"GET BACK HERE!"

Two small blurs of black raced past various people, expertly weaving through the crowd wandering the streets. Another two larger blurs followed closely behind them.

"You gave them candy?!" Fugaku yelled accusingly at his companion.

"Err… technically Obito did." Minato sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. The Uchiha clan head growled, shoving the blonde in the shoulder to show his displeasure.

"Remind me to smack him a new one when we get back. If they can escape from you – the Yellow Flash – in five seconds, what makes you think giving them candy will solve any problem?" The pair turned sharply into another street as the giggling twins took a short cut through a small opening in the fence.

"Damn. They've gotten faster. It's like someone taught them how to use chakra to speed up. No wonder they were able to get away with putting laxatives in the Police Station coffee pot," Fugaku mutters under his breath. Minato thought that it would be a good time as any to finally confess something he should have told his best friend the day before. The Namikaze coughed into his hand.

"…I may have taught them how to make exploding tags."

Fugaku almost tripped on air. He turned to Minato, his face frozen in horror. The dark haired man spluttered, "You did WHAT?"

"Hey! Their puppy-eye no jutsu could take down armies," Minato said defensively.

Fugaku sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose in aspiration. "What in the heavens possessed you to teach four year olds how to make exploding tags? Do you know what Kushina and Mikoto would do to us? Did you forget what happened last time?"

Minato winced, both at the memory of their demonic wives and at the explosion donating on the roof of the Hokage tower. The merry laughter of the sugar hyped twins did not help their situation. The Shodaime's head on the Hokage Mountain looked a little sooty.

"At the rate they're going, we're going to need another half of Konoha," Fugaku muttered.

"Well, we could toss them at our enemies and wait in a bunker," Minato suggested, his mind going through scenarios where the Uchiha twins wreaked havoc in the foreign villages. He shivered, imagining the destruction of the continent at the hands of the four year old twins.

"As useful as that sounds, and as dearly as I would like to try that out, Kushina and Mikoto would rip us to pieces when they find out about we turned them into walking time bombs." Fugaku replied.

On cue, another explosion sparked to life. It was the biggest explosion yet, covering the other two heads on the mountain with ash. The mushroom cloud was impressive, he had to admit, and it certainly got the attention of the villagers.

And Kushina…

And Mikoto…

Two large shadows covered the stunned men.

"Dear, do you happen to know how the children got their hands on exploding tags?" A sickeningly sweet voice said behind the two men.

"I would like to know too – dattebane," said another. Both men had gone pale, slowly turning around to face the wrath of the women.

There was nothing more terrifying than a woman, whose husband gave something particularly dangerous to her kids. Kushina cracked her knuckles while Mikoto pulled out The Spoon.

"It was him! It's all his fault!" Fugaku shoved a finger at the blonde next to him.

"Feed me to the wolves why don't you," Minato said in betrayal.

Kushina shushed them, a terrifying glint in her eyes. "Excuses are for Iwa-nin. Stop being a sissy and take your punishment like the big, strong men you are."

Big and Strong were said in sarcasm. While both Fugaku and Minato were feared high ranking shinobi to several different villages, Kushina and Mikoto were forces to be reckoned with. Both shinobi would rather face down a thousand Iwa-nin than get caught in the fury of their wives.

"We're dead," Fugaku whimpered. As one, both shinobi spun on their heels and ran for it, their wives following closely behind, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake. Suddenly, Fugaku struck his leg out and tripped Minato over. The blonde man yelped as he face planted.

"You traitor!" Minato shouted as Kushina descended onto him like the she-demon she was.

"Every man for himself!" Fugaku yelled back over his shoulder, sprinting as fast as he could as Mikoto gained on him.

"I will remember this! And I'll have my revenge!"

The Uchiha clan head wasn't able to shout back a witty retort when an explosion donated below him. It threw him off his feet and into a wall of the Uchiha compound. Childish giggles were heard, and two small pairs of feet appeared in his blurry vision. Struggling to sit up from his slumped position on the floor, he weakly beckoned his children over.

"Itachi, Tatsumaki. Can you tell your mother that I'm not here?" He said in a strained voice.

Itachi narrowed his eyes, his twin doing the same. "Are you going to give us candy?"

"Yes, yes I'll give you candy," he said desperately. He felt his beloved wife's chakra come closer, and Fugaku dived behind a bush. It was unbecoming of a clan head to hide in in the shrubs to get away from his wife, but screw his pride. Mikoto wore the pants in the relationship, and he'd rather live to see another day.

"Tatsumaki-chan, Itachi-kun, do you know where your father is?"

Fugaku's heart skipped several beats when he heard her voice.

"Daddy told us to tell you that he definitely wasn't hiding here," Tatsumaki chirped. Fugaku stopped breathing as his daughter tattled on him.

"Thank you sweetie. Why don't you and Itachi go and play at the park? I have to have a…chat with your father."

"Okay~," The twins sung in unison. He could hear their feet pad away.

"Darling, I don't particularly like playing Hide and Seek. Why don't you come out?"

Fugaku trembled as he was dragged out from his hiding spot and into their own house. He cowered as she pulled out The Spoon of his nightmares.

"Now that we're in a more private area, just stay still so I don't make too much of a mess when I'm through with you. Blood is quite hard to get out of the carpet."

Minato and Fugaku found that the Uchiha twins + sugar + exploding tags = Kushina and Mikoto + rusty spoon = Dead Minato and Fugaku.

Fugaku idly scratched his bandaged cheek and narrowed his eyes on the evidence. As the Chief of the Uchiha Police force, he had to sort through several cases of crime, but this case took the cake. His eyes widened in realisation, and everything clicked into place. That particular person was always on the scene of the crime, and he always had that stupidly smug face whenever he passed by. The fact that he always tried to avoid him within the timeframe of the crime and the fact that he was laughing his ass off for no particular reason the other day should have clued him in.

He found the culprit.

Fugaku stood from his desk and slammed his hands down on the oak table. "That little shit!"

He stormed passed several wary Police officers and tracked down the one responsible for his late working hours. His feet took him to Team Seven's training ground. Minato looked up from sparring his silver haired student.

"Woah, Fugaku. Who pissed in your tea this morning? You look mad," The Namikaze commented with a straight face. The Uchiha ignored him, exhaling through his nostrils. He stomped up to his goggle wearing nephew and fisted his hand in the front of his shirt.

"It was you!" He snarled. "You were the one that taught them the tree walking exercise! And told them to put laxatives in my coffee! And taught them how to use chakra to make them faster! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH GRIEF YOU PUT ME THROUGH?!"

Obito was shaken wildly by the head of his clan. His sensei came to the rescue and pulled a struggling Fugaku away from strangling him.

"Let me go! He deserves to be beaten by Mikoto with The Spoon!"

Seeing as his Uncle Fugaku wasn't going to stop hunting him, he decided to divert the blame. If he was going down, the other guilty party was going down with him. It was Minato-sensei's fault that he didn't intervene in time.

"Minato-sensei was the one who urinated in your personal teapot this morning," He cheerfully smirked.

Both men froze, and the temperature dropped.

"No wonder my tea tasted funny," Fugaku growled. Minato legged it out of there as soon as Fugaku's hands twitched for his neck.

"I've had my revenge! Now we're even you friend-tripping ass!"

Obito had a shit eating grin on his face as he watched his sensei and Uncle go at it in the training grounds. Bakashi was watching the usually stoic Uchiha clan head fly tackle in his sensei with interest, and Rin stood there horrified as the two men rolled across the grass, poking eyes and pulling hair. The twins had made a significant dent in his candy stash when he bribed them, but seeing the end result was so worth it.

The next few chapters might be a bit more serious because of Obito's death and the Kyuubi attack and what not.

So how was it? Tell me what you think in a review.