A/N: I've seen a couple of fics with this premise before, but I didn't really feel any of them matched my ideal interpretation of the character. So I decided to make my own take on it!

Disclaimer: I certainly don't own RWBY. It belongs to Rooster Teeth.

Officers and staff members unfortunate enough to be in her way almost dived aside to avoid Glynda Goodwitch as she stormed down the corridor.

Her infuriating boss, Ozpin, had called her and asked for her to help him with an interview for a potential new transfer to Beacon. She had no idea why she needed to take time out of her exceedingly busy schedule when one staff member should have been more than enough, but Ozpin actually sounded oddly serious when he made the request, so she actually made the effort.

She would later deny cursing out loud when she found out the interview was taking place at the police station.

Nodding to the armed guard outside the door, she was let in. "Alright, Ozpin. I'm here. Now what ridiculous plan are you cooking up-" she blinked as she registered the appearance of their apparent prospective new transfer. The girl was very short, for one, and certainly came with an unusual colour scheme - wearing an odd tailcoat-corset mix in white, pink and black, with particularly unique hair - brown on one side, pink with white highlights on the other, and heterochromic eyes.

This was a description she had heard before.

From her students. Describing a battle for their lives.

"Ozpin," Glynda's voice was strained, "Did you honestly call me here to help you interview a girl who fought and may have attempted to kill one of our students on behalf of a criminal mastermind for our school?"

"Yes," Ozpin replied without missing a beat, his ever-present coffee cup in hand, "She says," he paused, "Well, she can't speak, so technically, she writes..."

"Ozpin," Glynda growled.

"She informed me that she intends to change her ways. Isn't that right, Neo?"

The girl gave an innocent smile, followed by quite possibly the least reassuring nod Glynda had ever seen from a living creature of any kind.

"And I am never one to turn down offering a second chance to those who have strayed from the wrong path," Ozpin finished with a nod.

"The wrong path?" Glynda sounded exasperated, "Ozpin, she likely tried to murder one of our students."

"Yes," Ozpin agreed, "And that is a serious charge. What do you have to say... or, rather-"

"Ozpin!"

"Yes, how do you respond to this accusation, Neo?" Ozpin asked seriously.

The colourful girl looked thoughtful for a moment, before nodding to herself and writing out a response on the whiteboard she had been provided. She held it up with a smile.

SHE STARTED IT

"Aha, I see," Ozpin smiled in acceptance, "There you go, Glynda. Miss Xaio Long clearly started it. We can not reward aggressive behaviour, can we?"

Glynda had thought she was used to the nonsense that often accompanied being associated with Ozpin, but for once she found herself lost for words.

"You... what... but..." she held a hand to her forehead, "Why do I bother? Have you even asked 'Neo' here about her motivation for leaving her life of criminal activity?"

Ozpin looked at Neo inquisitively.

The girl started writing again. She held up the whiteboard.

PAYSLIP - BOSS GOT CAUGHT

Then her eyes widened, and she quickly jotted down another sentence.

AND IT TOTALLY MADE ME WANT TO CHANGE MY WICKED WAYS

"Indeed," Ozpin nodded appreciatively, "Failure is quite the cautionary tale, is it not? Seeing the consequences of Mr Torchwick's actions must have made you strongly rethink your own lifestyle."

Neo held up the board again with a nervous grin.

SURE, LET'S GO WITH THAT

Glynda shook her head. "Well, I don't believe that for a second, but how about you provide some more context, Miss... Neo? Such as, perhaps, why you were a criminal in the first place?"

"Oh, yes," Ozpin nodded, "I would love to hear how a pleasant young lady such as yourself got involved in such horrible activities."

The girl looked stumped for a few moments, then brightened as she seemed to have a sudden moment of inspiration and the pen got to work again.

BECAUSE OF DISCRIMINATION

"Discrimination?" Glynda asked in resigned confusion.

YES

She scribbled again.

YOU SEE, I AM

She paused for a few moments for dramatic effect, then held the board up.

AN ICE-CREAM FAUNUS

"An ice-cream Faunus," Glynda repeated in monotone.

The girl nodded gravely.

TIMES WERE HARD

She gave a surprisingly convincing haunted look as she held up the whiteboard once more.

I STILL SEE THE WAFERS IN MY DREAMS

"Not many young people can live through such adversity and still have the moral fibre to admit they have made the wrong choice," Ozpin said with admiration as Glynda twitched. He looked thoughtful for a moment.

"And since you decisively defeated one of our more impressive students, I have no doubt that you have the competence needed to enrol at the academy," he took a sip of his coffee cup, "I see no reason why we shouldn't give you the opportunity to redeem yourself and become a productive member of society."

The short girl nodded happily.

"You can't be seriously considering this," Glynda hissed.

"I already filed the paperwork," Ozpin informed her nonchalantly.

She paused. "Ozpin," she began slowly, "If this interview was already a foregone conclusion, why on Remnant did you ask for me to come over and give my opinion?"

"Because I knew it would annoy you," Ozpin replied, taking another sip, "And I needed a way to get back at you for using up the last of the sugar in the staff room yesterday."

"You... you..." Glynda's trembling hand went to her riding crop, and Neo ducked under the table.

James Ironwood sighed from his ship window as he observed his old friend fly out of a building at high velocity and disappear off into the distance.

He shook his head, instantly recognising the tell-tale signs of a Glynda rampage. "You brought this on yourself."