Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it. This is just a random, hopefully humorous, Easter one-shot I thought up.

It's AU, taking place in the future with Tori and Jade a happily married couple. The other couples are Beck and Trina, and Andre and Carly from 'iCarly'. Beck and Trina have a daughter, Sam, and Andre and Carly have an adoptive son, Robbie, and Tori and Jade have an adoptive daughter, Cat.

Cat's five, so is Robbie, and Sam is six. I did that with Cat and Sam because Ariana and Jennette are a year apart, same birthday.

The other characters, not counting Trina, are twenty-eight. Trina is the oldest and twenty-nine. I did the ages that way as a way of saying that they had their kids after graduating college. Brina is the exception with Trina being a year older than the others.

Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'VicTORious' or its characters.

Tori POV

"Where are the eggs we're supposed to hide?" My wife of four years asks as I get dressed for the day, a faded pink sundress with my hair in a single braid down my back, and light make up.

"Downstairs under the sink. In the white shopping bag from Target." I tell her, putting my wedding ring back on after taking it off to use moisturizer. "What time is everyone supposed to be here?" I ask, grabbing my phone and following her down stairs.

"One at the latest. Beck and Trina said they're doing an Easter breakfast for Sam and giving her the Easter basket they got for her. And Andre and Carly will be here by noon or so with Robbie, don't know what they're doing." Jade answers, dressed in a purple sundress, I had to let her finger me in a movie theater to get her to wear anything other than solid black or blood red and purple was the only other color she'd wear, with her hair in a matching braid, her hair it's jet black from high school with mine still it's natural brunette.

"Is Cat still asleep?" I ask, not seeing our hyper five year old daughter running around.

"Yeah. You're giving her a bath this time. She won't sit still for me." Jade says, opening the cupboard under the sink and grabbing the bag. "And dressing her and doing her hair. I swear, she hates me." She says with a joking smile.

"She does not hate you." I say, grabbing the bag from her. "You just don't wash her the right way. You have to be gentle. Not rough." I say, pecking her on the cheek.

"Sorry. I'm used to being rough with you." Jade says with a smirk, grabbing the bag of candy and coins we're using to fill up the multi-colored plastic eggs.

"Yet you're gentle when you give me massages and when we make love." I counter, slapping her ass before grabbing the other bag and heading to the dining room table to put the candy and coins in the eggs.

"Slap my ass again when we're not having sex, and I tattoo 'Jade's Home Slut' on your forhead." Jade whispers into my ear, nipping the earlobe, before walking away. "What do you want for breakfast?" She asks casually, heading into the kitchen.

"French toast, scrambled eggs, sausage patties, and bacon. With milk and orange juice to drink." I say, shuddering a bit at her 'threat'. At least, I hope she was just joking about it.

"How about the eggs, bacon, and a thick sausage link, with orange juice, since I'm not making French toast and we're low on milk?" She counters with a devious tone.

"We don't have any sausage links?" I say, more like a question, as I put the small candies in the eggs and fifty cents with them, or just candy in an egg, or just the money in an egg.

"Yeah we do. That big black one you like to fuck me with that we keep hidden from Cat." She counters back, turning the stove on.

"Jade!" I yell, dropping the plastic egg I was holding.

"What?" She asks innocently, grabbing the bacon from the freezer and eggs from the fridge.

A few hours later, after giving Cat her bath and getting her dressed in a pale yellow sundress with a bunny on the front, and styling her hair in to ponytails, the three of us are sitting on the living room, my sister and her husband beside us as our children play in front of us.

"Cat, take Sam up to your room and show her that new toy of yours." Jade suggests with a small smile.

"Come on Sammy." Cat says, grabbing the six year old blonde's hand and dragging her, the same way Jade tends to do to me, which explains where Cat got it from, up stairs.

"So, I take it Beck filled your eggs this morning Trina?" Jade asks with a smirk once we hear the two girls giggling upstairs.

"What are you talking about?" I ask her, seeing my sister blush and Beck look away.

"Think about something babe." Jade says, shifting so she's facing me. "When your sister got here, her hair was still kinda mussed up, which you know she never leaves the house with, her clothes were somewhat ruffled, and she looks like she has a flush still. What do you think they did before they got here?" She asks me, serious.

"Huh?" I ask, staring between my wife and my sister. "Oh." I say, when I start to realize it. "Oh." I say a bit louder when it finally clicks. "Ew." I say, not wanting to think about my sister and brother-in-law having unprotected sex. Or sex at all.

"Why didn't you guys do the deed earlier, anyway? I know you two are up early from when Beck snuck in and you two did it while I was crashing with Tori in high school." Jade asks, pulling me to her.

"We woke up late, and we wanted to get it done before Sam woke up. It didn't exactly work that way." Trina says, looking away from us.

"If you tell me Sam walked in on you, I'm laughing until I pass out." Jade says, already trying not to laugh.

"No, we didn't get caught." Beck says, rolling his eyes. "But she did pound on the door as we were trying to go take our shower, telling us that if we didn't leave soon, we'd miss Easter." He says, laughing.

"Ha!" Jade says, laughing at them.

"Oh, shut up. Remember when dad caught you two about to sixty-nine after graduation?" Trina asks us with a smug smile.

"Never speak of it!" Jade says, glaring at Trina.

"Wait, what?" Beck asks, clearly not knowing the story.

"Oh yeah. Tori and Jade hear decided to celebrate graduation by going down on each other, still in their caps and gowns, no idea how they even had them still, let alone the caps still on, when mom and dad came home. Mom went to the kitchen to grab something to drink, when dad went up to let them know they were home. He opened the door to see Jade on her back, gown wide open, nothing underneath, with Tori in a similar dress above her. Tori didn't know, but Jade sure as hell did. Dad said she was lucky she doesn't have a penis and that their gowns covered their bodies, or Jade would be locked up in solitary without visitors or anything until she died." Trina says, laughing as she tells the story.

"Hey, at least I didn't get threatened to get my manhood shot off with a high caliber sniper rifle when he caught us. Remember when he caught you two about have sex in their room when they were on vacation?" Jade counters, smirking.

"He still has that rifle round with my name etched in the side." Beck says, grimacing.

"Wait, he was serious about that?" I ask, looking between them, my shock from them telling these stories with our kids upstairs fading momentarily.

"Oh yeah. Every time he sees me, he pulls it out of his pocket and shows me. Right on the side of the casing says 'Beckett James Oliver-Feb. 9 to ?'. Scares the shit out of me each time." Beck says, pulling Trina onto his lap.

"Mommies! Uncle Dre and Aunt Carly are here!" Cat yells, running down the stairs, a smiling Sam behind her.

"Hey, how is Sam blonde? Your both brunette." I ask, staring at them and their daughter.

"I don't know. Who cares?" Trina says, holding her daughter.

"Happy Easter!" Andre, my best friend since childhood, calls as he opens the door, as Carly and their son Robbie walk in after him, the three of them smiling and waving. Yes, he has his own key, just like Carly, Beck, and Trina do. We each have a key to the other's house. Kind of a rule we had since high school. Don't ask.

"Beck, Andre, Jade. You three go hide the eggs. Us woman will watch the kids." I say, acting like a housewife from the thirties or something.

"I'm a woman too!" Jade calls, not caring about my, admitably, poor joke.

"Prove it." I counter, smirking at her.

"Oh yeah, like I want to show Beck and Andre my girly parts." Jade says, following the guys outside.

"What are girly parts?" Cat asks, hugging my leg, with a confused frown.

"Uh, I'll tell you when you're older." I say with a blush as Trina and Carly laugh.

Ah, Easter. A time to tell your family embarrassing stories. Or is that just my family?

That's it for this. Like I said before, I hope it was humorous.

Happy Easter. Hope everyone that's reading this who celebrates it has a good one.

Blessed Be.