Oh lord, oh lord, guess who it is and what I've just found. I hadn't even thought about this account, I know I'd intended to abandon it but when I came across it I just got so excited.

I'm actually in the middle of rewriting this story on DA, I think I might rejoin my old account here. :D I've taken down my old stories but they've all been saved for the sake of potential rewrites. I've found I've improved drastically~

But yeah, hey! I'm not at all caught up on episodes but this was too fun not to do, so expect a rewrite coming!

The Molecular Organizer.

It was a device invented by Kowalski, who claimed it was going to "revolutionize stealth" or some nonsense or another. A high powered machine that could rewrite your DNA and rearrange every molecule to completely alter your species; absolutely perfect for undercover missions. It was his greatest invention yet, finally coming to fruition after a life time of hard work in secrecy.

So naturally it all went terribly wrong.

"Ugh..." Skipper groaned, pushing himself up off the ground. He felt terrible, and couldn't quite remember what had happened. He rubbed his temples, trying to ease his headache and remember.

It had been a perfectly normal day off... Nothing besides a brief morning training session. No missions, mostly because it had been storming rather badly and everyone was cooped up.

Come to think of it it was still raining a bit, and he absentmindedly noted that he was soaked.

They'd moved inside the HQ when it started raining, and went about their day... Private watching the tv, Rico- he'd been looking at an old comic book but had later opted for a nap, and Kowalski was tweaking the, whatever that was, his new invention. He hadn't stopped working on it since he'd unveiled it weeks ago.

And he, himself, had simply been going over old files. He could attribute none of these things to the massive headache and general pain he felt now, and it was getting increasingly hard to think as his irritation grew. Something was off and it was bugging him, but he couldn't put his flipper on it.

With a grunt he pushes himself up off the ground, rubbing his eyes.

"Men?"

He froze when he'd opened his eyes to see the main HQ room in front of him- completely out in the open and destroyed, burnt to a cinder, with the top of their artificial ice flow blown to rubble and the iron fence around their habitat bent.

"Men?!"

He quickly runs over, running up to the iron bars and gripping them to look into the HQ, when suddenly he reels back, startled.

No, no, this was all wrong!

He felt a sort of panic set in as he backed up. He was too far off the ground, his... his hands... They were HANDS!

He puts his hand over his chest, still in a panic, and looks around for the other three. In doing so he'd realized his chest was bare.

"Oh- As if matters couldn't get worse!" He snaps.

"S-Skippah?"

Skipper darts into a shrub, looking around for the source of the sound. Not far awake he can see a figure move. One that was unmistakablyhuman.

"Ohh my head," Private says with a small whimper, then in a worried tone, "Skippah, what happened, where are you guys?"

"Private?!"

Private opens his eyes, looking in Skippers direction to see the man in the bush. Something immediately clicks and his eyes widen.

"Ah!" He rears back away from Skipper, then looks at his own hands, "AH!"

And with one of them panicking it suddenly became impossible for Skipper to hold his own in, and suddenly they were both screaming at the insanity of their situation.

"Will you two please!" Another voice says and another figure sitting up, "I'm trying to put together the series of events that lead to my blackout and you aren't helping!"

"AH!"

"GAH!"

"AH!"

And suddenly Rico was up too, and they were all staring at each other, screaming for what was at least a good continuous minute and forty five seconds, and running around to find various shrubs, signs, or even treetops to conceal themselves.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!" Skipper snaps, breaking through their panic, "That's enough! We... We admittedly have the right to panic, but if we're going to do so, we need to do so somewhere where... we won't draw attention to ourselves." He says, voice still on edge.

"Skippah, what happened?!"

"I don't know!"

"W-well," Kowalski rubs his head, still in his own state of panic, "this looks like the work of the molecular organizer! But- but it doesn't even have a human setting!"

"Well that's great Kowalski, when you find out what OTHER absurd machine it was that changed us from PENGUINS to HUMANS and inevitably EXPLODED and threw us out of our home, DO LET ME KNOW."

"That... That was an unnecessary amount of sarcasm..."

"AND THIS IS AN UNNECESSARY AMOUNT OF HUMAN." Skipper snaps. "MEN!"

The three others stand at attention from their hiding places, and Skipper huffs, going into leader mode.

"We can't stay here all night, no doubt some human somewhere heard the explosion. People will be coming to investigate soon, and I don't want to be here when they do. We need to find clothes. And shelter. From there we can figure out what to do."

"But- but Skipper, the HQ?"

"No time. Everything's destroyed anyway..." Skipper couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness at that. It's always been a last resort to blow up the HQ and move on, but when it came down to it. Well he'd never expected they'd have to.

"Skipper, they might not find important documents... or even anything identifiable for that matter, but they'll know."

"Skippah, we won't be able to come back!"

"I said there's no time." Skipper says firmly. "Now Kowalski. Options."

Kowalski hesitates a little before pulling out his clipboard and leafing through it. Of course he immediately realized he couldn't see it and puts it away.

"Ah... Our best bet is the giftshop, Skipper." He says. "There are souvenir shirts, and the zookeepers keep the extra uniforms in a cabinet in the back. We still won't have shoes, but at this point I think that would be a luxury..."

Skipper nods a little.

"Alright, men." He says. "Commence operation Postpone Panic. "