Charlotte Potter has always been your average, sarcastic girl with a photographic memory, but when a small girl comes to the Dursleys, claiming that her mother is Charlotte's godmother, Charlotte and Harry are all too willing to leave. Join Charlotte and Harry as they venture through their first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Disclaimer: All rights of Harry Potter goes to J.K. Rowling.

—

Nearly ten years had passed since I, Charlotte Potter, and my twin brother Harry had been placed in this Muggle home by a Mister Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore and I was regretting every day of this household. No, I'm not psychic, I have a photographic memory.

It was my cousin Dudley's birthday and he and his friends were going to the zoo. You know, that big place with a lot of animals in cages? Me and Harry were being left behind as usual.

"Up! Get up! Now!" And that's my lovely aunt. Ever heard of her? Petunia Dursley, horse faced gossiper on 4 Privet Drive? Yup, that's her.

Aunt Petunia retreated to her country, known as the Kitchen. I found it worthless that I wasn't allowed to swear at all, so reverted to using the lat names of the characters of my favorite book series…The Mother-Daughter Book Club! Amazing book, you should read it.

Anyway, Dudley and his minion Piers Polkiss were about to leave, when the telephone rang. It was Mrs. Figg, calling to say that she couldn't take us. My eyes widened and I cackled.

"GIRL!" Uncle Vernon yelled. "We are still discussing where you will go! Do not get your hopes up."

Harry looked at me. I grinned in satisfaction. I could safely say that we were going to the zoo. Marjorie, Uncle Vernon's sister, hates us, Yvonne, Aunt Petunia's friend was on vacation, and the car was brand new, so we couldn't stay in it. So that left one option.

"We're going to have to take them," sighed Aunt Petunia. Dudley groaned and screamed, but he didn't get his way. For the first time, Dudley was sided against.

In the car, Uncle Vernon was complaining about newbies, my brother, women, me, motorcycles, and Harry and me. Mostly motorcycles. As you can see, Harry and I were some of his favorite topics. Note the sarcasm.

And of course, my absolute genius brother had the oh-so-wonderful idea to comment, "I had a dream about a motorcycle. It was flying."

Uncle Vernon turned purple. "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!"

I rolled my eyes. "Uncle Vernon, may I object?" My uncle and aunt apparently appreciated me making a fool of myself, acting proper.

"Yes girl, you may. What is it?" he asked suspiciously.

"I know that you are attempting to hide the fact that Harry and I are from another world, but you don't have to repress every mention of it." I decided to be sassy, yet smart so that I rebelled, but he didn't understand. It backfired on me.

"GIRL!" Uncle Vernon boomed. "I'll deal with you later!" Dudley and Piers snickered while Harry groaned. I only laughed.

When we got to the zoo, the nice ice cream lady asked Harry and me what kind of ice cream we'd like. We got cheap lemon pops, my favorite. So that backfired on the Dursleys. Ha!

After lunch, we went to the reptile terrarium. There was this large boa constrictor that I ignored, in favor on the cute baby turtles. I heard Harry speaking to someone, but I couldn't tell who. When I felt something by my foot however, I screamed bloody murder. There was the constrictor, creeping to the exit and Dudley was in the tank. The snake hissed, but I didn't understand what it said. Hiss, hiss?

The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong, sweet tea while he apologized over and over again. Piers and Dudley could only stammer, which was a first. As far as I'd had seen, the snake hadn't done much damage to "little Duddykins." Only scared him. Dudley was telling Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia how it had nearly bitten off his leg, while Piers was swearing it had tried to squeeze him to death. But worst of all, for Harry at least, was Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry? And it looked like Charlotte was encouraging it, right Charlotte?"
Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on the two of us. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, "Go — cupboard — stay — no meals," before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.
So we were starved and grounded. Great. What else could happen, Dudley gets a pigtail and we meet magic?

I lay in the dark cupboard much later, wishing I had a watch. Harry was asleep since he was too loud to sneak. I didn't know what time it was and couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, there was no way in Edom(1) I'd risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food.

At school, Harry and I had no one but each other. Everybody knew that Dudley's gang hated that odd Harry Potter in his baggy old clothes and broken glasses and that slightly insane Charlotte Potter with my strange stories and ideas, and nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang. But I would get revenge. Someday.

—

1: Mortal Instruments, anyone? One of the places in Hell?