Chapter 16

I have been doing better, a lot better than I used to be. Quien really helped me understand a lot of things about myself that I didn't know, it was weird. She always knew when I was having a horrible day and she would always guess right on what was bothering me on that day. My cutting urges had shrunk down to just once every couple months, my scars still seemed ugly to me. Quien told me that being able to wear short sleeves is a great step into full recovery, I remember I completely refused to even humor the idea. She kept urging me, it annoyed me greatly at the time.

I was in her office, it was raining outside and I could hear when the rain picked up to pouring down. Darry had brought me like he always did, Dallas had to take me a few times. He always managed to fit an entire rant about something in a fifteen minute car ride. He ranted to me about anything that set him off just a bit, the stupidest thing was when he got the wrong kind of cigarettes and griped to me about it. I never said anything about it, I just listened like I would when Darry or Pony complained about each other to me. He just dropped me off and went to do whatever, sometimes he would be nice and let me talk to him. Dallas was so mean and spiteful but, sometimes he helped me more than Quien. I went through my horrible withdrawals with him by my side all the way through it. He took things from me when I tried to turn them into weapons, he would hold me when I tried to hurt someone else, one time I slapped him across the face and he didn't hit me back. When I slapped him, I instantly regretted it. I saw what happened to people that hit Dallas, there wasn't much left of them after that point. He just grabbed my arms and held me still, I didn't know what to do.

"You alright?" He asked me and I slowly nodded.

"Good, I'll let you slapping me go." He said and plopped down onto the couch.

I didn't know Dallas as being able to let anything go. Dallas never let anything slip by, especially if it was against him. Dallas never forgave Two-Bit for stealing money from him once and that was over a year ago now. He just let it slip out of his hand like sand, it was something new to me about him.

"Hey, Soda, how are you?" Quien asked me in a friendly tone.

I just frowned in response, I didn't feel well at all that day. I was tired and depressed, the rain always made me feel drowsy and tired. The sound of it hitting the roof made me want to pass out in the leather chair I was sitting in, I really liked it when it started to pour down. I released a heavy sigh and slouched in my seat, I didn't want to be there.

"Having a bad day today?" She asked and I didn't answer.

"...Are you having urges to cut?" She asked softly and I put my eyes on her.

"Yeah..I've been thinking about it a lot this week." I muttered and she nodded.

"Remember what I told you?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Sodapop, you are important and needed. Your family and friends care dearly about you and want you to get better. No one would be the same if you passed, especially your brothers and your best friend." She said and I winced inwardly.

I mainly thought of the idea of Steve losing me, I don't think he would be able to function as a normal person. He would just get angrier than he already is, I'm like his anger reliever. Without me, he would end up in prison for killing someone. Steve always had problems with his anger, even since the day we met in fifth grade. I cared a lot about Steve, he is my best buddy after all. I don't think he would handle losing me well, no one could convince him it would all be okay. Darry and Ponyboy would be completely devastated, the idea of Pony living without me killed me. He wouldn't be okay, I knew he wouldn't be. I just saw the image of him sitting on our bed, holding a picture of me while he sobbed for hours. The idea broke my heart and I would always hold him closer, I never wanted to hurt him like that. Darry probably wouldn't cry, he would be too devastated to even conjure any tears. He would live the rest of his days asking why I had to leave and I could never give him the answers. I couldn't bring myself to hurt anyone in the gang, Dallas and Two-Bit would even be hurt by me dying. I could see Dallas feeling like he failed me if I killed myself, he tried to hard to fix me. He would just get angrier and blame the world like he usually did. Two-Bit would be beyond depressed, he wouldn't be the same at all. He was the main reason why I was driven to cutting myself, he would blame himself for the rest of his life. I was figure he would end up drinking himself to death if I killed myself, he wouldn't be able to live with the grief. I could only think of these based on how they acted when I was still suicidal, they all showed their concerns in different ways.

"I know I am important but...sometimes I can't help but think everyone would be better off without me." I explained and looked down at my feet.

"Your parents would want you to live your life fully, I know they didn't live as long as they should have but they would be just as devastated to see you go so soon." She said and stood from her chair.

Her black heels clicked against the wooden floor and to the chair next to me, she sat down and crossed her legs. She took a firm hold of my hand and just held my hand for a moment, I noticed she was a lot paler than I was. I didn't say anything to her for a long time, I didn't know what she was doing by holding my hand.

"Soda, I promise the people who love you will miss you everyday for the rest of their lives. I had a brother, he was your age and his name was William, he ended his own life when he was eighteen." She said and ran her thumb over the back of my hand.

I couldn't respond. What are you supposed to say when someone opens up to you about suicide? I opened my mouth but nothing came out, I had no words to force out that would make sense.

"He had so much to live for, he was going to go to an excellent college for engineering and he had a beautiful girlfriend he had been with for a couple years. He told me he wanted to marry that woman." She muttered and I saw some tears well up in her dark eyes.

"What I'm getting at is, you have a long life ahead of you. You have people to love, people to meet, and places to go. William maybe never got to see the world for what he truly is but you have that chance. Take it, I promise it will be worth it." Quien urged and I nodded.

"I was fourteen when he passed away, isn't that how old your little brother is?" She asked.

"Pony is fifteen but I can see what you mean.." I muttered and softly sniffled.

"I don't mean to guilt trip but, it really hurts the people that love you. They will not be the same without you there with them." She and squeezed my hand.

"I understand..I don't wanna hurt anybody." I said and she smiled.

"I'll be here to talk about anything, I promise." She assured.

I went home that day with a new appreciation with the love the gang showed me. They showed their love in different ways, usually by punching me in the arm and asking how I was doing. I had to teach myself to see how they worked and to see how they showed they cared. Two-Bit was the one who liked to ask how I was doing, I could tell by the pain in his grey eyes that he was deeply concerned. I had to repeatedly tell him I was fine but he seemed to never believe me. He treated me like I was made a glass and he watched his words, something he usually never did. I had to pull him into the bedroom so I could talk to him, I hated to see him so down.

"Two-Bit?" I asked him and he looked at me.

"Yeah?"

"Come to the bedroom, I need to talk to you." I said and motioned toward the hallway.

Two-Bit followed me to the bedroom and he seemed deeply confused. I sat on the bed and patted the bed, wanting him to sit down next to me. He hesitated but took a seat beside me, he stared down at his hands that were on his lap. He seemed to not look at me a lot recently, he shifted uncomfortably.

"Two-Bit, what's been eating at you?" I asked and placed my hand on his shoulder.

He lifted his head and glanced at my hand on his shoulder, he slowly moved his eyes over to me. I simply smiled and he darted his eyes away from me. He coughed and scratched at his arm, I raised an eyebrow.

"Two-Bit, I know why you've been acting this way." I stated and he looked at me like I was crazy.

"I don't think I know what you mean." He muttered defensively.

"Don't you even try and act all macho with me right now. I'm being serious." I said and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Soda, I really don't know what you're talking about." Two-Bit muttered and glaced at me.

"You act so sad when you look at me and you barely act like yourself. Why?" I asked.

Two-Bit was silent for what seemed like forever, I didn't rush him to answer my question. He twiddled his thumbs and let out a heavy sigh, he pursed his lips. He shut his grey eyes and ran his hands over his face, I continued to sit silently.

"Do you really want me to tell you why?" He asked while looking over at me, his eyes looked all over me.

I nodded, "I want to know why." I said.

Two-Bit let out a long sigh while burying his face into his hands, he fell back onto his back. I simply looked over at him and he let his arms fall to the bed with a thud. He stared up at the white ceiling, seeming to be in deep thought. He ran his fingers through his greasy hair and kept his fingers buried in his thick hair.

"I almost made you kill yourself, Soda. How the Hell am I supposed to live with that?" Two-Bit asked and let a sob escape his lips.

I scooted over to where his head was and began to pet him, I hated to see him tear himself up so much.

"I could've reacted differently. I should've let you talk to me but...but. oh, shit.." He stammered and began to bawl.

I just let him cry, I knew I wouldn't be able to get him to stop. He sat up and looked at me for a moment, my heart broke to see such a deep sadness in his eyes. He was usually laughing and smiling but now he was an emotional mess. He cried for a few moments before wrapping his arms around my neck, I returned the hug and I just held him.

"Sodapop, I'm so sorry about the things I did and said. I fucked up, I fucked up so bad." He sobbed, I had to listen really closely to understand him.

"Keith, it's alright. I'm alive and I'm not cutting anymore." I said soothingly but he shook his head.

"You still have problems, Soda. I fucked you up and I fucked Pony up. I can't make it up, how do you make up ripping people's emotions to shreds, especially people you give a shit about?" He said and released me just to bury his face in his hands again.

"You don't have to make it up. You reacted properly to the situation you were in. Incest is wrong but, I can't help that I love Ponyboy the way I do. I didn't expect you to completely understand what we were and what we are." I said and pet him slowly.

"I shouldn't of..of just ran off and yelled..I don't know why I did that.." Two-Bit murmured and I sighed heavily.

I moved his hands from his face and placed my hands around his jaw. He didn't do anything to prevent me from making him face me, he stared into my eyes with a deep confusion.

"Keith, I promise that me and Pony are just fine. It was rough but, we made it through. You don't have to worry about me and Pony anymore. Quien really helps me." I cooed and circled my thumbs over his cheeks.

"Really..?" He asked.

I nodded,I just wanted him to be able to feel closure from all of this. What he did wasn't right but it wasn't exactly wrong, I could understand where he was coming from. I let go of his face and placed my hands onto my lap, we sat in silence for a long time. He just sat still, looking over me and I didn't feel awkward about it. He finally moved his eyes toward his hands and cleared his throat.

"I hope what happened won't affect our friendship in anyway..." He said and I chuckled.

"You're still one of my best friends, Two-Bit, I could never just forget about you." I said and he smiled.

"I am pretty unforgettable." He said with a grin.

I gave him a hug and just held him for a moment, wanting to secure that I was completely okay. I let go of him and stood up, he got up as well. I smiled at him and he returned the sentiment, me and Two-Bit were going to be okay.

Me and Pony's relationship got more mature and wasn't as childish as it was when we first got together. We used to have sexual encounters all the time but now, it was very limited. We began obeying Darry's rules and we just didn't have sex a lot. I didn't mind that much, I could wait for eternity just for Pony to turn eightteen. Years seemed to fly by and I just watched him become manlier and more intelligent. I never was smart but seeing Pony excel with his knowledge made me so proud of him. I knew no one would ever know about our relationship but I didn't care, he was mine and that's all that mattered. Pony matured a lot and I had to mature myself just to stay in the same train of thought as him. He was still childish but he knew exactly when to be a proper adult. He always taught me new things, things I never knew even existed. Sometimes we would cuddle on the bed and he would be reading a book that was thicker than his head and he would spit out some fact. I didn't understand all that he said but I tried my best, I just held him as he read his thick books. I never understood why Pony loved to read so much, a book could never hold my attention longer than a couple seconds. I've always been hyperactive and I always tried to distract Pony from his books, sometimes that would result in me getting hit in the head with a book. We were still brothers so, the arguing and wrestling still happened. Wrestling was kind of our own form of foreplay, sex between us always seemed to start with us wrestling with each other. We always argued about stupid stuff too, we rarely ever had a serious fight.

The only time I think I can remember us having a serious fight was when Pony got jealous of some girls down at the DX. I always attracted women even if I didn't particularly enjoy their attention, it was a bit creepy at times. Pony was at the store when this particular was really trying to get at me, I was surprised she didn't try to climb over the counter. She was calling me things I didn't feel comfortable with but I tried to ignore her, she eventually ended up in my face. Pony probably saw it as flirting when I just flashed her a smile and tried to go on with my day. I saw him leave in a haste and I was concerned about what was wrong with him, I had to wait until the end of my shift to find out. I finally got home and went straight into the bedroom, Pony was sitting at his desk, reading.

"Pone?" I asked softly and he marked his place, he shut the book and stood up.

"What was with that chick down at the DX, hmm?" He asked and went to shut the door.

"She was flirting with me, or at least trying to." I said as he stood in front of me.

"Why would you smile at her?" He questioned and I raised an eyebrow.

"What are you getting at Ponyboy?" I inquired, he let out a heavy sigh.

"Sounds to me you were flirting with her." He muttered and looked away.

"Pony, I was not flirting with her-"

"Then why would you smile at her? Huh?" He retorted and crossed his arms over his chest.

I was scared about what to do or say, it sort of reminded me of when Sandy and I had arguments. I could never be right, I was always wrong. Me and her had more problems than we let on, mostly about her being a control freak. Pony was scaring me with how he was acting and I didn't know what to do, I felt hurt.

"I didn't want to seem rude by ignoring her, you know what could get me fired?" I said and he rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." He stated and walked out of the room.

"..Pony..?" I softly asked, I felt my heart break within my chest.

I didn't try to talk to him for the rest of the night, I knew it was pointless to even try. Me and Pony didn't even look at each other at dinner, I just focused on my food like it was going to give me advice on how to fix the situation. Darry noticed but didn't say anything about it until it was time for us to go to bed, he stopped me in the wallway. I didn't want to look at him, I was depressed and I didn't know how to fix anything.

"What's with you and Ponyboy?" Darry asked and I sighed.

"Just a little fight is all.." I muttered and he scoffed.

"It must've been a pretty serious fight if you guys won't even look at each other." He said and I kicked at the floor.

"It's embarrassing.." I said.

"We're all guys here, what happened?"

"Well, there was this girl down at the DX who just wouldn't leave me the hell alone and I smiled at her to try and get her off of me. Pony saw and I guess he thought I was flirting back with her." I said and glanced up at him.

"Well, Soda, Pony isn't exactly easy to talk to when he has his panties in a twist about something. I would wait until he says something about it first." Darry said and ruffled my hair.

"I guess, I don't like how he's been avoiding me." I said and Darry smiled.

"It'll pass, you know how Pony can be." He said while walking toward his bedroom.

"Goodnight, Dar." I said before retreating into the bedroom.

Pony was already in bed when I closed the door behind me, I let out a heavy sigh. He didn't even look at me, he just yawned and rolled over so he was facing the wall. I moped around and went through various ways I could try and make it better. Pony sure was good at holding grudges against people sometimes, I just wish it wasn't me he was upset at. I pulled off my jeans and crawled under the blanket, I stared at the back of his head. I let out a soft sigh and was about to roll over when he rolled over to face me. He looked over me for a moment and I didn't budge, I didn't want to lose his attention. He scooted closer to me and I gave him a confused look, he was acting weird.

"Pony?" I whispered and he pressed himself against me.

Pony pressed his lips to mine and I hesitated to return the kiss, I wasn't sure what kind of game he was playing with me. I softly returned the kiss and he wrapped his arms around my neck, I slowly wrapped my arms around his waist. He pulled away and just sat silent, I was getting frustrated.

"Pony, what do you want from me?" I asked, feeling exasperated.

Pony just stared at me, I couldn't read what he wanted. I don't know if he expected me to read his mind or what, I just let out a frustrated groan. I let go of him and rolled over, I needed to sleep anyway.

"Pony, I'm going to bed. I have work and if you wanna be mad then fine, be mad." I stated in frustration and closed my eyes.

I heard Pony softly sniffle and roll back over toward the wall, I knew i hurt his feelings. I couldn't sleep knowing I made Pony cry, I rolled over and pulled him into my arms. He had tears all over his cheeks and I tried to wipe his face dry, he nuzzled my shoulder.

"Soda, I'm sorry about how I've been acting. It wasn't your fault that girl was all over you, I..I just got jealous.." Pony muttered and buried his face into my chest.

I ran my fingers through his hair, it didn't have grease in it due to him taking a shower earlier. I liked when his hair didn't have grease in it, it was so soft and plush.

"I didn't take you for the jealous type, Ponyboy." I teased and he chuckled.

"I wasn't until I saw someone trying to flirt with you. It didn't feel right...I didn't feel right about it. I knew it wasn't your fault but..I just don't know why I reacted the way I did.." Pony muttered and rubbed his nose against mine.

I smiled, "it's alright, Pony, I was more upset about you avoidin' me." I said and softly kissed him.

"So, are we okay now?" He asked and I smirked.

"Maybe.." I murmured while moving my hand to his ass and pinching it.

"...You want a special apology.." He whispered and I nodded.

Pony rolled his eyes, "fine." He muttered.

Pony and I tried not to break Darry's rules a lot but, we occasionally slipped up. We could wait until a special occasion but we had our moments. Pony was what kept me going when I had rough days, he always knew how to pick me up when I couldn't even stand up. Sometimes he would drag me to the park just so I was getting some sunshine, I had gotten rather pale from staying indoors too much. He would make sure I ate and sometimes even prod my mouth with food when I would be stubborn. Darry and the rest of the gang thought it was funny but I thought it was rather nice to have someone constantly making sure I was alright. Ever since I found out about my depression, I've noticed things that I do that normal people don't do. I can have a nervous breakdown if I just think about work way too much and make it worse than it actually is. I also get so tired, I could sleep for an entire day and still be completely exhausted. Pony made sure I got up, showered and just lived a normal life. I don't' think I could've lived up to this point in my life without him. Every moment I spend with him is pure happiness, even in my darkest hours. I couldn't wait for him to turn eighteen, I had plans for us on his birthday. I bought him a ring, I really wanted to know if he would like it or not. I wanted to claim him as my husband, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it for real but, I wanted to show him I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. I thought I would marry Sandy but that died a long time ago, Pony turned out to be my forever. It's really bizarre how life and fate can lead you to who you didn't expect, Pony wasn't someone I thought I would ever end up with. I knew from a rather young age I liked him more than I should but, I didn't think on it much then. Even when I was with Sandy, I noticed the way Pony moved and talked, it would drive me insane. I tried to convince myself I was normal for a long time but it was inevitable when I would find that I was not normal. I was strange, I was just not normal in anyway. I could give the outside world the impression I was just a normal man but in reality, I was definitely not what they would call ordinary.

Today was July 22nd, 1969, it was Ponyboy's eighteenth birthday today. I had been waiting for so long for this day and it had finally come. We had a small gathering for it but I just wanted to take him out to do my own plans. I knew he really liked sunsets so I wanted to take him to watch one together, it was cheesy but it would make him happy. I didn't tell anyone where me and Pony were going, I didn't want to risk anyone trying to bother us. I had to convince Darry to let me borrow his truck, he didn't like me driving it. He said I was a reckless driver and all I could do was respond with a pun.

"Soda, I'm not sure. You really don't pay attention to your surrounds, you're really reckless." Darry said in a worried tone.

"Well, you are right about one thing, I am a wreckless driver!" I said with a cheesy smile.

Darry's face remained unchanged.

"I know you haven't had any wrecks but you remember that one time you almost ran over Keith?" He asked and raised an eyebrow.

"He was the one who was drunk and thought it would be funny to try and jump onto the hood." I stated and Darry sighed.

"That is true. Fine, I'll let you take the truck." Darry said and pulled the keys from his pocket.

"Do not hurt yourself or Ponyboy. I don't need to lose you guys due to your recklessness." Darry said while handing me the keys.

I rolled my eyes, "I won't hurt anybody." I said.

I grabbed some blankets and pillows for me and Pony so we wouldn't have to sit on the hard metal of the truck bed. I got everything packed into the truck and went to get Ponyboy. He was talking to Johnny about something I had never heard of when I tapped him on the shoulder, he turned to me. I smiled at him, silently telling him I was ready to leave, he turned back to Johnny.

"Sorry, but me and Soda have a date." Pony said and Johnny nodded.

"That's alright, I'll talk to you later." Johnny said as he waved.

Pony waved back as we walked to the front door and out to the truck. I got inside and made sure to buckle myself in, something I would've forgotten if I was alone. Ponyboy sat in the middle near me and wrapped the belt around his hips, he leaned against me.

"You never told me where we were going." He muttered and I just smiled as I started the truck.

"It's a surprise." I said as I backed out of the driveway.

I drove out of town, I knew we wouldn't be able to see the sunset well while still in the city. I drove for what seemed like forever until we were out in the country. Ponyboy always liked the country for some odd reason, I didn't really like how desolate it all seemed. There were no stores, only the occasional farm or house, but nothing more. Pony looked at everything very closely, he was very observant of all the trees. I turned down a dirt road that seemed to lead to nowhere until I found the perfect place to park and watch the sunset with Ponyboy. It was a slight hill, nothing too big, I parked the truck and unbuckled myself. Pony looked at me with a confused look and I just smiled.

"W-Why are we here?" Pony asked.

I softly kissed him and pulled away, keeping the distance between us short.

"I heard you like sunsets so, I figured we would watch one together." I murmured as I pulled away and opened the door.

I got out and Pony soon followed, he stood to the side while I fixed up everything. I got all the blankets first and climbed into the bed of the truck, I laid them down to make a cushion. I grabbed the pillows and laid them down, I positioned them just right so it looked perfect. Pony looked at my like I was crazy, I wanted it all to be flawless for him so I paid attention to every detail. I finally climbed out and opened the tailgate, I climbed on and helped Pony into the bed. I leaned against the back of the truck and motioned for him to lay his head on my chest, he hesitated but laid his head down. I ran my fingers through his hair, just wanting him to be happy.

"Soda?" Pony asked.

"Hmm?"

"I didn't take you for the romantic type.." He muttered and I chuckled.

"You never saw all the money I wasted on Sandy just to make her smile." I said and softly kissed him on the head.

"Well, now you can waste that money on me." He laughed and nuzzled my chest.

Pony went silent for a long time, I didn't really know why until I actually did what we came here for. I looked up at the sky and was mesmerized by what I saw, I couldn't take my eyes off of it. I knew I missed a majority of the sunsetting but the beautiful reds, oranges and pinks that collided with each other in such a perfect way. I had never looked at a sunset before, I always thought it was pretty stupid but now I saw why Pony liked them so much. They were beautiful and fascinating, almost like they were symbolizing beauty in itself. I was playing with the box in my pocket, I hadn't forgot about the ring. I wondered if Pony could hear my heartbeat getting faster, I felt my mouth get really dry. I gulped and had Pony sit up next to me, I continued to mess with the box in my pocket.

"P-Pony, I wanted to ask you something for a long time now and..and.." I trailed off and he smiled.

"You can ask me anything, Sodapop." He said and I slowly pulled out the box from my pocket.

Pony watched me move closely and when he saw the box, he just stared at me. I couldn't read his facial expression well and my hands were shaking so badly I thought I was going to drop it. This was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, it wasn't like the stories I had read. I was sweating everywhere, I couldn't move without looking like I was having a seizure, I looked like a big mess. I finally peeled the lid back on the box and moved it closer to Ponyboy, I could barely look at him. I cleared my throat and let out a shaky breath, this was it.

"P-Pony, I love you with all of my heart. I don't know why I would fall so deeply in love with my own brother but, I don't regret it at all. I know we can't get married for various reasons but, I would like you give you the experience." I said and he simply stared at me.

"This is a joke, right?" He asked, I saw tears well up in his eyes.

I smiled, "not at all. Ponyboy Michael Curtis, will you marry me?" I asked, my brain didn't completely register what I had said yet.

Pony looked down at the ring for a moment, letting his green eyes scan over the diamond. He slowly made his eyes to mine and I saw the tears finally spill over. He softly pushed the ring out of the way and crawled onto my lap, he hugged me close to him.

"Sodapop Patrick Curtis, of course I'll marry you. You didn't have to buy that ring, I would've accepted if it was a piece of cardboard." Ponyboy murmured and deeply kissed me.

I returned the kiss while I grabbed his right hand and slipped the finger onto his ring finger, he slowly pulled away. I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face, Pony was mine and mine alone. Pony was smiling back at me, everything seemed way too good to be true. Suddenly, I was making out with the love of my life, letting my hands run all over his body. I shivered to hear Pony moan from my touch, I knew right then I could live my whole life with just him. I placed my hands on his hips and began to suck and kiss his neck, I knew he was especially sensitive there. Pony whimpered as he slowly ran his fingers through my hair, arousing me even more. I moved my hands under his shirt and over his stomach, his skin felt hot on my palms. I finally reached his chest and began to rub his nipples, something I hadn't done in a long time. Pony gasped and arched his back in pleasure, I continued to circle my fingers over his nipples.

"Oh, God, Sodaaa.." Pony moaned and gripped tightly at my shirt.

I needed to hear him moan, it was one of my favorite parts of making love with him. It was all intoxicating and I loved every second, I had barely noticed the sky was full of stars. I slowly laid Pony down and went to unbutton his pants, I hesitated.

"Go ahead, Soda, I don't mind." Pony chuckled, I noticed his cheeks were awfully red.

I began to unbutton and unzip his jeans, I noticed him kick off his shoes. I pulled off his jeans and boxers, I went to go take off his shirt. He stopped me and pulled it off himself, he was completely exposed to me. No matter how many times I had seen him naked, it always amazed me from how sexy and beautiful he was. I took off all of my clothes and proceeded to softly kiss the middle of his chest, he was panting in anticipation as I trailed down to his naval. I licked right above his navel and then softly blew air over it, he whimpered heavily, I smirked to myself. I moved down to his thighs and began to softly nibble at them, causing Pony to arch his back in ecstasy. I softly kissed down his inner thighs until I was facing his member, I glanced up at him. Pony had his eyes closed, waiting patiently for me to make my next move. I took his tip into my mouth and circled my tongue over and over, slowly. Pony mewled and placed his hands on the back of my head, he slightly forced his erection deeper into my mouth. I began to bob my head slowly as I deep throated him, Pony gasped sharply.

"Soda!" He exclaimed and held onto my hair like a lifeline.

I began to bob my head faster, causing Pony to writhe beneath me. He couldn't keep himself quiet and I didn't mind, we were in the middle of nowhere. I could taste his salty pre-cum and I didn't mind, I needed more of him. Pony bucked his hips and groaned when his action caused me to deepthroat him again, I moaned on his cock. Pony couldn't stop moaning over and over, each time getting louder and louder. I knew I was driving him crazy but I didn't want him to release just yet. I pulled his member from my mouth and crawled ontop of him, I looked down at him for a moment. His cheeks were completely red and his eyes were half shut, he stared back up at me. I noticed the way his eyebrows were furrowed in anticipation, wanting me to take him right that moment. I wanted to marvel in how he looked to precious and so innocent, it was so invigorating. I placed my erection at his entrance and softly kissed him on the forehead, he softly whimpered.

"S-Soda.." Pony moaned as I pushed inside of him.

"Pony.." I breathed as I began to thrust my hips slowly, wanting to make it all last as long as I could.

Pony wrapped his pale legs around my waist and kept my face buried into his shoulder, I didn't mind at all. I moaned from just feeling the way he grasped my member, it felt so warm and tight. He was perfect in everyway, I didn't care what anyone said. Pony softly moaned, they were the most sensual sounds I had ever heard pass human lips. He was precious and gorgeous, he was everything I could ever need.

"H-Harder.." Pony panted and I instantly complied with his wishes.

I thrusted harder into him while also moving my hips faster, Pony pressed his bare chest closer to mine. I felt connected with him, having his warm skin pressed against my own made me want to lose it but I had to please Pony. Pony's moans were in a higher pitch as he clawed at my back, I pulled my head from his shoulder and rested my forehead against his. I panted heavily as I fucked him harder, he moved his hands to the blankets and clawed heavily at them.

"F-Fuck!" He groaned and deeply kissed me.

I violated his mouth with my tongue and investigated every corner, loving the taste of shivered as I pet his tongue with my own, I never wanted to pull away. He moaned right into my mouth and it was too hot for me to stop. Sadly, I had to breath so I pulled away, a string of saliva kept us connected. I fucked him even harder, Pony let out a scream of pure ecstasy.

"S-Soda, please don't stop!" He begged and clawed at my back, I felt like he almost drew blood.

"I don't count on it." I said lustfully and kept at my pace.

I don't know how long we went on but, damn I didn't want it to end. Everything was was too perfect to stop but sadly, I had to cum. I grunted as I buried myself as deep as possible into Pony and released, I bucked my hips as I came. I let out an elongated moan as I finished. Pony simply whimpered and came all over his stomach, I laid on top of him for a moment. I slowly pulled out and collapsed next to him, I pulled him into my arms. Pony yawned and held me close, I yawned as well.

"I'm tired..." Pony murmured and I sighed.

"I'm not sure if I'll be able to drive back.." I admitted tiredly.

"We can sleep here, it's nice out." Pony muttered and I sighed.

"I guess, if the bugs get too bad then we have to move into the cab." I whispered and he chuckled.

I helped him under one of the blankets and spooned him, I nuzzled the back of his head.

"I love you, Soda." He whispered.

"I love you, too, Pony, so much." I whispered back and softly kissed him on the neck.

Life had been tough but, it got so much better. I was beyond glad I didn't die that night and I was glad I didn't give up on life. I was now "engaged" to Ponyboy and I could say I was happy. After a long time of dealing with my depression, I was finally happy about something. Pony had fallen asleep and I just sat awake, smiling like crazy.

A/N: Everyone thank you so much for reading this fanfic! I've been blown away with all the support I've gotten! This is the end of this fanfiction but I'll have plenty more. Thank you once again!