This story is unbetaed, so any mistakes are mine. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Buffy sat in the tub, enjoying the hot water and steam relaxing her aching body. Who knew resurrection was so hard on the muscles? Of course, it may have had something to do with the way she was brought back...

"Ow! You're pulling, Buffy."

Dawn had asked if she could stay and then promptly sat down with her back against the tub. Buffy had been absent mindfully toying with a lock of her long, brown hair while she soaked and she gave a start when she realized how hard she was clutching it now. She released it and rested her hand on the side of the tub.

"Sorry, Dawnie. I guess I'm thinking too hard."

Dawn spun around on her butt and hugged her knees to her chest

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked innocently.

"I just don't get why I'm here again. Is there some new big bad trying to open the Hellmouth?"

"No, I mean… There's your usual demons and vampires. But Spike and the Scoobies seem to be handling it. I think, maybe, they just -"

POP POP POP POP

Buffy splashed water over the sides of the bathtub as she quickly sat up. Dawn held a placating hand out to her as if to calm a wild animal.

"That's just Spike." Buffy sagged with relief.

"What is he doing?! Is he remodeling or something?" The popping sound kept going in sporadic bursts.

"Uh... No. He has a punching bag in the basement. I told him I couldn't hear it upstairs. I didn't want him to feel bad."

Buffy sank back into the warm water. The new household arrangement seemed a safer topic than what her friends had done.

"So… Has Spike been taking good care of you?"

"Yeah, he has. It's true, Mom assigned him custody. She wrote me a letter. At first it seemed really weird, you know? I mean - my guardian is a vampire. But then I thought, what's weirder? Oh yeah, I'm some kind of dimensional key." Dawn shrugged. "Spike and Giles are helping me research that - my origins. Mostly Spike but Giles recently. They weren't really on good terms at first but Giles settled down after a few arguments. He found some stuff about the monks that made me but he's going to have to go to England to get some special book that might reference more. You'd think it was the original Bible the way he's talking about it. But I guess maybe the trip is postponed now that you're…"

She knew she was babbling, but her sister was staring blankly at the wall and seemed to be paying more attention to the sounds coming from the basement than to what she was saying. Dawn really wanted Buffy to be ok with Spike, so she just kept trying to talk over it, finally trailing off as she became more aware of the actual volume of Spike's stress-relief than she had been in months.

Buffy finally met her eyes.

"The neighbors haven't complained?"

Dawn grinned.

"We told them we were remodeling." The sister's laughter echoed against the tile and they both realized the noise had finally stopped.

"Well, I can't say I'm not glad there's a punching bag in the house."

"You're really okay with this? I mean -"

"Scoobies incoming! All of them! Sound kinda pissed!" Spike's voice rang up the stairs.

Buffy and Dawn's eyes met, both sets wide and anxious. They stared at each other for a few moments until Dawn jumped up.

"Are you up to seeing them?"

Buffy quailed and hated herself for it. It was just her friends. But she had watched the ritual, had seen Willow doing things that were horrifying, while her soul was torn from heaven, and then when she was reborn no one had been there. They left her. In her heart she knew they mustn't have known she would come to in her coffin. But shouldn't they have known?

"Buffy?"

"Um… What?"

"Are you ready to see the Scoobies?"

"Not like I have much of a choice is there?"

Spike's soft knock came before Dawn could answer.

"They're still on the sidewalk, arguing. I'll ignore them but if they try to come in..." To Buffy's ears his voice sounded soft somehow, underneath the sharp edge. He didn't want to scare her, but he was desperate to lash out. She understood the feeling.

Dawn spoke up. "I'll be down in a minute. I still need to bandage her hands."

Buffy was really glad that Dawn was taking over right now. Dawn was glad Buffy was letting her, because her sister seemed oddly at a loss for what to do. She kept half expecting Buffy to have one of her 'leadership moments' and take charge.

"Let's get you dressed and bandage your hands. If they knock, I'll deal with it and you can wait up here."

Spike sat in the dark, on the stairs, flicking his lighter open and closed, open and closed, focusing on the snick snick sound and glaring at the door across from him. He could hear the Scoobies arguing on the porch stairs and waited for the moment that someone pushed him too far by trying to open the door. The whelp was in a right fit, having been by Buffy's grave and seen it disturbed, and the witches and Anya were trying to convince him that it wasn't worth hurting Dawn if Buffy wasn't here, and if she wasn't… right.

The only thing keeping him from tearing the door open and then tearing into the so-called Scooby 'friends' was the sound of Buffy's fast heartbeat and the hesitance in her voice when she said she had no choice but to see them. Nothing spelled something's wrong more than Buffy not turning to her pals. He was outraged by their audacity. To do a spell like that, to not consult Dawn or Giles or him…

Spike didn't know how long he'd been brooding - scratch that – thinking, until Dawn suddenly plopped down beside him on the stair.

"Are they still out there?"

"Yeah. Voices are quieter, though. 'Spect they're 'bout to leave."

Dawn sighed. "Do you know why they brought her back?"

Spike chuckled. "Your guess is as good as mine. How is she?"

"Kinda shell-shocked looking. I don't think the process was easy on her."

"Never is, luv. Death changes you. But you already know that."

"I do."

They sat in silence for a moment until the roar of engines starting sounded from outside.

"Do you know why they did it?"

"I think, maybe, they just missed her so much and couldn't see past it. I mean, I've been there. Buffy taught me that it was…selfish. I don't think..." She trailed off.

"What don't ya think, luv?"

"She's not exactly thrilled. And I don't think it was just because of the delivery system."

"Yeah, I got that."

"I'm gonna sleep in her room tonight. You gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, love. Suppose I better give the Watcher a call, though I've no idea how to break this kind of news. I gather he wasn't kept in the loop."

"No way. He'd never have let them go through with it. Well, I'm gonna turn in. Goodnight."

"Night, platelet."

Dawn clomped back up the stairs. When she reached the top she turned to look back down at Spike's tense shoulders and back. On impulse, she rushed back down and wrapped her spindly arms around him from behind.

"I'm really glad you're here."

"Me, too, love. Me, too."

Buffy sensed herself being drawn toward something and wondered at the sensation. Thus far, she had been unaware of anything resembling space or objects in this place. All she knew was warmth, and love, and peace. She wondered at her wondering, as she hadn't been aware of having thoughts in all her time here. She wondered at the concept of time.

With a jerk the slow drawing sensation became a strong pull, a tearing, as she felt her being separated from the warm place she had been immersed in. Before her she saw – 'saw? since when do I see? since when am I… I?' - a gate before her. She did not want to go through the gate. On the other side was something she once knew but had been freed from. The gate loomed large above her as her momentum gained and she tried to protest, but there was no protestation here. And then she was passing through she became aware of new - old? – emotions. Fear and doubt and oh god despair despair DESPAIR!

She opened her eyes and she saw familiar shapes below her, doing unfamiliar things. A girl… A friend… She was writhing on the earth and with horror Buffy watched as a snake slithered out of the witch's mouth and lashes from an invisible whip criss-crossed her arms and legs. Willow! Buffy tried to call out, she wanted to help her, to end her pain. She looked at the other three surrounding the girl and begged them to help but they stood by while winds buffeted them and they struggled to remain upright. And then she saw it and understood. The power object was glowing red and ominous and she felt herself being wrenched toward it, being drawn in and through and she screamed in terror as her essence funneled into it. Then she screamed in pain as she became aware of her rotted flesh regenerating and she would never forget the agony of feeling her dead body becoming alive in tortuous slowness. Now she could hear her own screams and her eyes snapped open. She tried to breathe but there was no air. It was dark and cramped and 'Ohgodohgod I'm buried!' Her arms flailed and she punched and clawed at the wood of the coffin…

"Buffy! Buffy, love, you have to wake up!" Spike shook her by the shoulders as he shouted. "Snap out of it, Slayer!"

Buffy's eyes flew open and stared unseeingly at Spike's anxious face and she struggled for breath. She couldn't think she couldn't comprehend the bloody scratches on his cheek or Dawn huddled on the floor clutching the side of her head. CAN'T BREATHE!

"What's wrong with her?" Dawn exclaimed.

"Panic attack. Thinks she's still in her coffin. She needs air. The window." He gathered Buffy's trembling form in his arms as Dawn sprinted to open the window just in time for Spike to leap through it onto the roof. He leaned against the wall and laid the Slayer across his lap, gently brushing her hair away from her flushed face.

"There, now, sweetling. Just breathe. Nothing but open sky. You're free. You're safe."

Ever so slowly Buffy's breath began to even out as she stared at the stars above her. Awareness came back into her eyes and she moaned.

"Oh, god. What was that?"

"Just a nightmare, love."

Her gaze shifted from the sky to Spike's worried countenance. She reached up and lightly touched his cheek.

"You're hurt. Did I…?"

"Nothing to worry about. 'Ts already healing."

Buffy sat up abruptly and gasped "Oh no, Dawn!"

"I'm fine." Dawn's voice came from behind her and she turned to see her sister sitting on the roof with them, a bruise already forming high on the side of her head.

"Just a wallop upside the head. Nothing permanent."

"Oh, Dawnie! I'm so sorry! I didn't know that would happen."

Dawn scooted closer to give her sister an awkward one-armed hug as she steadied herself with one hand on the shingles. "Really, Buffy, it's fine. I was more scared for you than anything. What were you -" She cut herself off at Spike's sharp jerk of the head.

"We best be getting back in before you girls go tumbling off the roof and someone really does get hurt."

"Since when did you become Mr. Responsible?" Buffy asked with a smirk, relieved to have something to divert her dark thoughts.

"Bloody hell, don't call me that!"

She patted his knee and sarcastically reassured him. "Don't worry, you're secret's safe with me."

"You should see how he gets when I call him 'dad.'" Dawn grinned and leapt back through the window when Spike lunged at her with a growl.

"You watch yourself, missy! I know where you sleep!"

Despite the horrors of the night, Buffy couldn't help but let out a laugh at this strange family dynamic she now found herself in. Spike turned back to her and smiled, feeling joyful at the sound and oh. She realized she had never seen him with a genuine smile before. Yum, she thought, and the part of her heart that had felt numb and cold all night started to thaw. She wasn't used to thinking of Spike that way - liar - but she decided to welcome the feeling as he reached out a hand to help her back into the house. After all, who was she to question her mother's final request?