I jerked awake, rolling away from Tamlin's sleeping figure as the icy claws of fear raked through my mind. My heart was racing as I sat up, chills spider-walking down my spine.

I had been dreaming. In my nightmares, Amarantha was carving the wings out of my back, sawing them until I was dizzy with pain and horror. "Don't take my wings." I begged her. "Don't take them! Please!"

My hand automatically went to my back, but of course there was nothing. My bare skin was intact, if clammy with sweat. Which meant…

I slid off the bed as the realization struck me. It wasn't my dream. It was Rhysand's!

Before I could think about what I was doing, I slipped on a deep green tunic that reached just above my knees, not bothering to fix my shock of gold-brown hair before padding out of the room. Tamlin would still be asleep when I came back. But Rhysand needed me.

When he had used magic to bond us together, the High Fae of the Night Court had created a link between us, a shimmering thread that linked my soul to his. It was thanks to this invisible thread that I was able to make my way to his room.

To my surprise, the door was locked. "Rhys, it's me." I said quietly, knowing he could hear me even through the think oak wood. "Open the door."

A few moments later, the door swung inwards. Rhysand's black-blue hair was a mess, and his eyes were haggard. He was shirtless, his pale skin gleaming in the half-obscurity of the tunnel. "If you're coming for a late-night call, I'm afraid you picked the wrong night." His voice held the right amount of carelessness, as if he was turning down some harlot. But my sensitive ears detected the flicker of pain under it.

"That's not why I'm here."

"Ah." He nodded, his dark blue eyes darkening until they were one shade away from purple. "I see."

He didn't bother to give me his usual trademark smile, heading back to an intricately carved armchair in front of the fireplace. I let out my breath when I saw that there was no sign of blood anywhere on him. He still had his wings, then. It had been just a dream.

"You can quit staring and close the door." Rhys said sharply, leaning forwards and propping his chin against his hands. The skin of his back stretched taught over his muscular body. He was leaner than Tamlin, but where Tam had immeasurable strength, Rhys was finesse. They were both just as deadly, in different ways.

I did as he told me, then padded over to the fireplace. The fire was blazing in the grate, the room uncomfortably hot. I winced as I looked over the hearth where I had kneeled for hours, the skin of my hands and knees raw as I furiously searched through the ashes for lentils.

"I never thanked you for helping me with my tasks." My voice broke through the silence. There wasn't enough room for two on the intricately carved armchair, so I curled up on the floor next to it, making sure my tunic covered all the important places.

"Anyone would have done the same." Rhys said, the flames from the hearth mirrored in his eyes. "After all, it would be a shame for a pretty Fae like you to die illiterate."

"Funny." I nudged his knee, and he gave me the ghost of a smile. It was quiet for a while, but then I couldn't stop myself from asking any longer "That dream…" an involuntary shudder ran over me as I remembered the feeling of wings being sawed off my back, "does it happen a lot?"

"It's not a dream." His voice was raw. He looked at me, his eyes dead. "It happened. Because of my… ability, Amaranth forced me to keep a prisoner down while she sawed off his wings. I was there, in his mind, while she destroyed the most important part of him. I wanted to run, to get as far from her as I could get. But she had commanded me to hold him down, so I had no choice. It was my punishment for finding her the wrong girl."

My eyes widened as I realized what he was talking about. I had given him a false name, and he had lied to the Queen. And then she tortured him.

"It's my fault." I leaned away from him, feeling as if I had just been slapped. "It's my fault that Clare died…My fault that those two Fae are dead… that she did that do you." I closed my eyes, the faces of the two people I had murdered flickering behind my eyelids.

In one swift movement, Rhys slid to the ground in front of me, holding me by the shoulders. "Look at me, Fayruh." His voice held such command that I had no choice but to look. His eyes were shining fiercely. "You saved Prythian. You saved all of us. You have nothing to blame yourself for."

I shook my head furiously. "But I killed two Fae…" Tears welled into my eyes and slipped down my cheeks.

Rhys slipped one hand around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. I was so surprised that I didn't move. He smelled like night flowers and windy moors, and as he held me, the pain started to subside from my chest. But the tears kept flowing.

"I don't know how to forget." I told him, my breath catching. His grip around me tightened and I leaned into him even harder, letting another wall fall. "You were there. You understand. How do you move on after something like this?"

He pressed his cheek against my forehead, and his breath was warm on my skin. "You just do, Fayruh. It takes time. But it does get better."

I tilted my head up to look at him. I had to see his eyes, to know that this wasn't just an empty promise, that one day I would be able to sleep through the night without waking up screaming from nightmares. "You promise?"

His eyes, usually so fierce, softened as he met my gaze. Here, in the firelight, they were a deep violent, like the night sky right before the sun rises. "I promise."

I didn't dare breathe as I took in his shiny eyes, his high cheekbones and those sensuous lips that were never far from a smile. I wanted to see him smile so badly again.

"Fayruh." He breathed, reaching with one hand to brush a strand of hair out of my face. My pulse quickened. "I could stare at you forever."

I didn't think about what happened next. I didn't think about if this was wrong, or right, or if it was ever going to happen again. I simply bridged the distance between us and pressed my lips against his.

They were as soft as I had imagined. But what I never could have imagined was the way my heart leapt in my chest when our mouths connected, how I couldn't get enough of his mouth against mine. And when he flicked my mouth open with the tip of his tongue, I let that roaring in my ears devour me whole and melted into his embrace.

We could have been kissing for minutes, or hours, or ages. He was the first one to reluctantly pull away, giving me a look of such tenderness that it made my heart stop.

"I'm leaving in a few hours." Rhysand stroked my cheek, and I leaned into his touch. "You have Tamlin. We shouldn't be doing this."

I shook my head. This wasn't like what I had with Tamlin. Tam and I existed on a whole other sphere. Our souls were the same.

But Rhys held a part of my heart now. He had seen me through the months of my ordeal, pulling me back from the edge every time I came close to breaking, making every harrowing day just a little day better.

What I had with him wasn't like what I had with Tam. But I needed him just as much, if not more. But I had never been good with words.

So instead of voicing what I was thinking, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his one last time. This kiss was fierce, and poignant, and bittersweet.

Just like him.