Chapter I

AU in a way, because I'm keeping all the characters I want alive to be alive. = ) Sorry if some don't like this. I just can't escape my denial. This story would be an adult T. No explicit stuff, I want everyone to be able to enjoy this. It would probably make a few uncomfortable though. Adult means….Adult.

Derek Landy owns Skulduggery Pleasant Book Series. I'm only borrowing the characters for the duration of this story.

Ghastly sighed and stared at Skulduggery. "Really?"

The detective nodded.

Ghastly looked at the ceiling. "Tell her. Just tell her."

Skulduggery sighed. "It's not as easy as all that. I'm pretty sure she still likes that bad hair day boy."

Ghastly snorted. "She broke up with him almost ten years ago!"

Skulduggery groaned. His excuses were becoming lame, and he knew it.

Ghastly stared at the skeleton. "You're insecure about being only a skeleton, aren't you?"

Said skeleton grumbled. "What have I got to offer her? Seriously? I'm a skeleton. Completely made of bone, no flesh, no…necessary items…I had a farm, a future, and a family to offer Elysia, but to Valkyrie, I have…nothing…" He tilted his head down to his skeletal hands.

Ghastly sighed. "Valkyrie is twenty five now. You've been through hell, war, and grief together. You were there for her, saving her life so many thousands of times. You were holding her when she found her parents. You grounded her to reality when Darquess was driving her mad. You brought her back to herself so many times. I've seen how she looks at you. Skul, do you remember the time when you got that magic virus?"

Skulduggery tilted his head in confusion and then made a noise of realization. "The one that threatened to dissolve the bond on my bones?"

Ghastly nodded. "She didn't rest until the cure was in her hands. She insisted on giving it to you personally. Do you honestly think that she cares what you are? That you're only a skeleton?" Ghastly shook his head in exasperation. "Tell her. Tomorrow night. That would be a good time."

Skulduggery looked at his friend. "Tomorrow night? What's going on tomorrow night?"

Ghastly muttered to himself about oblivious skeletons. "There's a ball going on. I've heard that Tanith and China are giving Val dancing lessons." He smiled. Skulduggery chuckled. "The theme is perfect for you two anyways."

Skulduggery sighed and then he raised his head. "What is the theme this year?"

Ghastly got up and headed to the door. Only when he was halfway out of the room did he answer. "Beauty and the Beast." He bolted out of the room and was down the hall by the time Skullduggery was off his seat.

Skulduggery was about to participate in some rather destructive means of emotional venting…meaning he was going to break the furniture; however, Valkyrie walked in so he decided to exercise delayed gratification. He was going to break furniture after Valkyrie left.

"Skulduggery, what's going on here?" She could sense the build up of power from him.

He coughed. "Nothing. Nothing at all, Valkyrie."

She smiled. Skulduggery cleared his throat. "Um…" He cursed himself. Skulduggery Pleasant did not clear his throat. It was like saying Darquess giggled, or Lord Vile belched. It just didn't happen.

Valkyrie thought so too. She raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"I was wondering if you had a partner for the ball tomorrow night?"

She thought for a second. He felt like rolling his nonexistent eyes. Of course she didn't have a date. Everyone knew that Skulduggery would murder them in their sleep if they tried to ask her. She smiled.

"Nope."

He nodded. "I'm taking you." He had always bent blunt.

She laughed. "Okay. Pick me up at Gordon's house?"

"Of course. I shall pick you up at 7:30pm." She smiled at him.

"Perfect." She hugged him and walked out of the room. Skulduggery decided to allow the furniture to survive another day. He walked quickly after her. He needed to know what color tie he would have to wear. It was a fastidious event. He stopped when he heard giggling.

"How was it?" That was Tanith's voice. Skulduggery stepped quietly closer. They were around the corner.

"He actually cleared his throat!" Valkyrie? What in the world was she…ah…could it possibly be…? Skulduggery would have smirked if he had lips. He stepped closer and hid behind a statue.

"Interesting…it seems as if the great Skulduggery Pleasant is nervous." China was in on it too, huh? Skulduggery stifled a laugh. Those two matchmakers. Suddenly, Mr. Pleasant didn't feel so nervous about his feelings toward Miss Cain. She had enlisted those two thingamabobs, while he had enlisted Ghastly.

"What did I tell you, Val! It's a sure sign! He likes you! He's nearing the breaking point!" Tanith whispered loudly. Skulduggery tried rolling his eye sockets. What was the use of whispering if you were going to do it loudly?

Valkyrie was obviously blushing. He could tell from her voice. "But, why? Why would he like me?"

China laughed. "I honestly don't know."

There was a smack and then a hiss. There was a small scuffle, which he could only assume that one girl was stopping another girl from having a fight with China. "Girls, quit it." Valkyrie's voice. Skulduggery nodded to himself. Tanith must have slapped China for the comment on Val.

"Ignore her, Val; she's just jealous about all this."

He heard China laugh mockingly. "Your accusations amuse me, Tanith. I got over Skul a long time ago."

Tanith spoke up again. "Anyway, this is perfect. I think you should confess to him at the ball tomorrow."

He heard China scoff. "She confess? Dearest Tanith, you know nothing of proper romance. The man should take the lead and confess first."

Tanith scoffed at China. "Since when has Val gone second?"

China spoke. He could hear a smug smile in her voice. "Skulduggery Pleasant is not Fletcher Renn. He will not be led. He is the leader, in war or in romance. Better get used to it, darling. You will not be wearing the pants in this relationship."

Skulduggery visualized himself biting his lip anxiously. What would Valkyrie say to that?

"I honestly don't mind that. I need a leader. I need a man, not a boy. Fletcher just didn't match me."

The air shifted, and Skulduggery realized that they were coming towards him. He invested two second for panicking. There was no place to hide! An idea came to him. He acted quickly.

Valkyrie, China, and Tanith turned the corner and walked arm in arm past all the historical exhibits. China glanced at one.

"I didn't realized that they added a human skeleton to the collection. It looks in good condition too." She tilted her head to one side.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and didn't even look. "China you are not stealing a skeleton."

Tanith giggled. "Well, if she can't have Pleasant, she'll have any old skeleton."

China huffed and walked faster, leaving the two girls behind. Valkyrie rolled her eyes again and called out to China. Tanith ran after them both. Once they left the hall, Skulduggery put his clothes back on.

"I cannot believe I just got naked in front of the girl I love." He shook his head. "What bother's me is that she didn't even recognize me." He huffed.