Remus

Lily

Sirius

[Text sent from Lily Evans to Remus Lupin at 4:30]

Have you checked the account yet?

It's been fifteen minutes since you posted the pic, I highly doubt anything important could have happened…

It's not about that, it's about the dating site! It spit out a match today!

:/

Don't give me that. you agreed to go out with one person I chose from the dating site every month, you only got away clean by messing with the notification settings so I wouldn't see any matches.

No matter how many times you bring that up, I am not going to apologize for it.

Remus I stg I will personally have you de-balled if you don't at least message this person.

Oooh, they have a link to their tumblr, why don't you message them there, might make you feel more comfortable…..

I could even write the message for you, if you'd prefer.

Remus if you decided to ignore me right after I told you the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT NEWS I'VE GOTTEN ALL DAY I WILL PERSONALLY SEND THIS CHURRO TO THE LAND DOWN UNDER

alright, alright, I'm sorry

for the record I was taking a piss, so you can stop it with the threats.

Why do you feel the need to practically live-blog me your entire routine? Never mind, just, check your messages, okay? I sent you his url

HIS? Lily, we've been over this how many times?

Just trust me on this one, okay? He's s00per cute….

I can't believe you expect me to trust you after what you did to frank last week

I told you, that was an accident. Now go mssg him! NOW!

[Fanmail sent from overthemoonyforyou to whysosirius by a very anxious Remus Lupin at 5:15]

Hey, so I was going to comment on the pic you have of your family's abstract art collection, but then I saw your selfie face and I couldn't resist messaging you some scathing remarks.

Your not that friend of james's are you? Cause, if I'm being honest, I don't think I can handle another three-hour-long conversation about art and its influence on modern society.

…I can't tell if you're being serious or not…

I'm actually always sirius, believe it or not. But more to the point, are you or aren't you james's friend?

Seeing as I don't know anyone named James, I'm going to go with no, I'm not his friend.

oh

are you hot?

That's your first question? Am I hot?

Does that mean your ugly then?

You probably are. I bet you sit around reading all day in some posh boarding school or something

[Text sent from a very perplexed Remus Lupin to Lily Evans at 5:20]

Dear god help me I think I've made a mistake

What could you have possibly done now?

SO I sent a message to that url you sent me

and? and? Is he nice? Are you going to go out with him?umm, no. I'm really considering never messaging anyone you want me ever again. Hang on, I'm gonna send a screen-shot.

Did you get it?

It's really not that bad. I think he's got you quite pegged, actually.

LILY

the point is he insulted me. Can't you pretend to be on my side just this once?

Umm, no.

[Fanmail sent from overthemoonyforyou to whysosirius at 5:23 ]

I'm not going to answer that. I'm pretty sure no self-respecting Brit ever would.

You don't have to, I can use my imagination.

I'm betting really short and fat

with bright orange hair

and bad spots.

How long are you going to let me go on before you cave and send me a selfie to prove me wrong?

Try never.

Aww I can practically hear your frustration through the phone. reminds me of this puppy I had once that never listened, but always got really confused about why he was getting in trouble

Why are you still talking to me? I stopped caring what you were saying ages ago

Fine, I guess I wont talk you anymore.

good

[Text from Lily Evans to Remus Lupin at 8:30 am]

Remus

Remus

remus remus remus

What? It's too bloody early for this shit lily, just tell me whats up

Guess who got 15,000 notes on her latest post?

I'm guessing you since no one on my side of the phone answers to female pronouns.

Hardy har

But seriously

It happened and it's beautiful

Did you fall asleep again?

[Text from Lily Evans to Remus Lupin at 9:45]

I'm going to hope that you're asleep right now, not ignoring me, for the sake of your soul

I was asleep, okay?

chill

awful fast response for someone who was asleep…

Shut up, you. What was so fucking important you had to wake me at six in the morning?

Remus, it was eight thirty….

whatever, I forgive you. So the notes thing

the post may have you in it

Again?

Yes, again. The people love you, okay. They love us together.

Oh Lily. I don't like where this is going…what kind of together?

….together together

Really. And why would they want that?

I'm hot, your hot, together we're an inferno of sexiness. The usual

Can you at least tell me you discouraged this?

Are you asking me to lie, Remus?

God fucking damnit why do you do these things to me? I get like, two days a month to sleep in, and you chose one of them to wake me up early and tell me things you know I don't want to hear

Remus, come on. All I'm asking is that you be my tumblr boyfriend for a while

Then when the time is right I'll post some break-up song lyrics and some depressed quotes to get everyone curious, and then I'll write a post out with the entire story of our torrid romance that ended in heartbreak. I reach my goal of another 250 followers, and you get out of this relationship the easy way. Win-win.

How can you consider anything about this a win/win situation? More like win/remus lupin gets completely and royally screwed.

Oh, don't be such a drama queen. I swear it'll be fine, fun, and easy

…..

…..

…..

….

:/

You stop that now!

….

…

….

:(

Stop it!

…..

….

….

I stg lupin u ss

Okay fine

I'll do it

But you have to promise that every time you bother/wake me before ten for the next two years you owe me a chocolate bar.

…..

Fine.

[Kik from Sirius Black to R. Lupus at 12:00]

heeeeyyy

what.

Well, my friend James may have explained that some of the things I said to you on tumblr the other day may have been sort of rude…

Is this an apology?

Maybe

It could also be a thinly veiled attempt to get a selfie out of you

I'm going to pretend it's an apology because it's the better (and less creepy) of the two options

Speaking of which, how did you find me here?

I noticed you'd blocked me on tumblr, so I poked around a little and found you on a bunch of other sites

Figured I'd message you there till you accepted my apology

Fine, well, apology accepted.

Cooool, I guess I'll leave you alone then

I guess I'll unblock you

[Skype message from Padfoot to .5 at 3:50]

So your kind of cute

I'm sorry, who is this?

Oh, sorry, it's me

I mean whysosirius from tumblr

Are you internet stalking me?

…maybe a little

May I ask why?

Knock yourself out, but don't expect an answer

Didn't you promise to leave me alone?

I have bad short-term memory, you can't expect me to remember promising that

Right, of course you couldn't be expected to do something like remembering a promise you made three hours ago

Of course not

So anyway

Your cute

Please go away

Aww you don't mean that

No, I really, really do. Please leave me alone now

Only if you promise to send me a selfie tomorrow

Why

You said you'd seen me

Why would you want to see more?

Maybe I liked what I saw….

Plus you only have like, six posts on your account, and at least three of them were book quotes

I just want to make sure you actually have a personality

Haha okay whatever

Is that a yes?

Okay fine yes

Will you leave me be now?

Fine

But I want a promise that your sparkling personality won't go anywhere while I'm gone

I'll try, but I may forget by tomorrow.

Wow, good one, so mature

Goodbye "padfoot"

[Text from Lily Evans to Remus Lupin at 4:00]

Where is it?

Wut did you do with it?

Do with what?

Did you go off your meds again?

haha, Lupin, good one.

I'm serious tho

The messages you sent whysosirius

Where did they go?

uhh, Lily? Did you ever consider the possibility that I might have used my personal account to message him….?

Oh

It didn't

I just figured that, since I'm your best friend, you wouldn't have thought you had to hide that from me…

Lily, as much as I love you, do you really think I want to go messaging a guy on an account called EvaLupinKisses with you kissing my cheek as the icon?

I'm pouting rn

In case you can't tell

Fine, the next time I decide to sext a hot guy, I'll make sure to do it on the group account, okaay?

I guess I can live with that

I'm rolling my eyes rn

In case you can't tell

Boo you, whore

G'bye Lily

[Fanmail sent from overthemoonyforyou to whysosirius at 4:00 am]

I wasn't sure where to send you the selfie

It's like, s00per l8 don't judge

So I made the educated decision to send it to all the accounts I know you on….

It retrospect I regret that decision

I might just stop sending talking now and wait for you to wake up and be appalled.

[Skype message sent from .5 to Padfoot at 4:37 am]

Are you awake and appalled yet?

Are you?

[Kik from R. Lupus to Sirius Black at 7:00 am]

I'm thinking more rationally now and I want to apologize.

Can you message me back pls

[Kik from R. Lupus to Sirius Black three days later]

Okay, I'm gonna take that as a hint and stop messaging you

Blink once if you'd like that

yeah, okay, bye.