My Elusive Blue

Chapter 6

Summary: "When Kuroko's respected captain shows more than an appropriate amount of interest in him, how does the blue haired boy react? And how does one grasp a type of love that balances on the edge of obsession?

Rating: M for some possible sex scenes and sexual content in general. There may be some violence as well.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these wonderful characters.

Notice: English is my second language, so please bear with any minor mistakes!

Author's Notes: Pheeew, just finished my bachelor's degree and I am now looking forward to 2 months of vacation before I am going to start on my master's degree! Hope I will get more writing done in this period :)

This chapter will try to tie together what happened when the generation of miracles broke up with my own Akakuro twist. This is loosely based on the Anime/Manga, so please keep that in mind when reading! :) Also, I am currently working on another Akakuro project, which I hope I can show you guys soon. It will be an AU, I can tell you that much :)

Enjoy!

Despite Teikō's storming victory, the locker room of the winning team was terrifyingly quiet. It felt like a heavy blanket had shrouded all of the miracles – neither of them dared break the silence, and the tension only grew by the second.

The heavy atmosphere originated from the blue light of the team – Aomine Daiki. The dark male had not spoken a word since he got off the court, and even though he did not do much to attract the others attention, his aura alone told the miracles that something was terribly wrong.

You could call it a gut feeling between close friends.

The only one, who seemed rather unfazed by the hostile aura, was their captain, Akashi Seijuro. After all, it took a lot to faze their red haired captain. Certainly, a small dispute would not shake his unwavering mind.

However, the one to break the silence was in fact not their captain. It was none other than Kise Ryouta. Kuroko held his breath when the blonde approached Aomine with his usual laid-back attitude. The blonde was fairly good at hiding his uncertainty, but Kuroko easily saw through the model's façade – he was much more uptight than he may have appeared to less observant individuals.

"Aominechi." Kise started with a slight pouty face – trying to hide his insecurity behind humor. "What has gotten into you? There is nothing to be mad about; you did a fantastic job on the court!"

Kise went for a friendly pat on the back, but Aomine deflected it with a sharp motion of his hand.

"Scram, Kise!" Aomine barked back, not even turning to acknowledge the others presence.

"But Aominechi…" Kise insisted. "I know what we'll do! I'll take you out for ice cream, surely that will get you in a better mood!"

Despite the good intentions, Kise yelped when the dark male slammed his fist into the locker in front of him – Followed by another instance of heavy silence.

Aomine went for the exit with his characteristic displeased 'tch', and hands deeply buried in the depths of his pockets. He did not utter another word or acknowledged the blonde in any way.

Even Kise, who was normally persistent when trying to cheer someone up, stopped and simply watched as the dark male left the premises. After all, Kise was persistent but not stupid… Even he knew that following Aomine right now would only spell trouble.

"Who pissed him off?" Kise mumbled more to himself than the rest of the team, as he gazed worried after Aomine.

Kuroko stood in the corner of the locker room, desperately trying to stay out of the whole thing. He felt extremely inclined to use his lack of presence to disappear for the time being.

He felt like this whole ordeal was his fault and no matter what he said, it would only worsen the situation.

And it only went downhill from then on.

Aomine's behavior got more and more reckless, and it ended with the whole team more or less playing on their own terms instead of as a team. Aomine was not the deciding factor to the overall change, but it definitely contributed to the outcome.

In addition, Akashi did nothing to stop it, and Kuroko felt utterly helpless in helping his friends regain what they had lost – the love for basketball. That dear sense of belonging with the team.

He could not live like that. Playing basketball with people who only did so for their own personal gain. What he loved about the sport was team play, friendship, the tight knit bond all of them shared… Was it really all just gone like that? In the blink of an eye?

It was first on that fateful day of their graduation that it truly struck him that their time together was over… and there was nothing he could do about it.

Kuroko overlooked the empty schoolyard, his lip quivering lightly by the pent up emotions he had been keeping inside for the past few hours.

The wind danced lightly across the empty field, and Kuroko slowly closed his eyes in an attempt to keep his already shattered inner-self in check. It was rough. Honestly, he just wanted to forget all about the miracles, but at the same time, he knew that they were all deeply seared into his memory… and heart.

Especially that certain someone had earned a special spot – tugging at Kuroko's heartstrings whenever he had the time to truly stop and feel.

The blue haired boy was not entirely sure how to deal with it.

However, Kuroko knew he would have to make a decision… and that, even before he was remotely ready for it.

Because as if fate had guided them together like so many times before, Kuroko slowly opened his sky blue eyes, by the soft sound of approaching steps.

His steps.

"Tetsuya."

Akashi's voice was clear and strong like usual. No inner turmoil was evident.

Kuroko met the captain's gaze, trying to be brave, but those familiar two-colored eyes slowly made everything within the blue haired boy shatter bit by bit. He tried not to show it, but it became harder and harder to keep composed with every second.

"I'm glad you did not leave yet." Akashi spoke, his dark red hair moving in unison with the wind. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

Kuroko swallowed the spit gathering in his mouth, searching the other's eyes for the thing he knew he wanted to talk about.

What were they going to do from now on?

"Akashi-kun…" Kuroko whispered. He inhaled deeply – masking his inner feelings. "I suppose you have already set your eyes on a school…"

Akashi's head tilted slightly – his two colored eyes studying the other intensely. Kuroko knew he would not be able to hide how he felt for long, and especially not when he was in the presence of his captain…

His ex captain.

However, Akashi did not act on the other's feelings immediately.

"I have." Akashi stated matter of factly. "What about you, Tetsuya?"

Kuroko held Akashi's gaze even though he felt his vision slowly getting blurrier and blurrier by the harsh fight to hold his tears back.

"Yes, Akashi-kun, I have." He managed to speak, though the words came out slightly distorted. "Seirin high school seems like a place where I would be able to find what I am looking for…"

He had seen Seirin and their fighting spirit. He admired it and wanted to be a part of it. In fact, he wanted more than anything to find the sense of belonging once more… The dear feeling he had treasured for so long at the Teikō team but was now lost to the miracles individual growth.

He wished it did not have to come to it, but he had to move on… No matter how heartbreaking it would be.

If he tried to hold on to the feeling he had with the other miracles, it would only kill him from the inside. No one would be fit living in the past when the future was awaiting them.

"What you are looking for." Akashi repeated, a faint smile forming at the corner of his lips. "I see… That sounds good. Even though I cannot agree with it, I will have to respect your choice."

Akashi stepped forward, his hand finding hold at Kuroko's cheek.

"However, being the person I am, I cannot help but tempt you just a bit."

Kuroko stared questioningly at Akashi, his tears somehow remaining fixed in the corner of his eyes. Not spilling just yet.

"Come with me to Rakuzan high school."

Kuroko froze by the sudden request. It was not as if he had not expected Akashi to make such a demand, but none the less, he could not have braced himself fully for the impact when the words slipped across Akashi's tongue.

Such a selfish thing.

"Akashi-kun…" Kuroko muttered, his eyes lowering to the ground, breaking their eye contact.

"I'm sure you would end up being just as happy at Rakuzan – You would receive a higher level of education compared to other schools, in an environment where we can truly hone your skills on the court." Akashi moved his fingers lightly against Kuroko's cheek, the motion caring and tender. "And we would be together."

Kuroko bit his lip in frustration. He wished he did not have to deal with this right now, but there was no way around it.

"Akashi-kun… I'm flattered…" He mumbled, his voice slowly becoming less audible – turning into nothing more than a faint whisper. "And I wish I could…"

Akashi's eyes did not waver the least even when Kuroko brought his hand up to cup Akashi's that was still resting at his cheek.

"However, I simply can't."

With those words, the first stream of tears finally left the blue haired boy's eyes. Even though it was only a slight difference, Kuroko spotted how Akashi's gaze wavered by his fragile emotional state.

"I need to stand on my own two feet – somewhere where you can't pamper me anymore." He met his ex-captain's gaze once more, his vision blurred by the tears. He squeezed Akashi's hand in what was supposed to be a loving gesture. However, in his current state, the squeeze became slightly harder than what was intended. It hurt. "I really appreciate what we have and all the things you have taught me. Without you, I would not have been the person I am today. For that, I am eternally grateful to you."

Kuroko inhaled sharply. "However, I have to find my own path, and you have to find yours."

Akashi looked at the smaller blue haired boy in slight disbelief – the previous smile wiped from his face.

"Why is it that you believe we can't share the same path?" He asked, his voice calm and collected, despite his overall mask slowly crumbling.

"We can't as you are now." Kuroko replied immediately – prepared for Akashi's insisting nature. "I won't be able to grow freely as you are now, as we are now. You know that you are not the same anymore. Your thirst for victory in everything will just end up suffocating me."

Kuroko felt extremely frustrated. He wanted to be with Akashi more than anything else - however, he had to be selfish. The current Akashi would not be able to provide him with what he was looking for. It did not make Akashi less of a person or take away any of the admiration he had for his ex-captain… However, he knew from instinct, that Akashi would not be focusing his efforts on team play anymore. And if he stayed, he would only end up being miserable.

He had seen it in the other miracles as well. That dear time was lost.

Kuroko had made up his mind. He would stand on his own two feet once more, and face whatever came at him with renewed strength. He could not allow himself to lose his love for basketball… or the dear love for his teammates by clinging to what they once had.

He would show them through his basketball. If he tried to show it in any other way, he feared that it would have no effect.

"Akashi-kun?" Kuroko muttered when the redhead remained silent.

Akashi felt something within himself stir. He had known all along that this time would come - the time where the two of them would have to part.

However, he had clung to the sparse hope that Kuroko would follow him to Rakuzan. With that crushed too, Akashi felt a painful clenching centered at his heart.

Without even realizing it himself, his hand shot to the place where his heart was – tugging at the Teiko uniform as if the action would dull the pain.

"Tetsuya." He spoke the shadow's name softly, caressing each syllable as if it was the last time he was allowed to take that sweet name into his mouth.

He was not the type of person to repeat a request, but knowing that it was Kuroko, made the former Teikō captain discover a side to himself he did not even realize he had.

"What you are looking for cannot be obtained so easily." Akashi insisted, his voice firm. "In this world, we are all alone, our individual growth is all that matters, victory is all that matters."

He said the words as if he were in some sort of trance, his two-colored eyes fixated on surprised sky blue orbs. His words were more demanding than his intention had been.

"Victory…" His words trailed off upon seeing soft tears spilling from those sky blue eyes once more. He felt the sharp pain centered at his chest intensify.

"Akashi-kun…" The phantom spoke, the hurt painfully evident in his voice. "I have to do this…"

Akashi clenched his teeth in frustration. He could feel his cool slowly slip into oblivion. A voice, no more than a whisper, filled the back of his head, murmuring insisting words for him to calm down.

However, the current redhead was too far out of reach.

Even for his previous self, to get to him.

Before he could think properly about his actions, Akashi took one long stride, covering the distance between him and blue haired shadow, until their bodies collided.

He embraced Kuroko tightly – Clutching at the other's lithe frame in hopes that if he held him long enough, it would somehow change the current situation.

Losing the other miracles was hard… However, letting Kuroko go was hard on a level the redhead could not currently deal with.

He held the blue haired boy in silence for a few long moments. The only thing breaking their mutual silence was the soft rustle of the wind, mixed with soft intakes of breath. He could feel the shadow's chest rise and fall slowly against his own.

Akashi felt powerless and weak. He needed to get stronger. He needed to show Kuroko and the other miracles that he was strong enough to win, even without them.

He would prove to them, that he was worthy of their feelings... and most importantly that he was worthy of the blue haired phantom clutched in his arms.

"Akashi-kun… I really like you… Nothing will ever be able to change that…"

Akashi's eyes widened by the soft whisper from the blue haired boy. He lowered his head slightly to meet the other's gaze.

"However, if you like me too… You should know that this is for the best…"

Akashi's fingers twitched by the painful truth the blue haired boy had put into words. He knew it was inevitable. However, accepting the truth, a truth Akashi could do nothing to change, was hard in so many unexplainable ways. He felt like challenging fate, the truth and the world while he was at it. He would do it all if it meant keeping Kuroko with him.

However, the soft voice from his previous self finally broke through the noise in his head, speaking words that tore him from the obsessive thoughts:

"Keeping Kuroko close by force will only end up pushing him away. Do you truly want that?"

Akashi's hold around Kuroko's frame slowly lessened. He felt so incredibly powerless. He poured all of that frustration and powerlessness into his next actions.

He let it go.

He shattered in that moment.

If his pride would not allow him to put his feelings into words, his actions would have to do.

Grabbing Kuroko's arm roughly, he slammed the blue haired boy's lips onto his own – pouring all of his pent up emotions into that moment, possessing, devouring and marking the blue haired boy with all of his might.

It was desperate, and not like him at all, but knowing that this would probably be the last time the two of them could share such a moment for a long while, he lowered his parades if just for a moment.

He felt the slightly smaller male's hands pressing against his chest for a few moments, before his body, slowly melted into his own in what must have been the blue haired boy's initial parades slipping. Instead of the slight pushing, Akashi felt small delicate fingers wrapping themselves in the fabric of his school uniform and he felt how his kiss was slowly reciprocated by the shadow.

Akashi did not waste any time exploring the other's mouth while burying his fingers greedily in familiar blue locks of hair. Kuroko's hair felt soft to the touch, and Akashi could not help but tug at it lightly as he tasted the depths of the other male's mouth.

Even though they were standing in the middle of the school courtyard, Akashi could not care less if anyone would see them. In fact, it would please him in some twisted way, knowing that someone had witnessed their current form – deeply entangled in each other, in what could only be interpreted as a lovers embrace.

Akashi slowly moved his hands from Kuroko's soft hair and onto the slight curve at the small of his back. He held him like that for a few seconds, as their kiss ended with heated pants slipping across the blue haired boy's lips. Akashi took note of the shadow's visibly flushed cheeks and the haze clouding clear blue eyes.

Akashi smiled triumphantly at the sweet display. He found great pleasure in seeing such a fragile side to the phantom 6th man – a side only visible to him.

"I guess this is for the best." Akashi spoke. "I reckon you won't forget me right away."

Akashi allowed a small smile to graze his lips, hoping that he had seared himself into the shadow's mind by now. Even though the smile was forced onto his features because of his damn sense of pride, he did not feel as bad anymore.

Seeing the longing look in the shadow's sky blue eyes made him believe that the two of them would meet again. And that Kuroko, somewhere deep down in the core of his being, would not forget about him so easily.

"Until then, Tetsuya, I hope you will find what you are looking for. When you do, I will be ready, waiting for you."

"Akashi-kun…" Kuroko muttered, watching as the former captain withdrew from his frame, and Kuroko was left bracing the merciless cold wind on his own. He instantly missed the captain's natural warmth.

Even though he had called out to the redhead, Akashi did nothing to stop – he had simply turned his back on Kuroko, walking further and further from the blue haired boy with every calculated stride.

Kuroko could only watch – studying Akashi's back as he slowly got out of reach. In more than one way. He admired the redhead in so many ways. However, he did not want to become what Akashi had turned into - Someone lusting for victory, only for victory's sake.

Kuroko reminded himself of that, as he allowed another single tear to roll from the corner of his eye unto his cheek. He could still taste the captain on his lips – A feeling he knew he would have to live without for the next long period of time.

Having watched the captain's actions intensely, Kuroko honestly thought he was the only one hurting.

However, the shadow could not have been any more wrong. A single lonely tear fell from a sharp golden eye in silence.

Luckily, for Akashi, the cherry blossoms did not tell the tale of the captain's fatal moment of weakness.