SIX | Kissed You and Made You Cry

~*Lucas*~

The Wynters' houseboat would've looked empty if it weren't for the faint glow of a candlelight coming from the small kitchenette area. I peeled off my converse sneakers and tucked them under my arm, making my way quietly on the dock.

I could hear the faint music coming from inside the cabin and paused briefly. It probably wasn't the best idea to be where I was. I caught a glimpse of her shadow and took a deep breath. "Knock knock!" I hollered in a friendly tone.

Jaiden's head popped out from the back door and I swear her eyes lit up momentarily. "Lucas, hey." She breathed and held out her hand to help me onto the houseboat. My jaw clenched at the smooth feeling of her hand in mine. "What brings you here?"

"I figured I'd find you here." I smiled softly and made my way inside the houseboat cabin, following her to a small table set up. "I uh, I sort of stopped by the apartment first and Kennedy was there and she started crying… I'm sorry."

Jaiden bit her lip and shook her head. "No, don't be. It's where I'm supposed to be staying so yeah, why wouldn't you check there first."

"Dumb question but will you two be okay?" I asked, scratching the back of my neck.

"I really don't think so, no." Jaiden shrugged and let out a deep sigh, rubbing a hand on her forehead.

"I'm sorry about kissing you." I whispered and sat down on the end of the breakfast nook counter.

"I'm not." Her eyes stared at me with an emotion I couldn't even put into words. "I'm," she let out a small laugh before running her hand through her hair, "I'm just sorry about the situation."

I chuckled slightly and raised an eyebrow. "It was bound to happen. You're six years older than me so why wouldn't you have an amazing woman you're going to marry?"

"Well that amazing woman deserves better." She gave me a tight smile and pushed away from the door. "Did you want to go for a ride?" Jaiden was already out on the side of the boat, untying the ropes from the docks. "We haven't done this in so long."

"Since the last time when you dropped the anchor too close to shore and got hooked onto the pipe underwater?" I teased and helped her with the ropes. She chuckled and gently shoulder checked me. "Are you sure we should be doing this? It's late."

"We have a permit to anchor down off the docks, it's okay." Jaiden winked and jumped back onto the deck and made her way to the wheel, starting the engine. She turned to look at me with a raised eyebrow, "last chance before this vessel leaves…"

I bit my lip and hopped back on the boat and used my foot to guide the vessel along the side of the dock as we backed up. She gave me another wink and turned her attention back onto the dark lake where she safely guided us further out before deciding to anchor the boat.

Things felt like they were normal for awhile. There was no talk about the kissing incident and she asked me very valid questions about my choice of universities. I had been accepted to more than just York but because my mom went there and I had a full ride with a hockey scholarship, it just seemed more fitting.

"But you want to do art as well, correct?" Jaiden asked as she handed me a glass of ginger ale and sat down on a small sofa across from the chair I was slouched in.

"Of course. I do have a couple of art classes so that's cool. It's a compromise for myself. I love hockey and I love art so this is neat that I actually get to do both." I shrugged and sat up a bit to take a sip of the bubbly drink.

"Good, I just want you happy." Her voice was soft, her eyes bold and bright staring at me. Then she dipped her head to look closer at me. "You are happy, right?"

"Are you?" I countered and leaned forward a bit, taking my snapback off and placing it by my phone and sunglasses on the end table.

"Obviously not, right? I mean, I should be at home trying to repair my relationship but I don't even know if there's anything to repair." Jaiden almost let out a whine and threw herself back on the couch, her hand dramatically over her face. "My parents are going to kill me when I tell them I'm not getting married."

I swallowed and sucked on my bottom lip, eyebrows furrowed. "This- this isn't because of me, is it?"

Peering through her fingers, Jaiden stared at me. Then she sat up slowly and looked down, almost guiltily before reaching her hands out to pull me out of my chair and to her. I swallowed as her fingers wrapped around the glass of my drink and placing it next to hers, guiding my body to sit next to her. "I would do anything for you, Luc."

I fought back tears that threatened to spill because that moment was so overwhelming. It was so raw and she was looking at me the way I had imagined she would since I knew what it meant to have a crush.

"Jaiden…" My voice shook unevenly though I meant to say her name in warning tone. It didn't come out as threatening as I had hoped but instead her name dropped like a prayer - before I could catch my breath, she was cupping my face between her hands and kissing me.

The kiss wasn't hurried or frantic. It was slow and tentative. I could feel her hands brace the back of my neck, tugging me even closer. My hands were clutching at her shoulders for balance, feeling the heat of her skin beneath my palms. Her breath washed over my lips before she reclaimed them again gently.

I was so lightheaded and let myself go because it felt all too right to just stop - even though I knew I should. I knew it wasn't a good idea to swing my leg over and straddle her lap, pressing closer to her as the kiss that started off slow, became increasingly heated. Her hands trailed down my back then up again, dipping under the collar of my flannel shirt and coaxing it down my arms.

I knew it wasn't a good idea to have my shirt tossed to the side, giving in to the kisses she was placing along my neck. But this was a moment I'd only ever fantasized about and Jaiden was more than I could ever imagine. "Lucas." She whimpered into my ear when I finally allowed my hands to move down the front of her chest and before I knew it, my back was on the couch and she was hovering over me, kissing me until I needed to pull back and catch my breath. Dark blue eyes brewing like a storm of desire while she looked at me and it was like she was unlocking everything I had ever felt.

Then it happened. Her left hand came back up to cup my cheek, the coolness of her engagement band pressed lightly against my skin. I swallowed and shook my head, clearing the hazy fog of lust before wiggling my way from beneath her body. "Oh my god." I muttered and Jaiden moved to stand up immediately.

"What's wrong?" She asked, frowning in concern.

"This...this is all wrong!" I managed to stutter out because my heart was still reeling from everything that had transpired moments ago.

"Lucas…" Jaiden tried to grab my hand but I pulled away immediately.

"I'm not this person. I'm not. I can't be." I picked my shirt off of the floor and quickly tugged it over my bikini top because I felt too exposed all of a sudden.

"What person?" She tilted her head and I could see the confusion written all over her face.

"I don't get involved with practically married women...fuck!" I panicked and moved onto the back deck of the houseboat. I scanned the small skyline of the town straight ahead, the waters dark and inviting.

"I- Lucas, I'm so sorry." Jaiden made her way up behind me and I felt her forehead rest onto the nape of my neck very lightly. "I'm scared too, you know." She barely whispered, her hands squeezing my hips gently before I felt the cold air against my skin as she moved back, giving me space when I tensed up.

"I was never scared." I turned around and swallowed the thick lump in my throat. "Not for how I really feel but this," I motioned between us and shook my head, "I can't. Not like this." I spun back around and before I knew it, I was diving into the dark lake, making my way to shore without a thought. I could hear her screaming my name before sobs could be heard in the quiet distance behind me.

Once I was at the docks, I pulled myself up and collapsed, staring up at the sky. What another eventful evening I was having and yet I experienced the same heartache once again.

By the time I made it back to Rapture, Momma was already waiting patiently at our regular booth. She stood up as soon as I stepped inside and frowned, sensing something wasn't right. I was soaked from head to toe so that was her first clue.

"Everything okay?" She wrapped me into a hug and that was when the tears came. I clutched onto her while I could feel everyone's eyes on us. She cupped my face and gave me a sad sympathetic smile and asked if I wanted anything to drink.

"We should get home, it's late." I finally managed to wipe my eyes and swallowed when Chase came up and gave me a hug as well, almost as if she knew the reason why I was crying.

"It's a big day for you tomorrow." Chase smiled warmly and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Promise you'll stop in for one last early morning coffee?"

Both women studied me before I nodded, "of course."

"Come on kiddo," Momma wrapped a secure arm around my shoulder, "let's order some ice cream and head home."

The drive home was quiet and Momma didn't ask me any questions. Throughout the years, she knew it was best to remain silent until I was ready to speak.

"I kissed Jaiden," I finally whispered when Momma turned off the car in the driveway. I could feel her staring at me but I stayed focused on the dark lake ahead of me. "The first time was a couple of days ago and then tonight."

I could feel her sputtering over her words silently. It was never a secret how I felt about Jaiden but no one expected anything to come of it; in either party. Not that a lot was coming out of it. I had kissed Jaiden; I had made out with Jaiden. Knowing how she tasted, what she felt like with her body against mine, her breathy sighs and tender touches-

"God, I'm such an idiot!" I huffed out loudly but knew better than to kick inside of my momma's precious mustang.

"Hey," she wrapped her arm around mine and pulled me closer, placing a kiss on my temple. "It may not have been an ideal thing to do but you're not an idiot."

"She was getting married." I closed my eyes and tried to will the threatening tears away. "Why does this have to hurt so much?"

Her brown eyes softened and she cupped my face gently, "you are in love and being in love with someone you can't have is one of the hardest things to deal with, no matter what age."

"Like Aunt Carmen being in love with Mom?" I snorted lightly and she rolled her eyes but grinned. "Can we not talk about this when we're inside?"

"It's not my place to talk about any of this. I respect that you're an adult and this is your life." She glanced down at our sundaes. "Why not finish these first, then go in? I don't feel like sharing right now."

I chuckled softly and nodded. "Thank you."

~*Jaiden*~

"What the fuck is that?" I muttered lowly as the guitar opening for Crazy Train blasted through the small houseboat. Rolling off the bed, I moaned into the floor before pulling myself up, squinting toward the seating area where the noise was coming from.

Glancing at the clock above the small bar, I muttered a quick 'fuck me' at the time staring back at me: 6:00am

There on the end table was Lucas's phone and its alarm buzzing loudly. I switched it off, taking in the fact that she had also left her sunglasses and favourite snapback as well. Scrambling to grab my own phone, I noticed I had a few missed calls from my parents and one text from Kennedy that read 'I'm okay'.

"Fuck." I muttered once again and glanced out the window where the sun was already above the horizon of the lake. I shook my head, free of the cobwebs that etched their way into the memories of the night before with Lucas.

Pulling myself together, I got the boat ready to head for shore and docked it at its designated spot. After tying it up securely, I grabbed Lucas's things and made my up the street to Rapture, politely nodding my head to the city workers on the way by, as they watered the plants along the sidewalks.

I knew my parents would be up, prepping the kitchen for another long day at the diner so I avoided going through the main floor and hopped up the fire escape, using my key to get in on the second floor. I didn't want to answer any questions they would throw at me as to where I was and what was going on.

Not yet. I needed to figure things out for myself before I could give them an honest answer.

I stood at the apartment door, staring at the peeling wood with my heart pounding a mile a minute. Trying to swallow the thick feeling in my throat, I cleared my throat and unlocked the door, expecting to see Kennedy sleeping on the couch like she normally did when I was out late.

"Ken?" I called out while closing the door behind me and stuffing the key back in my pocket. There was no movement in the apartment. It was empty and that was when I noticed Kennedy's suitcase missing from the foyer. "Shit," I cursed and pulled out my phone to see her text "I'm okay" staring back at me.

Quickly making my way to the bedroom, I saw a folded note on the bed and inhaled deeply. With shaky hands, I opened it:

Jaiden,

A part of me would like to say I'm not surprised that things ended this way but I can't. I am downright shocked, hurt and angry. I don't know what changed between us but I know that I can't enter into a marriage with you, knowing that I'm not everything you need - or everything you want.

Have a nice life and thank you for the happiness you did share with me.

Ken

Kennedy deserved better and it wasn't something I was saying in order to make myself feel better - she truly did. I went about things the wrong way and I could blame it on the fact that my feelings for Lucas hit me in the middle of nowhere, but that would be a lie. I just buried everything down because I knew better.

Yet I didn't.

Because I just cheated on Kennedy, not once, but twice with Lucas Carlin. On top of that, I hurt not just one person but two, by acting selfish.

"Fuck!" I hissed again and placed the folded up note in my pocket, deciding against a quick shower.

Running down the stairs and into the kitchen area of Rapture, I ran into my mother, scaring the crap out of her. "Jesus, Jaiden."

"Sorry." I mumbled and moved around her but she caught my wrist and tugged me back to look at her. I embraced myself for the onslaught of questions but she just blew a strand of blonde hair out of her eyes and swallowed. "What?" I asked, somewhat weakly and instead of answering, she pulled me into a hug, squeezing me gently.

"Oh, my two favourite ladies embraced in a hug." My other mom came from the front of the diner, tucking a pad and pen into her apron, enveloping us into her embrace. "I love a good old Wynters hug."

I wanted to melt into my parents and stay in their cocoon of love forever, but I didn't deserve it. Not at that moment.

"Kennedy thanked us for our hospitality before she left about an hour ago." My mom cleared her throat and tilted her head to look at me when she pulled back. "Her leaving didn't have anything to do with why Lucas was upset last night, is it?"

"Chase." My momma scolded her quietly but I could do nothing but shrug.

Mom sighed right back before holding my gaze. "Jaid…"

"I need to drop these off to Lucas before she leaves," I wedged my way out of the parental hug, holding up a phone, snapback and sunglasses.

"You'll be pitching in for half the fees I won't be getting back on this wedding that isn't happening, Jaiden Victoria Wynters!" I heard my mom yell.

I stopped in my tracks and turned around. "Look, I understand the mess I am in and the mess I made. I understand what I need to do and I promise you won't have to worry about the fees, okay?"

"Jaiden!" I heard my momma yell before a rough, "Jesus Chase, it's called tact, use it."

I tuned out their argument and exited the diner. The drive to Keewatin was rather quiet and I wasn't sure what I should say or do, once I was faced with Lucas.

Or if Lucas would want to be faced with me to begin with.