Round 3

Remember me? Yeah you do! Ah it feels good to be back in the writing game! Not to mention that it was probably best that I get something out before Pokkén Tournament comes out and takes up the next three months of my life. So I figured a good piece to get out would be another round of Smash Bros.characters throwing shade and making references at each other. We're kinda overdue for one anyways. I gotta warn ya though, I might've regressed in keeping a balanced amount of interactions for each character. You'll see what I mean.

I'd talk more, but I'm too busy reminiscing about the latest Nintendo Direct and getting hype over the prospect of "Kirby with mechs" (I smell a new final smash in Super Smash Bros. 5). So how about we end this Author's note early and get right to it!

Rating: T for mild sexual references.

Mario: Did I eat a double cherry?

Mario (mirror): 127 of them actually.

Mario: But only one of us can have-a Peach.

Mario: Wario.

Wario: This time, I'm-a gonna win!

Mario: You haven't before. Why-a start now?

Meta Knight: I've heard of your many heroics.

Mario: Thank you so much a-for your praise.

Meta Knight: Tell me, does your reputation precede you?

Mario: It's-a me, Mario!

Robin: Sorry, but I don't remember you.

Mario: Allow me to reintroduce myself.

Captain Falcon: You call that racing?

Mario: We spiced it up with anti-gravity systems.

Captain Falcon: So where's my cut?

Mario: Is your head always-a this spiky?

Cloud: It is. Why?

Mario: I better not-a jump on it then.

Bayonetta: I sure hope you're more fun than you look.

Mario: You'd be amazed at what a plumber can do.

Bayonetta: Mamma Mia!

Bowser Jr.: Oh great, the lame one.

Luigi: Hey, I help save the princess too.

Bowser Jr.: Suuuuuure you do.

Wii Fit Trainer: You look like you've seen a ghost.

Luigi: Y-y-you're the one who's all white.

Wii Fit Trainer: Well start running away to burn those carbs.

Ryu: You must defeat my Shoryuken to stand a chance.

Luigi: Well you must defeat my Super Jump Punch to…do the same.

Ryu: Challenge accepted.

Peach: You've been appearing in everything lately.

Rosalina: I like to keep myself busy.

Peach: As long as you make time for us.

Rosalina: You're special one can't save you this time.

Peach: I won't need him too.

Rosalina: Such confidence for one who requires constant rescuing.

Peach: Ready to show a girl a good time?

Cloud: Sure. Why not?

Peach: Then quit dilly-dallying and let's go!

Peach: Bayonetta.

Bayonetta: Think that outfit would look better on me.

Peach: I can loan you a spare after this.

Mewtwo: What Pokémon are you?

Bowser: I'm no weak little Pokémon.

Mewtwo: Nor are you a threat.

Bowser: You got guts kid.

Mega Man: I can't let a monster like you go terrorizing everyone.

Bowser: Like you can stop me.

Wii Fit Trainer: Your posture has improved greatly.

Bowser: There's only one way to repay you.

Wii Fit Trainer: I can make you slouch in pain again.

Wario: Hey! Magic is cheating!

Zelda: But it's okay if you cheat?

Wario: I don't need to set an example.

Wario: Oooh…Zero suit?

Zero Suit Samus: Not what you think.

Wario: BAH! Then what's the point!?

Captain Falcon: Ready for a Falcon Punch, Gasbag?

Wario: You're fighting gas with fire?

Captain Falcon: It's a risk I'm willing to take.

Wario: Oh Goddess, please make me rich.

Palutena: Yeah, that's not how praying works.

Wario: This is why I steal.

Shulk: Wario.

Wario: The funny-talking kid.

Shulk: You will know my name!

Rosalina: You are certainly dignified.

Zelda: It's how a ruler should behave.

Rosalina: Makes our battle all the more ironic.

Rosalina: Do you plan on taking over the cosmos?

Ganondorf: Why settle for just one world?

Rosalina: I will never let you have your way!

Samus: Never seen you before during my space travels.

Rosalina: I make myself known when I am truly needed.

Samus: Let's hope you're not needed for a while.

Pit: You are so going down!

Link: You can try.

Pit: I'll show Viridi who's a campfire.

Link: Your projectiles cannot pierce my shield.

Mega Man: I've gotten around this problem before.

Link: That still leaves you with many others.

Cloud: I'm here for a rematch.

Link: You do remember what happened last time?

Cloud: This isn't last time.

Zero Suit Samus: Pretty gutsy for a princess to get her hands dirty.

Zelda: Says the bounty hunter without her armor.

Zero Suit Samus: Just makes this all the more embarrassing for you.

Corrin: A Hoshidan ninja?

Sheik: A Sheikah warrior.

Corrin: And soon to be a fallen foe.

Sheik: I've been watching you closely.

Corrin: Even when—

Sheik: ESPECIALLY then.

Corrin: F-Father?

Ganondorf: You are no child of mine.

Corrin: Doesn't change my next actions.

Ganondorf: You'll be at your limit soon enough.

Cloud: Limits were meant to be broken.

Ganondorf: Of which I have none.

Cloud: Ganondorf.

Ganondorf: Such recklessness to face me alone.

Cloud: I'm not alone. Not anymore.

Toon Link: So are Pikmin anything like Koroks?

Olimar: Not that I'm aware.

Toon Link: Okay, that makes this much easier.

Marth: I can tell you'll grow into a fine swordsman.

Toon Link: Yeah, I kinda already am.

Marth: Let's not get carried away young one.

Samus: A kid shouldn't have to go through with this.

Ness: I've fought aliens too, you know.

Samus: That just furthers my point.

Ness: Hey Samus.

Samus: A warzone is no place for a kid.

Ness: I can hold my own pretty well.

Samus: Bayonetta.

Bayonetta: Love that suit.

Samus: Let me show you what it can do.

Captain Falcon: Heard you got a mean punch.

Doc Louis: Meaner than a falcon's.

Captain Falcon: But is it as epic and glorious?

Doc Louis: We need a new punching bag.

Captain Falcon: So why are you wasting your time with me?

Doc Louis: Who better than the crash test dummy?

Doc Louis: Okay Mac, you wanna start juking and jiving, then go in low!

Fox: You know I'm standing right here.

Doc Louis: Alright Mac, new plan! Improvise!

Wii Fit Trainer: So what kind of training regimen do you do?

Doc Louis: We do 100 push-ups! 100 sit-ups! 100 squats!

Wii Fit Trainer: And 100% full of it.

Sonic: A fox who flies a plane?

Fox: Arwing, but yes.

Sonic: You're as dead as originality.

Sonic: One tail? Weak.

Fox: Still stronger than you.

Sonic: Leave the jokes to the professionals.

Falco: Another blue animal with an attitude?

Sonic: I could sue you for plagiarism.

Falco: It's the only way you could make any money these days.

Sonic: Someone order the clipped chicken wings?

Falco: Sorry, I asked for the stuffed hedgehog.

Sonic: Well this hedgehog can tell you to stuff it.

Captain Falcon: I heard there's a bounty on Star Wolf. Know something about them?

Falco: Maybe I do. What of it?

Captain Falcon: Start talking or get squawking.

Bayonetta: A little birdie's come to serenade me?

Falco: Don't count on it ya dumb witch.

Bayonetta: Flock off Featherface!

King Dedede: Well if it isn't the angel.

Pit: Is it Christmas already?

King Dedede: Sure. Here's your present.

King Dedede: Another all-powerful abomination!?

Mewtwo: You claim there are other beings like me?

King Dedede: Like you wouldn't believe.

King Dedede: The king has arrived!

Captain Falcon: So where's my red carpet?

King Dedede: The ground will be red soon enough.

Meta Knight: You insist on goading me?

Marth: We never did get to finish our fight.

Meta Knight: A mistake I shall rectify.

Bayonetta: Now how did this one get away?

Pit: I'm not like any other angel!

Bayonetta: When you've fought a thousand, you've fought them all.

Palutena: Hey little man.

Doc Louis: She may be a goddess Mac, but you're an Adonis!

Palutena: Think your life coach may be buttering you up a bit too much.

Palutena: Don't we have enough of you guys?

Corrin: There's not that many other dragons here.

Palutena: Not what I meant, but one less wouldn't hurt.

Palutena: How do you know if I'm actually real?

Cloud: Even an illusion can't give me this much of a headache.

Palutena: Aww, you're so sweet.

Palutena: Won't your girlfriend be upset if I rough you up?

Cloud: Tifa won't have to worry about anything.

Palutena: I was talking about Sephiroth.

Bayonetta: Hello Goddess.

Palutena: I thought the Umbran witches were extinct.

Bayonetta: I could say the same about your kind.

Palutena: Bayonetta.

Bayonetta: Come on, goddess. Give me your best smiting.

Palutena: Careful. Witches get stitches.

Palutena: You stay away from Pit!

Bayonetta: What's the matter? Afraid I'll steal your boy toy?

Palutena: Oh that's it!

Lucina: I've learned much from my ancestor.

Dark Pit: From a third-rate Marth to a second-rate one.

Lucina: You'll pay for that insult, Black Pit.

Dark Pit: Ran out of sports tape?

Sonic: Ugh. That was a dark time in my life.

Dark Pit: It's about to get darker.

Bayonetta: Well aren't you the edgy one.

Dark Pit: Better watch out. I cut deep.

Bayonetta: Don't worry, you're just going through a phase.

Corrin: So this is the world you came from.

Marth: Common misconception, actually.

Corrin: Well it's still a nice place to train.

Lucario: You've grown stronger.

Ike: Travelling the world will do that.

Lucario: As I've come to know.

Ike: That's a large sword.

Cloud: Bigger than yours.

Ike: It's not the size that matters, but how you use it.

Cloud: It pays well to be a Greil merc?

Ike: Enough to get by. Care to join?

Cloud: Not interested.

Roy: This is confusing.

Roy (Koopaling): Just means I gotta take out the faker!

Roy: Yes, I have to.

Roy: I've fought with your ancestor many a time before.

Lucina: I would love to learn from you as well.

Roy: Oh Marth is going to be so jealous.

Roy: Father!?

Roy (mirror): Still dead I'm afraid.

Roy: Way to get my hopes up.

Roy: Think long and hard about who you're up against.

Bayonetta: It's how I always like to picture it.

Roy: Hey, eyes are up here.

Corrin: You look so much like her.

Lucina: Will that be a problem?

Corrin: No. Give me your all.

Lucina: Fiora says hi.

Shulk: Really!? Can you tell her I'm fine and winning?

Lucina: After this match? I'm not so sure.

Ryu: It's been some time, Lucina.

Lucina: Indeed, it has.

Ryu: Show me how much stronger you've become.

Robin: We're a lot alike, you and I.

Corrin: Except I'm better in every way.

Robin: Keep telling yourself that.

Robin: It's hard not remembering who you are.

Cloud: Sorry, I can't help you there.

Robin: *sarcastic* Thanks. You're a real help.

Bayonetta: I heard you really get around.

Robin: Can we just fight already?

Bayonetta: Fine. Business before pleasure.

Corrin (M): This is all kinds of wrong.

Corrin (F): Don't hate me just because I'm prettier than you.

Corrin (M): You are not pretti—! Wait…

Sonic: What are you supposed to be?

Mewtwo: I am the most powerful Pokémon in the world—!

Sonic: Yeah yeah, ultimate lifeform. I got the gist of it.

Ryu: Psycho power!?

Mewtwo: So you know of my strength.

Ryu: And how much of a danger you are.

Lucario: Another Lucario.

Lucario (mirror): I am curious of your fighting ability.

Lucario: As am I.

Ryu: How do you know the hadoken?

Lucario: My aura can take on many forms.

Ryu: So it's nothing more than a pale imitation.

Sonic: Just drop the act. No one's falling for it.

Shulk: My visions are very real.

Sonic: I meant the accent. No way anyone sounds like that.

Bayonetta: I think I should be Sega's new mascot.

Sonic: And what makes you better than me?

Bayonetta: When was the last good game you had?

Mega Man: How can a human perform such feats?

Captain Falcon: Boy, I'm above and beyond any human.

Mega Man: I should observe closely.

Bayonetta: If you need to talk to a lady…

Lucas: Yes…?

Bayonetta: Right, forgot about the boy.

Ryu: A new challenger approaches.

Captain Falcon: It's the battle of the century!

Ryu: Round 1. FIGHT!

Cloud: Hm?

Cloud (mirror): Not you again.

Cloud: Stay where you belong; in my memories!

Bayonetta: Oof. Bad hair day, I take it?

Cloud: And yours is so much better?

Bayonetta: New 'do, dead you.

Yeah, so there was an excessive amount of Bayonetta in this chapter. Sorry, but she was really fun and easy to make dialogue for. And I guess looking at it now, Cloud probably also got a good amount more than others (his "gives zero fucks" attitude also made him pretty enjoyable to write for). So if there is a next time, I'll try to give them less spotlight (or more if I feel like pissing you guys off during the moment *troll laugh*). Anyways, thanks for giving this a read and I hope you liked what you saw. See ya next time!