Hello cutie patooties! So... This is my very first attempt at writing Fairy Tail stuff and I'm a sucker for Lucy crack ships, so here's a little Bixlu thing because I'm trash. Please be gentle.

[Stay tuned A/N]

Enjoy~

It was a normal day in Fairy Tail. Bottles were being thrown across the room smashing to pieces against the wall, Natsu and Gray were fighting, Happy was trying to give Carla a fish; all in all a normal day for the Fairy Tail guild. Although Fairy Tail never needed a reason to party, the guild hall was one perpetual party, today there was a reason for the mayhem. Laxus and Mira had finally gotten together after years of denying their feelings and walking on eggshells around the other. Everyone in the guild cheered and congratulated the two mages, happy that their friends finally came to their senses. But there was one guild member that, though incredibly happy for his best friend and brother, was unable to fully participate in the festivities.

Downing the last of his drink, Bickslow sighed as he motioned Kinana to bring him another. From his seat at the bar he could clearly see each person around him and, although he was uncomfortable around so many people guild mates or not, he resisted the urge to abandon the first floor in favor of the peace on the second.

Laxus looked around the room and spotted his friend at the bar, looking like a lost puppy with his babies hovering above him. Making up some excuse, he left his girlfriend and sauntered towards the bar as Makarov was giving some big speech about his future great-grandchildren. Plopping himself on the stool next to Bickslow, he thanked Kinana for bringing him a drink and took a sip before he turned to his best friend.

"What the fuck is up with you man?" Laxus raised an eyebrow at the man. He knew exactly what was wrong with Bickslow, but he wasn't going to bring it up while they were surrounded by their nosey guild mates.

"I don't know what you're talking about, man," Bickslow mumbled, taking a big gulp of his own drink. "I am perfectly normal, thank you very much."

Laxus laughed. "Yeah, and I'm the king of Fiore. Seriously man, you gotta stop acting like a pussy and talk to her already; it's painful to watch this."

Bickslow grunted and swirled the amber liquid in his cup, avoiding Laxus' stare. He was deep in thought when he vaguely heard the guild doors open and close, only looking up when his babies zipped across the room to greet the newcomers. Hearing Laxus chuckle, Bickslow glared at his friend before turning to see where his babies went. 'Of course, they would go to her,' he grumbled to himself.

He wasn't sure when it happened, but as time went on Bickslow found himself drawn to the "Light of Fairy Tail," Lucy Heartfilia. Bickslow tried to justify it as a side effect of his magic; of course Seith mages would be drawn to a golden soul, they were extremely rare in the world. But he quickly realized that it wasn't just her soul that attracted him, it was her. She was called the light of Fairy Tail for a reason; Lucy was forgiving and kind, always putting her family's happiness before her own. Of course, she was physically attractive, but it was her personality that was the major factor. Before he knew it, Bickslow had developed deep feelings for the Celestial mage that he had only talked to a handful of times.

Lucy had just walked into the guild with Levy when she was suddenly caught off guard by five little totems zooming towards her.

"Lucy! Lucy!" they chanted cheerfully, hovering around her and occasionally rubbing against her cheek. Lucy giggled as she greeted each little totem with a kiss, causing them to vibrate with happiness.

"Wow, they really like you, Lu-chan," Levy observed, watching the little totems hover around her best friend. "Why is that?"

"Hmm, I don't know. They just started doing this every time they see me, not that I'm complaining; they're adorable!" Lucy grabbed all five totems and hugged them to her chest, giving them each another kiss.

Bickslow watched with a small smile as his babies cooed in delight when Lucy kissed them. Normally he would have been slightly jealous, wishing she were kissing him and not his babies, but he was happy that Lucy didn't shy away from them and showed no signs of fear or apprehension with them.

Laxus cleared his throat, catching the man's attention. "So are you going to talk to her or what?"

"Nah," Bickslow said, shrugging nonchalantly. "She's comfortable around the babies, I don't want to fuck that up."

"Honestly man, do you really think that you'd fuck it up?" Bickslow shrugged again. "For fuck's sake, she knows about your magic and if she doesn't have a problem with your babies, why would she have a problem with you?"

"Because the babies can't control a person just by making eye contact," Bickslow pointed out, gesturing to his eyes underneath the helmet. Laxus sighed.

"Whatever man, but if you don't call dibs soon, somebody else will," he said.

"Call dibs on what?" said a feminine voice behind the two men.

"What, what?" The babies echoed the last word.

"Nothing, Blondie. See you around, Bix." With that Laxus downed his drink and stood up, clapping a hand on Bickslow's shoulder before sauntering off towards Freed.

Bickslow watched helplessly as his friend walked away, leaving him with the source of his problems. 'You are going to fucking get it later, man...' he thought. Hearing a dainty cough, he reluctantly turned to look at the young woman now sitting beside him.

"What's up, Cosplayer?" He decided to act as if nothing was wrong, grinning widely with his tongue hanging out.

"I figured I would come say hi to you while I returned your adorable babies. And I am not a cosplayer," she uttered, shooting a glare at him.

"Oh, well hi," he said lamely. 'Oh nice, that definitely didn't sound awkward at all, dumbass,' he mentally berated himself.

"So," she started as she adjusted in her seat, one totem on her lap while the other four sat on the bar in front of them. "What are you calling dibs on?"

Bickslow said nothing as she gazed at his babies in wonder. 'They've never stuck to anybody like that other than me...' He mentally shook himself, and looked back at the blonde's face.

"Nothing really," he mumbled. "Well, Blondie, nice talking to you!"

Bickslow hopped off the stool and all but ran to the table where Laxus and Freed were sitting, all but one of his babies following. Dropping into the seat across from the two men, he groaned.

"So..." Laxus prodded, feigning innocence. "How'd it go?"

Bickslow glared at the man he called his brother. "Like you don't fucking know? I'm pretty damn sure you heard everything."

Laxus laughed loudly, "Oh man, that was so pitiful. It hurt just to hear that."

"Asshole." Bickslow kicked him under the table and the two began to bicker nonsensically while Freed watched with a thoughtful look on his face.

Lucy watched Bickslow practically run away from the bar with his babies following him, confused. 'Was it something I said?' she wondered. She felt something wiggling in her lap and looked down, surprised to see that one of Bickslow's babies was still on her lap.

"Why didn't you go with Bickslow?" She picked it up and sat it on the bar. It popped up and hovered in circles around her head.

"Stay with Lucy!" It chanted, rubbing against her cheek. "Like Lucy!"

Lucy giggled at the little totem's antics, giving it a kiss,

"Well, thank you. I like you too, cutie," she laughed. The totem cooed happily, sitting on her shoulder and nuzzling into her neck. Lucy spotted Mira walking towards her behind the bar and smiled at the older woman. "Hi, Mira!"

"Hi, Lucy," Mira greeted, smiling. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Lucy tilted her head to the side, not understand what Mira was asking. Mira giggled and pointed to the totem sitting on her shoulder. "Oh! I don't know, they started greeting me when they see me and this one decided to stay with me when Bickslow left."

"Hm, you know I've never seen them that way with anybody but Bickslow," Mira chirped, grinning at Lucy mischievously.

Lucy noticed the look in Mira's eyes, her match-making eyes as Lucy liked to call them. She quickly tried to dissuade Mira from whatever thoughts were running through her head.

"It's not like that Mira!" She waved her hands in front of her, denying any thoughts the Take-Over mage might have. "I barely even talk to him, so no way."

"But Lucy," Mira whined, "you would be so cute together! You're perfect for him, you know."

Lucy couldn't stop the light blush that warmed her cheeks and, unfortunately for her, Mira noticed it.

"Lucy..." She whispered conspiratorially, "Do you have feelings for Bickslow?"

Sighing, Lucy gave up trying to hide it from Mira and busied herself playing with the totem as she talked. "I don't know Mira. I've hardly ever talked to him, let alone spent time with him. Is it even possible to have feelings for someone you barely know?"

"Of course it is, Lucy!" Mira assured the girl, "Levy barely knew Gajeel, besides his bad side, and she still developed feelings for him."

The two looked towards the corner of the guild at the table where said bookworm was sitting next to the Dragon Slayer, reading. They watched as Gajeel let Levy lean against his arm, occasionally glancing at her when he though nobody would notice.

"I guess you're right Mira," Lucy conceded. "But they at least had some sort of traumatic experience between them to start the relationship."

"What about when you fought him during the Fantasia incident?" Mira suggested. Lucy shook her head.

"It's not the same, I beat him," she mumbled.

Mira hummed thoughtfully, "Well, I still think it would work."

Lucy groaned at buried her head in her arms, muttering, "Thanks Mira. Can I have a drink?"

"Sure! Give me one second and I'll get it for you," the barmaid chirped cheerfully and went about making Lucy's drink.

What most of the guild didn't know what that Bickslow could communicate with his babies; it was almost like Warren's telepathy. Because of this, Bickslow knew everything that was said between the two women. The totem with Lucy sensed that this conversation would be something that he would want to know and passed along all the information all while innocently sitting on her shoulder.

Bickslow was grinning as the conversation ended between Lucy and Mira. Laxus and Freed were looking at him like he was crazy, but he ignored them. 'So she has feelings for me,' he thought. 'Well that makes things easier.'

"What's up?" Laxus asked, looking between Bickslow and Lucy.

"I'm gonna talk to her," Bickslow said simply before getting up and walking back to Lucy, ignoring Laxus' "Fucking finally" comment.

The babies, sensing where he was going, zipped ahead to settle around Lucy as Bickslow made his way over.

"Lucy! Lucy!" they chanted. Lucy smiled.

"Hi guys," she said, patting them. "What are doing here?"

"They came because I was coming." Lucy stiffened slightly and turned to look at Bickslow.

"Hey," she said nervously.

"Hey," he replied, sitting on the stool next to her, watching his babies. "They really like you, ya know."

"I can see that," Lucy acknowledged, "Do you know why?"

"Hmm..." Bickslow smirked, deciding to tease the blonde. "Probably because I like you."

Lucy blushed and sputtered for answer, but came up with nothing coherent and decided to change the subject. Just then, Mira returned with her drink and winked at the poor girl before leaving to find her boyfriend. Avoiding his gaze, she sipped her drink before looking at the totems crowded around her. "Do they have names?"

'Nice save, Lucy, that didn't sound stupid at all,' she chided herself.

"Pap, Pep, Pip, Pop, and Pup," he answered, pointing at each totem. Hearing their names, the totems hovered in front of the two, doing little somersaults when their name was called.

"So they know who they are?" Lucy wondered, watching them.

"They know who they were before they died," he explained. "They aren't just mindless blocks of wood."

"I never thought they were," she told him. "They remind me of my spirits."

"Except my babies don't cosplay like you and your spirits," he remarked, giving her a tongue-lolling grin.

Lucy glared at him, but didn't bother to correct him. She knew that there was no way to get him to stop calling her and her spirits cosplayers, even if he was right about one of her spirits.

"So," she began, leaning her chin on her hand, "you never told me what you were calling dibs on with Laxus."

Bickslow wondered if he should tell her or not, but decided it was now or never. "You."

Lucy blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I was calling dibs on you," he said nonchalantly.

Surprised, Lucy turned her head and looked at Laxus who was sitting with Mira. She narrowed her eyes at him and he just grinned back at her, playing innocent. Lucy watched as he leaned down to whisper something in Mira's ear and Lucy's face paled when Mira looked at her with her match-making eyes on full force.

"Is that so?" she asked blandly, turning back to the man sitting beside her.

"Yup, I also know," he added.

"Know?" Lucy looked confused. "Know what?"

"I know you like me." Bickslow watched, amused as the blonde's face turned as red as Erza's hair. She floundered for something to say.

"H-How did you know that?" She finally got out. Bickslow pointed at Pip, the totem that had stayed with Lucy.

"I can communicate with them, you know," he told her, grinning mischievously. "I heard everything through him."

"Oh," she said dumbly. 'I should have known...'

"And so..." He trailed off.

"So?"

"Since you like me and I like you, would you go out with me?" He asked, his grin not once leaving his face.

Lucy glanced back at Mira and Laxus, knowing the Dragon Slayer heard what Bickslow just said. She watched in horror as Laxus smirked and whispered to Mira again. Mira gasped and shot her gaze towards Lucy, meeting her eyes and giving off an evil aura that clearly said "You sure as hell better say yes."

"... Okay," she agreed. She turned back to the man beside her and held up a hand. "On one condition, though."

Immediately, Bickslow's grin disappeared as he looked at the blonde warily. "... What?"

"You leave that metal contraption of a helmet at home," she demanded, pointing at the helmet covering his head.

"I think I can do that," he said, nodding.

Lucy nodded triumphantly, turning back to her drink and taking sips as she talked to the little totems.

Turning to Laxus, Bickslow grinned and, pointing at Lucy, mouthed, "Dibs."

Later on, Bickslow wondered if she knew that he had never agreed to willingly take his helmet off for something. He only ever took it off around people he trusted, and they were few and far between. But inside, he knew that he would do just about anything to make the Light of Fairy Tail happy and burn brighter.

What a shitty ending, I know. Believe me, I KNOW.

So if you've ever read any of my other things, you know that I primarily write Tokyo Ghoul fan fiction, but I wanted to expand my horizons, so to speak. My best friend got me into Fairy Tail and I've been obsessed since December. Don't ask me how or why, but crack ships became my OTPs even though I know they are in no conceivable way possible. And thus, this piece of trash Bixlu thing was written.

Please, please tell me what you think. I would love to write more FT stuff in addition to my TG but I have absolutely zero confidence. Review, PM, Tumblr message, I don't care. Just, please tell me. I am begging you. Even you hated it, tell me. Tell me why you hated it (in a polite way of course) an I will do everything in my power to get better.

As always, a huge thank you for reading and putting up with my shenanigans!

With love,

Lau ( ˘ ³˘)

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