Author's Note: This one-shot is dedicated to my friend in French class, Ze Operator (he just opened an account on FictionPress, actually), for giving me the inspiration for this, and also to my Creative Writing teacher, Miss Morris. Miss Morris is the absolute best any teacher can be, and is definitely my favorite. I'm even posting this for a grade in her class! With her permission! Isn't that awesome?!

So anyways, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds, Code Geass, or Code MENT (the things referenced most often in this story). I do own my OCs and muses, though.

PREPARE FOR COMPLETE AND UTTER INSANITY. Seriously, this story's alternative title is "Why I Am Insane". Also be prepared for randomness and the lack of a fourth wall even existing.

There is a room inside of my head. …Well, it's more like the room is the inside of my imagination (the rest of the house has been sort-of dubbed hammerspace, but I don't know if I like the name). It's a pretty expansive, rectangular room with giant red bean bags scattered haphazardly across the floor even when they aren't in use. There's an arcade machine in the corner. It used to be Mortal Kombat. Somehow it turned into Pac-Man. I have a desk in the corner with my laptop on it. There's a bottomless mini-fridge underneath it, for when I get hungry while losing myself in this illusory world. There's the corner over by the window, converted into a shrine to fictional characters by Lucy. Looks like her current character of worship is Lelouch from Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion.

Oh, and I can't forget the garbage can next to my desk. Poor thing has a tendency to spontaneously combust when Shade gets angry.

And then there's the black door, standing out against the bright-red, fireproof walls. No, that isn't the exit. That is the entrance to the closet… the Closet of Doom. Don't go in there unless you want to die or be mentally scarred for life. That's where all the horrifying ideas my muses have are stored. Like the chainsaw-wielding mutant chickens… don't ask.

For once, the room is peaceful. Granted, that's probably because none of my muses are in here right now…

…Huh? You don't know what muses are? They're people who live in this room (normally), and are the ones who come up with all of my ideas. I have eight of them, but they're horribly disproportioned. By that, I mean I have one neutral muse, three good (though one of them can turn very evil if her ships are threatened), and four that are probably the most evil things in existence.

Joseph is my neutral muse. He has short brown hair and bright green eyes, and looks like he's only seven. Of course, he's also quite insane. He'll side with whichever side offers him more cookies, making him side with evil more often than good.

Lucy is the oldest of my muses even though she looks the same age as Joseph. She just happens to be really short. Her outfits are always some bizarre combination of pink and jeans, not always a good combination with her white hair and red eyes. Her evilness is only overshadowed by her EXTREME obsession with fire. (Then again, like all of my muses are pyromaniacs in some way. Yes, I know that's super weird.) Lucy generally gets priority when it comes to story ideas, thanks to being my first muse ever.

Shade's the one who looks the oldest, but he isn't. He's a thirty-something year old guy with black hair and pitch-dark eyes spotted with red. He's ALWAYS wearing his pinstriped black suit with that stupid red tie of his. Seriously, he wears that suit EVERYWHERE. Don't make him angry, though. He has a tendency to set things on fire with his mind when that happens (the melted garbage can by my desk is proof of that). …He's obviously one of my evil muses. Oh yeah, funny story about how he came to be: he actually used to be a character in a story I was writing with a friend of mine at school. Somehow he managed to transcend the boundary of OC and muse in there.

It seems I'm describing my evil muses right now, so I might as well talk about Meri and Muse-Jack now. Those two are literally the same, the only difference being Meri is a girl and Muse-Jack is a guy. They actually look like the right age (sixteen), standing at about 5'7", with dirty blonde hair and green eyes. They're always wearing jeans and a white shirt. NEVER. LET. THEM. HAVE. SCISSORS. You have been warned. I will not be responsible for the apocalypse.

(If you're wondering why I refer to him as Muse-Jack, it's because there's also a character named Jack—completely different person—and have to differentiate the two. Constantly.)

Then there's Faith, my newest muse. She's also my die-hard shipper, as evidenced by her name and appearance (magenta colored hair and deep cerulean eyes). Why is this proof of her being a die-hard shipper? She is basically the combination of Akiza Izinski and Yusei Fudo from Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds, what used to be my OTP of OTPs (now I ship too many pairings to pick a favorite from them). That pairing? It's called FaithShipping. So yeah. Faith. She's generally super nice, and always makes people laugh when she cosplays as some random character from some random franchise. Of course, she will cause the apocalypse MULTIPLE TIMES if anyone tries to mess with our ships.

Rudolph is my first one-hundred-percent good muse, but he has a super… crazy backstory. He's actually Joseph's older brother, and spent several years of his life trapped in the body of a stuffed dog after dying in a car accident (Joseph is the one who bound his soul to the toy). Recently, though, he was able to become human again. He looks like a sixteen-year-old version of Joseph… if Joseph spiked up his bangs like antennae and constantly wore a bright-red vest.

Finally, there's Piano. She also used to not be human, just like Rudolph. She was a Pokémon called a Flabébé up until the same event that turned Rudolph human. This ends up making her look like a SUPER blonde girl with a red flower in her hair. She generally goes around in a purple tunic or kimono… and sandals. No matter the weather. Oh yeah, she's my other one-hundred-percent good muse.

Got that? Good, I'm not explaining again.

I plop down at my desk, ready to work on one of my stories, when I feel something wet land on my head. Instantly my face scrunches up in disgust as I slowly look up to see where the… substance came from. A cocoon of duct tape on the ceiling, a brown-haired boy by the name of Joseph stuck inside. The substance was his saliva because he's out cold. Why does he like sleeping like that…? I think.

The boy snorts, his green eyes snapping open. He blinks a couple times before he realizes where he is, and grins at me. "Hi Shimmer! The Duck Tape trapped me! Can you get me down from here?" he chirps.

"I told you quit it with the duct tape…" I grumble, snapping my fingers. The magic works instantly, dropping my insane-but-neutral muse onto the floor.

He scrambles to his feet, crying, "No, you don't understand! It was the Duck Tape who trapped me. D-U-C-K."

…Oh. Well, I can't say I'm surprised. "Where did it go?"

"Back into the Closet of Doom."

I shiver at the thought. "Okay… well, do you know where the others are?"

"Hmm…" The boy's face scrunches up thoughtfully. It's kind of weird to see, considering he looks like he's only seven years old. "No idea!" he settles on. "Eh, wait…" He pops his index finger over his mouth as he stares at the ceiling. "Actually, I think Lucy went shark fishing with Akron, Meri and Muse-Jack are causing havoc over in the Distortion World, Shade's chilling in the Closet of Doom, Piano and Rudolph are out picking up flowers, and Faith is busy trying to figure out who she's gonna cosplay next. So yeah. I do know where they are!"

I keep note of where he thinks they are, and scowl over Meri and Muse-Jack's choice of entertainment. I told them not to use Kitty the Giratina to travel to that world and cause havoc… Then again, the only rule any of my muses seem to want to follow is no killing the other muses. I might as well be talking to brick walls otherwise.

And that's when the window turns into a giant purple portal to nowhere, aka the Distortion World. In come Meri and Muse-Jack on the back of what looks like a demonic black-and-gold serpent with six black tentacle thingies with red spikes on the ends of them. The portal—and the monster—disappear simultaneously as the twin muses land on the floor, laughing impossibly hard.

I tap my foot impatiently, waiting for them to settle down. "Where were you two?"

Meri looks me right in the eyes. "We were at soup," she deadpans.

The facepalm is not optional. Smacking myself so hard… probably was, but it gets my point across better. "You're not Code MENT!Suzaku. You cannot be at soup. What were you two doing?"

"We were buying clothes," Meri insists.

"…I just said you were NOT Code MENT!Suzaku. You were not at the soup store attempting to buy clothes. WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING?!"

"Destroying stuff in the Distortion World…" Muse-Jack replies.

And that satisfies my curiosity relating to them, at least. "Thank you. Get your things together; we really need to work on the things for the portfolio. And by that, I mean go work on tearing apart the memoir and fixing it."

"Neh… fine," Meri says, grabbing her twin and vanishing in a puff of smoke. I just hope they do their work…

That's when something loud and heavy rams into the door of the Closet of Doom… from the inside. I'm glad I invested in Everything Shielding the door last month, otherwise I can't even begin to imagine what sort of insanity would have busted through that door. …Actually, the door doesn't really have an Everything Shield since my muses are allowed to go through it whenever… and apparently that duck made out of duct tape can travel through it as well.

In any case, the door flies open, and in flies—yes, flies—Shade, a marvelous grin on his face. I think there's something in his hands, but I don't get a good look at it before it turns to ash. He lands upside-down on one of the giant bean bags, and remains there, staring at me while the blood doesn't rush to his head. Because, you know, screw logic and physics. "I heard you call. What is it that you need?" he asks. He sounds like this voice actor named Troy Baker, but I can't tell if it's because he's trying to imitate Schneizel from Code Geass or Blackquill from Ace Attorney. Or both. Both is always an answer when it comes to my muses.

"We have to work on the portfolio for Creative Writing. You do realize we have less than a week and we aren't done yet, right?"

"Ehh… I cannot help that Memories of Destruction has required all of our attention as of late, particularly planning for the… what did you decide to dub that chapter again? The 'wham-tastical chapter of evsanity'?" He flips himself back into a normal seated position, smirking because he knows he is right.

(If you guys don't have any idea what this means, Memories of Destruction is my Code Geass fanfiction, and 'evsanity' is a term I ended up coining that means the perfect blend of evil and insanity. You're welcome. Continue reading. …Pizza bagels. Sorry, wanted to see if you're paying attention to this… and if you get the reference. I'm done now. Bye.)

"Whatever, school work comes before fanfiction," I grumble, throwing him a stack of stapled paper. "Work on editing those, okay?"

He gives it the evil eye before giving me the same. "Okay, first off, blasphemy on fanfiction not coming first, and secondly, you know I detest poetry. Why do you want me to edit it?"

Ugh, my muses and their backwards priorities… I pinch the bridge of my nose (then regret it when that causes me to divulge into a coughing fit so bad it brings tears to my eyes). When I can breathe again, I shoot him a glare (he'd started laughing at me). "I was going to say because you're the most sophisticated of my muses and all of you hate writing poetry, but now it's punishment for laughing at me."

He scowls, rolling his eyes, and refuses to speak anymore. But hey, at least he's decided to listen to me and actually gets to work editing the poems for the poetry section of the portfolio.

And with that out of the way, looks like my next two muses are back. Rudolph and Piano pop up in the front door, completely covered in pollen and roses. Except Piano looks a LOT happier than normal… and there is a tiny white creature with long ears shaped like extended butterfly wings, a crown made of yellow balls of pollen on its head, and the lower half of its body a green stem. The creature's arms are wrapped around the center of a dark pink flower larger than itself. In other words, a Red Flower Flabébé.

"…Where did you get that Pokémon from?"

"Oh, you won't believe it, Shimmer!" Piano shouts. "Rudolph and I were out picking roses in this garden and I found her stuck in the middle of them! And guess what?! She's my little sister Forte!"

And that was absolutely not what I was expecting. "Your… little sister… Forte… Okay then. Mind officially blown." Though it's far from the first time that's happened, and it'll be far from the last. "Ah, whatever. She can stay, but she's not becoming a muse or turning human. Forte can be your… pet… I guess."

"YAY! YOU'RE THE BEST, SHIM!" Piano cheers, giving me a bear hug that almost literally crushes my rib cage.

When I can breathe again, I have another coughing fit. Then I look up at the two good muses and say, "Can you get to work editing the fairy tale, Piano, and you get to work editing The Epic Banjo, Rudolph? We've got to get this all done…"

They go off to do their stuff, and that's when Lucy shows up. Except… she's not alone. There is a giant floating bubble of seawater next to her… with a four-meter-long great white shark in swimming around inside of it. "Hey guys! Look at what I caught with Akron!"

"No," I instantly say. I already know exactly what she wants, and she does not need a shark here. "No, you can't keep that shark."

"But Shimmer! He's adorable!"

Yeah, if by 'adorable' you mean ugly grey and lots of sharp teeth… "The shark or Inferno. Your choice."

The bubble and its occupant vanish instantly. Lucy would never give up her demon sword. Never. …Well, unless she found out about the Pink Fire of the Apocalypse, but that would never happen. Joseph swore to never speak of it again…

"Fine then, no shark for me," Lucy grumbles. "What d'you need?"

"We have to work on the portfolio for Creative Writing, and your job is to work on finishing and/or gathering the original pieces."

My white-haired evil muse stares at me for a moment, pulling on the corner of her lips with an index finger as she debates whether or not to follow my instructions. "So… I can gather all of the evsanity and stuff…?"

"If that's what you want to. Just remember it has to be school-appropriate… Please don't microwave people or something like that…" I shake my head; I wouldn't put it past her to try to slip something past me. "Anyways, there needs to be four of them."

"Four? I thought Miss Morris said five?"

"I'm handling the fifth one," I say, a smirk on my face. My muses have no idea this is a story right now. Heheheh…

She shoots me a questionable glare, but decides not to follow up on it. She shrugs, heading over to the bean bag next to her character shrine, and sets to work.

So then… Faith is the only one who hasn't gone to work yet. Where is she?

THUD. SMASH.

The front door explodes inward, shattered by blades of wind. In runs an orange-haired woman with grey eyes, dragging an older woman with golden hair. The golden-haired woman is unconscious… a stream of blood trailing out from the back of her head.

I'd better pause for a moment. This isn't how I expected to introduce my two major OCs.

The older one with golden-hair (silver streaks mixed into it) is Sky Fudo, meant to be the older sister of Yusei Fudo from Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds. She has heterochromia, one of them being blue and the other golden. Most of the time you'll see her in jeans and a white tank-top, a silver jacket hanging from her shoulders.

The other is Angel Hogan, meant to be the younger twin of Crow Hogan, also from Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds. She's always in jeans as well—much more worn than Sky's—and wears a brown leather vest over an orange T-shirt. Angel is… a lot more profane than Sky, though. (Except that one version of Sky…)

I have a few more, but they don't have entire stories about them. Shoshan… and I guess S.S. and Z.Z. (pronounced S2 and Z2) sort of count?

N-Never mind. I'd tell you more about them, but they kind of change personalities and backstories based on the story, and that would mean spoiling them all if you haven't read them. So… yeah. Let's go back to this story.

"What's going—"

"PUT AN EVERYTHING SHIELD ON THE DOOR! NOW!" Angel screams at me, dropping Sky's head on a bean bag before she collapses on another one.

I scoot back a little, but follow the order. If Angel is this scared, and Sky is unconscious…

"Whoa, what did I miss?!" Lucy asks, looking up from her papers.

"Faith… she…" Angel gulps in air for a few seconds. "Faith finally settled on cosplaying as Yuno Gasai from Future Diary (aka Mirai Nikki), and she happened to stumble upon me, Sky, Shoshan, S.S., and Z.Z. having a friendly debate about guessing who Lelouch would end up being paired with in Memories of Destruction. Shoshan suggested Kallen, and S.S. suggested C.C. Then Z.Z. was being a dick as he always is and was like, 'why not make it a harem?' and laughed it off because he was joking. I don't know. Sky and I had settled on Shirley… but Sky said she'd be fine with whatever pairing."

"…Don't tell me…"

"Yeah. She decided to channel the persona of the ax-happy sociopath and try to slaughter the lot of us. Even me! Why would she want to kill me when I clearly said that I'd only be okay with Shirlulu?!" And then Angel passed out.

Great. Faith's gone into NOtp mode. That means she'd gone beyond just wanting to brutally murder anyone who ships (or is okay with) a pairing that is not the one that we ship, she wants to get rid of all life except the two characters in the supposedly threatened pairing. This has happened before, right around when she was created and was EXTREMELY against me reading a fanfiction that was Yusei/OC instead of Yusei/Akiza. We just have to wait it out. She'll calm down in about three hours. In the meantime, she's trapped in the hammerspace section of the house. It's in lockdown, after all…

Sure enough, she ends up stumbling into the imagination room, dead tired after about three hours of non-stop raging. She's no longer cosplaying as Yuno, but has returned to her normal appearance, a cloak covering most of her body. She gives me a crazy look, and promptly passes out.

"Well. Two unconscious OCs, one unconscious muse, and no idea where three OCs are. Why does this feel familiar, exactly?" Oh right. Because this is one of the tamer days inside of my imagination.

Author's Note Part 2: Yep. That's the story. Did your mind explode at all?

Please review!

Oh! And to the fans of my 5Ds stories (namely Midnight Sun and Crimson Fall), I'm going to get back to work on those come summer break which is less than two weeks away! Woohoo!