author's note:

Um, so I'm alive. I have pretty much zero inspiration/motivation right now. This is helping me escape the frustration of life at the moment, and these two have been on my mind for quite awhile now. This is AU and is placed (timeline wise) after Sasuke leaves again and before the prologue of canon pairings. Certain events from the manga are either not addressed or didn't happen because this is really not heavily reliant on canon plot. It is a fic devoted to Kakashi and Sakura for the sheer guilty pleasure of it, and as of right now, is rated T for language because of the innocence of their initial relationship. I haven't yet decided if the rating will become anything more serious. Er...yeah. Hope you enjoy :) Lady Flick

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STUPEFIED

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Chapter 1

Adjustment

The familiar gates of Konoha greeted him and the Copy-Nin reflected on the utter sensation of relief that always floods through him every time he manages to barely return home. Four long years kept him away from his sanctuary, though the aforementioned relief often lingers only until grief and guilt subdue it. Nevertheless, he was on an extended assignment that kept him away and he was more than happy to finally return. One step, two steps, and then he collapsed at the threshold. Distant footsteps was all he heard before darkness ensconced his already bleary vision.

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"You idiot."

He knew that voice. It was hardened by life, riddled with exasperation for the foolish and a wisdom that only comes with living for decades.

"I know you're awake, brat," the voice snarled. Even so, Kakashi knew affection when it presented itself. "Somehow you made it back with sheer dumb luck," the woman went on, quite aware that the silver-haired man was conscious. A jab at his arm followed her words. "Goddammit, Hatake, acknowledge your Hokage!"

The Copy-Nin would have chuckled if the motion didn't send a fresh stab of pain up his side. His eyes opened feebly and blinked at the bright hospital lights. The Sharingan was expertly bandaged, but the pulsing pain in his socket spoke volumes of its deteriorating state. A clearing throat drew his attention to the very petulant blonde that stood at his bed-side, hands at the swell of her hips. He smiled, though it was hidden beneath his mask.

"You were supposed to return three years ago – idiot!" Tsunade admonished, looking none too pleased. "You're late."

At that, he did chuckle, though it turned quickly into a groan. "I...got lost on the road of life," he supplied with a careless grin.

Tsunade chose to ignore it. "Now you're too broken and pathetic to become the Rokudaime. I was really looking forward to retiring immediately, you know."

"Isn't Naruto still a viable option?" Kakashi supplied, allowing his good eye to drift closed. The hum of the light fixture above him was both soothing and unnerving at the same time. Was that apples he smelled?

The Godaime snorted, crossing her terrifyingly strong arms over her chest. "Yeah, when he's older and wiser – maybe when he's closer to 40. Like you."

Kakashi peered at her through his good eye. "I'm a very young and wily mid thirty-year-old."

Tsunade scoffed. "You're lucky you're alive. Saving you nearly cost me my best apprentice." He must have appeared alarmed, because the woman sighed. "Relax. She's fine. Which is more than I can say for you – what the hell do you think you're doing?" She demanded as the patient gingerly sat up on his cot, flicking the wires attached to his chest.

"I might lack in punctuality but not manners. I need to thank her. And then scold her for doing something so dumb," Kakashi said simply, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed. "Where is she?"

Perhaps he was a difficult patient to deal with even in his state of unconsciousness, because Tsunade just rolled her eyes and muttered something that sounded like "why bother" before leaving the silver-haired man to his own devices.

A part of him was grateful she didn't try to convince (or order) him to stay in bed, but the more rational side wished she had. What the hell was he thinking? He couldn't even inch off the bed without wincing. On top of that – he had no idea where the medic might be. Was she working? Was she at home? Training? It occurred to him that he was being an idiot and that she would likely just come to him for a check up. So instead, he eased back into bed and busied himself with eating the neatly sliced apples at his side-table.

Sakura would check on him soon.

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The hours passed and Kakashi awoke from a rather deep slumber, very much alone but feeling much better. He wondered if Sakura stopped by. His only clue was more sliced apples on the previously empty plate at his bed side.

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Three days later he was dismissed from the hospital, mostly because he kept trying to leave on his own accord and the staff were much too busy to keep tabs on the insufferable Jounin. At this point, he had seen much of Genma, Naruto, and Kurenai, but none of the elusive medic. What the hell? It shouldn't have bothered him, and so he did his best to shrug it off. Even so, it was a bit disappointing. He didn't linger on the deflating feeling it gave him, and instead wandered down the cobblestone street towards his home.

People openly gaped at him, at which he lifted a cheerful hand and offered a friendly, "Yo."

"What do you think you're doing?" Ah-ha!

He peered over his shoulder to see a head of pink bound towards him. "Saku-" the expression on her face told him to shut up, and he did so.

"What do you think you're doing?" She repeated, "You're supposed to be in the hospital for a week at the least!"

Before he could respond that he appreciates her concern but he's a grown-ass man who can take care of himself, thank-you-very-much, she continued.

"And you could have at least changed into some proper clothes before leaving, idiot."

Kakashi blinked. Ah, yes. Hospital gown. "I thought it was quite brisk out," he noted mildly, prompting the young medic to shake her head. He smiled then. "It's good to see you, Sakura."

She stared at him much in the manner of a parent reprimanding a child, before taking two steps to close the distance between them and fitting her arms around his torso. "It's good to see you, too."

When they parted, the woman hastily wiped at the tears dotting the edges of her eyes. "You are the most insufferably stubborn shinobi I know," she declared. "You almost died."

He only offered a dismissive shrug. "You almost died."

"Saving you," she quipped, narrowing her eyes – had they always been such a bright green? There was something in her gaze he couldn't quite deem as familiar to the Sakura he knew. "Here's your pants, you can at least stop flashing all of Konoha and giving all the civilian women nosebleeds."

Was that a compliment?

Kakashi gave her an amused look, before grabbing the proffered clothing and, with her help, tugging the sweat pants over his legs. "Hospital gowns are so mundane. You'd think a bare ass wouldn't shock people these days," he declared.

Sakura laughed – how delicate – and gave the man a look that he had never seen on her before. Coy? "Civilians will never be accustomed to such toned and firm shinobi features," she responded, arching a brow in amusement. "Now come on, old man. We should get you home."

Did she just call his ass firm?

"I'm not old," he grumbled, earning another laugh from the young woman. Sakura hooked her arm through his; the motion was so natural for her, he wondered when she felt close enough to do something like that. He imagined she was that close with Naruto, but not with her former sensei. Or was that simply something that came with growing up and saving lives?

"Whatever," the medic responded, waving a hand.

Their walk was peaceful enough, though he was getting the sensation that Sakura was walking him home in the same manner that she would escort an elderly patient to his cot. This bothered Kakashi, but he didn't mention it – besides, it was nice having her to support his weight. They moved at a snail's pace, but Sakura didn't seem to mind, and if she did, he couldn't tell. Not from the smile on her lips – (They seemed pinker than he recalled.) – or the glint in her eyes – (Seriously, had they always been so green?) – or the way she tilted her head back to laugh openly into the air.

"So, doctor, huh?" Kakashi asked, eyeing her white coat.

Sakura grinned; it was an expression that was so unfamiliar, Kakashi found himself staring at her mouth in curiosity. She didn't notice. "I suppose I'm a full-fledged doctor now, if that's what this coat means. But I refer to myself as a medic. I'm not in it for the title," she paused. "Though Doctor Haruno sounds rather nice, doesn't it?"

Kakashi agreed.

They reached his home and Sakura released his arm, offering a warm smile that was just so Sakura that the man couldn't help but return it. "Welcome home, Kakashi," she said.

Something made the man pause, before nodding his head and thanking the medic for her company and help. It wasn't until he entered his apartment, shut the door, and the young woman was long gone did the Copy-Nin realize what felt so strange: Sakura didn't refer to him as her sensei.

A bemused smile stretched across his lips.

Four years was a long time.

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Over the next few days, Kakashi found himself recovering rather quickly, particularly due to the nurses sent from the hospital to check up on him. He wondered why Sakura wasn't the one showing up at his door, but he supposed she was busy – saving lives and all. On the fifth day, however, he brought this up to the nurse attending to the gash at his side.

The dark haired woman only blinked in mild surprise, before continuing to ring out the towel she had just dunked into a bowl of water. "I'm fairly certain Haruno-senpai is on a mission," she answered absently, "I'll tell her you asked for her."

Kakashi shrugged, "No need."

Nevertheless, that very evening Sakura arrived at his doorstep with an excited Naruto, ready to gush about the mission they had just accomplished over a bottle of sake.

"Are you guys even allowed to drink?" Kakashi asked, unable to hide the skepticism in his tone.

Naruto was the one who took offense. "You've been gone four years old-man! A lot has changed since then! Did you notice I'm as tall as you, now?" To demonstrate this, the blond straightened up to full height.

Kakashi certainly noticed that they were of nearly equal stature.

"I think Kakashi is a little taller, still," Sakura said with a smirk meant entirely to tease her dear friend. Would he ever get used to her referring to him without his former title? It was disconcerting. As if he hopped into a time machine and went straight into the future. She lifted the bottle of cold sake and eyed the two men. "Well?"

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Three hours later found the trio sitting in Kakashi's living room, eight bottles deep.

"And then Sakura-chan, did this thing that was so funny—what was it Sakura-chan?" Naruto leaned heavily on his side, eyes half-open as he prompted the woman to recall her hilarious encounter with a rather handsy Genma.

Sakura laughed at the memory, nearly snorting. "Oh, Genma," she shook her head, hand at her forehead. "I forgot about that night! It was my eighteenth birthday," she began, fixing her dazed eyes on the head of silver watching her in amusement. "He challenged me to a drinking match," the medic chuckled, tilting her head back to laugh because this memory was just so funny. "And he...he must have not realized that I could," she paused, searching for words, "metabolize the alcohol from my system. It was hilarious. He got so drunk."

Naruto laughed so hard he tumbled onto his side on the carpeted floor, just missing the empty stack of ramen bowls near his head. "He...he leaned over the bar and tossed chunks! He was banned for an entire year!" There were tears on the corner of his eyes. "A year!"

Despite the sake clouding his mind, Kakashi did the math. "Your eighteenth? Wasn't I here for that?" he recalled distantly. That was precisely four years ago, he distinctly remembered her inviting him out for her birthday.

Sakura smiled, it was soft and nostalgic. "You were busy," she said lightly, before pouring herself another shot of cool sake. Before bringing it to her lips, she lifted it to him, "but we're having that drink you owed me now, aren't we? Took you long enough." There it was again, the smirk, the coy look in her eyes.

Kakashi poured himself another cup as well. "And knowing Genma, you guys made a bet, didn't you?"

The usually professional medic nodded. "He wanted a kiss."

"Good thing you won," the Copy-Nin said.

"Oh, I still kissed him," Sakura added frankly. "How could I not? It's Genma." Naruto's snore drew her gaze to the sleeping blond and she missed the utter look of shock in her former sensei's single good eye. "He's out like a light. I'm sorry, Kakashi, we weren't supposed to be here so long. We should go." She moved to wake Naruto, but the older man caught her elbow. She watched him as he searched for what he wanted to say.

"Stay. It's nice to have some company once in awhile. Let the idiot sleep."

Sakura regarded him a moment longer, before easing back to her seat on the ground and grinned. "So are you going to stare at me all night or pour me more sake?"

Kakashi decided that he quite preferred this older Sakura.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, while she told him about her studies and progress, he entertained the idea of what her lips might feel like.

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When morning hit, so did their awful, dumb, decision to drink until dawn. Naruto grumbled something unintelligible as he sat up, cracking his back. "Geez, you'd think with all the money that old geezer gets from all his missions, he'd invest in softer carpet."

"I'm right here, you know," came Kakashi's voice from the ground. He wondered when the last time he drank so heavily was. They must have knocked down at least eight large sake bottles on their own, which was nothing compared to what he's seen Genma toss back, but he was no spring chicken anymore. His limbs told him as much as he attempted to sit up. A groan escaped from his parched mouth. To his surprise, a glass of water was presented before him.

Sakura was up, looking too put together and wearing a much too cheerful smile that made him hate life. "You should drink water," she instructed, still holding the glass.

Kakashi took it and quenched his thirst. Only after he upended the glass did he acknowledge her obviously well-rested state. "How-?"

"Chakra metabolism and what-not," she answered with a wave of her hand. "I'll get you more water." She disappeared back into the kitchen, leaving Kakashi to stare glumly at the ground for his poor decisions.

"I hate her, too," Naruto grumbled, shielding his eyes from the sunshine. "She always suggest to go drinking and then just avoids the hangover the next day. What kind of bonding is that?"

To her credit, Sakura returned with a tray of scrambled eggs, toast, and freshly brewed coffee.

Naruto's eyes brightened. "You're the best, Sakura-chan!"

She scowled at him. "I distinctly remember you saying that you hate me."

He pouted, "You know I was joking!"

"Damn right," the woman muttered, setting the tray before the ravenous men. "I have to go to work. Try not to die of dehydration, OK?"

"Bye, Sakura-chan!" Naruto sang as she made to leave.

Before she could open the door, however, a quick hand beat her to it. She spun to find the host standing behind her, good eye crinkled with a polite smile. "Have a good day, Sakura," Kakashi said, "Thank you for breakfast."

The medic nodded. "Anytime. That was fun."

As she left, Kakashi couldn't help but agree. That was fun.

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"Were my eyes playing tricks on me, or did I spy a mop of rather messy pink hair leave your apartment this morning?"

Kakashi didn't have to lower his beloved book to acknowledge the man who approached. He merely flipped to the next page. "You did," he said simply, wondering just what Genma might think of it.

"Back a week and already you convince that vixen to come home with you?" A laugh. "And here I thought you might've lost your touch being on a solo mission all these years!"

The Copy-Nin couldn't keep the smile from spreading beneath his mask and he glanced up at his friend. "Since when is Sakura synonymous with vixen," he dared to ask.

Genma sat by his long-time comrade, senbon balanced expertly between his lips as he leaned back onto his elbows, watching the clouds drift by above. "Since the Christmas party four years ago," he laughed, recalling some hilarious memory Kakashi was not privy to.

"And what happened at the Christmas party four years ago?" Kakashi asked, containing his interest.

Genma shrugged. "Just the usual stuff," he answered, looking over at his friend. "You've been to those Jounin parties. You know how crazy they can be."

That got the silver-haired man's attention. "Jounin party?"

"She didn't tell you? That former student of yours is a Jounin now!" Genma chuckled, "She's grown, Hatake. She's a woman now. Don't tell me you haven't noticed. She was over your place, and I'm assuming it wasn't for tea."

Kakashi ignored the suggestive tone in his counterpart's voice and returned his attention to the novel at hand. "No, it was for sake."

Let Genma take that however he wished.

"I've got to go meet with the Hokage."

With that said, Kakashi disappeared.

Of course, he didn't really have a meeting with Tsunade, but he couldn't quite wrap his head around the facts that:

1) Sakura was a vixen – what the hell did that mean anyways? Not that he was unaware of the type of woman Genma constituted as vixens, but why was Sakura one? What happened?

And 2) She was Jounin, now! A Jounin. Why hadn't she mentioned that? She had been a Jounin for four years! Did it happen before he left? Why wouldn't she tell him?

They were equals.

Somehow, that was slightly disconcerting.

Up until he left, the Copy-nin had always regarded Sakura with the affection an uncle might have for a niece. He recognized her growth, her strength, her abilities, and respected her for them. Certainly, he knew she'd grow up, as well, likely in grace, but he never entertained the idea that he might be so confused in his view of her. He was fourteen years her senior!

But Genma had kissed her, and Genma was older than him.

Kakashi had no idea what to make of this information and decided not to dwell on it further lest he go crazy. Perhaps it was time to take on another mission to just avoid this awkward situation.

By nightfall, he decided it was safe to leave the heavy canopy of Konoha forest and make his way home. Usually his shinobi instincts were on the mark, but if he had left five minutes earlier or five minutes later, he would not have bumped right into Genma, Hayate, and Anko on their way to the bar. With some needling and rather forceful displays of affection from Anko, they convinced the Copy-Nin to tag along.

Perhaps he needed to reminisce about old times with old friends and not former students? Maybe then things would be right with the world and Sakura would not be a vixen and he wouldn't wonder at the softness of her lips.

They walked into the bar, the silver-haired man in tow, and claimed their usual table. Kakashi's stool was particularly wobbly, just as he remembered it.

"So, Hatake, what have you been up to?" Anko queried over her beer. "It's been so damn long. It's weird seeing you sitting there. Your big gray head blocking my view of the delicious bar tender," and with that she leaned her head to the side to shoot a wink at the decidedly young-looking man behind the counter.

Kakashi took a sip of his drink. "Well if no one told you, I was on a mission these past four years," he deadpanned, arching a brow at the brunette currently making lewd eyes towards the bar.

"She's not listening," Hayate supplied. "She does this every time."

"Enough about Anko and her exploits. Tell us about yours," Genma grinned.

Hayate's brows rose. "Oh? Haven't you been recovering this past week or so?"

"What man doesn't have the energy to rattle the head board!" Genma exclaimed, slapping a hand on his comrade's back. "This silver fox wasted no time upon his homecoming. So what happened, Hatake?"

Kakashi shrugged and took another drink of his beer. "She showed up with sake and we were up until dawn."

Genma whistled. "That Haruno's stamina is rather impressive from what I remember-"

Kakashi nearly broke his glass in his tight grip.

Genma felt the tension and laughed. "It was a joke, Kakashi."

Hayate, however, seemed impressed. "Wow. Sakura? Really? I've heard she's nearly impossible to bring home."

Kakashi wasn't sure he liked talking about his former student in such a context. "She and Naruto came over to catch up," he revealed, earning a rather disappointed glare from the senbon-chewing Jounin. "Hey, it's not my fault your dirty head jumps to conclusions."

Anko decided to return to the conversation at hand, seeing as gossip was involved. "I heard that she only gives in to such temptations when she's away on missions. Not wanting to get involved with people at home and on her teams and all that garbage. I think it's quite noble of her, really. She fills her needs and lives her life. I say cheers to that!"

"Who can blame her for not wanting to get attached? That Uchiha really screwed her up."

Kakashi stood from the table. "I'm going home."

"Already? You barely had any of your drink!" Genma protested.

The Copy-Nin scowled and finished his full beer with impressive speed before leaving. In hindsight, he shouldn't have downed the entirety of the pint in approximately six seconds flat. He was feeling its effects soon after parting ways. His head was getting woozier and his steps less purposeful as he wandered down the road heading who-knows-where. He found himself at the bridge he often met his Genin team at, and leaned against the railing.

Moonlight lit the surface, but otherwise the lake was a sheet of blackness that rippled here and there. Kakashi pondered the idea of jumping in because that sounded so refreshing. He shrugged off his flak jacket and was in the midst of lifting the long-sleeved shirt he wore beneath it when a familiar voice interrupted him.

"Why do you keep insisting on flashing civilians?"

He lowered his shirt and offered an eye-crinkling smile at the medic approaching. Her hair appeared almost purple in the moonlight. "Ah, Sakura, just the woman I needed," Kakashi said cheerfully.

Judging by the stack of papers in her hands, she had just gotten off work. Sakura hesitated, eyeing him warily, before coming nearer. "And why do you need me, Kakashi?" She implored quietly, cautiously, unsure of just what the hell was happening.

Kakashi turned to her then, hip absently hitting the railing as he did so. "Make me better?" He asked so pitifully that the young woman laughed.

"What happened to you?" She grinned, deciding to help the man with the alcohol in his system. Setting down her pile of paperwork, she turned to the once again inebriated Hatake Kakashi. Green swathed one hand and she placed it over his toned middle, allowing her free hand to hold him steady.

"Genma," Kakashi mumbled into the sleeve of her tunic before leaning forward and resting his head on her shoulder, bracing himself with the railing for support.

The medic could feel his hot breath trickle through her fabric and she ignored it as best she could, instead focusing on the task at hand: sobering up her former sensei. "Ah, yes. Genma can be a handful," she agreed.

"He says you're a vixen," Kakashi prompted.

He could hear the smirk in her tone. "And?"

"Why does he say you're a vixen?" The Copy-Nin pressed.

Sakura laughed then and pushed Kakashi up so he could stand on his own. His balance improved, and he blinked at the realization that he felt a thousand times better. "What does it matter what Genma thinks of me?" She said with that tilted smile that Kakashi couldn't seem to forget, "You should draw your own conclusions. Do you think I'm a vixen?"

Kakashi scowled, thoughtful. "No. But I also didn't realize you're a Jounin, now."

"You heard, huh?" She appeared bemused.

"That bit of truth was also revealed by Genma."

"You shouldn't believe everything you hear," Sakura admonished as she bent down to retrieve his flak jacket and her paperwork. "I don't recall you ever forming opinions based on rumors." The medic shrugged a single shoulder, and he could have sworn that devious glint in her eye was not a trick of the moonlight. "You always found things out for yourself. Why stop now?"

He simply stared at her, suddenly coherent mind trying its best to piece together her words.

Sakura smiled at his silence, "Good night, Kakashi."

Hatake Kakashi, in a state of sober mind, seriously contemplated jumping into the river.

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