DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight. SM does.

AN- I'm sorry for leaving you guys hanging. And I promise I'll try to update regularly. I need to finish this as soon as possible anyway. I'm not sure if I can continue writing FF. But I'll try my best to finish this story.

Someone asked about an antagonistic. And the answer is yes. There is an antagonistic, but remember this story is mainly focused on how two best friends and lovers try to cope with the drastic changes in their life. How their love try to conquer all the odds fate has suddenly thrown at them. So just be patient and everything will be happen in right time.

CHAPTER 18

BPOV

"Merry Christmas, Dad."

"Merry Christmas, Bella." Charlie looked up from his toast and egg to give me a smile. "You are early, today."

I hopped up in a chair. "I know. I just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas before you left."

At least it was a part of the reason. But there was no need to tell Charlie that I was too nervous to sleep after Edward leapt out of my window when Charlie woke up. I just couldn't sleep anymore after when there was no Edward to keep me from having as panic attack.

And I have a very good reason to be hysterical.

It was Christmas morning. Since Charlie was used to spend all his holydays in station, this time he had a 24 hour shift as usual – a fact Charlie wasn't very happy about, right now. Last night I cooked a special dinner and we had exchanged our gifts. Now, I was owner of a digital camera! Cool! Charlie had seemed quite taken with his new fishing gear, too. After that we – just Charlie and me – watched a Christmas movie. Surprisingly, it wasn't awkward and I really liked every moment of it. Though it was probably something had to do with the fact that we didn't have to any talking.

Anyway, as soon as Alice had the vision of Charlie's double shift, in a true Alice fashion, she had suggested a sleepover. She had even managed to sweet talk her way with Charlie. I found the idea hilarious. Sleepover with the people who didn't need to sleep! But I could never say no to a sleepover with Edward.

I had been to the Cullens two more times. Both times I had mixed experience with them. While Esme and Carlisle always went out of her way to make me feel welcome, Rosalie went out of her way to make me feel like an intruder. I think the exquisite blond hated my gut. Emmett always made sure that I was deep shade of red during the entire direction of my stay there while Jasper still didn't come anywhere near five feet radius of me. So I wasn't sure how my impending sleepover would be received. Also, I was a bit skeptical about my sleeping arrangement. I mean, I was sure Edward's couch wouldn't be that uncomfortable.

However, none of these was the reasons for my sudden panic attack. I was invited to celebrate Christmas with the Cullens. I was supposed to give gifts to the Cullens.

As much as I was starting to love them, I still had a lot to learn about their likes. Not to mention all of them had very expensive tastes. I couldn't just give them fishing gears, and they were no Masens, who would count the thought behind the gift than their price tag.

At least, we were giving gifts as couples and Edward, being a mind reader, knew all their likes. And I was right, they had really expensive tastes. It felt wrong to use the credit card Cullens had given Edward to buy gifts for them however we didn't have any choice.

Which reminded me that I had to find a way to return Edward his parents' money.

Anyhow, I wasn't still sure if they would like their gifts, especially Rosalie. I didn't want to cross her today. Of course, the thought of Rosalie didn't help my case. I was sure she wouldn't be thrilled at the idea of me participating in their family time.

"I'm sorry, Bells. I know this is our first Christmas together. I can trade my shift with someone else, so you don't have to be alone." Charlie offered, looking awfully guilty.

"No, no, Dad, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. I'll be at the Cullen's, remember?" I quickly assured him.

"Are you sure? You looked kinda upset there." Charlie said still frowning.

"I'm not upset. Not really. I'm just nervous." I told honestly.

"Nervous, why? Are any of the boys giving you any trouble?" Charlie narrowed his eyes.

I rolled my eyes at his protective dad mode. "No, dad. You know, Edward is a perfect gentleman and heaven forbid Jasper actually spares a glance to anyone but Alice. Emmett is like an annoying big brother, who gets a kick out of turning me into a red tomato. So don't worry. Except for painted toe nails, I'll be returning unscratched tomorrow." I joked.

"Oh, well that's…good. Then why are you nervous?"

I sighed resigned to spill my gut. "I have to give them presents. I'm nervous if they will like theirs or not. They have very expensive tastes."

"Oh. Um, I'm sure they will love anything you gave them. One thing I know about Cullens is that even though they are loaded, they are very humble. They don't look down their nose at anyone."

I smiled despite my nervousness. I loved how Charlie always tried to make things comfortable for me even though I had never done anything to deserve his love.

"I know."

"I should get going then." He stood up while glancing at the clock.

"Have nice day, Dad."

"You too have fun at the Cullens. And call me if you need anything."

"Will do." I promised.

I waited until I heard Charlie's cruiser pulled away from driveway before tugging myself upstairs. Breakfast can wait first I need to get dressed up.

I opened my wardrobe and cringed at the overwhelming volume of the garments. I still flinched at the minor reminder of that Saturday shopping trip.

By the time, we were finished I was dead on my feet. Edward had to almost carry me inside my room. Charlie actually thought I had passed out. I took the whole Sunday to recover physically. However, it had scared me deeply and gave me few nightmares much to Edward's smug satisfaction. At least, I didn't have to worry about my wardrobe for another year...or decade.

And was also there Alice's cryptic remark about my change and our suspicious that she may or may not be hiding something from Edward. When I had gotten Alice alone I had asked her about her odd behavior. She had shrugged it off saying she was just worried about our relationship and Edwards's reaction to the topic of my transformation. Apparently, Edward was going to throw a hissy fit. He didn't want to doom me to this 'non-life'. I had told her that Edward was absurd. She had agreed with me whole heartedly.

I pulled out the sweater dress I had kept aside to wear today. It was a knee length wine red fitted cashmere sweater dress. It had long sleeves and screw neckline with a ribbed surface. To go with it I choose a wide black belt and semi sheer tights. I debated a few minutes between a pair of black glossy flats and knee length boots, before deciding on the flats. I was kinda tired of wearing boots every day.

After a calming hot shower I toweled dried my hair and took time to straighten it a bit so instead of my usual weaves it was straight only slightly curled toward the edge. I applied light pink lipstick to my lips, and mascara for my eyes and I was done. I carefully put on the dress tights. I was pleased to find the dress quite comfortable even though the tights was kinda itchy.

I just hoped all my hard works would be paid off and I wouldn't look too plain next to the Cullens.

I jumped out of my skin when I walked into my room only to find a handsome vampire lying on my bed looking asleep to the world.

"Dammit, Edward! You scared me."

Edward chuckled and get up.

"Damn!" He exclaimed when he finally looked at me. I think he even stopped talking, and probably even breathing.

"What?" I asked self-consciously, as he continued to stare at me.

"What are wearing?" He almost squeaked.

"A sweater dress. Why? You don't like it?" I asked panicked.

"It's so…tight." he choked out to my chest.

I raised an eyebrow at the absurd answer, and finally took in his flustered look.

"You like it." I stated smugly.

He shook his head and muttered. "Love it, actually. Damn! You're probably the only girl in this world, covered from neck to toe and still manage to look this sexy." I wasn't sure if last part was for my ear.

"Thanks." I muttered, while trying not to flush in pleasure. I walked toward my bed to sit next to him and put on the flats I had left there.

"Do you mind if we exchanged our gifts here in private?" he asked after he was done checking me out

"Sure." I nodded.

I opened my closet and carefully take out Edward's gift.

When I turned around, Edward's eyes quickly shot upward. But he was a moment too late. I walked toward the bed, trying to fight a smug grin. It did wonders to your ego if a god-like creature couldn't stop ogling you.

Edward cleared his throat, and held out a silver square package. "Ladies first."

I smirked, before taking it.

"You remember our rule, right?" I asked.

"Yep. I didn't spend more than 30. In fact, I didn't even spend one dime." He was quickly getting excited about the gift.

I raised one eyebrow. I unwrapped it carefully. It was a clear CD jewel case, with a blank silver CD inside.

"What is it?" I asked, perplexed.

He didn't say anything; he took the CD and reached around me to put it in the CD player on the bedside table. He hit play, and we waited in silence. Then the music began. I listened, speechless and wide-eyed. I knew he was waiting for my reaction, but I couldn't talk. Tears welled up, and I reached up to wipe them away before they could spill over.

"So, you liked it?" He asked hopefully, brushing my tears.

"No. I love it. You couldn't have given me a better gift." I said.

His smile just got bigger.

"Now, my turn!" He said excitedly.

He took the box with his name on it before I even processed his words.

"You're greedy." I teased.

"I'm curious." He shrugged unapologetically.

He gave me the same perplexed expression as I had given him, when he saw what was inside.

"Which book is it? It didn't have a title." He asked, turning it over.

"It's not a book. Just open it, Edward." I scoffed when he continued to stare at me.

I bite my lip as he turned pages after pages. His expression was unreadable.

It was a photo album actually. Top half of each page had space for a photo and bottom half contained a slip to leave notes. It was full with picture of every important moment of his life, from his birth to his 18the birthday, with a brief synopsis of in my messy hand writing. While I was in most of the pictures, every photo was with his parents.

"You said human memories start to fade after some time. I know you would want to remember everything. So, this is something to remind you who you are." I explained.

The way his eyes shone with emotions before he clutched me to his chest was more than I hoped for when I picked his gift.

"Thank. You." He choked out. "I know how difficult it must have been for you to go through all this memories of mom dad. Yet you did it…for me. I can't explain….just…thank you."

"Anytime. Anything." I whispered.

"You said 'are'." He whispered out of nowhere.

"Huh?" I pulled away to look at him questioningly.

"You said 'remind you who you are', not were." He clarified. "You think I'm the same like him." He said pointing to a green eyed Edward in photo.

"Of course, you're the same. It's true that now you're a bit more durable, with questionable diets. And, certainly, there are things I miss. But none of these mattered. This" I said, taking his face in my hands. "You. That's what I'm keeping. You will always be my Edward."

His smiled was blinding. "And, you'll always be my Isa!"

I smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Hmm…" he hummed happily.

I glanced at my wrist watch. "We have to go. We don't wanna cross Alice by getting late." I reluctantly stood up.

He nodded. "You're right. But first…"

I only had enough time to see sly look in his eyes before his arms caged me like steel grids and crushed his mouth to mine. His hands ghosted down my back and squeezed my bottom. I shivered. And just as quickly he pulled away to blatantly stare my breasts.

"I really like the dress." He winked and flew out of the room with the stack of gifts.

The whole situation was so absurd that a surprised laugh bubbled out my lips.

I shrugged a jacket and my overnight backpack. When I was outside I saw that Edward was amusing himself by catching snowflakes and blowing it from his palm. The scene reminded me when we were four and mom had given us those toys to make bubbles with soap water.

This year, Forks was having a white Christmas, much to my dismay. Of course, Edward was loving every moment of it since it was the first time he saw a snowfall. Even though stupid snow annoyed the hell out of me by melting in my socks, watching Edward's face light up as he catch snowflakes in his cold hand worth the inconvenience.

"If you're done being a baby can we get going now?" I teased.

"I'm not a baby." He mumbled and opened the car door for me.

I giggled and get inside.

"So have Alice managed to drive everyone crazy yet?" I asked once he pulled away from Charlie's driveway, surprisingly within speed limit.

He groaned. "Not yet. But it wouldn't take too long. Alice and Emmett were like two kids in a sugar high."

"Aww, poor thing." I teased. But inwardly thanked my lucky star that I didn't live with Alice. Yet.

Rest of the way we chatted random things until Edward kill the engine in front of the Cullen home, which was aglow with white light. There was even an inflatable snowman in the field near the house. It was extravagant.

Edward held the door opened for me and picked up our piles of package and my backpack. We got out to head into the house. The ground was covered with a thick sheet of snow. This time we were having a white Christmas.

As soon as we walked through the door Alice attacked me with her usual enthusiasm. "Bella, Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas." I mumbled.

"I see you have done a good work on yourself." She said appraising my unusual dressed up self.

"Thanks."

"See, it's not that bad to dress up every now and then now, is it?" She asked hopefully.

"Nope. Not bad to dress up every now and then…"

"I told…"

"….But it would be horrible to dress up every day." I finished.

Edward laughed at her wounded expression.

"Well done, Bella! I never thought I'll see a day when this little pixie is speechless." Emmett yelled, giving me his signature bear hug.

"Emmett, can't… breath." I gasped.

"Sorry, I forgot just how tiny you're." He chuckled.

"I'm not! I'm definitely bigger than Alice." I grouched.

This time everyone laughed as Alice shot me another dirty look.

"Bella, Sweetie, it's good to see you again. Merry Christmas." Esme hugged me gently.

I hugged her back. "Merry Christmas to you too."

"Come on, it's time to open presents." Alice started hopping up and down.

"Let's go, Isa, before she dug a hole in floor with all her jumping." Edward said teasingly.

Alice stuck her tongue out and darted toward living room.

"Place everything in order!" Alice screeched as Edward started stacking our gifts under the tree.

"Do it yourself!" Edward shot back.

Alice grumbled but did it anyway.

"Merry Christmas, Bella. Carlisle gritted me coming down the stairs.

"You, too Carlisle."

"I hope they didn't bother you much." Carlisle said pointing toward his two hyperactive adopted children. "As you know, we are not used to be around humans."

"I think I'll survive." I winked.

"Done! Alice announced. "Jasper! Rosalie! Living room, now!" Alice yelled, even though they wouldn't have any problem to here if she had called in a normal voice.

Jasper calmly walked in and wished me a merry Christmas. Rosalie as usual pretended like I didn't exist.

I found myself sitting between Edward and Alice. I was relieved when everyone loved our gift. Alice loved her Cartier watch and Jasper immediately started reading the book about civil war we gave him. Carlisle loved his Hindi-English dictionary and Hindi coaching CDs. Apparently, he had been thinking to learn a new language. Esme beamed when she heard the playlist Edward had made for her. Emmett announced that our gifts were the best, clutching his new game system. Even Rosalie seemed genuinely pleased about the designer jacket we gave her. It was, apparently, a limited edition and she had tried to get one.

"Bella, it's your turn!" Alice chirped in and handed me a bright red box. The box was really big, almost reached my waist.

The box was so light that it felt empty. The tag on it said it was from Emmett and Rosalie. And, it had both Edward and my name.

"Um…" I looked up at Emmett.

"Why don't you open it with Edward, Bella? It's for both of your benefit, you know." Emmett said. His expression was absolutely devious.

I didn't like the way he emphasized the word 'benefit'. What did he give me?

I glanced at Edward in panic.

"Don't worry, Isa. It's not as bad as he make it sound. In fact, Esme helped him with it." Edward assured me.

I was relaxed instantly. Esme was involved. That meant it couldn't be a copy of Kama sutra, or a box of condoms or a box of sex toy, or anything like I had originally feared.

Self-consciously, I tore the paper off and then stared at the box it concealed. It was a plane cardboard box without any name or sign on it. I opened the box for further illumination. But it contained another gift box in it.

"What the hell!"

Even Rosalie cracked a smile as everyone laughed at my outburst.

I turned to give Edward a basilisk glare. "You could have warned me?"

"And ruined the fun? I don't think so." Edward shrugged, between his laughter.

"I'm so sorry, dear. I have no idea about this." Esme said apologetically. Though, she was also fighting a smile.

I inhaled deeply and tore open the other box. As I had expected – and feared – it contained another box. After I had uncovered seven boxes, I was beyond annoyed, much to everyone's amusement. Eight number – or was it nine – box was a small and flat box. It was so small that it couldn't contain another box inside it.

"Ha!" I laughed triumphantly and tore open it. My victory was short lived as I realized that its occupant was gift wrapped.

"I really hope it is the last one, Emmett." I grumbled under my breath.

"Aww, just open it, little sis." He said grinning widely.

I grumbled again and unwrap it carefully, since it felt delicate like a paperback. I was hundred percent sure that it was something dirty or a kid's storybook. But it was a photo of a bed.

"Um…thanks."

Esme finally had some mercy on me.

"It's the bed. It's already installed in Edward's room. We thought you'll need it in your sleepovers." She explained.

The bed looked huge. The coverlet was a dull gold, just lighter than the walls; the frame was black, made of intricately patterned wrought iron. Sculpted metal roses wound in vines up the tall posts and formed a bowery lattice overhead. It was actually beautiful.

If not a bit over the top, considering no one really slept here.

Nevertheless, I was touched by the gesture they had shown for my comfort. Not mention, not in so many words she just implied that not only they welcomed my presence today, but wanted it in future too.

"Thank you, Esme. It's beautiful actually. Though, an air mattress would have been sufficed." I said.

"Nonsense. We want to you to be as comfortable as possible." She said fondly.

"By playing pranks on me?" I muttered under my breath. I clasped a hand over my mouth as I remembered that they could hear me.

"I'm sorry about Emmett's idiotic. I hope you're not too upset." Esme apologized, looking really worried now.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I'm not upset. Not really. I think it was pretty funny. Jasper, back me off." I told earnestly.

Jasper looked startled that I asked him, but listened to me anyway. "Esme, don't worry. She was just joking."

"I knew you'll see it my way." Emmett said gleefully. "Now that you two have a bed to yourself, maybe you'll show Mr. Prude benefits of a bed and loose him up a bit."

Edward and I looked at each other and grinned but didn't make any comment.

Edward and prude? Right!

"Open mine and Jasper's next," Alice said excitedly, "Let's save the best for the last."

"Thank you for the Volvo. I really need a car." Edward said while taking out a set of key from the small box.

"I guess I don't need to say that it is in garage." Jasper sighed, probably annoyed that their surprise had been ruined.

"Nope" Edward replied smugly.

Alice patted Jaspers back with a 'told you so' look.

I shrugged and opened mine which suspiciously looked like a garment bag. I pulled down the zipper. My eyes widened as the floor length gown tumbled down.

"Do you like it? You'll need this for New Year's Ball." Alice explained.

"New Year's Ball?"

She bobbed her head excitedly. "Yep. New Year party. It'll be only a family thing, though."

I blinked. "Thanks?"

Edward coughed, something a vampire didn't need to.

She grinned, showing her pearl white teeth. "You're welcome."

"Now, Carlisle and Esme!" Emmett exclaimed.

They were two small rectangular boxes.

Everyone looked excited about this particular gift. Even Jasper drifted closer than usual to get a good look. And Rosalie was angrier than usual. I glanced at Edward. He wasn't looking at it though. Instead, he was stroking the album I gave him. He had an unreadable expression.

I touched his shoulder. "Edward?"

With one finger, I tried to push the corner of his mouth up. He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

He took a deep breath and unwrap his gift very slowly. It was a blue velvet box. Edward took another deep breath and opened the lid. Nestled inside it was a cuff with charm of sort on it.

I was also presented a bracelet of same charm.

"Um?" I glanced around questioningly not understanding Edward's dark mood.

"It's a Cullen crest. The others have one. We thought it's fitting that you two have one too. You're also parts of this family, you know. At least, we consider you family." Carlisle said, glancing at the still silent Edward.

With Edward's continues silence things were becoming awkward quickly.

"Umm…Edward do you want to take your new Volvo for a ride?" I didn't wait for an affirmation. I gathered two velvet boxes and headed toward the door.

I tried to ignore six set of questioning eyes fixed on our back.

-MF&LE-

His posture was tensed as he drove slowly. Muscles of his arm were taut, and eyes were troubled. He was staring straight ahead, concentrating on the road.

Every now and then, one hand would come to caress the album I gave him, while his eyes darted toward two velvet boxes in my lap.

We continue to drive silently before stopping at a deserted back road.

"You didn't know about this." I stated pointing toward two boxes in my hand.

He shook his head.

"How?"

"I haven't been spending much time with them. I had heard that Esme and Carlisle were worried if I will like my gift or not. But that was all. I didn't know exactly what it was, until it was in our hand." he answered in a detached voice.

I nodded, understanding.

"I thought you love them." I whispered.

"I do love them. I am honored that they consider me family." He replied in the same emotionless voice.

"But?"

"But,...I can't do this." He finally groaned, hitting his head on the stirring wheel.

"Edward?" I asked, alarmed.

"I feel like I'm cheating." he whispered, without rising his head from the wheel.

"Cheat whom?"

"My mom and dad. I feel like I'm cheating them. It is not even six month to their... death and I'm already replacing them. I'm the worst son ever." Each word was dipping with agony. it broke my heart to see him like this.

I tried to make him look at me. "Edward, please, look at me."

he sighed before rising his head. But he didn't meet my eyes.

"You know, I love aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Masen like my parents. Do you think that made me appreciate my parents any less?"

He shook his head.

"And do you feel like you love your mom dad Amy let as just because you care for the Cullens."

"Of course not."

"Then, why do you feel like you're replacing them? Edward, I don't know if there is an afterlife or not. But wherever Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Masen might be, I know they want you to be happy."

"But, I don't deserve to be happy. I'm a murderer. I killed my own mom and dad." he yelled.

I gasped in horror. I didn't know he think of it that way.

"Edward Anthony Masen, don't you ever say that! What happened it was just an accident!"

"An accident, that happened because of my recklessness." He argued.

"How could it be your recklessness if the break didn't work?" I challenged him.

"I was driving, so it's my fault. God, my dad could have even save himself and my mom, if he didn't try to save me. I should have died with them. I don't want this life! I hate it!" his voice was rising with sentence.

His each word felt like a whiplash. That would have probably hurt less.

"So you would rather die than to be with me anyway possible?"

His eyes widened. "Isa, NO! Of course not! I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm being oversensitive." I admitted.

"But this is not about me. This is about you. Edward, if instead of you…something had happened to you, do you think they could live with that?" I challenged him.

He furrowed his brows but didn't reply.

"I'll tell you what would have happened. Instead of dying once, it would have killed them every moment of their life. Trust me; no one knows that better than me." I replied while trying to suppress the memories of all those horrible months I had spent thinking he was dead.

"Isa?" He touched my shoulder, bringing me out of the dark memories. I opened my eyes to see his pained and worried eyes staring me.

Something in my eyes made him gasp. He clutched me to his chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm hurting you again. I don't want you to be upset. You should be happy." He whispered.

"But, Edward, how can I be happy, when you're unhappy." I asked

"I'm happy. Tell me what I've to do to prove it. I'll accept the bracelet if you want." He said desperately.

I pulled away slightly to look into his eyes.

"This is not about what I want, Edward. It's about what you want. It's not just piece of jewelry, they are offering their love and loyalty and asking you the same in return. If you think you can do that, then accept it. If not, it would be better if we return these."

Edward stared at the album and bracelet for several minutes. Finally he sighed.

"I want to keep it." He said taking his bracelet.

I beamed happily.

"Gimme your hand.' I grabbed his hand excitedly and snapped the cuff around his wrist.

I grinned like lunatic while tears slide down my eyes. Now, I didn't need to worry about him. I knew Cullens would take care of him. My Edward would be happy and safe forever.

"You like it, don't you?" He asked almost accusingly.

I giggled. "Yes, very, very much."

"I believe you." he chuckled. "Are you going to wear yours too? Do you love them as your family?"

"Silly vampire! Don't you know it already that I love everything that makes you happy? And that your family will always be my family?" I questioned while clasping the bracelet around my wrist.

AN:-

I hope you like this chapter. Please review and let me know.

Thanks for reading.