Disclaimer: I don't own Hedwig or anything affiliated with it. The lovely John Cameron Mitchell does3. You might notice that some parts may be slightly similar to the movie. I just used them to progress the story. Please R&R. I know there's not enough Hedwig fanfiction so I hope this helps add to the collection :).

Chapter 1

I wake up in sweaty mess, with nothing but a feeling of dread in our hotel room in New York. I take a few deep breaths and try to remember where I am. My eyes dart around the room and find their way to the cable TV that was left on before we fell asleep, and then to the man sleeping next to me. Surprisingly, my tossing and turning didn't wake him. I look over at the clock; it's nearly five in the morning. I rub my eyes gently and slowly get out of bed and start maneuvering through the maze of wigs to get to the bathroom. I shut the door and sit on the toilet for a moment and put my head in my hands. I'm suddenly flooded with different feelings of dread, sadness, hurt, and regret. I stand up to look at myself in the mirror. 'Why?' I thought for a moment. 'No, you know why.' I shake my head to get rid of the thought. 'It's been years.' I said almost arguing with myself 'He doesn't care, he's moved on.' I look at myself one last time and splash a little cool water on my face before quietly making my way back to bed. I slide back on to my side stiffly and give Yitzhak his space. I'm facing him and he is faced towards me. As I watch him sleep, I see him stir and his brows furrow before I feel a weight around my waist. He wraps his arm around me protectively; I notice he does this a lot when he sleeps. But not only when he sleeps, he's very protective of me always. I suppose I should be so lucky, lucky to have someone who wants to care for me. He pulls me closer and I feel a sense of security. I feel like I can actually sleep peacefully now, but of course that's short lived.

I wake up a few hours later and notice the weight that was once wrapped around me isn't there anymore. I sit up slowly and lean back against the wall. I hear the shower running which means I have a few minutes alone. I start flipping through the channels of the TV to see if I can find him, somewhere, anywhere. I'm somewhat disappointed and relived when I can't find him on any channel. I settle for the MTV music station and throw the remote on the bed. I grab my notebook from the nightstand and begin to doodle. Shortly after, Yitzhak emerges from the bathroom. I'm looking down at my notepad, concentrated but I can feel him looking at me. "Good morning." He says softly and goes about his business. I think he can feel what kind of day it's going to be. A 'don't fuck with Hedwig day', although that's most days if I'm being honest. Yitzhak doesn't know exactly what today is, but I think over the years of being together he's caught on. When I notice where my drawing is going, I slam the book closed and throw it across the room. Why was he always on my mind? Yitzhak turns around and starts to walk over towards me but I get up quickly and shut myself away in the bathroom. If I stayed, I knew I'd only do something I'd regret. I did it for the good of our relationship. Whatever's left of it that is. I decide to use this alone time to get ready. I put my makeup on, and my usual wig is sitting on the counter waiting to be switched out with my night wig. I emerge from the bathroom 45 minutes later in my full hair and makeup. I look at Yitzhak whose laying on his side of the bed listening to his cassette tape of RENT. He looks pretty content. I roll my eyes but I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm jealous that- wait a minute, me jealous of Yitzhak? I laugh to myself and shake my head to dismiss the thought and walk over to the bed. Yitzhak notices the weight shift on the bed as I take a seat and turns towards me and takes off his headphones. "Do you want to listen with me?" He asks. I think for a moment before shaking my head but then I really think about it. Maybe it will keep my mind off of him. I grab his hand and nod my head to let him know I change my answer. I lay myself down next to him and he puts one of his hands around my shoulder to pull me closer. We go through the album singing along to the songs together. It's the most fun we've had together in a while. Although, I do have to admit it's a bit uncomfortable. We're practically nose to nose, squeezed together because the headphones barely stretch. Yitzhak turns slightly to face me and we stare at each other for a short moment before he moves closer and I feel his lips touch mine gently. He kisses me like this when he's unsure and also maybe because he knows I'll be pissed if he smudges my lipstick but right now, I really didn't care. I let him kiss me back. We were kind of getting into it for the first time in days but then I heard the TV in the background. "Alright, here's your number one pick, with his new single, Tommy Gnosis, The Origin of Love." I pull the headphone off my ear quickly. Did I hear right? I break away from Yitzhak to look at the TV, It can't be true. My eyes are fixated on the screen. I finally see him. When they zoom in on him I can see he's a little older, a little taller and more matured but to me; he's still the same 17 year old boy I met in Junction City, Kansas. I'm so concentrated on Tommy that it takes me a minute to realize he took another song from me. Yitzhak gets up and sits in front of me and also the TV to block my view. He grabs my chin and gives me another kiss, this one more heated than the ones he was giving just a minute ago. I can tell he's getting defensive. I break away and avoid his gaze. He tries to bring me back into the kiss but I grab his hand to stop him. He throws my hand away and gets up angrily. "The fuck is wrong with you?" I ask him. "Why can't we-"he stopped and took a deep breath. I don't know why he does that. Why he can't just tell me things. "Why can't you just write a new song?!" he asked storming out of our hotel room. I watch him leave, a small part of me thinking maybe I should go after him. I choose to let him have his space. Ever since Tommy left me I haven't been able to write a song. I would start, but they always led back to Tommy and I would get so mad and upset because all I wanted to do was forget. I just decided to stick to the songs I already had written. I did get a slight satisfaction when he tried to put out his second album and it totally flopped. Maybe that just shows he needs me too. 'I shouldn't need him, I have Yitzhak.' I sigh, getting up to go take a walk. I need to get out of this hotel room; it was starting to make me claustrophobic.