Or Did It?

AN: In quoting episodes, I worked largely from memory so if any of the lines are wrong, I apologize. Hope you enjoy.

"Could I have everybody's attention? There's something I have to say."

"You're going to coat the entire continent with poison? Isn't there some safer alternative?"

"Like what?"

"Well…trim back the vines as much as we can, live with a little discomfort, and hope that nature eventually restores the balance."

"That's inconvenient and time consuming. My idea is exciting and high tech."

"Yeah, but have you tested this stuff to make sure it's safe?"

"I know I put too much faith in progress and technology, and had too little respect for nature."

"I always knew you'd screw things up, I just didn't know how bad."

"It sounds like we'd be declaring war on nature."

"Exactly!"

"You've destroyed the global food chain! No plants means no food at all!"

"But it's so easy to take nature for granted, because it's always there, and technology is so bright and shiny and new."

"Unfortunately, once again the task force's latest tactic has gone tragically awry, as thick black clouds of sulfurous gas and soot now surround the entire planet, blotting the sun from the sky and causing global temperatures to drop precipitously. Considering the thickness of the cloud cover, scientists predict it may be tens of thousands of years before the sun shines over Pangaea again."

"I think you're missing the point sir, the world may be coming to an end!"

"This isn't fair, the one time in my life I find a job I'm good at, and I end up destroying society."

"Look, you know about the ecosystem, but I know about dinosaurs, if you're in their way, they'll get rid of you."

"Don't worry about me, just go, go on, fly away, go! Good luck, guys! Good luck."

"Well Little Guy, what happened was, Daddy was put in charge of the world, and he didn't take real good care of it. And now it looks like there's not going to be much of a world for you and your brother and sister to live in."

"There's no place to move to, this is the only world we've got."

"This is Howard Handupme, saying goodnight…and goodbye."

"No! No! No! It can't be over! It just can't be!"

"Wha…huh?" Fran opened her eyes and realized Earl was talking, so she reached over and turned on her bedside lamp, and saw Earl thrashing around on the other side of the bed talking in his sleep.

"Fran! Charlene! Robbie! Baby!"

"Earl," Fran shook the mighty megalosaurus and tried to wake him up, "Earl! Earl! Wake up!"

Earl shot up on his side of the bed screaming as he opened his eyes. He looked around the room wide-eyed and exclaimed, "Fran! You're here! And…and…" he looked around the room again and noticed, "And it's not freezing in here!"

"Uh…no, Earl," she replied, "It's May, remember?"

"May! May! The beetles!" Earl recalled, "The bunch beetles!"

"Yes, Earl," Fran said, remaining calm despite his constant outbursts, "They came today during our family barbecue and ate the cider poppies, don't you remember?"

"No, I don't," Earl said, and hopped up out of bed, "Where're the kids?" He headed over to the door and ran out into the hall screaming, "Robbie! Charlene! Baby!"

The upstairs floor vibrated under Earl's weight as he ran down the hall, and came to the door to Robbie's room and threw it open, screaming, "ROOOOOB-BIE!"

"Huh, wha?" Robbie tiredly opened his eyes and sat up on his hammock bed and asked, "What'd I do now?"

Instead of an answer, he watched as his dad turned and left the doorway and ran down the hall, calling, "Charlene!"

"Weird," Robbie murmured.

Earl threw open his daughter's bedroom door and bellowed in, "CHARLENE!"

"AHHHH!" Charlene shot up in her bed with a jolt and pulled back the curtain on her bed and glared at her father in the doorway and asked, "Daddy, what is it?"

Instead, Earl turned and was gone again, this time running to the baby's room.

Inside his room, Baby Sinclair was sitting up in his crib with his head slumped over as he slept peacefully, then the door was thrown up and Earl called into the room, "Junior! Baby!"

Baby opened one eye in a scowl and looked to the door and said, "Not the Mama!"

"Yeah, that's me, Little Guy!" Earl said as he went over to the crib and picked his son up.

"Easy! Watch it!" Baby told him, not appreciating the rude wakeup call.

By now, Fran and the older kids had followed Earl down the hall.

"Earl, calm down!" Fran said as she came into the room, "What's the matter?"

"Fran, Fran," Earl looked at her, "Where's Ethyl? Where's your mother?"

"Mom's downstairs sleeping on the couch," Fran answered, getting tired of this runaround, "Earl, what is…"

"Here, take the kid," Earl handed her Baby and moved past the kids and went screaming out into the hall, "ETHYL!"

Robbie and Charlene walked up to their mother and the three of them shared a mutual look.

"Mom, is it me or does Daddy seem to be losing his mind?" Charlene asked, still trying to keep her eyes open.

"I think we better follow him and find out what's wrong," Fran told her children.

"He's a quack!" Baby declared as he clung to his mama.

"ETHYL!" for the first time in his life, Earl ran down the stairs and risked missing a step and falling the rest of the way down but he didn't care. He threw on the lights as he went and came over to his mother-in-law, who had been laid out on the couch, snoring like a jumbo jet. Her breath caught in mid-snore and she awoke with a small choke, and realized Earl was in the room with her.

"Oh, it's you, Fat Boy," she sneered, "What do you want?"

"Ethyl! You're alive!" Earl leaned down and grabbed the 75-year-old dinosaur and kissed her.

"AH! Don't touch me!" Ethyl found her cane and beat Earl with it, "What's the matter with you?" she hit him again, "Have you lost your mind?" and again.

By this time, the others had caught up with Earl though kept their distance and watched from the foot of the stairs, Robbie and Charlene with mildly amused looks on their faces.

"Ethyl, it is so good to have you here to hit me," Earl told her.

Ethyl's eyes bulged and she almost dropped her cane, "What?"

"Earl," Fran said as she walked up to him, "What is this all about?"

Unfortunately they still didn't get an answer because a new idea came to Earl and he charged for the door exclaiming, "Swamp! I gotta find the swamp! I must find the swamp! Swamp's gotta be there!" and he tore off into the night.

Baby continued to cling to Fran and he threw his head back and laughed so hard before burying it in her shoulder, and picking it up again and telling his mama, "He's funny!"

"Mom, what do you think's gotten into Dad?" Robbie asked.

Fran shook her head, "I don't know…get your coats, we'll take the car and follow him, and maybe we'll get to the bottom of this."

"Flashlight, I should've brought a flashlight," Earl grumbled to himself as he walked back home covered up to his armpits in swamp muck.

He'd found the swamp alright, it was right there where it always was, no WeSaySo fruit wax factory paved over it, nothing but the swamp and a few leftover bunch beetles that were still mating and in so making a racket loud enough to wake the dead, them and the swamp, and 12 feet deep of muck in the shallow end that Earl had sunk in after tripping over a log. He'd managed to pull himself out, but he was going to reek to high heaven long before he got home.

Up ahead Earl saw two blinding lights and realized it was his car, and Fran was driving it. The car pulled to a stop when she saw him, and he stood there and watched as she got out of the car, followed by the kids, Charlene was holding Baby on her hip.

"Now," Fran said as she walked up to her husband, "Do you want to tell us what's going on…or do we have you committed?"

Earl let out a huge sigh and sat on his haunches and told her, "I just had to see that everything was still here, and everything was alright. Frannie, I had the worst nightmare of my entire life."

"Wow," Charlene said, "Worse than the one where the doughnut tried to eat you?"

"Oh, Princess," Earl shook his head, "You can't begin to imagine how awful it was." He looked to Fran and told her, "I thought I'd never see any of you again."

Fran placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at him with her assuring eyes, and she asked him, "Are you feeling better now, Earl?"

"Well," he said, "I still feel like I could have a heart attack, especially after doing the 100 yard dash out here, but…" he looked around at all of them and said, "Yeah, I guess I do." He looked to Fran and said, "I'm ready to come home, I'll tell you all about it when we get back."

"Alright, Earl," Fran said, and added, "But you're not getting in the car like that."

Earl looked down at his body that was ¾ covered in swamp muck and said, "Yeah, I know…you take the car, I'll walk back."

That got a surprised reaction from everyone.

"You, Dad?" Robbie asked, "You're going to walk all the way back home?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "I'd like that…" he looked to the sky and said, "It'll give me a chance to look at the stars."

Charlene used her free hand to grab Fran to get her attention and murmured through her teeth, "He has gone crazy."

Fran patted her daughter on the shoulder and said, "I think this is something he has to work through by himself." Louder so they all could hear she added, "Come on, kids, get in the car."

Earl gave a small wave as he watched Fran turn the car around and head back for the house. Earl looked up at the night sky, and saw millions of stars. Stars, sky, he could even see treetops up there…past the darkness of the night, up there was a blue, blue sky, and tomorrow the sun would come up and shine, just like yesterday, good old yesterday. He hadn't turned the planet into an icy graveyard after all, and the relief this knowledge brought was tremendous.

Now though, he was going to have to relive that consuming feeling of dread as he explained to his family, just what had happened this night.