A/N: Hello! I'm alive and typing! HA! Had to finish my exams first...but I haven't forgotten about this story! I want to thank you all for your kind reviews! They make me so happy! And thank you for all the new favs and follows as well! On we go with the ladies...I hope you'll like it! :)

Chapter 13

„…What do you know about conversion therapy?"

Emma held her breath and her pale fingers stopped caressing the brunette's hair. What was she supposed to answer? Of course, she knew enough about conversion therapy. At least enough to imagine how horrid and brutal it had to be. She closed her eyes for the split of a second and reminded herself to remain calm. Her fingers resumed their soft stroking of smooth dark hair.

"I've luckily never experienced anything remotely alike…" she simply stated. There was a lump forming in her throat in gruesome anticipation for what was about to come.

"I have." Regina's voice was a mere whisper. Her eyes were tightly shut, and her brows furrowed in concentration.

"I'm so sorry…" Emma whispered, not knowing what else to say.

"Would…would you like to hear about it?" The older woman continued in a small voice, almost feeling ridiculous for asking.

"Only what you are willing to tell," Emma answered. Her heart was already aching for the woman lying close to her and she desperately wanted to take all her pain away, knowing too well that she would never be able to. All she could do was listening and being there for Regina.

Regina. The woman who belonged to somebody else. The woman who had captured her heart and her sanity. The woman who made her lose her mind by just looking at her with her wild, dark eyes and the fragile look in them.

And so, Regina began to tell her story with her eyes closed and silent tears trickling down her cheeks.

She told Emma about her mother; how furious she had been and how she herself hadn't understood what she had done wrong. She told her about the beatings, the therapy sessions, the shock therapy, the bible quotations and even her suicidal thoughts. The weekend retreats and her mother obsessing over every single part of her life. About no privacy and her sister Zelena spying on her for their mother. And she told about her Daddy probably not realizing what was going on. Although today she knew that he had known all along but hadn't dared to step up for her. Nobody had.

Emma held Regina in her arms while the older woman was crying her eyes out, sharing bits and pieces of her broken self. Emptying the first and opening the second bottle of wine.

This grown, fierce and oh-so-strong and independent woman that the brunette had been all this time had vanished in just a few hours.

Well, not hours. She had begun to crumble the moment Emma had walked into her life. And now she was lying here in the heavenly arms of this young woman who gave her comfort and security. Who gave her a sense of freedom and who she wasn't afraid to cry in front of. Who wanted to make her better and help her heal.

She was now lying on her back, her head still in Emma's lap.

She had never felt lighter.

Lifting her arms she reached for Emma's face, enclosing it with her palms and stroking the blonde's cheeks with her thumbs.

"Thank you." The brunette smiled and Emma swore she had never seen anything more beautiful in her entire life. Regina's face was tear-streaked, her make-up was blurred but for the first time, she looked at ease.

"For what? I didn't do anything…" The blonde smiled back, and her voice was soft and trembling. She felt too much. She did her best to fight back the urge to lean down and capture the other woman's lips in a soft kiss. But this was not the time nor the place. And she wasn't in the position to do anything like that.

A small laugh escaped Regina's lips as she observed Emma's features.

Suddenly she got up, turned around on her knees and leaned forward, capturing Emma's face in her hands again. She felt dizzy and light-headed. Drunk on wine and the high of relief.

"You did more than you'll ever be able to imagine. Emma…" Regina looked at her, her eyes traveling to the younger woman's mouth as her thumb traced the line of her lower lip. The blonde closed her eyes and sucked in a sharp breath.

"You're not thinking clearly…" Emma breathed and immediately wanted to slap herself for saying so. Regina was too close for comfort. But still not close enough to her own liking. But they had to be reasonable. They had to.

"Are you questioning my judgment?" Regina answered, still coming closer and beginning to nuzzle Emma's cheek with her nose. She ignored that little voice in the back of her mind telling her to stop and focus. To come down from her high of relief because she had finally opened up and presented her true self and been accepted for who she is for the first time in her life.

More than accepted. She felt wanted. She felt admired.

Emma didn't need to tell her so. The blonde seemed to have a hard time hiding her feelings from the world; her emotions always written over her face and her eyes betraying her all the damn time.

"You are my savior, you know that, right?" She breathed and began to place soft kisses along Emma's neck up to her jawline.

"Regina, please…" Emma whimpered, and it became harder each second to control herself.

The brunette seemed to be in a haze; forgetting everything that was around them. Her hands were buried in Emma's blonde mane and her body was pressing against the younger woman.

"You beautiful girl…You're making me crazy…" Regina silently laughed, ready to take the risk and give in as she reached the corner of Emma's slightly parted lips.

"What about Daniel?" Emma silently asked but it had its desired effect.

Regina leaned back and looked dumbstruck.

The name of her fiancé had sobered her in seconds. Until that very moment, she had successfully pushed him and her actual life to the back of her mind.

Shame covered her features and she began chewing on the inside of her cheek.

"You're right." Regina pressed out, trying to avoid Emma's gaze.

"You have to talk to him, Regina." Emma began and reached for Regina's hand to take it into her own.

"And what should tell him? That I'm falling for his best friend's daughter and that I'm actually gay and have been for all my life? Don't be ridiculous…" The brunette rolled her eyes, trying to hide the embarrassment and her discomfort. She just had told Emma that she was falling for her, for god's sake.

"I'm serious, Regina. You need to tell him. You can't go on like this. None of you can. None…none of us." The brunette's eyes shot up and got caught in Emma's intensive gaze.

"He has a right to know. Just like you have the right to live the life you deserve. But you have to play fair in this." Emma has her a small smile and tried to sound reassuring.

"Telling him means losing you. And I can't lose you, Emma. I can't." The older woman admitted, panic creeping into her chocolate eyes.

"You won't lose me, I promise!" Emma shot forward and instantly knew how naïve she sounded.

"Don't make promises you know you can't keep," Regina stated, and her lips curved into a sad smile.

"As soon as Daniel finds out about me and…what I feel for…for you, he'll make sure I'm out of your way. And I can't blame him. He promised to take care of you and protect you. He's like family for you and you're parents. He'll never understand. You're just starting your life, honey. You don't need a mess like me ruining everything that lies ahead of you. Not to mention the age gap, Jesus…"

"Would you calm down?!" Emma interrupted and took both of Regina's hands in her own.

"I'm old enough to make decisions concerning my life on my own, thank you. I don't what is going to happen. All I know is that we have to be honest. And fair. You and I both know that we can't go on like this. Whatever it all turns out to be. I…I have feelings for you, Regina. I do, and you probably can't imagine how hard it is for me to stay away from you. To not take advantage of the situation we were in just a couple of minutes ago. I want to kiss you. I want to feel you. I want to touch you…oh, so badly. But I can't do this. Not under these circumstances. I want to do this right. For your sake. For everyone's sake."

A long silence followed in which Regina watched their joined hands and contemplated the younger woman's words.

"Funny, listening to you being the reasonable one." She looked up and squeezed Emma's hands.

Emma shrugged her shoulders and smiled before beginning to draw small circles with her thumbs on the back of Regina's hands.

"But you're right, Emma. Of course, you are."

"I'm sorry…" The blonde answered sheepishly.

"Don't be…Just…Can you hold me? Please?"

The pleading look in the brunette's eyes almost broke her heart.

She reached for her, pulled her close and promised herself to never let her go again…