Chapter 18

"I understood myself only I after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was." Sade Andria Zabala

JJ watched as they took Emily into another room. It hurt, but she knew that it was the best thing for her. She thought that Emily flying that soon couldn't be good and now, she was right. As soon as they landed she was medi-vaced to the hospital. The ride to St. Mary's was quiet for all of them. Only Amelia and Emily went in the helicopter.

JJ was pacing. Elizabeth was watching her. Garcia and Hotch didn't know what to do. They were at the mercy of time and the doctors. Reid and Morgan watched the room and couldn't help but think about the last time they were in the hospital and Emily was behind doors. Rossi sat down and watched the team. He could see them start to unravel.

"She isn't going to die," he said quietly.

Reid and Morgan sat next to him. They were freaking out. It wasn't hard to miss.

"She's going to be fine," Rossi told them all.

"Yes, she will," Elizabeth added.

"Once she's stable, we can go back to Winfield House. It won't do any of us any good to be here and not rested. She will fine. I have been assured that the best doctors are working on her."

"I'm going to stay," JJ told them.

"I'm staying," Garcia added.

"I'll take you up on that offer," Hotch stated.

Everyone looked at him. He had to believe that she would be fine. But, he also understood that Elizabeth was trying to help them all. He stood up and started walking towards the door. Rossi stood next and joined him. He turned around right before he got to the door to tell them something.

"She would want us to take care of ourselves and work the case. We still need to get with Easter and give him what you found in Germany. Emily is fine. She isn't going to die. She is going to need our help. We need to solve the case. The more information that we can give them, the faster they can take down the cell that was buying that equipment," Hotch told them.

"I'll go with you," Reid said, joining him.

"I'm in," Rossi added. "She needs us to do this. JJ, you'll be fine here. We'll call you if we have anything you might need to know. And, you better call us if something changes."

"You're right," Morgan replied. "Let's go find something useful. I'm tired of sitting."

They left the hospital. Garcia and JJ took up their vigil in the waiting room. Garcia was holding her hand again. She couldn't think about it. She didn't want to think about something happening to Emily. She couldn't fathom not being able to play online scrabble with her.

"Something else is bothering Elizabeth," Garcia stated.

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't see the way she hovering around Amelia and Emily. Even Diana seemed to be on edge. There is something going that we don't know about. I don't like it."

"Do you think that it has something to do with the case?"

"I'm not sure. Jayje, do you think something is wrong? Is it Emily?" Garcia asked.

"No, it isn't Emily. She's fine. I think it just because Elizabeth, Emily and Amelia are together for once. They don't know how to deal with each other yet," JJ replied.

"You think?" Garcia quipped.

"Yeah, that is one strained family. They need time together without a case involved. They just need a big family hug. They'll get through it, Garcia. They are all Prentisses by the way."

"That they are," Garcia replied.

Later that evening, Amelia was sitting in Emily's room. She was just watching her sleep. It was a hard thing to do. She knew that Emily was a fighter and that they would figure out who the leak was. They would solve the case together. They would figure it out. They had to.

"Amelia?"

"I'm here."

"Any new leads?"

"No, not yet."

"Any ideas on what to do?" Emily asked.

"We need to hide. If they know who you are, they know where to find us. I have a family to protect. We can search from anywhere. We need to go and we need to go soon."

"I understand that, but the FBI team isn't going to leave without knowing that I'm okay. I need to be released. I need to get out of here. Once I am out, we'll go somewhere. I still have some bogholes in place. No one knows about them."

"How am I supposed to get you released?"

"I am St. Mary's, right?" Emily asked her.

"Yeah, you're Mom insisted that you come here."

"Good, ask for Doctor James McThomas. He'll help you. Get him to get me released. He'll write the scripts to get me out. We'll go back to Winfield and stay with Mom for a minute. It will give me enough time to convince them to go home. Once they are gone, we'll leave. Can you do that?"

"I will do anything that I have to for Diana and Charlie."

"Then, go find him," Emily said, blinking hard. "No, I'm fine. We've got to go and you know it. Just get me some damn pills. We need to get out of England."

"I'll be back soon," Amelia told her leaving the room.

Emily lay back in the bed. She sighed. She knew what she was about to do was going to hurt JJ and the rest but she had to do it. She had to protect them by disappearing. They would go home and they would be safe. That is what she wanted. They were part of her family and she had to protect them as much as she had to protect Elizabeth, Amelia, Diana and Charlie. They were her life now. She had to protect them all. She would hurt. She would be in pain, but they would be safe and right now, that was all that mattered.

"Forgive me, JJ, but this is to protect you all…again."

At Winfield House, Hotch and the team gathered in the war room. They were going over the intel that they had about the Palestinian terror group. Morgan was pouring over everything. He wanted to hurry and get the paper work done. He knew that they had to help with the case and he figured that the faster that he did that, the faster he could get back to the hospital and check on Prentiss.

"I know what you are doing," Reid told him.

"What's that, Pretty Boy?"

"We are all worried about her, Morgan. But, I don't see how rushing this will help her. I am not sure I understand the need for us to be doing any of this," Reid told him.

"What do you mean?"

"We didn't solve the case. We didn't even find her. Amelia did all that because of her background and the chatter that she deciphered. All we did was follow the trail of a group of mad men trying to blow up Jews. That didn't do anything for Emily," Reid replied.

"It may not have done anything for Emily, Reid, but it did plenty for the world and the Middle East. We helped stopped a terrorist cell. We got more intel on their mentality and what they are looking for. That will help Interpol, Europol, and other agencies around the world. It will even help us at home in counter-terrorism. You don't see that as a win?" Morgan asked.

"I do, but I don't. I am not sure that they were even looking at Prentiss. Nothing in their movements suggests that they were. We know that Ibrahim infiltrated them to get closer to her, but why? How did he know that she was there? Nothing about his involvement with the group makes sense. I think Emily, Amelia and JJ know that. I think that there is more to this, but I just can't see the pattern. It's there. I can feel it," Reid explained.

"You want Prentiss to look at what we got?"

"Of course, I do. She can always see the one thing that I can't. She could always help me find the pattern even though it was right there. She knows why she was taken, I think. I just don't know why she is not telling us. Do you think that she meant for it to happen?"

"No, she didn't," Rossi added finally joining in.

"I don't mean like she planned it, Rossi. I am just wondering if she knew that she was going to be taken and that is why she separated herself from her team. Could she have sensed something was majorly wrong with the operation and done something to make sure that weren't that many causalities?" Reid questioned.

"It sounds like something Prentiss would do, but there is no evidence that she knew. Amelia also acted like someone possessed. She hid what she knew long enough to get to Emily. That doesn't sound like they planned that. It sounds like something went horribly wrong and they were trying to cover ass quickly."

"You don't think that Amelia had anything to do with this, do you?" Rossi asked them.

"No, I don't. She is too much like Emily. She would sacrifice herself before she let any harm come to her perceived family," Reid replied.

"Her perceived family?" Hotch asked, turning to face them as he put down his pen.

"Yeah, her perceived family. She knew that Emily was her mother and Emily didn't know that she was the daughter that she had given up. Elizabeth confided in the truth to Amelia and Amelia agreed that it was safer for Emily not to know. It also showed in the way that she sent her partner and daughter to stay with Elizabeth. She trusts Elizabeth and Pettigrew with her life enough to go into the fray and possible die. But, she knew that Diana and Charlie would be taken care of. JJ found out that Emily drew up accounts that would go to her and Henry if something should have happened to her while she was in the field. I am not saying that they were planning on dying. I am saying that Amelia did the exact same thing that Emily did. She planned out the worst case scenario and made sure that her family would be provided for, cared for and safe. This included the team. Clyde only sent Mac to tell us and work with us. Amelia had her existence erased so that she could move about the world more freely to find Emily. All of this combined, it is a martyr's mentality. She knew something was wrong and she was willing to die to fix it. The question we need to be asking ourselves now, is what was wrong?" Reid stated.

"Do you have an answer?" Hotch asked him.

"I haven't a clue. I also know that Emily isn't going to tell us if she knows. It is too close to home. She will protect that secret. It has something to do with the Prentisses, I am sure. But, none of them are going to talk to us. We aren't going to get the information. For them, the case is closed. We've done our job. We should file the reports and go home."

"What do you want to do, Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked.

"I want to help them if we can, but I know that Emily isn't going to ask us for it. She is going to continue to look for answers with her contacts. Amelia may even go into the field to see what she can find. Unfortunately for us, we don't have the jurisdiction to do anything here. Emily and Amelia know that. Clyde knows that. Our hands are tied," Reid explained.

"You think she is sending us home to protect us?"

"I don't know what to think, Hotch. I can't figure out why Ibrahim knew she was there. If we knew that, then we could follow something. But there is no evidence to explain it. He joined that cell on purpose. He brought the Tahrif with him. Everything on him and his situation dictates that he used the cell for his own endgame. The problem is we don't know what that endgame was," Reid told them.

"What if the endgame was Emily?" Rossi asked.

"How do we protect her?" Morgan questioned.

"We do what we can. We report what we know. And, we keep a look out on Elizabeth and Emily. They are still American citizens even though they are living abroad. We will do what we can, but we can't investigate the way we want to."

"Hotch…"

"Look, Morgan, I understand your worry, but we can't. For one, this isn't our case. For two, we can't stay here. We need to get back. Now, that being said, the jet will be ready to leave this evening. Do what you can until then. Also, make up an investigation parameter that will allow you to check your hypothesis, Reid. We may not be able to look into things fully from here or at home, but at least we'll be on top of things should something arise. And, we'll keep this to ourselves."

"What about JJ?" Morgan asked him.

"I'll brief her about it when we get home. I am sure that she'll have something to say about it. Right now, she is too close to the situation. We all are, but…she went in there and faced Ibrahim down. We've promised not to keep secrets about intel like this. I am going to hold her to her word. You should to. If you do find something, let me know immediately. But, for right now, work up your reports on what we did and what we know right now. I'll hand those over to Lilly for Interpol to process. Then start on your own thoughts. We deal with those once we get home."

The next morning, JJ was back in the hospital room with Emily. It had been a long night, but they managed not to argue. JJ had fallen asleep in the chair near the window after Doctor McThomas had come in done rounds. He'd told Emily that she could leave in a day or so and this seemed to calm her down immensely.

"You going back with the team?" Emily finally asked once they were both awake.

"Yes, I will. I know that you are going to be okay. Doctor McThomas and I had a long talk last night. He assured me that you would be able to walk out of here tomorrow. I just wish you would understand that I am worried about you and I care about you," JJ replied.

"I do, JJ."

"Then, why don't you want me to stay?"

"Because you need to go home to Henry. You need to spend time with your parents. You need to go have your vacation. If I know Hotch, he told you that you could take some time and come back to check on me in a few weeks, right?"

"He did."

"Then, come back to London. I'll show the sights this time. We'll hang out. I prove to you that I am better and you won't have to see me in this hospital."

"Promise?"

"I promise, JJ. I am fine. But, I don't want the fact that you have a strained relationship with Henry on my part. I know what that does to a kid. Go home to him. Make sure that he is okay and love him. I'm okay."

"He'll want to talk to you," JJ told her.

"Well, tell him that his Aunt Memly is okay. I'll send him something outrageous to prove it. He'll love it."

"I am going to hold you to it," JJ replied.

"Good, now go. Hotch told me that the jet will be here later today. Go take a shower and a nap. I am not going anywhere. Hotch will bring you all by before heading to the airport later. Go home, JJ."

"We'll talk about everything when I come back?"

"Yes, JJ, we will. I promise. I'll tell you everything."

"You'd better. I'll hunt you down if you don't. You now I can," JJ warned her.

"I know, sweetie. I know. And, I hope that you don't have to even use those skills again. I'm home. I'm safe. I'll be fine. Now go take care of yourself," Emily told her.

"I'll see you before we leave," JJ said.

Emily watched her go. Her heart breaking with her every step, but she knew that she couldn't tell her truth. She wouldn't put JJ or Henry in that kind of danger. She knew that JJ would try to help. She knew what she would do and she couldn't give her that option.

She smiled at them just after four o'clock. They had all come to the hospital to tell her "Bye" and "Get well soon." She noticed something in the eyes of Reid and Morgan, but she dismissed it not wanting to see it. She knew that Reid and Morgan were troubled by the case. She could see it on their faces in Amman when she woke up. She just hoped that once everything was over that they could forgive her for running and hiding.

As soon as they were all gone, Emily told Elizabeth their plan. It wasn't solid, but Diana and Elizabeth had already been briefed by Pettigrew and Amelia that morning. Doctor McThomas came back in with a bag of medication and a couple of shots which he gave Emily.

"They'll help for a while, but if you get dizzy or light headed…" he started to warn.

"I know, Jimmy. I'll get help. I won't be alone."

"It isn't you being alone that I am worried about."

"I am not going to die."

"Not today, Prentiss, not today," he muttered.

"Be careful. Find the bastards and come home to me. All of you," Elizabeth told them outside the hospital.

"We'll be fine, Mom. I promise. Just don't do anything stupid. Keep working and act like nothing happened. The more you continue your routine the better off everyone will be," Emily told her.

"I love you," Elizabeth said, grabbing her into a fierce hug. "Come home to me, daughter. And, bring your family back. I'll be waiting. I'll send word through channels where to find me. I'm retiring at the end of the month."

"I know, Mom. I know. I love you, too. Take care."

"Love you, too, Grams," Amelia told her, giving her a quick hug before leaving her standing there with Pettigrew.

"They'll be safe, right?"

"Those two? Oh, yeah. I feel sorry for whoever crossed them. They are going to be in a world of hurt and no one and nothing will be able to protect them. They are stubborn Prentiss women. They won't stop until the threat has been neutralized," he replied.

Three weeks later, JJ was in Clyde's office at the London Interpol offices. She was mad. She was furious. She hadn't had any contact from Emily in two weeks. Not a word, not even a scrabble game, and she'd flown eight hours on a red eye to find out that there were no records of her being in London passed the day that JJ left London weeks ago.

Clyde sat down behind his desk. He knew that the blonde was furious, but honestly there was nothing he could do about it. He sighed and waited.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know," he replied.

"She's gone?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"She left shortly after you did," he told her.

"Why?"

"They'd been compromised. She thought it was for the best to go into hiding. I don't know where she is. I don't know who she is with. Hell, I don't even know if Amelia is with her," Clyde answered.

"And, Elizabeth?"

"We've tried. But, she retired. She's back in DC."

JJ pulled out her phone. She dialed the one person that could help her now. She needed answers.

"Office of supreme knowledge. Whatcha need, Kitten? I thought you were supposed to be in London on vacation," Garcia replied.

"I am."

"What's wrong?"

"She's gone."

"Gone?"

"Find her PG. Find her. I'll be home as soon as I can."

"I'm on it. Do you want me to call Spence and Derek?"

"No, not yet."

"I'll get you the first flight I can. I'll text you the details. Just calm down, JJ. We'll find her. We always do," Garcia told her.

"That's what I am afraid of…"

"Running away from fear is fear: fighting pain is pain; trying to be brave is being scared. If the mind is in pain, the mind is pain. The thinker has no other form than his thought." Alan Watts

A/N: This is where I'm ending this story. And, before you freak out on me, yes, there will be a sequel. I am working on it now. You'll just have to be patient, but this is where this story ends.