Nadia is gone...taken from her team, her family. Each of them blamed themselves for her death, each of them has had to face more demons than any mortal being should ever have to face in a lifetime. They were protectors, and they had been unable to protect her. Adam was the last to see her, Jay knew her plan to get the cake, Erin knew she was planning something...and Voight...he didn't force her to stay inside where it was safe even though in his gut he knew something wasn't right. The entire team knew that he was dangerous, that he was the killer...none of them ever imagined that he would come after Nadia, she was not even a police officer...yet...and now she would never get the chance.

When Amaro called out, "We've got her." Voight, Jay and Erin's hearts dropped into their stomachs and Jay reached for Erin, shocked and unbelieving, just wanting to feel comfort...and to provide comfort for his Partner, his best friend, the woman he hoped he would one day have a chance to be with. After the three of them saw her laying their dead Voight gruffly ordered him to cover her up as the tears formed in his eyes, watching as Erin's heart shattered in front of his eyes Jay wrapped her in his arms and Hank felt Olivia's hand on his own back.

The world didn't stop around the four of them but it felt like it should. They stood there as her body was put into a bag and taken away in the van, Erin collapsing into the muddy sand as the doors were closed. They all allowed their tears to fall silently as the anger was ready to boil over. "Our team will take it from here." They heard Olivia tell Voight who only nodded in response.

"No media on this. We need to tell them in person." Jay whispered breaking the silence as he thought of how the rest of their team would react to the news. They had delivered the news of deaths to family and friends before but it was never like this...it was never their own little sister.

"Got you seats on the next flight to O'Hare. When we can we will bring her home to you." Amaro said a few minutes later as he placed a comforting hand on Jay's shoulder.

"Let me take you all back to the hotel...you need to change and get to the airport." Olivia told Hank as she led him to her car, Jay half carrying Erin behind them as she continued to sob silently wrapping herself in his arms as Olivia drove them back to the hotel. At the hotel Jay carried Erin in and deposited her on the counter as he turned on the shower behind him. He slowly stripped her of her muddy and sand caked clothes before taking his own off and getting them both in the shower. Washing away the sand and mud and salty sea air from their bodies he held Erin's near full body weight as she clung to him.

"Plane leaves in a little over an hour." Voight said exhaustively as he walked into the bathroom leaving behind a fresh pair of clothes for each of the members of his team.

When Jay and Erin emerged from the bathroom a couple minutes later to find Hank leaning into Olivia crying Erin started to move towards the man she saw as a father but Jay held her back. She sat down on the bed and they watched as Olivia led him into the bathroom in the same manner that Jay had just helped her. Voight never let his guard down like that, never showed emotion like that...especially to someone he hardly knew. "They care about each other Linds, just go with it...he didn't try to kill me knowing that we were in the shower together." Jay said with a sad smile.

"She's really gone." Erin whispered as a fresh flood of tears fell from her eyes. Jay threw their belongings into the closest bags and tossed them by the door, doing the same things with Voight's bringing a fresh pair of clothes into the bathroom and gathering the dirty ones and throwing them into his suitcase. There was no such thing as privacy or personal space when they were so blind from the shock of discovering Nadia's body cold and gray, open eyes staring blankly up into the gray sky.

Olivia caught Jay's eye when he set the clothes silently on the counter. With a sad smile and soft voice, "I will be to Chicago as soon as I can...Please..."

"I will get them home." Jay promised her.

"Halstead...You take care of my girl. I will be fine." Hank gruffed as he reached for a towel. The lack of his typical roughness he usually aired was frightening to Jay. Their entire team, no matter what they went through were never this changed...but they had never lost someone like Nadia before, he knew things would get worse before they got better.

"Sure you will Sarge." Jay said walking back towards Erin who had curled herself up in a ball. She sat up and pulled her knees to her chest when he approached. "So help me Lindsay if you shut us out..."

"Promise me you won't give up on me." She whispered as he sat down behind her.

"You are my partner." He said pulling her damp hair back into a messy pony tail and kissing her neck.

"No matter what?" She asked him with a shaken voice.

"Always." Jay answered her, he was scared to death what the no matter what would entail...he knew it wouldn't be pretty...and it wouldn't be easy.

Voight walked out a few seconds later and nodded at Jay, "You ready?"

"Don't think I could ever be ready for this. Nadia...she should be coming home with us...not on a damn metal table getting cut apart to see what that bastard did to her." Erin answered for him as tears streamed down her face.

"Halstead." Voight barked trying to fight back his own unshed tears, he couldn't handle seeing his daughter as upset as she was. That was when Jay realized the difference between then and previous losses to the team...Erin...the one who was stronger than anyone...the one who always had her guard up...the one with the comforting words to say was completely broken and lost.

"We are right behind you." Jay answered, voice cracking. He pulled Erin up and after she wobbled on her first few steps he picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck and legs around his waist, he felt her tears soak through his sweatshirt as he carried her down to Olivia's waiting car.

By the time they reached the airport her tears had dried and her breathing had slowed, almost too slow, too calm, she had flipped her switch and was on autopilot. Jay and Erin grabbed their bags and said goodbye to Olivia. Jay turned around at the door and saw Olivia wipe a tear from Voight's eye before pulling him into a quick hug. When she let go Jay quickly turned around and followed Erin to check in for their flight.

They were rushed to their gate and immediately boarded the plane bypassing all security. The three of them shared row 26, right on the wing. Erin sat by the window, Voight on the isle. Jay was relieved to be between them so he could keep an eye on both. As much as he was hurting he knew Erin was far worse than he was and he needed to have her back as much as he knew she would push him away. He felt guilty for being almost more upset because she would shut him out than he was for the loss of his friend, almost. Voight was fiddling clumsily with his phone as they waited for boarding to be completed. Erin had leaned her head against the cool window and stared blankly out at the wing. Jay watched as Voight sent a message to Al saying they would be back in Chicago in a couple hours. When he got the message back asking if Nadia was with them his hands started to shake so bad that he could hardly hold the phone.

Jay reached over and grabbed the phone, shutting it off and putting it in his pocket. When Hank gave him a glare that would have induced a heart attack in most people Jay just whispered, "You know you can't answer that on the phone."

Voight slumped back into his seat resigned. His hands still shook as the flight attendants prepped the plane for takeoff. "I should have done things differently." Hank mumbled as the plane took off down the runway. Jay felt Erin reach over and he flipped up the armrest between them and she leaned into him and reached across and put her hand on Hank's arm. "I'm sorry Kid." He whispered to her feeling her touch.

"When is the last time you slept? You need to sleep." Erin asked him when she noticed his hands were shaking.

"Don't worry about me." Hank grumbled. Jay felt Erin shrug and she snuggled into Jay trying to hide her tears, she hated seeing her Dad upset and knew that there was about as much she could do to make him feel better as he could for her...nothing. As the plane climbed in the sky the whir of the engines lulled her to sleep. Jay saw Voight yawn and turned to look at him. "I said don't worry about me."

"Just relax would you...when we get there...you will need your energy." Jay told him.

Voight turned to face him, "I'm gonna need help with this."

"Then trust me. What's gonna happen on the plane?" Jay said making himself comfortable with his arm on the shared armrest between them.

"You sleeping too?" Hank asked Jay.

"Gonna try." Jay answered him as he closed his eyes. Hank took a deep breath, reclined his seat and closed his eyes, putting his arm on the armrest pushed up against Jay's arm seeking comfort he was too stubborn to ask for. Jay opened his eyes and looked at his boss, "Sarge?"

"I dont think I have been this exhausted since Camille died." He admitted.

"The last time you had to worry about her." Jay stated as he ran his fingers along Erin's cheekbone as she slept.

"She scared the shit out of me sometimes...how she is able to hold herself together when everyone else falls apart..."

"So when she falls apart...she can't do anything on the plane...between the two of us...we will figure out how to get her through this." Jay promised him.

"God I hope you are right." Hank told him trying to force the tears back that were threatening to fall.

"It is like a three hour flight to get back home..." When he watched Hank reach up and wipe a tear that slid down his cheek Jay flipped his hand around and put it on Hank's arm. "I swear to you nothing is going to happen between now and when we land." Hank nodded and closed his eyes, his hand still shaking slightly Jay did not let go but tightened the grip on his arm. "I've got this." He promised as he closed his eye to try to sleep but did not relax until he felt Hank's arm relax under his hand.

Erin woke up a couple hours later and smiled when she saw Hank's head on her partner's shoulder and Jay's head resting against Hank's. She quickly pulled out her phone and took a photo to capture the memory and to send it to Nadia...then she remembered Nadia would never see it and the weight of that hit her like a ton of bricks. She shared everything with Nadia, hell Nadia was the only one knew about her and Jay's sleepovers. The instant she tensed at her realization Jay woke up and looked at her. Without moving his shoulder that was being used as a pillow he reached over and pulled her back into his chest, "I've got you." He whispered in her ear when he saw the photo on her phone, "You know she would have plastered that all over the unit."

"It's my fault." Erin whispered so quietly Jay barely heard her but he held her tighter into him.

"This is not on you." He tried to assure her but knew it was falling on deaf ears. He only hoped it wouldn't send her too far over the edge that he couldn't pull her back. Jay knew that he had her until they put that bastard behind bars but the second that was done she would want to be in the wind. Erin fell back asleep quickly, she was completely spent both physically and emotionally. Jay leaned his head against his partner and closed his eyes to try to collect his thoughts as they flew from New York to Chicago.

The three of them woke up as the attendant made the announcement that they were coming in for a landing. Voight and Jay shared a look as Jay refused to loosen his hold on Erin. They quickly grabbed their bags and Jay led Erin through the airport and to the parking garage where Voight's car was waiting for them. They drove straight to the station without turning on their phones. "Take her up to my office. Do not stop or talk to anyone just go up and shut the door. I will go in the front and tell Trudy and meet you up there to tell the team. If Al follows you in just tell him to get everyone up there."

"This is going to suck." Jay mumbled as Voight parked his car. Leaving their bags in the car Jay and Erin walked hand in hand up the back entrance and straight through the bullpen and into the office where Erin collapsed into Hanks chair. "Wonder where everyone is." Jay said a few minutes later not really expecting an answer.

"I don't know how we are suppose to tell everyone she is gone." Erin said looking up at Jay who had gone and opened the blinds on the office to see when people came up.

"Anyone text you?" Jay asked her as he pulled out his and Voights phones and flipped them on.

"Nope...you?"

"Nope...telling everyone to get back here now." When Jay saw Voight leading Trudy up the stairs and into his office he felt the tears sting his eyes. The pure grief stricken cry he heard when Hank opened the door was worse than he ever imagined and he instinctively reached for Erin who jumped up out of the chair and towards Jay who enveloped her into his arms as Hank led Trudy to his now vacated chair slamming the door shut with his foot in the process. Hank kept a firm grip on her shoulder but he didn't allow any more contact than that. It was a start contrast to the man they had seen the last few days in New York. This was the Sargent, this was not the father or friend, he had fortified his walls, braced himself for the impossible task of informing the team one of their own was gone.

Jay saw through the crack in the blinds that Al, Adam and Antonio had come in and were joined very shortly after by Atwater, Burgiss and Roman. "Voight..." Jay started.

"I saw um Kid." He said looking up to Jay with the sad eyes of a friend and Jay knew that Voight was struggling to keep the walls up that he had worked so hard to construct.

"I can do this if you stay with Linds..." Jay volunteered with a pit in his stomach. He felt Erin squeeze him tight before letting go and nodding up at him with tears in her eyes.

As she walked over and sat down on Hanks desk, she reached for her fathers hand and he held tight. "Leave the door open...once they know..." Hank told him.

"We will have a family meeting." Erin said with a sad smile, "Nadia loved those..."

Fighting back his own tears Jay walked to the door, turning around quickly to face the tear stained faces of Platt and his partner and the sad eyes of his Boss. "You've got this Kid." Hank told him with a nod.

With a deep breath Jay opened the door and walked over to his desk, sitting down on the edge he looked around at the expectant faces. "Did you find her?" "That was a quick trip, where is she?" "I knew you guys would get her back." "Is she in the office?"