Title: The Closet

Rating: T (for language only)

Author: tika12001 (aka Katie)

Disclaimer: not mine, never will be, make no money, etc etc

Summary: Jane and Maura hide in a closet. This leads to them coming out. Yep, it's the worst pun in the world, and I just used it. Badumtish!

Author's notes: Wait, is pun the right word? Eh. I'm too sleepy for this shit. Okay, so this was originally a prompt from... I wanna say Vonny but since I have a question mark after her name in my prompts document, I'm thinking that I'm not entirely certain... anyway, it was a prompt from someone for my smut story. But then I wrote this and it feels okay as is. Only okay. What is writing? Bwahaha.

I am soooo sorry about My Saving Grace. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon... but I've been kind of distracted lately. A good distracted, don't worry... a very good distracted. :-D So hopefully not too much longer! Anyways. I'll stop rambling so you can read. Xo

R&IR&IR&I

"This is making me very itchy."

Jane rolled her eyes as she pulled open a drawer, carefully rifling through its contents while trying not to disturb anything. It was hard to see in the dim lighting, but she supposed that was what happened when you broke into an office in the middle of the night, looking for evidence illegally. "Well, I did say that you didn't have to come with me!"

"I still let you in!" Maura hissed, her voice seeming to come from only centimetres away from Jane's right ear. Jane jumped and glared at Maura who was indeed standing only about two inches away. Maura took a step back but continued talking. "So even if I wasn't inside with you, I'd still get in trouble for aiding and abetting."

"Right, because I'd totally rat you out. Also, this place has big, scary security system. You, genius. Genius says it would be easy to break in here, given the right algorit... something. Tell me you didn't see this conclusion." Jane shut the drawer with a huff. Maybe in the next one. She pulled open the next one with a flourish. It was almost completely empty. Of course.

"You would rat me out?" Maura sounded simultaneously horrified and genuinely surprised, and Jane rolled her eyes once more.

"Of course I wouldn't, you idiot. I'd make up something." She tugged on the handle for the next drawer. Locked. Ha! "Maura, you still able to pick locks?"

"You would make something up? To protect me?" Maura asked, sounding completely awestruck. Jane sighed.

"Yes, of course I would. Best friends, remember? Now, the locks?"

"L-Biffs."

Jane smiled despite herself. "Yes. L-Biffs. Now... Maura?"

"Hmm?" Jane turned to see Maura with her eyebrows raised, looking pleasantly confused, and she couldn't help but let out a huff of laughter.

"The locks?"

"Oh! Right." Cheerfully, Maura pulled a bobby pin out of her hair, knelt down in front of the desk drawers, and happily set to her illegal task. Jane shook her head fondly. This woman...

"Hey! Up in the office!" The man's shout from the parking lot below was startling and entirely unwelcome. Jane swore loudly.

"Oh, and I was so close to getting it open too," Maura all but pouted, getting to her feet and looking petulant. Jane raised her hands in disbelief.

"Maura! We have a bit more to worry about than the damn drawer at the moment!" Jane hissed, grabbing Maura's wrist and listening carefully for noises inside the building.

Maura frowned, shaking off Jane's hand as she performed a slow pirouette, taking in their surroundings entirely. Grabbing Jane's wrist, she quickly dragged them over to a full length closet, and, tugging at Jane impatiently, got them both inside.

"Maura, that..." Jane whispered, but immediately shut up when the door to the office slammed open. ... is genius, she finished silently, letting out a quiet sigh of relief as she watched through the slatted door as what looked like an overgrown ape bounced his way around the office.

"Oh..." Maura breathed in her ear and Jane shook her head fondly. Guaranteed Maura was going on a silent monologue right now about exactly what hormones and chemicals and whatnot would cause such an awful lot of hair and such an abnormally large build on a human, and Jane found herself in the odd predicament of being both grateful that she didn't have to listen to the verbal onslaught, while also being vaguely curious about what exactly Maura would say. Being best friends with a genius is rubbing off on me, Jane thought fondly, as she shifted her weight slightly, but her thought was abruptly cut off when something jabbed her in the side. Being careful to keep her body completely still, she felt around behind her, carefully running her fingers over the items in the closet. It seemed to be completely full of random junk, but she quickly found what had jabbed her... an umbrella, laid at an odd angle. Jane shifted once more, away from it this time, and only then did she realize how closely pressed to Maura she was. Glittering eyes met hers in the gloom of the closet, and Jane swallowed heavily.

"NOTHING HERE, BOSS!" Ape Man bellowed outside the closet door and Jane jumped slightly. Maura's hands came up and pressed themselves against Jane's hips reassuringly and Jane breathed deeply, using the touch to ground herself and relax once more.

"Are you sure? Did you check the closet?" This voice was further away.

Shit. Jane tensed up again, barely aware of Maura's hands bunching the material at her hips nervously. Jane glanced out the slats anxiously, to see Ape Man looking at the closet reproachfully.

"Fucking shitballs... know how to do me job..." Ape Man muttered angrily, stalking over to the closet door. Jane tensed more, feeling like her muscles were about to snap under the tension. Ape Man slammed a fist on the door and instinctively, Jane curled into Maura... whether to protect or to be protected, she wasn't quite sure... but then, he was moving away... the office door was opening... and he was out of the room.

Minutes passed in utter silence... the only noises being that of the men who were still roaming the building, and slowly, excruciatingly slowly, Jane felt her muscles relax.

"Jane...?" Maura breathed, but, hearing another door slamming somewhere below them, Jane shook her head and put a finger to Maura's lips.

"No. Don't," she breathed, "wait till they're gone."

Maura nodded, and as soon as Jane let her hand fall, her arms were around Jane's waist, her head pressed into Jane's neck. Slowly, carefully, Jane wrapped her hands around Maura's back and, using the scant inch or two they had spare, gently rocked them back and forth. Again, she wasn't sure if this was meant to be comforting for Maura... or comforting for herself. If she was protecting Maura... or if Maura was protecting her.

For the first time, Jane found herself considering the unspoken third option... that it was both.

Finally... finally... the noises in the office building quietened down. There was a bang of a door on what sounded like the first floor, and then utter silence.

"I... ith it thafe?" Maura lisped out in a voice that barely got above a breath, and Jane felt a rush of affection at the realization that Maura listened to her too... it had been months ago that Jane mentioned to Maura that 's' was the easiest sound to overhear, that in a situation where quiet is key, it's best to lisp. And Maura had remembered.

"I think tho..." Jane lisped in return. "But..."

Maura nodded in understanding and her head found its pillow in the crook of Jane's shoulder again. Jane felt her heart speed up disconcertingly, and was all too aware that Maura would be able to feel it, but instead of pulling back and away, Jane bit her lip and pulled Maura even closer, resting her cheek against soft honey blonde curls. It felt like the scariest thing she'd ever done for some reason, but when Maura sighed in contentment, Jane couldn't help but smile.

But then... Maura was moving back slightly. All too aware of the stuff that surrounded them and the resounding crash it would make should any of the items fall, Jane tightened her grip around her waist, but Maura was not pulling away. She was only pulling back slightly. And for the second time that night, Jane found herself staring into glittery eyes, standing in a closet, with feelings pounding through her whole body that she'd rather not identify.

Vaguely, she wondered if this was somehow a metaphor for her entire life.

All thought processes stopped however, when one of Maura's hands released its grip on the material at Jane's hip, reaching up to caress her face. Jane felt her eyes flutter shut at the feather light touch... but they snapped open again at the gentle touch of lips to her own.

The sound of several engines starting up and cars peeling out of the parking lot below pulled Jane out of her stupor and she pulled herself away reluctantly. Feeling for the gun on her left hip, Jane carefully opened the closet door and peered around the dark room. All too aware that it could be a trap, she gestured for Maura to stay put and pressed her back up against the wall, heading to the window and looking down at the parking lot. All was still and silent. Still moving carefully and with her back to the wall, Jane moved to the door, opened it as quietly as possible, and, after listening intently for several seconds, chanced moving out, her eyes darting in as many directions as possible. Finally satisfied that the site was, in fact, vacated once more, she moved back into the room and opened the closet door, allowing Maura to step out.

"Okay. I think we're done."

"What about the drawer?" Maura asked, pointing, and Jane glanced at the drawer in question.

"Nah, it can stay loc..." she did a double take. "It's open now," she said blankly.

"Officer Franklin opened it when he was in here."

Jane blinked. "Officer whositnow?"

"Officer Franklin."

"Ape Man is a cop?"

"'Ape Man'?" Maura repeated, clearly amused.

"He's... big. And... hairy..." Jane gestured wildly then lowered her arms, feeling foolish. "He's undercover?"

"Yes. That's why he didn't open the closet door."

"He... right. But...! Hmm." Jane stared at the floor, scratching her head sheepishly. "Wait! How did you know he's a cop when I don't?"

Maura, meanwhile, had pulled a small packet of tissues out of her purse and, pulling one out of the packet, was diligently wiping down the cupboard door... Jane could only assume the reason for this was to wipe away fingerprints. She smiled, shaking her head, and decided not to mention the numerous objects they had touched on their way up to this office. Maura was not suited for a life of crime, that was for sure.

"Maura?"

"Hmm? Oh, he's a transfer from the Waltham office. He's only new. I met him last week."

"Why didn't I meet him then too?"

Maura popped the tissue back into her purse and looked at the door with satisfaction. "You were asleep in my office. When I attempted to wake you, you grumbled something about pink penguins and rolled away from me. I decided to leave the issue."

"Pink... right." Jane nodded awkwardly, looking down at the floor, suddenly feeling awkward. She was remembering what happened in the closet and suddenly, looking at the floor seemed to be the most interesting thing in the world.

"Jane?"

Jane blinked, suddenly aware that fabulous red shoes had just moved into her range of sight. She bit her lip. "Yes?"

"Are you going to look in the drawer?"

"Yes," Jane replied resolutely. She didn't move.

Maura sighed. The shoes moved away. There was the noise of rummaging, of papers shifting, then the shoes were back. "I think this is what you were after."

"You'll be itchy. You're stealing," Jane muttered, then immediately felt like slapping herself in the face. You'll be itchy... really?

"That's okay," Maura murmured. The shoes stepped closer, and Jane couldn't help but follow them to calves, thighs, hips, waist, breasts, shoulders... and finally, up to the face she knew so well.

"Maura?"

"I think we're out of the closet now, Jane. Literally and figuratively."

Jane let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess so."

There was silence as Maura reached out, running a gentle finger down Jane's face. Jane couldn't help but move her face into the touch, and when Maura pulled away, Jane grabbed her hand instinctively. Her heart was pounding, but the hand in her own was cool, still... it grounded Jane. As Maura always could... as only Maura could. Slowly, Jane brought it to her mouth and kissed it softly, watching as Maura's lips turned up in a happy smile.

"Take me home, Jane?"

"Of course, m'lady," Jane sassed in return, bowing deeply, before heading out the door in front of Maura, carefully sweeping the area with both eyes and gun as they made their way downstairs.

Before she left the room though, Jane couldn't help but glance at the closet. Yes, it was true... they were out of the closet now. Their feelings... their emotions... and it scared Jane to death. She didn't know what this meant for them... for her. But... she glanced at Maura quickly... she thought she'd be willing to take the risk.

For Maura.

END

Hi. Fancy seeing you here. Small world, isn't it? bwahaha.
Okay, yes, I go completely weird when I'm in a good mood. Er. Weirder. Still. WHEEEE! *runs around* YAY FOR DISTRACTIONS. BOO FOR DISTRACTIONS NOT BEING HERE RIGHT NOW. Me miss my distraction. Sigh.
Oh, you're still here. Ahem. Sorry. So, thanks for reading, and if you could possibly review I'd love you forever but all good if you don't. Except that I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND... oh fuck it. Too much effort. *snores*
Bye! Love to all, -Katie xoxo
EDIT: I can't believe 'dob you in' isn't a worldwide thing. I'M GONNA DOB ON YOU! Anyone? Really? Hmph. Anyway, fixed that up along with a few other little errors, plus extended on the undercover Officer Franklin bit too... may extend on this with other humourous little one shots about closets and coming out but we'll see. Thanks for reading!
P.S. I also TOTALLY threw in a reference to my awesome new jammies. BECAUSE I CAN. so there. :-P