Author's Note: Thank you so much for your reviews and for your continued interest in this little story. Next to the news about Season 6 (FINALLY!) I'd like to blame ilovedessert and her 'Absolute Mess' for my renewed inspiration for this ship. Nothing like a proper mess to pique my interest! But enough about me, and back to hormonal Sharon.

Chapter 31: Hormonal Confusion

July 2012

Sharon was sitting on the couch, the lilies cradled in her lap, and watched as the tears dropped one by one onto the beautiful flowers. The colours were blurring before her eyes as her hands touched the soft petals.

Why would Andy go through the trouble of giving her these when he was obviously more interested in a much younger woman he'd only just met? Gosh, she'd been hurt before, and she'd been hurt by Andy, but this time it had come out of the blue when she had thought that they were finally on a good path. It was strange, she'd never pegged Andy as a cheater. He was a womaniser for sure, but even when they had been together, she had been the only one breaking vows. These last weeks had been amazing, all the additional tenderness added to their friendship, the way Andy looked at her, how she would look forward to going home to him at night, the little messages during the day. And Andy had seemed happy too, at peace, not like someone who would blow all this over a flirt with a criminal.

A loud wailing sound startled her – she didn't realise it had emanated from her own body. She didn't place the incessant rapping sound as something taking place in her vicinity, didn't react to the key in the lock nor to the sound of the steps. Instead she focused all her energy on the flowers. They were beautiful – an uncommon combination of colours but exactly what she would have chosen for herself. The lively, warm orange combined with the cool and calming purple gave her peace as she lost herself in the swirls of colours. It was sweet of him, really, to bring her these – and she had laid into him like fury personified. She signed, mortified to think who else would find themselves at the receiving end of her mood swings. She already hated menopause and it had only just started!

"Sharon? Sweetheart, I just want to make sure you're okay."

She jumped up in surprise and turned around. Andy stood just inside her condo, keys still in hand. She took a deep breath to steady herself and nodded. He had come back. A man who had cheated on her wouldn't be back to check on her – or would he? Clutching the flowers in her hand she stood and watched his steps until he came to a stop right in front of her. If only she could stop crying! Andy must think she'd gone completely crazy.

"So I shouldn't have flirted with the suspect, and I'm not going to do that again, okay? That was stupid of me."

She sniffed and closed her hands more tightly around the bouquet. Orange and purple lilies, her favourites.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, sweetheart. You're the only one for me, just you, and there'll never be anyone else."

This time Sharon looked up at him through teary eyes and tried a little smile.

"I can be a real idiot sometimes."

She chuckled softly at first and then the chuckle grew into laughter. "I should know that, I've seen it happen often enough!"

Andy relief was palpable, but he had to hear it from her. "So … are we good?"

The soft expression on his face nearly melted her heart. "We are," she affirmed and when Andy opened his arms wide she literally fell into them. Her head came to rest in the crook of his neck, the flowers now squashed between them. She could feel his arms closing around her, cradling her against him. Gosh, this felt good.

"I'll make it up to you," he whispered into her hair and then she felt his lips against her temple.

But this wasn't quite fair. Their fight hadn't all been his fault. Maybe she should be honest with him and tell him why she'd been so aggressive recently, warn him that this was something they would have to live with for the foreseeable future. They were sharing their life now and her inconvience was part of that. She sighed audibly and Andy tensed up in response. "Sweetheart, please give me a chance."

She had to tell him, even if she couldn't look him in the eyes. She placed a soft kiss against his neck and brought one of her arms out from between them to wrap around his waist. "You don't need to make it up to me, Andy. I … I have to tell you something … a little unexpected. I … gosh, it's awkward, but my hormones are a little out of whack and I may be a little more … sensitive these days. I'm not normally this angry and I hope it won't last."

"Oh sweetheart, that's okay. Neither of us expected it, but that's just the way life goes. I promise I'm going to be with you every step of the way. I'm going to be by your side, even if you're hormonal and moody, okay? This time, you can count on me."

Who are you and what have you done with Andy Flynn, she thought and lifted her face to look at him in wonder. She could see nothing but love and caring in his eyes, that same joy she had seen two days ago when she had woken up in his arms. It was a bit of an odd reaction considering what she had just told him. But then again, how would she want him to react? At least he hadn't made a joke about hot flushes and the like. "So you're okay with this," she asked again to make sure she hadn't misunderstood him.

"Of course I am! I'm more than okay, sweetheart. The more important question is, how are you? I don't mean to be blunt, but you look exhausted."

"Since we're being blunt. I thought you'd already started looking for someone else after our fight and I … dammit, Andy, I don't want to have to doubt you."

Andy brought one of his hands up to rest against her cheek and kissed her tenderly. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, I'm sorry I made you doubt me. Maybe you were right earlier. I'm used to flirting but I promise you, that stops now. I've never been a cheater and I'm not about to start, certainly not now."

Sharon nodded and closed her eyes.

"How about we take a little nap together before dinner?"

She loved how he was just assuming that they would be spending the evening together and she really did feel run down. Her stuffy nose, her burning eyes, their stupid fight and her even more stupid hormones were sucking all energy out of her. She just wanted to be close to Andy. When he lay what remained of the bouquet on the table and pulled her towards she bedroom, she didn't resist.

They stretched out on the covers facing each other and Andy took her cashmere throw and covered her with it. She smiled gratefully. He knew her so well already. Her eyes slipped closed out of their own volition and his gentle caresses only served to make her more drowsy. She drifted off into a happy little bubble and barely stirred when Andy pulled her close, burying her face in his chest whispering how glad she was they were no longer fighting.

"Me too. God, I love you both so much! Just rest now, mommy, I'll be here when you wake up."

Mommy. She shook her head in amusement. Not like she hadn't been the mother of his son for two decades and not like he hadn't known about it for a couple of years now. Maybe actually being together as a couple made it more real for him. And how incredibly sweet of him to emphasise that when her childbearing years were clearly over. He might be a notorious flirt, but she did feel very loved and his hands running slowly through her hair just felt so good.

/

"Gosh Andy, if make-up sex is this good, we really should fight more often. Never thought you'd be quite so adventurous." Sharon was still trying to catch her breath and Andy next to her wasn't faring much better. The need for additional warmth was gone, the blankets discarded on the floor along with their clothes. Blindly she searched for his hand, laughing when he only groaned in response. At least menopause didn't seem to be affecting her sex drive – if anything it was more pronounced. She blushed a little at her line of thought and cuddled closer to Andy. They were both hot and sweaty, but she missed to connection. He groaned again and placed a haphazard kiss in the vicinity of her face. Darkness had fallen and the moonlight was shining through the open blinds. For a while they listened to each other's breathing slowly returning to normal. It was Sharon who picked up the discarded sheet and covered them with a wistful smile. "That was quite a wild ride, darling."

Andy stiffened. "Too wild?"

"Gosh, no! Andy, no, I enjoyed that – very much." Her skin was still tingling at the memory.

"I just figured we might try and get creative now, see what works, you know, with your growing belly and all."

His words washed over her like an icy shower, the warm, comfortable bubble she'd been in burst, leaving behind nothing but dread. It might have shocked her less if Andy had decided to hit her. She tried to roll away, but Andy's arms around her didn't let her go.

"Sweetheart, don't leave. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I have no expectations that way, we'll do whatever you feel comfortable with."

Her growing belly? What did he think would happen to her? Sure, women were known to put on some weight after menopause and truth be told, her doctor had just recently told her she was a little underweight but … but to put it like that? Did he expect her to get so fat that they would need to try different positions?

"Talk to me, what are you so worried about? I can't wait for you to start showing!"

"What on earth are you talking about, Andy? It's not like it has to show." Christ!

The loving expression on his face was at odds with his crude words, with the way he so gently touched her face. "No, not for now, and it's still early days. I mean, you haven't even told me how far along you are." Andy chuckled. "Can't be far, we haven't been together that long. But once you start showing, I'm going to be the proudest dad there is."

Once you start showing? Oh my God, did Andy think she was expecting a child? At her age? Good heavens, this was worse than the talks she'd had with Ricky as a teenager. Didn't Andy know anything about women beyond how to get into their pants? She wouldn't have expected him to be so clueless. And how on earth had he reached that conclusion?

"I can see the wheels in your head turning, Sharon. Talk to me. Have you changed your mind? Do you no longer want our baby?" He locked shocked.

"But I'm not pregnant."

"You're not?" Within seconds the look on his face changed from disappointment to pain and sympathy. "You had a miscarriage? Oh sweetheart, is that why you're so upset? God, I'm sorry, I'm such an idiot. I flirt with another woman while you … is it because I upset you?"

A miscarriage. At least he wasn't completely clueless. Sharon shook her head. "Andy, listen to me: I am not pregnant. I never was. I don't know what made you think that."

"But you told me! You said your hormones were out of whack." He pulled a face repeating her expression.

"Menopause. I was talking about menopause, Andy, not pregnancy! Me-no-pause!"

"I know what menopause is! But yesterday morning when we woke up you said you were pregnant! Don't you remember how you told me and then fell right back asleep on me?"

Something was going wrong. Sharon was sure she had never said that. How could she? She definitely wasn't pregnant. Good heavens, she was closer to fifty than she liked to admit and she'd been premenopausal for a while now. It was early, but not unusually so and it wasn't like she'd had to pay any attention to that previously. And then it hit her: her dreams! Oh dear, those dreams she'd been having during the past couple of years. "Andy, did you say I fell asleep right after telling you?" she inquired to confirm her worst suspicions.

"You did, and then we had the fight and you threw me out."

What Sharon remembered most about that morning was her irrational anger and its intensity. She adjusted her position in Andy's arms to face him directly. He hadn't let go of her all through their exchange and she was glad of that now. What a horrible misunderstanding she had unwittingly created. Poor Andy. Haltingly she told him about her dreams and watched as his face fell, all his earlier excitement replaced by sadness. When she had finished her story she still saw the tiniest glimmer of hope in his features. "But you haven't had a period since we've been together. I mean we've hardly spent any time apart and I'm sure I would have noticed. Maybe you are pregnant after all."

She hated to be responsible for extinguishing the hopeful light in his eyes. "It's true, I haven't had a period since we've gotten together, but I didn't have one for a couple of months before that either. Andy, I'm not pregnant, I'm menopausal." She watched him close his eyes and lean into the hand she had placed on the side of his face, watched how his breathing became irregular and how he scrunched together his eyelids. Then the first tear broke through and ran over his face and once that barrier was broken, he started shaking and sobbing in earnest. It was a heartbreaking sight and there was nothing she could do, nothing she could say to make it better. She couldn't tell him they would have another chance at becoming pregnant, she couldn't give him that hope. All she could do was pull him close and she did, holding onto him tightly, rocking him while he wept for a dream that never could be.

And she felt like crying, too. He had really wanted this, she realised. Andy had really wanted to have a baby with her no matter how old they were or how inconvenient it was to raise a child at their age. He hadn't asked how or why, it seemed that he had wholeheartedly embraced the idea and run with it. She remembered the sound of his voice calling her mommy and the way he caressed her stomach, the utter tenderness in his eyes, his declarations of love for both of them, her and the baby.

They had missed out on so many moments together, moments they would never be able to reclaim, that were irrevocably gone. She had had a glimpse of what Andy was like as a father-to-be and she had an idea now of what he might have been like if only she'd told him she was expecting his child all those years ago.

Her own eyes were beginning to fill with tears and soon they spilled over mingling with Andy's as they cried together.

28.01.17