When It's Time

Four years... it had been four years since he had stepped foot back into the streets of the Hidden Leaf. Konoha. His home. It wasn't just home because this was where he grew up. Yes, of course he felt sentimentality toward this place. It was home for so many other reasons. The once great Uchiha clan resided here until they were annhilated, and he continued to live here for years on after the massacre. He went to the academy here, studying to become a powerful shinobi. He had made friends here, grew bonds that he found out where entirely unbreakable, though he may have tried to sever those bonds, it didn't happen. After all he'd been through, all he fought through and suffered through, darkness taking him over, the curse of hatred comsuming his soul, he was brought back by his best friend, and he was forgiven. The war was over. Forgiveness was not something he truly expected from Naruto, Kakashi and of course, Sakura, after all he had put them through. It continuously weighed on his mind. Sometimes making his chest physically ache. It was home because of them, because of her.

Sasuke Uchiha had stayed an entire year in Konoha after the war. After losing his left arm to his battle with Naruto, as well as all of the other injuries he had sustained, they both needed time in the hospital to heal up and get better. Not just physically, but mentally as well. Sakura would check on them both daily, doing their vital signs, bringing them food, and when he felt strong enough, Sasuke ventured outside for a walk and saw the village appeared to be in shambles. There were so many people grieving and lost, broken and wounded, sad and emotionally traumatized. After what seemed like ages, a week or so later, as Sasuke had lost track of the time, he and Naruto were finally discharged.

Once he was out of the hospital, Sasuke spent time with his friends, working on repairing his relationships, particularly with Sakura. He also spent time helping repair damages to the village and surrounding neighborhoods that were damaged by war. He helped bury the dead, he grieved alongside the others for the loss of Konoha's people due to war. He ran errands for people who needed it, helped out those who needed help regardless of what the issue was. It could've been something as simple as needing weeds pulled, painting a fence or getting stuff down from a high place they couldn't reach.

Sasuke took the time and found food for the hungry and weak, even went so far as to fishing if that meant they could eat. He never realized how things were in such a state since his depature and return. Sasuke did everything he could in the village for others to show that he had changed, that he was back, but most people didn't seem to want to acknowledge that. They still regarded him as a criminal, no matter how hard he tried, and he was still yet to find out of he was going to punished and imprisoned for life for his crimes.

He tried hard to repent for his sins. All he wanted was forgiveness, but he questioned himself daily if he deserved it at all, and maybe he should just stop trying since nobody seemed to want to offer him forgiveness asides from his former teammates and sensei. Nevertheless he walked Sakura to work to the hospital every morning, and would walk her home each night to make sure she had gotten home safe. He even let Naruto drag him to Ichiraku's for some ramen, though the sight of watching Naruto eat bowl after bowl was thoroughly disgusting. He even paid for the meal.

Walking through town on his own, Sasuke would try to hide himself from the cold stares and harsh whispers, in a long, black cloak with a high collar that covered the bottom half of his face. He could feel the village people's eyes on him. He could hear the whispers coming from behind their hands to one another, and yet he still walked forward, nonchalant and taciturn as he could get, but it did not help him feel anymore welcome than what he knew he was. And he was't. He knew his Rinnegan unnerved many folks.

Just the other day he recalled trying to help a trio of young nin, two males and a female. One of the males had fallen out of the tree that day. They had been learning to climb trees with no hands, just as he, Sakura and Naruto had once learned in their early days of training and carefreeness. However they had been alone. No sign of Konohamaru or any other sensei was in sight.

"You alright?" Sasuke's voice startled the three young shinobi-in-training while one clutched his ankle, tears streaking through the mess on his dirty, scratched up face. "You should be more careful." The two children that sat beside their friend gasped and backed away from Sasuke as he approached to help the fallen ninja child.

"Look at his eye," the female child whispered to her friend. "It's scary." Sasuke closed his Rinnegan so it was no longer visible and felt something shift inside of him. He was scary... and he wondered if he scared these children, who else did he scare?

"Yeah. Isn't he the guy who wanted to destroy our village a long time ago anyway? That's what my mom said about him the other day," the other boy replied back to the girl. "He might hurt our friend!" Sasuke ignored the kids whispering. They were just kids after all, right? Kids had no filter, really. Still. He couldn't deny to himself that the words stung just a bit.

"Maybe we should get you over to the hospital and have Sakura take a look at that ankle," Sasuke told the sobbing child. He was rubbing his eyes with his fists and looking up at the young man. "You wouldn't have gotten hurt if you weren't being so reckless," the Uchiha said with a sigh, running his only hand through his black, spiked locks. "C'mon then." He held a hand out to help the kid stand up, which caused him to screech in pain as he accidentally placed weight on the injured ankle. Sasuke sighed once more. "I can't believe I'm about to do this." He grabbed the kid by his thighs and hoisted him up on his good arm.

"HEY! YOU! LET GO OF OUR FRIEND! DON'T YOU DARE HURT HIM!" The little female ninja yelled from behind Sasuke and the boy.

Sasuke rolled his mismatched eyes. "I'm taking him to the hospital. He hurt his ankle falling out of the tree. I'm not going to hurt him." I'm not going to hurt him or anyone anymore... Why is it every single time I do anything to try and help anyone, people always stare at me and watch me? And say things like don't hurt him, don't hurt her, and... Sasuke's thoughts trailed off as he began walking away from the training grounds with the kid in his arm and the two younger ninja following, watching the black haired Uchiha carry the child toward the hospital. "If you're coming, let's go."

They followed curiously as Sasuke approached the hospital with the sniffling boy in tow. The two ninja children waited outside while Sasuke went inside, ignoring the looks people were giving him, especially due to the fact that he was carried a wounded child. He walked up to the reception desk right away. "Oh! Sasuke! Hello! What do you have there?" the middle-aged woman with a kind, welcoming face, at the desk greeted the Uchiha boy. She was one of the few people in Konoha who was always so kind toward him, and he couldn't help but feel a touch of gratitude for it. At least she wasn't one who eyed him suspiciously. She had taken a liking to him when he was admitted after the war, and since then, she had always greeted him with kindness when he'd stop in to visit Sakura. Today was no exception.

"Kids out playing on the training grounds and this one hurt himself. Can you possibly get Sakura for me?" he explained to the woman.

"Of course!" She picked up the reception phone and called for Sakura to come to the front desk. "Sakura? Yes! Sasuke is here at the hospital. He's at the front desk waiting for you." She hung the phone up, and within moments the pink-haired konoichi was rushing forward toward Sasuke.

"Oh! Sasuke! What are you-," Sakura paused as she stopped in front of him, and her eyes fell on the boy Sasuke was holding. "Oh my goodness, what happened here?"

"This one fell out of a tree trying to climb it using no hands. I think he did something to his ankle," Sasuke attempted to explain.

"Go ahead and bring him back here," Sakura stated, walking into an empty room. "I'll take a look at him here." Sasuke obliged and carried the boy into the hospital room and carefully sat him down on the bed. He stepped back out of the medical ninja's way as she began to work on healing the small child. He stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe and watched the kunoichi work. Sakura's way with children and people never ceased to amaze him, and yet, he wondered how he could deserve someone so pure, gentle and filled with kindness, loving someone like him the way that she did, and he always knew it. As he watched her with the child, Sasuke made a decision right then and there. He was tired of the staring and the whispers and the rumors. He didn't want to come across as scary. He knew his Rinnegan unsettled the people of Konoha. Hell his very presence unsettled them. It wasn't difficult to see right through that with the way people treated him, no matter how hard he had tried.

After Sakura was finished with the child, she contacted his parents and soon the boy was on his way home with a newly healed ankle, and a gentle but firm lecture from Sakura about chakra control and to not try anything reckless again without their sensei nearby, but not before the boy whispered a shy 'thank you for helping me' to Sasuke, surprising the Uchiha. Sasuke had stood and watched her the entire time, unable to take his eyes off of her, and a wave of sadness washed over him that he did not allow anyone to see. He was going to tell her that he was leaving. It was time. The war had been over for a year and people still looked at him as an international criminal who might snap at any moment and attack them all. He needed a journey of redemption. He needed to see the world with new eyes. Though there was one problem. How was he going to tell Sakura? Things were going so well between them. They were getting closer little by little.

Sasuke could sense his own feelings for this girl growing and changing over the course of this past year. In truth, he'd always had feelings for Sakura. Even when he was at his lowest moment, lost in the depth of darkness, he attempted to attack her, but he could not kill her. Something always held him back, and yet now he finally understood why. He was broken from that curse of hatred now, and he could see the people whom he had built bonds with now more clearly than ever. Kakashi was almost like a fatherly figure to him. Even after everything he'd done and been through, Kakashi still regarded him as his student. He remembered sitting and listening to the long lecture Kakashi had given him after the war. He remembered Kakashi reaching his arm out to place around Sasuke, letting him know he forgave him after the lecture, and nothing more was spoken about it. Much like a father would have done.

The young Uchiha man found that he cared for Naruto like a brother and Naruto cared for him the same way. There was room in his heart to care for someone else as dearly as he cared for Itachi, but with Sakura, it was a whole other sensation. It was a different kind of feeling, something he may have began experiencing at one point in his life, but it had all fallen apart. Now it was growing, blossoming inside of him. Perhaps this is the same way his mother may have felt about his father, or perhaps the way his old acquaintence, Ino Yamanaka, felt about Sai, considering how much their relationship had grown over the past year after the war. He had even caught peeks of them hiding behind buildings, trees, boxes, and even trashcans to steal kisses, and he absentmindedly found himself thinking of he and Sakura doing the same.

And even though he sometimes pictured himself doing things like this with Sakura, he couldn't allow it. Simply because he felt he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve deep affections to be shown like this to him from her. Not yet. He needed to go on this journey. He needed to redeem himself. He would start with visiting the Kazekage's village, the Village Hidden in the Sand. He felt he needed to personally apologize to Gaara for everything that had happened, not just because it was necessary, but because Gaara and Naruto were friends. It was also out of respect for the person he considered to be his best friend. Even though the blond drove him nuts sometimes, he couldn't help but still enjoy the knucklehead's company.

"Sakura," Sasuke began as the rose-haired girl cleaned up after the boy had left the hospital. "Meet me at the bench after you get off of work. You know which one I'm referring to. There's something we need to talk about."

"Wha- Sasuke? What's this all about? What's going on!" came the girl's voice from behind him, but Sasuke was already making his way out of the hospital. He needed to get away. He needed time to think. It was going to be hard enough telling her that he was going to leave, and that this was something he needed to do for himself so he could come back and he could start a real future with her, a real relationship, but now? It just wasn't possible, no matter how much he longed for it to be, it just wasn't. And he knew Sakura. He knew how she'd react. She'd probably cry. It was always him who made her cry. Always. It was always his fault, but it wasn't like it was something he did on purpose. Though, regardless, it still made him feel guilty.

Sasuke approached the bench, that bench. The one he'd left Sakura on the night he left the village all those years ago. He sat down and ran his only hand down his face, trying to come up with the right words to tell her, when before he knew it, he could hear the 'tap tap tap' of her foosteps approaching. She seated herself quietly next to him. "Well? I'm here. You said you wanted to talk to me about something," her voice was soft, hands planted against the bench as she stared down at her feet. "So, what's this all about? Are you going to tell me now?"

Sasuke turned and looked at the pink haired kunoichi and he felt something shift inside of him. Sakura had always been his weakness, and even now she was making this harder than he thought possible. Here he thought he had it all worked out exactly what he had planned to tell her, and now he was at a loss for words. "Sakura. I'm not quite sure how to tell you this, or how to even really bring it up, so I..."

"You're leaving," Sakura stated knowingly. No change in her tone whatsoever, but those brilliant, emerald eyes were now turned on him. "That's why you wanted to meet me here at this bench, right? It's the same place you left before."

"I... yeah. I'm not leaving until tomorrow morning though, but I felt I needed to tell you before I left. There are just some things I have to do. Something that's really important to me, but I promise you, I will be back," he told her, staring right back at her with his mismatched eyes. He was grateful to see that there were no tears in her eyes. In fact, there seemed to be a fierce understanding, which shocked him.

"I understand, Sasuke," Sakura told him in barely above a whisper, and she reached one hand out to lay it on top of his own, casting her gaze downward. "Go do what you need to do, just... don't leave without saying goodbye, okay?" Her eyes glanced up at his once more, and while they were filled with emotion, he was relieved to see that there were no tears. His heart pounded heavily in his chest. He was grateful, appreciative that Sakura could understand why he needed to do this. It showed just how much she had grown over the years. Instead of screaming at him not to go, she accepted that he needed to go.

"Will you wait for me?" he asked her, flipping his hand over to clasp ahold of her fingers in his own. "Please, Sakura?"

"That's all I've ever done is wait for you, Sasuke. For years, I never gave up hope. I never stopped waiting, and I won't stop now. I never... stopped loving you," Sakura admitted, turning her head away from his to stare back down at her knees and Sasuke's heart lept into his throat. "I just wish things were different. I just wish we could be together now."

"Sakura. There are things I need to do before I can take that next step with you. If you wait for me, when I get home, things will be different. I just have a lot of stuff to figure out first, stuff about me. I have things I need to see, things I need to do. I can't really explain it myself, but it's a journey of redemption. I have to cleanse myself. I have to fix the wrongs I have done, not only to others but to myself," he attempted to explain and squeezed her hand a little tighter. "Things haven't changed between you and I, but when I get home, they'll get better."

"I believe you, Sasuke and I believe in you. I'll wait for you. I promise I will. Before you go tomorrow, your arm should be ready, so meet me in front of the hospital," Sakura released his hand and unlaced her fingers from his own. He watched her as she stood up from the bench and smiled down at him, but he could tell the smile was forced, and his heart clenched in his chest. "We'll say a proper goodbye tomorrow. Until then, goodnight, Sasuke."

And with that, the female medical ninja was walking away from him. He watched her back until it disappeared in the darkness of the night that had fallen over him. And now he felt ready. Ready to go and see the world with new eyes, with new impression and continue to brighten this new path he had taken with not darkness, but light, by seeking forgiveness and finding redemption.

~End