A/N: Well this is it! The grand finale. The thrilling climax. The farewell performance. The pièce de résistance. The crowning glory of- ...you get the idea.
But first, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone that has stuck around for this long. Whether you've been following for a while or if this is your first time reading, I can't express how grateful I am for you deeming this little drabble of mine worth your time. I've had a blast writing it and greatly appreciate every Follow, Favorite, and Review. Stay awesome y'all!
And, (I'm gonna plug my other fic one more time for good measure, haha) if by any chance you happen to want more whatever you wanna call this series, you can check out The Everyday Misadventures of Earths' Mightiest Heroes. (Also a big THANK YOU to all my readers on there as well :D) It's similar to this series but not limited to just the shenanigans of Clint and Thor. And you can also learn how this series came to be on chapter 25.
I know you didn't click on this story to hear me blabbering so I'll get on with it. *raises a glass of lemon-aid* Here's to you, my wonderful readers! For one last time... Enjoy :)
The day had arrived.
"What did you get me?"
Bruce remained silent. Tony moved on to Natasha.
"What did you get me?"
"You think I'm going to tell you?" Natasha challenged.
"What did you get me?"
Thor laughed. "It is a surprise, Stark! Have patience."
"What did-"
Steve groaned. "For crying out loud, Tony, you're acting live a five-year-old."
The Avengers were busy getting the Tower ready for Tony's party but the birthday boy had other things in mind. Finding out what his present was as you've probably guessed.
Tony huffed. "Fine."
Clint resisted the urge to grin as he unrolled red and gold streamers.
When the guests began to arrive, Tony momentarily forgot about annoying his teammates. Instead he annoyed Rhodey and Pepper, trying to figure out what their gifts were.
Pepper just grinned. "Trust me Tony, you'll find out soon enough."
The other Avengers gathered off to the side, murmuring among themselves. This was it.
"May I have your attention please," Clint began.
The chatter slowly died out as everyone turned to face Barton. Tony watched with an eyebrow raised as Clint smiled.
"I just wanted to take a moment and thank you all for coming out to celebrate the birthday of Tony Stark," Clint paused to the applauds to die down. A few people standing near the billionaire slapped him on the shoulder but he just kept watching Hawkeye.
"And so for this occasion, my fellow teammates and I have put together a special something…"
Tony watched curiously as Steve set up a projector screen.
"This little montage was several months in the making. It started out with just Thor and I but it grew over time" Clint grinned wildly at Tony's confused expression. "I hope you enjoy watching it as much as I did making it."
Clint joined Natasha, Steve, Thor, and Bruce off to the side. The archer pulled a remote from his jacket pocket and hit 'play.' The screen lit up, showing the picture of young Tony dressed like Captain America. The crowd "awwwed" in unison. Then it began counting down in the old-fashioned movie way.
5
"No turning back now," Bruce murmured.
4
"Relax Banner," Clint smiled. "This is long overdue."
3
Steve snorted and Natasha whispered. "That's a slight under-statement".
2
"Shhh!" Thor hushed.
1
The screen portrayed Tony walking up to the podium for his clean energy speech. The sound of applauds flowed from the speakers as Tony took his place. Meanwhile the real Tony was trying to figure out what in the nine realms was going on.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I want to first of all thank all of you for your support in my quest for a brighter, greener tomorrow." Then he smiled, showing off his dark green-tinted teeth.
Tony's eyes grew wide and laughter erupted all around the room. He brought a hand to cover his mouth. His teeth had been green? Two words flashed onto the screen in bright red, capital letters:
STARK FAILS.
Oh boy.
The scene cut to Tony trying to lift Mjolnir of the Nutella jar with his Iron Man suit, a crow bar, and the Force, then flashed to him falling to the ground when Thor said 'hold this'. Thor's wink to to camera made everyone laugh but it was nothing compared to their reaction of Tony blasting a spray painted smiley face and yelling "BORED."
His reaction of when he'd thought he'd ruined Steve shield was next followed by a 'behind the scene' clip of Clint slipping in one of Coulson's replica shields. Tony's befuddled expression at Steve and Thor's tech savvy-ness played in a similar fashion. Clint giving a thumbs up to his hand held camera showed that he'd been communicating with them via earpiece.
"Well that explains a lot," Tony thought.
Next played his yell of anguish when the Hulk beat his high score of Candy Crush. Tony cringed. He still wasn't over that.
All the while, Iron Man's rendition of "Everything is Awesome" played in the background.
The laughing got quieter during Tony telling his plans about Ultron to Pepper only to be shot down. It later turned into cringes when it showed her enraged with green hair and then repulsor hair.
"ANTHONY EDWARD STARK, I GLOW IN THE DARK?"
Rhodey leaned over to Tony and whispered. "I'm surprised you made it to your birthday."
"Ha. Ha." Tony brushed aside, a little scared at what would show next. It was his impressions. Tony couldn't believe how naive he had been. All the party goers doubled-over from laughing so hard and Stark's face turned as red as the decorative streamers.
"Go green, go green, go green!" On-screen Tony yelled, followed by more green puns. Then it came to him eating the prank food. The non-stop snickering was coupled with sounds of disgust as they read the captions that Clint added of what Tony was actually eating.
Iron Man mentally face-palmed as he turned from red to green at that gross memory. Of course it had been a collaboration…..
The scene switched one last time to Tony's speech. "Choose the smart way, choose the earth-friendly way, choose the Stark way… Choose the green way!" Tony realized his speech had been a hit. Just not in the way he thought.
Then came the finale. Tony's face went slightly pale as he watched himself place the gold star stickers on the sleeping Bruce Banner. Murmurs of confusion whipped up around the billionaire and he was wondering what the odds were of the ground opening up and swallowing him whole.
"O, say can you see, How Bruce is turning green…" Tony's version of the National Anthem started, but Clint did some tweaking, adding in an orchestra playing along and an American flag waving in the background. Tony had to admit that it was slightly epic.
"Oh say does that Star-Spangled Baaannerrr yet snoooreee! On the desk next to meeeee! Cause I guess, I am a boooooree!" Fireworks and a jet fly-over were added to the background for the big finish. The words STARK FAILS returned to the screen and everyone erupted into thunderous applauds.
Clint glanced at Tony in the crowd. The billionaire was giving a slow clap himself. He resumed his speech after the noise settled down.
"I thought you'd like to know that this whole endeavor started out as revenge for Tony not accepting mine and Thor's friend request on every social media sight ever. So this montage has been uploaded to every social media sight ever."
More applauds. Tony just shook his head, embarrassed but slightly pleased in a weird way that Clint and Thor went through so much trouble over making an idiot out of him.
"But all joking aside," Clint took on a more serious tone. "Tony Stark you are one of a kind, as the video more than proves…."
Tony rolled his eyes and motioned for Clint to hurry up. He had some choice words for him.
"…..but you are also a genius, a hero, an Avenger, and a friend." Clint grabbed a glass off a tray and raised it. "Here's to Tony Stark," he began a toast. "Here's to Iron Man!"
"To Iron Man!" Every one repeated. The applauds returned as The Avengers melted back into the crowd towards Tony. The billionaire wasn't sure whether to thank Clint for the speech or punch him for everything else.
"Happy Birthday!" The all chorused. Clint handed Tony a wrapped gift.
"It's from all of us," he explained.
Tony gave him a look. "I thought that delightful little montage was my present."
Clint grinned. "That was only part. You aren't going to kill me in my sleep are you?"
Pretending to think for a while, Tony finally answered. "Believe you me, I'll think of something worse," he grinned evilly. "But it may take a while to top that," he motioned to the projector screen.
Thor and Clint high-fived. Stark Fails had been a success.
"Who wants cake?" Pepper announced, wheeling in a delicious looking red and gold frosted layered cake.
"I'm just surprised you didn't rig my cake to explode." Tony added, cutting a piece.
The expert archer groaned and smacked his hand against his forehead. "Why didn't I think of that?"
Tony's birthday present from the gang had been two framed pictures. The first was the picture of him with his parents and the second was of the seemingly random selfie in the hall. Tony grinned at everyone's expression. Thor was in the back flashing a peace sign. Clint gave an over sided smile while giving rabbit ears to the unsuspecting Natasha while Steve looked on disapprovingly. Bruce just barely managed to make it into the frame standing next to Tony who was smiling but looked confused.
He knew exactly where he wanted to put these.
Slipping away from the party, Tony made his way down the tower and flipped on the light switch to his lab. His eyes slowly traveled over the familiar, messy space as more laughter echoed from above. He grinned even though his face turned bright red again. Oh, it's on Clint.
He sat down in his trusty swivel chair and placed the gifts on his desk among the other clutter.
Bruce knocked on the door frame. "Knock knock," he announced his presence. "You disappeared from the party."
Tony adjusted the pictures just so and replied. "Yeah, I just came to make sure all the cameras had been taken down."
Bruce did a nervous chuckle.
"Tell me," Tony stood up and slung an arm around Bruce's neck. "What do you think of the name 'Clint Catastrophes?'"
Bruce pretended to be in deep thought as they headed for the door. "Name's pretty original. But I think the concept is a little old."
"Yeah, you're probably right..."
Tony reached for the light switch and looked once more towards his desk. Oh yes, Howard Stark would most certainly be proud.
"... but I'll think of something."
~X~ THE END ~X~