- Luffy is a mistake -

Ace is sixteen years old when it happens; too young to understand the weight of his life choices. Instead, he blames underage drinking and an eyeful of cleavage.

She's screaming at him in front of the school to take responsibility. He just wants Her to shut up. He's tempted to turn on his heels and just walk away, but then he'll be just like the father he despises. So he does what She wants. He takes responsibility like a proper man.

Incidentally, She does nothing to help. Just alternates between attracting attention from any sympathetic listener and complaining about how miserable pregnancy is.

It's Ace who actually registers the fact that they're having a baby. That two colossal idiots could have the ability to create life. He doesn't think this should be biologically possible. There should be some kind of safety switch for the body, for when it deems itself mature and responsible enough to become a parent.

Ace becomes the weirdo in the bookstore, reading baby magazines.

Makes Her swear off smoking and drinking for 10 months, which starts a whole series of screaming matches.

Tries to make Her swear off sex. With other people. Because they both know that a one-night stand and an impending baby doesn't by any means make them a couple. It helps that most guys are repelled off by Her increasingly round stomach.

- Luffy is going to happen, whether they like it or not -

They meet at the café near the school. He doesn't bother looking up from his magazine when She arrives. The less they make eye contact, the less inclined he'll feel to flip a table over.

She slams her purse on the table. "Two weeks…I missed the fucking deadline by two weeks! Seriously, just what is the different between 24 weeks and 26?!" She screeches without regard to the number of heads that turn their way.

"I thought you didn't want an abortion."

She snorts in Ace's direction. "I changed my mind, alright? Don't look so smug about it."

"Do I sound like I'm singing my fucking hallelujahs?" Ace pinches the bridge of his nose. A habitual gesture that's probably given him bruises by now. "A child has the right to exist. Doesn't matter what kind of screw-ups their parents are. They don't deserve to suffer for it."

Her pupils narrow. "Don't you start your glorified lectures again. It's not a child. It's a parasite. And it's making me feel disgusting and bloated."

Don't call my child a parasite, he silently throws back. He instantly regrets it, because the 'baby' and the 'infant' could be tolerated, but 'his child' was probably a concept he would never be able to wrap his mind around.

"Whatever." She throws off her sandals, slurps noisily at her frozen macchiato. Ace adds caffeine to the growing list of banned products. "I'm halfway through. Might as well get this over with. Besides, it might be fun." She pats her stomach smugly. "I'd be an awesome mom."

Ace suppresses his gag reflex. He reminds herself that She flip-flops her decisions on a regular basis, and when She inevitably feels like giving up the child for adoption, he'll have the forms signed, printed, and dated to shove into Her face.

- Luffy is early, much too early –-

Ace is having a nervous breakdown in the waiting room.

The medical staff walk by with sympathetic glances, assuming that he's worried about his lover and unborn child.

They get one out of the two correct; not great odds for a hospital.

They assure Ace that many mothers deliver via C-section these days. That modern technology has progressed to the point that they are very confident about their chances of success.

Ace almost wants to believe them. But he knows too well the dangers of childbirth. It's etched into his very existence and buried with his mother.

- Luffy could implode universes with his eyes –-

It's only been two minutes since Ace learned his son's name was Luffy.

Because while he was busy tearing his hair out, She was signing the birth registry. That moronic bitch. Who the hell decides to name their child "Fluffy"? But She had smudged the ink so it read "Luffy" instead.

Ace can't decide whether that's better or worse.

She's reluctantly feeding Luffy with a bottle of formula, complaining about how ugly the baby is. How She thought babies were supposed to have round, angelic faces and wide-open eyes, and it's probably all Ace's fault, because it sure as hell wasn't due to Her genes. Ace bitterly thinks that if She'd bothered to read the articles he'd given her, then She'd know that all babies start out looking sanguine and wrinkly, never mind premature ones.

When he's handed the bundle to return to the crib, he almost drops it in his surprise. Innocent, guileless eyes peer into him. He can see life and love and stars colliding in that gaze. And he knows that babies can't smile until two months of age, but he thinks he can see the next closest thing.

- Luffy cries –-

But not as much as Ace had anticipated. It's only when he's hungry, or when his diaper needs to be changed, but mostly when he's hungry. And when Ace nudges a bottle of formula into his pouty little mouth, Luffy stops crying immediately and attacks it with a starving ferocity that makes Ace chuckle. It makes him forget the fact that he's been woken up twice tonight.

She's already gone. She'd tolerated motherhood for three days before deciding that even going to high school was better than having to deal with a baby. She'd told Ace that he was responsible for taking the baby to the orphanage, and to send the paperwork for her to sign.

He never contacts her again.

A/N: I have very little knowledge about the legalities of guardianship. Also, I apologize if this story sounds kinda pro-life. I was mostly just trying to hint at Ace's feelings in canon.

This story was kind of a project of mine that's hit a dead end. I kind of know how it's going to end, but I'm not quite sure how to get there. You're welcome to suggest scenes you want to see with baby!luffy and daddy!ace.

Also, I borrowed the cover image from the amazing violaland. Go check them out on tumblr.