Conclusion: Men Play Monsters

Bobby wasn't expecting them. Of course he wasn't. Last time he saw John, Dean, and Sam, they were at the hotel room, treating the boy for his shock and trying to wean him off whatever drug they put him on. And they all remembered how much pain he was in after the succeeded in that one, and how bad the leg was.

The hunter figured that John would keep Sam there for a while to help him recover. Then he learned the true reason John was staying: to kill any ring members that were still alive. He scoffed and came back home. Bobby definitely wanted those men to come to justice, but putting vengeance above Sam's health was such a turn off that he elected to return home.

So, it was quite a surprise when the three of them showed up on his door step that day. He immediately invited them inside and told them all to sit down, but John gave a different order. He told Dean to take Sam up to the spare bed and have him lie down.

That just left John with Bobby, and that was quite the talk. John got worked up when Sam came home from the store upset, so he went and found the person who supposedly upset him. Then, he did the unthinkable and he shot the man and killed him.

Bobby asked if Sam knew, and John just stared at him. That was a useless question to ask. When it came to Sam, John had his own filter. He chose to believe what he wanted, and if he wanted to believe that Sam didn't know, then Sam didn't know. That method didn't always correlate with reality, but it worked for John.

After that, John told him he was leaving. He was going for a hunt in Indiana and he'd be back in a week.

That was two weeks ago. The boys stayed with Bobby and John Winchester hadn't returned yet.

The three that were left had varying responses. Bobby was pissed off at John for leaving, but not surprised. Dean was choosing to be worried over angry; maybe his dad was hurt on a hunt, not just avoiding them. Sam…well, he didn't have much of a reaction. To anything.

"I got you a grilled cheese," Bobby said as he walked into his living room. Sam was sitting there on the couch, watching the mid-day news. He jumped slightly at Bobby's voice but reached out and accepted the sandwich with a "thanks." Bobby sat down next to him and stared at the TV.

The anchor ran through the sports from start to finish and started on a recent drug bust in a nearby city before Sam actually picked up his sandwich and began to eat. Even then, after just one bite, he spoke. "Where's Dean?"

"Outside working on a Camry," Bobby replied. "You want him?"

Sam shook his head.

There was something else lingering between them though. Bobby knew that this was a long shot, but he asked the question anyway. "Did you want to talk?"

Much to his surprise, Sam nodded. Bobby reached for the remote to turn off the TV, but Sam moved it away from him. Guess he wants something to stare at while he talks, Bobby noted. Sam refused to look at him in those few moments, but he did finally part his lips and speak.

"Dad's away on a hunting trip, right?"

"That's right."

"Did you expect him to be gone this long?"

"No," Bobby confessed. "He said he'd be back in a week."

"Why do you think he's gone so long?"

"I'm sure he's not hurt," he said quickly. "Your daddy's the most skilled hunter I know. I think…it's how he's coping with this. It's how he's gonna make himself better."

"I don't get it."

I don't get how a father could leave his kids either, Sam, he thought.

"I don't get…how he finds comfort in it."

Okay, that wasn't where Bobby expected Sam to take this conversation.

"I know that there are monsters out there hurting people all the time," he said, very slowly and deliberately. "And hunters save people from terrible things and death. But I don't think that's why my dad hunts. He's too selfish."

Bobby wanted to protest, to say that Sam shouldn't say things like that about his dad, but he understood that family wasn't always good to each other. And, truth be told, John could be a selfish prick.

"I think he hunts because he likes killing. And I don't see how anyone can enjoy that."

"This is all because of what happened when you were escaping, isn't it?" Sam was surely asking because he grabbed a gun and blew a man's brains out in order to save Dean. He didn't even need Sam's nod to know that that was exactly what he was thinking about. "It's easier to disconnect when it's us vs. them. They're evil, and we're good. That's what we tell ourselves, your dad included. It's what we have to say to justify what we do."

"What's the difference between us and them? Us and monsters?"

"Monsters…are complete evil. 100% of the time, they're out to hurt us."

"And 100% of the time, we're out to hurt them," Sam countered. He looked over at Bobby, finally showing the conflicted expression he wore to the seasoned hunter. "Do they actually deserve to be killed?"

"Let's focus on your specific situation, okay, Sam?" The boy could get so philosophical sometimes, and that was okay sometimes, but what he needed was to come to grips with what happened to him. "You're saying that maybe we're monsters, and they're not. After all that, with them kidnapping you and forcing you to fight in a ring with wild animals, do you think they were evil?"

Sam could tell that Bobby was trying to lead him into some sort of trap, but he obviously couldn't deny how horrific all those men were. "…They were evil," he agreed slowly.

"Okay," Bobby nodded. "Then you, who took one evil man out of the world, did something good, right?"

Again, hesitation, then a nod.

"So you shouldn't feel guilt. I'm sure it was a hard thing to do, but you saved your brother and all those other victims from going back in the ring."

"It wasn't hard." Bobby looked away from the news and gaped at Sam as the teen shed a single tear. "Bobby," Sam continued, staring long and hard at the TV. "As soon as I saw that guy collapse and die, I felt...relieved. Happy. What kind of monster am I for being happy that I just ended someone's life?"

"Sam…he was…"

"Evil. I know. But he was still human. I was glad he died. That's wrong. That's…"

He could see where this was going, and he didn't like it one bit. "You think that you're evil, because you were happy to see him die?"

Another tear slid down Sam's cheek. "Sam, no." Bobby lifted his hands and set them on the boy's shoulders, turning him so that they were facing each other. "You listen to me, Sam Winchester," he began. "You are anything but evil. You're a good man, Sam—one of the best I know. You did what you did to save another good man—your brother. And you were relieved to see that your family didn't die. That's what you felt when you watched that man die, boy."

Slowly, light began to return to Sam's eyes. He certainly wasn't accustomed to getting praise from his father, and Dean was just a kid too in a lot of ways. He didn't know what Sam needed all the time. It drove him crazy, but that was the truth.

The front door suddenly opened, and within ten seconds, a grease-covered Dean was standing in the doorway. "Bobby, you got any-" He stopped short when he saw Sam lift his hands and wipe away those tears. "Sam?"

"I'm fine. …Bobby's sandwich had too much mustard."

Both Bobby and Dean felt their jaws drop. Did Sam just…crack a joke?

"Well excuse me, for not making it the same way Dean does, princess," Bobby joked softly, moving one of his hands to ruffle Sam's bushy hair. "What do you need, Dean?"

"Nothin'. I'm done with the Camry."

"I'll come and see what you done. Sam, you wanna bring that pitiful sandwich outside and watch us work?"

"Yeah. Okay."

"Good man." Bobby turned off the TV and walked out a while, leaving Dean standing in the doorway and Sam wiping the last of his tears.

He wasn't sure what happened after that, since he purposefully left to give the two boys some privacy. He checked out the car Dean fixed up and wondered if this was a major breakthrough for Sam. After grieving for so long, it was time to cope with it all and keep moving forward.

Within a few minutes, Sam and Dean were both coming out. Dean had his hand on Sam's shoulder in a way that wasn't so much restricting as it was comforting. The elder brother may have been slightly upset that Sam opened up to someone other than him first, but it came with the territory. If Dean heard any of that talk about Sam being a monster, he would have been totally heartbroken. Bobby could tell by their expressions that Sam didn't reveal everything, but it was enough to give Dean some firm reassurance that Sam was, finally, on the upswing. Not only was his leg nearly perfect now, but he was ready to step into a new day.

"Boy, you missed a screw here next to the engine," Bobby called, waving Dean over.

"Seriously? How'd I…"

"Distracted, I guess," Bobby filled in. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sam sit down on the hood of a nearby car and watch them. He leaned over the engine and spoke quietly to Dean. "You okay?"

"I am now that he's better. He'll tell me everything someday."

"Are you mad he came to me first?"

"No. I understand it…he's seen me worry over him so long that he didn't want to make it worse by dumping whatever it is on me. I don't like it, but I get it. I just want him to get better, Bobby. That's all."

"Then let me tell you," Bobby said. "He's better." Dean's shoulders slumped in relief, and Bobby ended the chick flick moment. "Now hurry up and go get that wrench so we can finish this up, idjit."

*…*…*…*…*

As Sam sat on the hood of the old '62 Mustang, he heard Bobby call to Dean and ask him for a specific kind of lug nut and a wrench. Aside from the two of them working on the car, all he heard was the sound of a stray cat going through the area, meowing at the two of them for making too much noise and disturbing its rest.

Such an ordinary life. But outside of the boundaries of this repair yard, both Bobby and Dean had their fair share of kills. And they never felt any sense of regret over any of it.

Sam began to wonder, then, why that was. Why could they kill and feel nothing, while he felt nothing but regret? Did that make him weak, or did that make him human?

And, if regret was what made him human, what did that make Dean and Bobby? And Dad? Monsters?

If killing and feeling glad made them monsters, then he supposed that there was only one conclusion to reach.

I guess, he thought ruefully, we're all monsters sometimes.

*…*…*…*…*…*

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who followed this story! It certainly took a different turn than what I was originally imagining, but I think it turned out good (and if you're reading this far, I'm guessing you agreed :P). Thanks for all the support and reviews. I don't have any more stories on the horizon right now, but keep an eye out. I'm sure I'll write another Supernatural fanfic another time.

Signing out,

Peanut.