Letitia's Legacy

Harry Kennedy felt slightly weary as he walked through the little but picturesque village of Dibley and gazed with adoration and wonder at the locals who were braving this chilly Saturday at the start of March; greeting each other in the street, walking to the post office, and one farmer who had propped up the back wheels of his tractor and was pumping the accelerator to slowly turn a hog on a spit.

Grinning, he turned off the path and walked into the village hall where the Parish Council was currently being held. As he walked in the chairman David Horton announced "Item six-"

"Sorry I'm late" Harry declared, and the group looked around at him. "I've just had a meeting with Owen's legal team."

"Oh how did it go?" asked the village's vicar and his wife Geraldine as he sat down on her right hand side.

"Not that well," he replied. "They don't think it could be possible to swing it, not when he's on the charges of trying to do unspeakable things to a cow."

"How unfortunate that the cow turned out to be an undercover police officer," Hugo, David Horton's son, recounted grimly. "And that the two of them had only brought the pantomime costume to find out if he had been selling horse meat on as beef."

Geraldine pouted slightly. "Yes, and lets be honest, he wasn't exactly innocent there either."

"No, no, no, no- that's right," piped up old Jim who was sat opposite Harry. "Although, the burgers didn't taste that bad…" he mused as he picked a bit of meat from out of his teeth.

"Can we move on please?" David sighed. It seemed like the meeting must have been going on for most of the morning if the previous parish council meetings that Harry had attended were anything to go by, and his late arrival probably had not helped the attention span of those around the table. "Item six- applications for funding. The Primary School is looking for funds for a new playground, any suggestions?"

"I could publish my book," Frank -the old parish secretary- suggested.

"You've written a book Frank?" Hugo asked.

"It's my own personal take on the popular bestselling book 50 Shades of Grey," Frank explained. "In which I consider all of the shades of grey that I have ever seen in my life and pick my favourite fifty. And all proceeds from the book would go to the playground."

Harry glanced sideways at Geraldine and they both rolled their eyes.

"I think I'd rather have 50 Shades of Grey shoved up my bottom," David said bluntly.

"While I'm generally against the burning of books, I have to agree with you there," approved Harry.

"Heh, heh, heh, I like that 50 Shades of Grey I do," said Jim, grinning widely. "With all its rrrrr… and…"

"Yes, thank you Jim," David cut across. "Any other suggestions?"

David glanced around the table and Geraldine sat up. As always at these meetings it was Saint Geraldine to the rescue.

"Well, as it is lent, we could all give something up and have a fine box-" she started, but was cut off by groans from the others around the table. Harry couldn't see why this should be such a bad idea, nor could Geraldine. "What, what, what?"

"Are you forgetting the last time we did that?" David reminded her, and Geraldine groaned.

"Oh yeah, tell me about it. Even now I can't be away from chocolate for more than fifteen minutes without getting major flashbacks."

Geraldine gave a little shudder at the memory of having to give up chocolate.

"No-no-no-no- Yes. The Easter of Discontent for all," said Jim.

"Not to mention it was at that time that we lost Mrs Cropley," said Hugo, looking down-heartened. The others all gave murmurs of agreement, David said "Quite," and they were all silent for a moment.

"I'm sorry, who's Mrs Cropley?" Harry asked. Though he had now been in Dibley for some years, references to previous residents and events often went over his head.

"Oh, Letitia Cropley, she was one of our older parishioners, used to do the flowers and played the organ in the church," Geraldine explained.

"Lovely woman," said Hugo.

"Terrible cooking," said Jim, and they all grimaced in memory.

"Yes, another example of the Lord both giveth and taketh away," Geraldine smiled. "The Lord giveth us a wonderful woman and the Lord thankfully taketh away her recipes."

"I still have her recipe book at home," said Frank, looking up from the minutes. "She bequeathed it to me in her will."

"Note to self, never accept so much as a water biscuit from Frank," David said to himself, pretending to write a note in his book. Clearly to Harry this was a woman of some repute- like most of the villagers in Dibley quite lovely in her own way but stark raving mad. He often wondered if the same thing would happen to him if he and Geraldine lived in Dibley long enough. Bringing himself mentally back into the meeting Harry realised they were still reminiscing about Letitia.

"Yes, her legacy lives long in Dibley," Geraldine mused. "Much like Carol Vorderman after she left Countdown."

"Although Rachel Riley is jolly good," said Hugo.

"Heh, heh, that Rachel Riley is nice," said Jim, once again showing all the signs of going off on one. "I'd like to subtract her knickers and divide her legs and-"

"Be that as it may," David quickly interjected before things got too far out of hand. "What are we going to do about the school playground?"

Harry had been considering it and piped up. "Perhaps some form of Kickstarter campaign would help to raise the money?"

Unfortunately, Jim hadn't finished. "I started my own Kickstarter campaign… to raise the money for Rachel Riley to come round to my house and give me a maths lesson that I would never forget. And the people who donated a high enough sum would get a video of what happened."

"And how much did you raise?" Harry asked.

"No-no-no-no- Not a penny," Jim looked crest-fallen. "Although the campaign to bribe Beyonce and Rihanna to star together in a remake of Basic Instinct is still going strong."

"Well, can we leave that in your capable hands then, Harry?" David turned to Harry, refusing to give up all hope of letting the meeting fall to ruins.

"Certainly."

David looked happy at finally being able to move on. "And finally, is there any other business?"

"Just one little thing," started Geraldine. Harry knew what this was about as she had been fretting about this at home and he had suggested she should bring it up at this meeting. Given how they all loved her they could hardly say no to their vicar. "As you all know, Easter Sunday falls on April the first this year, and I just want to ask that after last year's debacle that whatever hilarious pranks you have lined up for April Fool's Day could they not take place during the Easter sermon? We want the parishioners to be thinking about how Jesus was resurrected to save us from our sins and give us the promise eternal life in heaven, not 'if I sit down will Jim have slipped a whoopee cushion onto my seat?'"

Jim did indeed look disappointed at this request. "But I've got a good one lined up this year. All I need is a victim." He glanced mischievously across at Hugo who noticed his gaze.

"Oh, you won't fool me this time Jim," Hugo struck up in his defence. "Not after last year when you tricked me into signing Frank, Owen and your expenses to be paid by father's estate. I'm ready for you."

David looked shocked at this news. "I beg your pardon?"

"No, no, fool me once and all that," Hugo tapped his nose knowingly.

"How long were they on the account for before they were taken off?" David asked in alarm.

"Four months," said Harry.

David looked absolutely horrified.

"Four-" David's eyes rolled up into his head and he slipped sideways off of his chair.

"Father? Are you OK?" Hugo asked nervously.

"Aw, I think your father is just so delighted to learn he's been supporting his friends in such a way that he's decided to have a little nap," Geraldine smiled, quite used to David's stingy nature with money. "And I must say thank you to Jim and Frank for sharing in the prank by buying me a gorgeous diamond necklace. And paying for us to go to Cadbury's World of course."

"Thank you to Harry for organizing the prank," said Frank. Of course, being in charge of the Horton accounts for many years Harry had played a key part in pulling off the prank.

"And thank you Frank for the Ferrari," Harry responded, and a roguish smile spread across his face. He sighed and stood up. "If that's the meeting adjourned then I must be going. I promised Alice I'd explain what an ISA is. She still thinks it's something you put on your car when it's too cold. I'll see you at home."

This last comment was to Geraldine, to whom he gave a quick kiss before leaving the hall.

"See you saucy!" Geraldine called after Harry. After they heard the front door close behind him Frank closed the minutes book.

"I think we'd best be off too," Frank indicated Jim and himself. "Before Mr Horton wakes up."

"No, no, no- that's right," said Jim, starting to stand up himself.

Geraldine rested her chin on her hands and smiled to herself. "You know, I always forget Harry hasn't been in the village for that long. It seems so hard for me to think of a time before he was around."

Frank smiled. "Ah, young love."

"That's the beauty of it, it makes fools of us all," Hugo contributed. "Like Harry and Geraldine, like Romeo and Juliet, like Carl and Ellie from the film with the house that had all the balloons coming out of the roof…"

"Like luscious Letitia," said Jim. "She knew the light of love in her youth too. Like a bunny on steroids."

"Behave Jim," said Geraldine, before a naughty glint entered into her own eyes. "Although, that gets me thinking… maybe I should introduce Harry to Letitia's greatest legacy…"

The rest of March passed with the days slowly getting longer though the weather was nothing more nor less than the typical March in Oxfordshire, Britain. Life remained pretty much the same in Dibley and thus it came to the run up to Easter. It was a normal Good Friday as Harry looked through some work on his computer next to the window in the living room (one of those rare weekends where he was at home rather than working in London thanks to the bank holiday weekend and he planned on cherishing it) while Geraldine sat on the sofa talking to her verger and best friend Alice Horton after the day's sermon had finished. The Vicarage had changed little since Harry had moved in; the most noticeable differences being the addition of a few bookshelves and the absence of Sean Bean, his spot next to Jesus on the wall now being filled by a photo of Geraldine and Harry from their wedding day.

The work itself was proving rather tedious, so Harry found himself listening in on their conversation which had turned to Alice's eldest daughter Geri.

"I'm just worried that she's going through one of those teenage rebellion stages and I don't know how to handle it," Alice explained to Geraldine. From the tone of her voice she seemed close to tears.

"Oh dear," said Geraldine, pulling Alice into a hug.

"She's on her phone the whole time, and I can't get her out of bed in the morning and then she hangs around all day outside the village shop with that group of friends," Alice continued.

"Ah dear, she's becoming a youth," Geraldine sighed.

"I mean, only yesterday she threw her teddy out of the window, and Po has always been her favourite Teletubby so I don't know what brought that on," said Alice, looking scandalised at why her daughter shouldn't like the Teletubbies anymore.

"Remind me, how old is little Geri now?" Geraldine asked.

"Eighteen."

Though this seemed obvious to Geraldine and Harry, to Alice the concept of her daughter growing out of those childish habits must have been a very odd idea indeed.

"Right." Geraldine stood up and moved round the back of the sofa. "I don't think there's any need to fret, we all go through that stage at some point. I bet even you Little Miss Tinker could be a handful when you were a teenager."

Under Geraldine's pointing finger Alice buckled. "Well, there was one point where I went through a period of not wanting to eat potatoes with the skins on, and I would throw them on the floor and storm to my room and refuse to eat them, but then one day I tried melting some butter on them and I realised that I did in fact like potatoes with the skins on."

This comparison seemed off to Harry, but he kept his mouth shut.

"You see! You see!" Geraldine declared, determined to work with what Alice had given her. "Even you were a little rebel! And besides, with two fluffy bunnies like you and Hugo as parents what child could possibly stay angry for long?"

There was a knock at the front door and Alice jumped up to answer it. Harry turned to look at his wife.

"Ah, it's a miracle the whole pack of children hasn't made a dash to get across the Channel the instant they turned their backs," Geraldine shot at him in a light humoured way, though with perhaps a touch of true pity for the Horton clan. Alice and Hugo had ten children (six daughters and four sons) and they had all been given the pinkest and fluffiest upbringing possible.

Harry grinned and turned back to his work, but he was still distracted. Though he and Geraldine had indeed talked about children (and tried for them) they had never got anywhere with it. He tried to put it out of his mind when Alice came back pulling her husband Hugo along with her.

"Look who it is!" she announced to Geraldine.

"Hello Vicar," said Hugo.

"Hugo, and Hugo's tie," said Geraldine, noting the rather bright green tie Hugo was sporting that day. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, and look- I brought little Geraldine along with me!"

Harry turned around as Alice and Hugo's eldest daughter (and Geraldine's god-daughter) Geri entered the room and saw that Alice actually had good cause for worry. Geri seemed to have taken it upon herself to rebel against everything that her parents had put upon her in her upbringing, doing away with the pink princess look and instead sporting black punk clothes with several piercings. Her hands and eyes were glued to her mobile. She looked very inch an emo.

Geraldine did her best to smile despite her distain of the addition of a gothic looking cross. "Ah, my, you certainly aren't little anymore. How's it going Geri?"

Geri barely looked up from her phone. "Hi Aunty Gerri."

"Come here and give your Aunty a big hug." Geraldine pulled Geri into a big hug which Geri reluctantly returned, though her mobile remained in her hand the whole time.

"Ah, we need to get some meat on you otherwise there won't be anything left for me to hug," Geraldine declared, releasing Geri. "Would you like some chocolate?"

"Yeah," Geri all but grunted.

"What do you say?" Alice groaned.

"Yes please Aunty Gerri," Geri corrected herself. Harry knew that in truth Geri liked her visits to "Aunty Gerri's" house, but more likely her attitude was just put on in front of her parents.

"It's on the table. Go on, help yourself," said Geraldine, waving her god-daughter over to the living room table. Harry sat back and took his glasses off as Geri made to move past him.

"Hello Geri," he smiled up at her.

"Hello Uncle Harry," Geri replied. Giving a nervous glance towards her parents she gave Harry a quick hug before sitting down on the sofa, her nose glued to her mobile again.

As he was getting nowhere with his work Harry stood up and returned a greeting from Hugo before asking- "Why don't I go and put the kettle on?"

"That would be lovely, thank you," said Geraldine. "Would you like a cuppa Geri?"

Geri half turned around but quickly corrected herself.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"I'll bring some biscuits out as well," Harry offered.

"Oh lovely!" said Alice.

Harry went into the kitchen and busied himself with the things for tea and plucked a packet of Digestive biscuits from the cupboard. Around five minutes later he returned to the living room with five mugs and a plate of biscuits neatly assorted on a tray.

"As I was walking here I noticed some strange men knocking on the door of the church, carrying tool kits and wearing funny hats," Hugo was saying.

"Oh, that will be the builders," Geraldine said excitedly. "God they're early, I'd better go and meet them-"

"Builders?" Harry enquired as he set the tray down on the table. This was the first he'd heard of builders.

"Yes, we're looking at the feasibility of putting a heated swimming pool in the chapel. All of the modern churches have them now," Geraldine explained. It seemed mad to Harry but he didn't mention it. "Harry, I won't be gone long-"

"OK," he said. It seemed he'd made tea for nothing. However as Geraldine and Alice got their coats the phone rang. Geraldine made to answer it but Alice got there first.

"Hello, this is Geraldine's phone speaking- well, Geraldine and Harry's phone now, and not the actual phone because that would be weird, but this is Alice talking to you from the phone of the Kennedy residence," Alice said into the receiver. Her face lit up as she heard the voice on the other end. "Oh hello!"

"Who is it?" Geraldine asked, obviously annoyed.

"Oh no…" Alice responded to whatever was being said, her face falling.

"What? What is it?" Geraldine pressed on.

Alice turned to her, the receiver still at her ear. "It's Jim, he says he's fallen over and he's put his back out."

"Is he OK?"

Alice listened again. "Alright, yeah. He says the doctor has seen him and he's under orders to rest-" she put the phone back to her ear "-oh, but he's left the remote control next to the TV and he can't get up to change the channel so it's stuck on The Paul O'Grady Show."

"Oh, the poor man," Geraldine sighed. "I'll be right over- but I've got to go to the church- argh!"

Harry could see Geraldine was torn between her need to get to the church and her need to check on her poor parishioner. Since he was stuck with his work anyway Harry decided to try to make himself useful to her.

"Why don't I go and sort out Jim's TV while you're at the church and I'll tell him you'll be over to see him later," he offered. Geraldine looked relieved at this.

"Oh, could you? That would be brilliant, I love you so much," Geraldine kissed Harry and quickly exited.

"Yeah, Harry's on his way over now. OK, bye bye!" Alice finished to the phone before putting it down and leaving after Geraldine. Hugo took this as his cue to go so Harry pulled on a coat over his jumper and took a walk over to Jim's.

After a minute Geri looked up from her phone, looked around and realised everybody had left. She quickly grabbed a biscuit before leaving the Vicarage.

On arriving at Jim's house, Harry found him in bed propped up on a small mountain of cushions with Paul O'Grady on the TV screen interviewing some non-entity. Harry gave a slight knock before entering the bedroom.

"Hello Jim."

"Oh, hello Harry," Jim replied.

"How's your back?"

"No-no-no-no- not so great," Jim mumbled. "The doctor said I should rest it for a couple of days."

"Oh dear, well let's get your TV sorted out-" Harry picked up the remote control from where it had been left next to the TV at the foot of the bed and sat down in the chair next to Jim, flicking through the channels.

"It was fine before, what with Tipping Point and The Chase, and that lovely Anne Hegerty was on today," Jim explained. "She can chase me any time."

It was good to see Jim hadn't lost any of his spirit. "Well let's find you something else to watch for now," said Harry, settling on Pointless on BBC One. "There you go."

"Ah, thank you," said Jim as Harry placed the remote on the bedside table.

"Is there anything else I can get you? A drink? Something from the shop perhaps?" Harry offered.

"No-no-no-no No, thank you," said Jim. "Although, there is something you could do. I do it every year but what with my back and all I don't think I could do it this year."

Harry felt happy to help. "Of course Jim, what is it?"

Jim beckoned Harry towards him and leaned over slightly to whisper in his ear. Harry's face registered utter shock. He had never done anything like that before in his life. After a moment Jim looked him in the eyes.

"Could you do that? Only if it's not too much trouble of course."

"Err, of course Jim," said Harry, though now feeling more than slightly unwilling to do so. "Although why don't we see how your back is? You never know, by tomorrow you might be up and right as rain."

"We'll see, we'll see," Jim nodded wisely before touching his nose. "It will be our little secret."

As unwilling as he was to complete the task at hand, Harry spent much of Saturday preparing in secret should he be called upon if Jim's back failed to improve, lying about suddenly being called to work in order to get to town to buy all the provisions he would need. That was how he found himself on Saturday evening on the sofa sorting Easter Eggs into a wicker basket and trying to improve his homemade attempt at coat-hanger rabbit ears.

The front door opened and Geraldine called through "I'm back." She had been at the church for much of the day working on her Easter sermon and talking to the builders. Panicking, Harry threw the wicker basket into the nearest cabinet and chucked the ears behind the cushion he was sat on. He managed it before Geraldine walked in looking completely exhausted. "Well that was a total fiasco. It turns out there's not enough room in the chapel for a swimming pool after all. They did give me an offer on what it would cost to have a Jacuzzi fitted, but I said I'd sleep on it."

Harry did his best to not look too guilty. "Right." The ears were sticking into his side through thee cushion, proving rather distracting for him.

"Still, I managed to get my sermon for tomorrow sorted, oh and I popped in on Jim on the way back." Harry looked up at this, possibly his last chance of getting out of this unscathed. "He's perked up but it looks like he'll be bed-bound until at least Easter Monday."

Harry put his head in his hands. "Damn."

"Pardon?"

"Um… damn finances," Harry invented wildly. "Now that the tax office have realised Owen is in fact alive they've been asking for his account records."

His hurried lie seemed convincing enough for Geraldine and she thankfully didn't press the matter.

"Oh dear. Well why don't you leave those damn finances and join me for an early night?" Geraldine took his hands and pulled him tantalisingly towards the stairs. As great as that sounded, Harry grimaced and pulled back.

"Uh, in a bit. I'll only be a little while. You go up, I'll be there soon."

"OK. Don't be too long," Geraldine smiled as she walked upstairs. Once he heard her feet on the landing Harry got back to work and started on the tail. And there had to be a better way of sorting the ears...

At around four o'clock the next morning Harry slipped stealthily out of bed without waking Geraldine, sneaked downstairs and silently pulled on the white fluffy costume that he had brought from the town the previous day. He pulled the giant feet on over his shoes and though he suspected it would be cold outside he thought the furry onesie should give him enough warmth. He put the ears on the top of his head (he had settled on attaching them to a white headband) and got to work using the face paint. The effect was minimal though enough to hint at a bunny -nose, whiskers and teeth- but he certainly hoped nobody would see him like this while he was out that morning.

He stood back and admired his work in the mirror. He certainly did look a spectacle. With one last embarrassed sigh he pulled on the white gloves for paws, picked up the basket full of eggs and slipped out the front door, careful not to make any noise as he left.

Harry moved slowly through the dark streets at first, worried that someone might see him, though after he had left the eggs at the first few houses on his route and had established there was nobody to be seen this early in the morning he started to feel a bit more confident.

The village certainly did have a different feel to it this early in the morning. Only a couple of street-lamps remained on at this time and the roads were cold and empty, though Harry found this suited him fine right now. He soon had a plan of the best places to hide the eggs in a way that they were only half concealed so they would still be easy to find come a few hours time.

Moving onto the church he left a number dotted around the old graveyard outside, thinking it might be a nice surprise for Geraldine when she went to church for morning mass.

Other than a dog in a garden which had jumped up and started barking at him when he'd tried to get through the front gate which had caused him to go scuttling off for fear of waking the whole neighbourhood, the night had been fairly uneventful. Thus as the sky was starting to become lighter he came to Dibley Manor.

Harry crept up to the house and left a collection of eggs half-concealed on the front porch for the Horton clan, but as he turned there was a loud giggle. Looking around in alarm he saw Geraldine, David, Hugo, Jim and Geri appear from around the side of the manor. Geri had her phone out and had probably -Harry realised- been recording the whole thing.

"What's up doc?" Geraldine laughed.

"Geraldine, what- what are you all doing here?" Harry looked at them like a rabbit in the headlights, not quite clocking what was going on.

They could barely contain their laughter but Geraldine managed to get out- "I think it's fair to say-"

"April Fool!" they all chorused.

Harry put his paw on his forehead and gave a loud sigh, feeling every bit the gullible idiot that he was.

Later that day after the Easter sermon had finished, the parish council (along with Alice) returned to the Vicarage for a drink. Harry managed to corner Geraldine in the kitchen where she was preparing tea and coffee.

"Don't think I won't get you back for this," he whispered in her ear.

"Hmm, I look forward to seeing you try," Geraldine retorted. "I hope you kept the costume, I might take you up to my burrow later for a bit of bunny action! You made a very cute rabbit, it has to be said. Lovely tail"

Geraldine handed him the tea tray and gave his backside a cheeky squeeze as Harry walked through to the living room where everyone was gathered.

"Sure you wouldn't rather be setting up your Jacuzzi in the chapel?" he replied.

"All part of our elaborate ruse, I'm afraid," she admitted. "Although I'm sure if our beloved Councillor Horton could find it in himself to donate the funds to the church-"

"Over my dead body," was the response David gave.

"So you're telling me that this Letitia Cropley managed to get the entire village dressed up as Easter Bunnies while on her deathbed," said Harry, still marvelling as he handed the tea around. "She does indeed sound like an incredible woman."

"Indeed she was," said Geraldine.

"Wonderful sermon Vicar," Hugo said, receiving his tea from Harry.

"Aw, thank you Hugo."

"Truly special," Frank agreed.

"Yes, and I'm sure we all enjoyed finding the chocolate eggs that Harry had hidden around the church afterwards," said Geraldine. Another dig. Harry had a feeling this wasn't going to go away any time soon.

"Ah well, at least the joy on the faces of the children who found the eggs afterwards sort of made it worthwhile," said Harry, which was true enough. Everybody had been delighted to see the Dibley Bunny had done its rounds in the night, particularly Alice (though Geraldine did have to explain it to her in a certain way that this year Harry had to organise things for the bunny instead).

"I found what I thought was a chocolate egg," Jim announced loudly. "Which I ate, but it turned out a dog had left it and it wasn't as chocolatey as I thought."

"I made a chocolate cake especially for Easter Sunday," said Frank, producing a sticky cake on a plate already cut into slices and decorated with mini eggs. "I hope you would all try a piece."

There were general sounds of delight and gratitude from the room and Harry -who was nearest to Frank- picked up a large slice and the rest of the cake soon disappeared into other hands. Harry bit into the cake but was soon gagging and spitting it out when he encountered a taste that he had not been expecting. It was quite vile and soon everybody else had spat it out again.

"God, that's horrible, what's in it?" Harry gagged.

"There's definitely orange," said Alice, who, unlike everybody else, seemed to like the cake. Or at least she had taken a second bite.

"No, it's something else," said Harry, turning his slice over in his hand. "I think it's the icing."

Geraldine and David looked at each other knowingly. "Branston Pickle."

Harry felt himself retching again and quickly threw his piece of cake into the bin.

"What was that for Frank?" Geraldine demanded.

"Well," Frank hesitated. "When you said we should introduce Harry to Letitia's legacy, I thought you meant her cooking."

Harry stared at them, realising the depth of how far this prank sunk. He got the feeling that this had been planned out ever since they had brought up Letitia's name at the council meeting nearly a month ago.

David still looked annoyed. "You could have warned the rest of us."

"Ah," said Frank, a mischievous twinkle appeared in his eyes. "April Fools!"

Later that night Harry was waiting in the vestry for Geraldine and Alice to walk them home from Evensong and decided to try out a joke.

"So, a bloke with a big afro is driving down the road, and he's not really watching where he's going and suddenly bang- he hits a rabbit. And he feels guilty so he gets out of the car and goes to it and a police car pulls up to find out why he's stopped. The man admits to hitting the rabbit, so the policeman walks over to the man's car and returns with a bottle of liquid which he pours over the rabbit and it jumps back to life and hops away. The man says 'That's incredible, what is that stuff?' and the policeman replies 'Hair restorer!'"

Harry laughed at the cleverness of his own joke but Geri just looked at him with a blank glare.

"Because you see 'hair' is made to sound like 'hare'-" he started to explain.

"I got it," said Geri. "It was just terrible."

"Was it really that bad?" Harry asked.

"No. Just no," said Geri.

"No. OK then," Harry sighed, taking a sip of his tea. He doubted he would ever get the hang of this.