Chapter 6: First Month Back At Hogwarts

Sorry for the slow updates, I'm spending the summer at my parent's home in the middle of nowhere with no internet connection.

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Luna sat with her fingers steepled, shadows hiding the top of her face.

Looking at the reports sitting on her desk she frowned, some nameless faceless minion had shrunk Pluto. She'd liked Pluto. Pluto had been awesome. Now the muggles were say Pluto didn't qualify for planet status.

Well she'd see about that, she had a ten step plan for taking over the world and returning Pluto to its rightful place in the universe.

Step 1: recruit the brain A.K.A. the Granger

Step 2: give her books

Step 3: while she's distracted get her to make the plot

Step 4: seduce Harry…

Steps: 5-9 …. Do stuff.

Step: 10 Pluto restored to planet status

Granted the plan was still a work in progress, but she thought the outline was brilliant as it was, and her minions assured her that the plan was pure gold.

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Marietta Edgecomb hurried down the corridor her face locked in a visage of pure terror. Listening closely she could make out the faint chanting that the shadowy figures were producing as they followed her relentlessly.

One of us, one of us…

They had finally managed to corner the slippery Raven in an old section of the castle after a prolonged and merry chase, who'd have thought that out of the four houses their glorious leader's home would be the hardest to convert?

The Badgers were once again united under one banner, after a lengthy hostile takeover, the Slytherins had caved easily once Luna had taken a personal hand in the matter, and there were already several members of the Lions within the organization, but the Ravens were proving to be stubborn.

Apparently long exposure to the Lovegood charms had made them wary of their Glorious leader's plans.

"Join us, Marietta! Feel the power of the dark stuff!"

Marietta shook her head frantically as she huddled against the wall, "You're Hufflepuffs! You're not supposed to have secret cults!"

The robed figures surrounded the shivering Raven, "Join us, Marietta, join us, you're already one of us."

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Luna was in the midst of her daily six o'clock world domination plotting session when a faceless minion rushed in.

Faceless Minion Apple-Juice-Beta-64 threw himself onto his knees as soon as he entered the room. Interrupted the Divine Mistress was the easiest way to end up on a trip to Norway, "Glorious Leader I bring big new!"

Luna slowly turned her head from her current master plot and faced her newest minion. Giving him the Look.

Faceless Minion Apple-Juice-Beta-64 gulped, before gathering his courage and divulging his message, "Mad-eye is an imposter with an unhealthy obsession with our Supreme Leader!"

Just then Senior Faceless Minion Olive Juice rushed in blowing the door nearly off their hinges. "Glorious Leader! Mad-Eye Mood just entered Harry Potter into the Tri-Wizard Tournament!"

This statement finally drew Luna's full attention from her plotting. "Henchman Kreacher dispose of the imposter and explain to Uncle Moody how much it irks me that he let himself replace." Luna instructed the eager house-elf.

Ginny who had been reading up on the Tri-Wizard Tournament's history shot to her feet, "Luna! Wait!"

"Hmm?" Luna questioned her best Agent sunnily, postponing the Imposter's execution for the moment.

Wiping a bit of drool that had gathered at the corner of her mouth, Ginny gleefully showed Luna the results of her research.

Seeing what had excited her best agent, Luna found herself also having to wipe drool from the corners of her mouth. Showcased prominently in the book were snapshots of the three tasks through the ages. Drawing their collective attentions specifically were the glorious Technicolor renditions of the second task which was traditionally a water based event in which the incredibly fit wizards and witches wore skimpy outfits.

"Henchman Kreacher make sure our Supreme Leader makes it into the tournament." Luna stated absentmindedly, while perusing the historical textbook for more… information.

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As Harry walked down the corridor, he grinned at the cute Hufflepuffs that seemed to be following him around. Watching them giggle and blush, at such a simple action, made him feel like anything was possible.

Shaking his head, he rushed to class – after everything that had happened that summer he found himself constantly distracted by women, wondering if they were as… knowledgeable with foreign tongues as his new friends were.

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"Operation Lightning Rod is a success." Hannah reported happily, marking it off on her To-Do-List. Susan and Hannah had been tasked with following Harry around the school to make sure he didn't associate with… undesirable elements like the Gobstones Association.

Hannah shuddered, unable to believe there were still people around who were crazy enough to play such a gruesome game.

If the Glorious Leader, the Her Supreme Eminence Luna RIDICULUSLY-LONG-WIZADRLY-MIDDLE-NAME Lovegood had not enlightened her as to the true purpose behind the seemingly innocent game, Hannah shuddered once again; she might have been one of those seduced by the dark side of the Gobs.

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Hermione Granger was suspicious. She'd watched as her best friend had changed before her very eyes from a crippling shy introvert into an outgoing, gregarious and friendly individual.

As happy as she was for her friend a few of his recently acquired mannerisms were a bit worrying. His new habit of chasing anything with a skirt was not at all like her well-mannered friend of yesteryear.

She was bound and determined to investigate the causes for her friend's sudden behavioral shift.

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LUNA RIDICULOUSLY-LONG-WIZARDLY-MIDDLE-NAME LOVEGOOD! WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A SECRET CABAL YOU'VE FORMED—"

Ignoring Hermione's tirade and demands for answers, Luna calmly opened her knapsack and pulled out a carefully wrapped package. She interrupted Hermione's interrogation by tossing the package into her arms.

"Wha—?"

"It's all explained there," Luna said absently before going back to her intense inspection of the Quibbler issue she'd received that morning, there was something not quite right about it.

It appeared that some nefarious individual had changed the font from Lucida Calligraphy to Lucida Handwriting. She'd have to pay the goblins a visit soon, it was one thing to infiltrate the government and attempt to take it over but no one, absolutely no one at all messed with her font choices and was allowed to live.

Frowning Hermione gingerly opened the package… and her jaw dropped! There in her hands was a first edition chronicle of Gilgamesh's exploits by his personal court wizard; she'd thought they'd all been destroyed!

Shuddering in ecstasy Hermione inspected the cover of the book, after sniffing the spine of the tome like one would a high quality cigar, she carefully opened it. She held in her hands the holy grail of ancient Mesopotamian knowledge.

Glancing up from her completed inspection of the Quibbler, Luna asked her, "All good?"

"Huh?"

Luna nodded another vic— client hooked. Now if only Hedwig was as easy to bribe.

Of late the regal post owl had been questioning Luna's arrangements; she was proving to be difficult to sway, even bacon had not been enough to garner her complete loyalty.

Truly a consummate professional nothing would sway her loyalty from her human; recently Hedwig had begun dropping hints about shadowy puppet governments to her human in the form of Quibbler articles.

If only she wasn't such a valuable asset Luna would have already … persuaded her to see her side of things.

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"Hermione?" Harry asked worriedly.

When he hadn't seen his best friend in class, he'd assumed the worst and gone to the Hospital Wing to find out what was wrong with her but to his surprise Madam Pomfrey hadn't seen her either.

He'd finally tracked Hermione down to an abandoned classroom, and found her hunched in a corner absorbed in a dusty book.

"Wah?" was the garbled reply.

Now Harry found himself even more worried. He'd thought he'd managed to hide all the rare books this year. It had taken a two week quarantine to break her from her addiction the last time she'd gotten her mitts on a rare book.

"Hermione Jane Granger! Look at me!" Harry demanded in a stern voice. "What did we say to do if someone offered you a book shaped package?"

Looking up with a slightly guilty expression on her face, Hermione tried to explain. "But Harry a first edition!"

"Hermione." Harry repeated sternly.

Pouting Hermione, replied, "Say no."

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A/N Gobstones is a the wizarding version of marbles.

Originally this chapter was going to include the first task and the goblet of fire but then I realized that I'd already gone a month without updating so I decided to post as is, the next update will not take as long I promise…