Okay if you have been reading my Papa Redfox series this is similar but not as good, you have to get through all the vulgar puns-I don't know where this story went but please bare with me, I was very bored.
Just keep in mind that this is the kind of depiction I would see Igneel who needs to help make amends for Natsu's stupidness.
Disclaimer~Hiro Mashima is not me.
"Oh come on kiddo it can't be that bad."
"Of course it's that bad! She's never going to speak to me again..." Igneel sighed.
He tried to be encouraging but Natsu just wouldn't relent he's adamant that this Lucy Heartfellia will never forgive him.
"First of all what did you do?" 'Lets try to go about this calmly' Igneel told himself, it's better to get teenage boys to open up...isn't that what Grandine said?
"I told her she has nice jugs."
Igneel's eyes popped out from their sockets.
He said what?!
"You-you of course she is going to be angry!" Igneel spluttered losing his easily provoked temper.
"I know that's what I said, how was I supposed to know it would offend her?" Igneel's face was turning as red as the ink for the dragon tattoo on his back.
"Of course she would be offended you idiot!"
"Oh but that's not the worst part..." What is this kid learning?!
"What else did you do Natsu Dragneel?"
"I asked her if I could pet her pussy," Igneel nearly collapsed from how perverted his kid really is.
"Natsu what have you done?!"
"I know! After she cried I had to ask if she had a ride home she said she didn't have one and I offered to ride her back to her place but that only made her cry even more..." Well aside from the fact I have a screwed up idiot for a son I sighed grasping his shoulder.
"Don't be so upset I'm sure this will brush over..." in like? Never.
"Really, you think so?"
I nodded halfheartedly trying to make the nod convincing.
Man this girl is going to hate you for the rest of your life you perverted idiot.
"Dad I even thought she wanted to see it..." Oh geez what perverted thing haven't you said to the poor girl?
"See what exactly?"
"My dragon," silence befuddled us.
His what?
"Your dragon."
"Yeah the one I keep in my pants..."
Igneel slapped his forehead.
Man, this kid is taking inches of his life with just one conversation.
"How about...we go get some ice cream?" Igneel couldn't find a solution to Natsu's problem other than trying to induce amnesia on this Lucy...
"Sounds great..." It does not! Igneel thought about punishing Natsu but he seemed genuinely upset by what he said to this Lucy maybe it had been in the spur of the moment.
Natsu and Igneel walked along the street comfortably walking, Igneel was still honing down his temper trying to convince himself that violence is not what this situation needs right now.
As they headed for the ice cream shop Natsu grew even more depressed that Igneel laid a hand on his shoulder for comfort.
But they were soon held up by a young blonde woman wearing a short skirt and white blouse.
She began to speak just as Natsu uttered her name.
"Lucy-"
"Natsu I thought about what you said, and I'm sorry. I like that you liked them...I'm sorry I just have a hard time believing that myself."
"But they are amazing Lucy, your jugs are fantastic," Igneel definitely couldn't deny that she's definitely well endowed there.
"Thanks, I still don't think I should have taken ceramics class..." Wait what?! Ceramics class?
"Don't be like that and yesterday with-" okay this must be the second point Natsu made about petting he-Lucy cut him off.
"Yeah I know. I started crying because I couldn't let you pet her, my neighbour is strict about it I'm sorry Natsu I knew Happy was starting to like her." What a peculiar conversation this is, what kind of neighbours does this girl have? Igneel was flabbergasted she doesn't sound in the least upset.
"It's okay, I'm sure Happy will get over it," Happy as in the cat Happy? The one I got for Natsu and Lisanna to play around with. That kind of Pussy Cat!
"Also the ride home? My dad has a security system that if you were to come within a ten meters radius the private police that works for my father would be notified-you could have been shot on the spot so I hope you didn't misunderstand. You can ride with me next week though-I got a new bike last week." Wait when did a bike and a private police force get into this conversation?
"Sounds great Luce."
Suddenly the girl named Lucy shyly blushed.
"By the way can I see your dragon?"
"Of course you can...now?" Don't you dare kid! Igneel mentally growled, not in damn public!
But soon he was shocked by her response.
She nodded, oh dear what kind of girl is she!
"Ta-dah!" Natsu presented her with the Red Dragon keychain that Igneel brought him last week which was in the side pocket of his pants.
Huh? That's the dragon he was talking about?
Igneel tried to make out what had just happened as he blushed furiously stumbling away from the talking pair going into regression mode.
"Is that your dad?" Igneel heard from over his shoulder.
"Yeah he's cool, he didn't give me much help on compensation though..."
Igneel was definitely going to give that kid a beating when he gets home, compensation my ass!