Jacin picked up a pair of swim trunks and looked around. "Why do these all look the same?"

Cinder snorted in agreement. Thorne looked scandalized.

"All look the same? What are you talking about? You haven't even scratched the surface!" Thorne looked at all the slightly confused faces around him. "Have any of you ever swum before?"

Cinder bit back an amused grin. "Well, last time I tried to do that, it didn't turn out so well."

Scarlet chuckled. "I have, but I'm not exactly male, so..."

Cress and Ze'ev looked at each other.

"There's not many opportunities to swim when you've been locked up or manipulated your whole life," Ze'ev deadpanned, gesturing to Cress and himself.

Thorne let out an exasperated sigh. "I suppose it is now my duty to teach you all how to choose swimwear. Well, the guys at least."

Every other person except Thorne looked terrified.

"What is this?" Ze'ev emerged from an aisle with a cackling Scarlet behind him. Everyone looked at what he was holding and Kai near immediately looked away, ears red. Jacin stared at it in horror.

"I expect Scarlet would know what it is," Thorne replied, smirking. It looked like a speedo, but with a pocket in the front. However, it looked much too tight to be mens' swimwear.

"European swimwear!" Scarlet snorted as her laughter died down. Thorne looked on the verge of howling with laughter himself.

"I am not wearing it," Kai stated.

"Since Wolf found it, doesn't that mean he should wear it?" Jacin said. It was clear that someone was going to be forced to try it on and Jacin was not going to be the one to do it.

"NO." Ze'ev's eyes were wide. Cinder's snort caused them all to turn.

"C'mon, even Cinder agrees!" Thorne jeered.

"I never-"

"You have to now!" Thorne urged.

"...The sooner it's over... Thorne has to do it too, though," Ze'ev said. A wicked grin appeared on Thorne's face.

"Of course."

Ze'ev walked out of the changing room and nearly everyone gasped.

"Ze'ev..." Scarlet began, holding back laughter. He was looking everywhere but at them.

"Okay, I did it. I'm changing back."

"Wait, hold on!" Thorne called.

"Nope!" Even with his back turned, Ze'ev's entire neck was bright red.

He disappeared behind the racks.

Cress looked at Thorne. "What was that?"

Thorne looked at everyone. "I apologize."

Kai smirked, "So are you going to do it, Thorne?"

Cinder replied for him, "No."

"Will you find a swimsuit, Jacin?" Winter asked, looking up at him.

"He will," Kai responded. Jacin scowled.

"Why don't you go next?" Cress suggested. Thorne snorted.

"When am I ever going to swim?"

"It's just for the fun of it!" Winter said. Jacin rolled his eyes and agreed.

"What about this one?" Kai asked. It was a very plain, light green rash guard and a pair of black swim trunks. Jacin sighed.

"You're going to try something on," Scarlet insisted.

"It might as well be this one before Thorne finds something."

"Hey!"

Jacin grabbed the pair and walked to the changing room.

"...It would have been amusing to make him wear a speedo, though."

"Scarlet!"

Jacin walked back out and Winter smiled so widely.

"You look so... casual!"

Jacin's glare softened a little and Cress giggled.

"Yeah, you look like an actual human!" Thorne exclaimed.

"Why did I ever agree to this."

"Aw, c'mon, you're having fun."

"No, I am not."

The entire group burst into laughter.

"Keep telling yourself that, Jacin," Cinder remarked.

"I don't think he knows the word 'fun,'" Winter giggled. Jacin's stern look softened and, for a moment, he did look human.

"It looks okay?"

"Of course!" Winter smiled. They were all probably hallucinating, but it looked like Jacin smiled faintly as well.

"So, Thorne, you're next?" Jacin asked as soon as he got back. Everyone was still giving him amused side glances.

"Ha, no. I'm saving the best for last," Thorne smirked.

"Yeah, okay." Pause. Then a groan. Iko giggled a little bit.

"I wonder who's next..." The grin on Iko's face was huge. Thorne grinned brightly. He turned to Cinder.

"I have a perfect idea for-"

"No, we don't want to be blinded today."

"Hey! That's insensitive!"

"You got your eyesight back-"

"But still!"

"My point remains."

"I don't know whether I should be offended by this," Kai said.

"Oh, no! Not like that!" Iko squealed. "We'd all be blinded - in a good way!"

"Thanks?"

"...Still insensitive."

Kai gave a pointed look to Thorne. "I am not wearing anything you choose."

"Ze'ev and Jacin know you're missing out!"

Two vigorous head shakes. Several laughs.

"Fine..."

"I'll try and find one." This came, surprisingly, from Ze'ev. Everyone looked at him and he shrugged. "I know what not to look for." Even Thorne snickered.

He walked off to find something and came back several minutes later with a sleek looking pair of swim trunks.

"These were the first I could find that looked okay..."

Thorne began to open his mouth and Scarlet traded an amused look with Cinder. Kai didn't seem to really look at the swimsuit; he seemed more concerned about getting out of earshot by the time words came out of Thorne's mouth.

"Good luck," Jacin snorted.

Kai came back - face enflamed.

"Who even made these?" was his first question.

The swimwear was loose around the waist, then tight along the thighs.

It was an incredibly awkward design.

It would have looked awful on anyone who wore it.

Everyone took a few seconds to comprehend, "How did those even make it on store shelves?" and by the time they had, Kai had taken off to the changing rooms again.

"Ze'ev..." Scarlet began.

"I'm aware how bad of a decision that was."

"Yes."

Everyone looked horrified.

"...This is why people should let me pick out the swimsuits."

"THORNE."

"At least we've all been embarrassed a little today!" Winter smiled.

"Is that a good thing?" Scarlet mused.

Kai returned, face still red. "I've decided that I'm not going to purchase anything."

This brought a laugh from Cinder.

"Yes, you will."

"Maybe. But I'll be choosing my own."

"And last but never least!"

"Can we just skip your turn?" Cinder muttered. Thorne ignored her.

"Me!"

"I have a feeling you already have a swimsuit you've picked out for yourself..." Ze'ev said. Thorne grinned.

"An entire outfit."

"Oh my stars," Jacin groaned.

"You guys will love it."

"I'm sure." Kai.

"Okay, stay here."

"I'm tempted to start running," Scarlet said when he had left. Cress laughed.

"I'm sure it won't be that bad. After all, this time, he's putting it on himself."

"True..." Scarlet replied dubiously. "I doubt that'll change much, though."

Cress laughed again.

Several minutes ticked by in silence.

"I wonder what it looks like," Winter said.

It was terrifying.

None of the crew had seen such a terrible explosion since the revolution.

Winter giggled. That soon turned into a full-fledged stomach-clutching laugh. Cress's giggles mixed in with Winter's.

"What... is that." Jacin was the first to speak up; the rest of them hadn't recovered yet. Thorne's grin didn't falter.

"Isn't it beautiful?"

It was neon yellows, greens, blues, and oranges. The swim trunks were Hawaiian-type printed - palm trees and all. Except all the natural colors were brightened in the worst possible way. He wore a Hawaiian button-down that was entirely unflattering (but he managed to pull it off?).

"I'm serious, Thorne, you are going to blind us," Scarlet deadpanned.

"I am blessing your eyes."

"Captain... It is a little scary," Cress managed.

"Oh, come on!"

"Okay, I'm looking away now," Kai mumbled and several others followed in suit.

"Emperor! You are supposed to be polite!"

"Not in situations that are personally threatening me."

Ze'ev snorted.

"Please change," Kai said.

Thorne rolled his eyes.

"Only to spare you the stunning beauty of my brilliant wardrobe choices."

There was an audible sigh of relief. Thorne's grin only got wider.

The Rampion crew stood around each other, examining everyone's purchases.

Jacin decided not to buy anything, despite Winter's pleas. ("I won't use it.")

Ze'ev got a simple pair of dark red swim trunks.

Kai settled on a (much less awkward) black pair of swim trunks.

Thorne purchased the Hawaiian shirt, which he claimed he did not own. ("I have some other pairs of swimsuits.")

Everyone, ignoring the scars of this awful shopping trip, exited the store smiling.

A/N: I didn't realize there was more than 2 options in male swimwear.

This isn't my favorite piece that I've done, but I wanted to finish up this two-shot before I lost the energy to do research on swimwear. (Also, it has been FOREVER and it had been bothering me that I hadn't finished it.) This is supposed to be very lighthearted, so I hope you got at least one chuckle at my blundering through this very unknown territory.

I love you all and any sort of feedback is appreciated. :)

-A19 (on the european swimwear thing... i did not explain more than i had to and i apologize for that xD i didn't want that much repetition in the swimsuit choices, so that was the only option i could think of that did not sound the same as the others.)