MERLIN

SEASON SIX

The Reincarnation

Episode Two:

Memories of Friendship Past

After a one-week journey, Merlin found himself once again back in Camelot.

He was tired. Exhausted was the best word to describe how he felt. He hadn't eaten since he bid Arthur farewell and though he hadn't felt the effect then, he sure did now.

"Come on, that's enough."

"What?"

"You've had your fun, my friend."

"Do I know you?"

"Ah, I'm Merlin-"

"So I don't know you."

"No."

"Yet you called me friend."

Merlin smiled at the memory of when he and Arthur first met. Merlin had lost several people in his life. He never met his father when he was a child, only to finally know of his existence years later and then have him die in his arms. William, his best friend died, protecting Arthur no less. He had finally believed he had found the love of his life but Freya died as well. All these deaths around him took a part of his heart but when he watched his King, his best friend, his brother die, it was like someone ripped out his entire heart.

Some Emrys I am. He thought darkly. Merlin knew he shouldn't blame himself for even he couldn't have stopped the prophecy of Arthur dying by Mordred's hand. Still, he couldn't help but think that he could have done something, anything ,to save Arthur.

Like allowing Mordred to die all those years ago.

Merlin shook his head. No, he wasn't a murderer, he could never have allowed himself to let an innocent boy die just because he was a druid.

As he walked towards the palace, he felt people's eyes on him. Everyone knew of the relationship between their king and his manservant. Though Arthur would deny it, they were best friends.

Merlin could feel the pitiful looks they gave him. He tried his best to ignore them as he walked passed the palace guards. One of them recognized him and went to inform the Queen.

Guinevere was seated on Arthur's table where they used to have dinner together. She stared at the meal the servant, Petra, had brought but she couldn't find herself to eat. The mere sight of food made her feel nauseous-she reminded herself to go visit Gaius for a check-up. In addition, she missed Arthur.

She couldn't eat remembering her husband's death. She'd lost her mother, her father, Morgana, Lancelot, Elyan, Gwaine and now Arthur. She wasn't quite sure she could handle any more of her loved ones dying.

She wasn't sure she could handle being queen without Arthur by her side.

Don't be silly, she scolded herself. If there was one thing Arthur loved to remind her was how strong she was. He once joked that if he dared to leave her alone with the council, she could coerce them to agree with everything she said.

She could do this. Arthur believed in her therefore she believed in herself.

If only it were that easy.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Come in."

A guard stepped in and bowed.

"Your Majesty, the manservant, Merlin has returned."

She sat up straighter.

Merlin had returned. She needed to ask him what had happened but he needed his rest first.

She thanked the guard who promptly left. When she stood up, the room began to spin and she grasped onto the sides of the table to steady herself.

Perhaps some rest.

Slowly, she walked to the bed, kicked off her shoes and lay down on the covers. Gwen hugged the pillow and caught a whiff of Arthur's scent on it.

Tears pricked her eyes.

I love you.

Merlin's feet led him to his chambers where upon entry, Gaius raised his head from his many potions. With one look at the young man, he opened his arms and Merlin willingly stepped into them.

Merlin didn't mean to but he couldn't stop the sob that broke through his tight lips and broke into tears.

Gaius held on him tighter.

"It's alright my boy," he soothed.

No. It wasn't alright. There's nothing alright about losing a loved one but he needed the reassurance.

"How about something to eat."

Merlin shook his head and pulled away.

"I just want some rest and some time alone."

Gaius squeezed his shoulders before guiding him to his room. He'd get him to eat later.

Merlin shut the door to his room and lay down on his bed.

He was exhausted but before sleep could overcome him, he remembered Arthur's words.

"I want you, to always be you."

As the young warlock slowly drifted into the land of the Nod, he promised to do just that.