Sorry I took so long to write this story again. Due to my friend who keeps bugging me about this I'm writing this again. This might or might not be the longest chapter yet, I RP a lot and no one has replied in and while and I need to type some to not be so bored. I hope you can deal with how long this might me. Thank you.

WARNING: This chapter will have self-harm and triggering scenes. Please read at your own discretion.
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'He loves me?' Izaya thought again as he slowly slipped into a light sleep. His hands slid up and curled into his blonde locks of hair as he dozed off. He felt his nightmares scratching at him, wanting to ruin his peaceful sleep, and they did. The nightmares were bad, like always. Though they were considerably worse now due to Shizuo being so close and easy to leave his side. His nightmares were of Shizuo leaving and of himself falling into despair, something that hadn't happened in a while.

His nightmare was nothing easy to deal with especially now since his father was in it. His father, well, parents, were never good to him. His mother had left a long time ago and his father always beat him bloody when he was a child, that's why when sometimes when Shizuo throws a punch he flinches, thinking that he wouldn't pull back like he usually did because he was running. Izaya shot up in bed and looked at Shizuo, who was snoring soundly, sleeping like a log. His arms itched, he needed to do it...

'I'm sorry,' he thought and easily slipped from the bed and grabbed a small brown box from the bed side dresser. He pulled out a razor from there and put the box back. Quietly and carefully he walked to the bathroom, razor in his right hand tightly. Gently he closed the bathroom door and sat down, pulling the bandages off his wrists carefully. He found a healed up spot and placed the razor there. Slowly he pushed it down, sliding it along his skin. It made his body shiver as pain slid up his arm. IT was so good yet so bad at the same time. His mind blanked out easily as he continued.

The cuts slowly got deeper and tears slipped down his cheeks as he continued. Blood welled up and dripped off his arm onto the tiled floor with soft dripping sounds, splattering in some places and some on his leg. He had somehow puled on some boxers in his hurry to get to the bathroom so those had a bit of blood on them too. His razor kept sliding along his skin, not knowing that Shizuo had most likely awoken to the smell of blood. His shoulders shook as he continued until his arm was covered in marks like before, them still bleeding.

Shizuo got up in a hurry when he awoke and noticed Izaya wasn't there and there was a smell of blood. "Izaya..." he whispered and went to the bathroom where the smell of blood was from. He pushed the door open and his heart broke at the sight. "Izaya," he said and Izaya flinched at his voice, dropping the razor from his shaking hand. He kneeled down and grabbed a towel, wiping up the blood then wrapping a clean one around his bleeding wrist. He hugged the other close as he began to sob louder. "Izaya..." he whispered, obviously upset.

Izaya just shook his head, crying into his shoulder. "I-I'm sorry, I can't stop my self..." he whispered, his shoulders shaking with his ragged breaths and sobs. Shizuo just shook his head and kissed Izaya's forehead. Gently he patted the wrist clean and got out the first aid kit. He put more ointment on it and wrapped it up. "I know it'll be hard to stop, but you have to try..." he whispered and hugged the other closely and picked him up.

It was obvious Izaya wasn't eating properly due to how light and skinny he seemed. "Let's go get you something to eat," Shizuo said and carried him downstairs to the kitchen. Gently he sat him on the counter and got out some stuff to make an omelette. Izaya stayed quiet, playing with his fingers so he didn't scratch his arm. Quietly Shizuo made two omelettes and put them on two plates and onto the table. He picked Izaya up and put him into a chair in front of an omelette. "Eat, or I'll force you to eat," he said lightly and Izaya just slowly nodded.

Izaya picked at it for a moment then took a bite. His stomach was growling, he was really hungry. Though he hadn't eaten a lot in the past few days, hating the feeling of fullness after eating. That made him feel big and fat, he hated it. He chewed a few pieces as Shizuo easily finished his own omelette and watched Izaya eat. "You have to eat more than three bites Izaya, please, if you don't eat you could starve," he said lightly and Izaya just slowly nodded, tears forming in his eyes.

"I-I hate eating... It make me feel so fat... Gross... and ugly... How could you like someone as ugly and stupid as me Shizuo?!" he said, sobbing quietly, his hand shaking, making him drop the fork. Shizuo softly shook his head and sat next to him now, rubbing his back lightly as he picked up his fork. He hugged him gently and kissed his cheek. "You're not fat, ugly, or gross. You're perfect the way you are. You're too light. If you don't eat soon you could die, please, Izaya," he whispered, hugging him close and rubbing his cheek lightly.

Izaya couldn't keep hold on the fork due to his shaking hands, so Shizuo took it and picked up a small bite for him holding it up for him to eat. Slowly he ate it, the process continued for a few minutes until a little over half of the plate was finished. "I-I'm full..." Izaya whispered lightly, taking one last bite into his mouth and swallowing it after chewing. "Okay, we'll have you eat later too, let's go watch some TV for now, that'll be fun," he said, smiling softly at him. He put the omelette away and picked Izaya up, carrying him to the couch.

He sat down with the other in his arms and on his lap. He turned the TV on and held Izaya tightly yet gently. Izaya began scratching ate the bandages without knowing it, making them bleed. "Izaya," Shizuo said worriedly, taking his hands and holding them so he couldn't do that. "You can't do that, if you do that they won't heal properly," he remarked, kissing his lips. "H-How can you love me like this Shizu-chan?" he asked lightly and Shizuo sighed. "Because even if you hated me or were any different I'd still love you," he remarked lightly, smiling at him softly.

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*A little later*

Izaya sat on the couch silently, waiting for Shizuo to finish with his shower. He tried to not scratch at his wrists and stared at the wall quietly.

Hey, worthless.

Izaya spun his head around and looked around, wondering where that voice came from.

I'm talking to you raven, listen, you should stop being an idiot. Who would love you? Shizuo? Ha! No way, now stop listening to him and start cutting like the worthless pig you are. Haha! You idiot, thinking he could love you back after so long? He's just pitying you, now get over yourself, stop doing idiotic things and listen to me. Cut yourself, you should die like the scum you are, the wold never needed you in the first place.

Izaya flinched at the words and began crying. He covered his ears and shook his head. "Shut up! Get out of my head!" He yelled, the voice chuckling deeply inside of him.

No, you shut up, you should've died that day! Die! Scum! Fag! Waste of space! Fatty!

Izaya began sobbing and shook his head. "No! You're wrong! Shut up! Leave me alone!" he yelled as Shizuo came out of his shower, dressed in sweats and a tank top. He looked at Izaya worried as his body shook violently. "Izaya?" he called out worriedly, going over to him. It was obvious he didn't notice the other being there.

Die! Idiot! Worthless idiot! No one loves you! Your parents even hated your guts! Go back to cutting you fag! You should've died!

"Shut up! Leave me alone! Get out of my head!" he yelled, shaking uncontrollably, shaking his head, wanting the voice to go away. "Izaya!" Shizuo said, placing a hand on his wrist. Izaya flinched and slapped the hand away, his eyes wide and afraid. Tears streamed down his face and he sobbed, the voice backing away. He covered his face and curled up, sobbing loudly. "Izaya..." he whispered, hugging the other close. He kissed his head and rubbed his back, trying to soothe him.

"T-This voice... It's so mean... It w-won't leave me alone... It keep t-telling me to k-kill myself..." he sobbed out, hugging the other back tightly. "I l-love you Shizuo...P-Please don't leave me..." he sobbed out and Shizuo held him tightly. "I'd never let you go, I love you too. Everything will be alright now..." he whispered, trying to soothe him. He kept sobbing for a while until they died down and he passed out from being so tired from crying.

A/N:
Well, that's the best I could do for now, my wrist is starting to hurt. Plus, I think I won't be able to stop thinking about classical music since I literally listened to it blasting as i wrote this. I hope you like this, please rate, favorite, and follow. Thanks~ Chapter 6 might be up soon, I don't know yet.