Habits to be Broken

Chapter 1

Another empty recon. It was Arcee, Bumblebee and Smokescreen's turn to check, and so far, Jasper seemed pretty quiet. The rookie was mainly disappointed, saying he was ready for anything. Optimus told him to try and relax, complaining about things won't make them any better Smokescreen reluctantly agreed and went to his room. He was a bit stressed. Scratch that, a lot stressed. He was pushing himself too far recently, and the others haven't noticed. You'd think they'd care at least a little bit. But no. They simply shrug him off and go do their own thing.

Smokescreen sighed as he entered his room. He approached a desk and opened a drawer, revealing a rust colored box. He took it out and headed to his washroom, locking the door behind him. He faced a giant mirror and sighed. To anyone else, the box would've opened and nothing would be inside it. But Smokescreen always had his secrets. He typed a code on a secret number panel and the top split in half. Inside the lid was a sheathed dagger surrounded by the lid's red velvet carpeting. Smokescreen took it out and placed the box down. He unsheathed the weapon, revealing light blue line patterns and serrated teeth, dried Energon stained the edges. Smokescreen withdrew his arm plating and stared at old scars with dried up Energon around them. These were not battle scars, they were habitual wounds.

Smokescreen sighed again and gripped the dagger's handle in his right hand and set his left arm down, inner side facing up. Finding a good place on the plating, he lined the dagger up and-

*FAH-SHING!*

A quick and harsh pain struck Smokescreen as the blade broke through the metal plating, Energon spilling out of the opening rapidly. After the pain subsided, a familiar wave of bliss occurred, calming the rookie down as the Energon loss evened out. Smokescreen sighed at the calming feeling he had come to recognize.

[HOLD IT! Before I continue, I want to say I do NOT approve of self-harm, nor do I take part in it. In fact, one reason why I'm making this story is to inform people of the dangers and signs of this terrible habit. The reason some people find it relaxing (even though it's bad for you) is that it releases blood pressure and allows you to calm down. Smokescreen is doing the same thing, knowing well of the dangers about what he's doing, yet not caring because of how the others treat him what he's calm and focused. To him, he'd go psycho angry if he didn't have the habit, and thus keeps doing it in secret. So again, I'm not doing this as to get you into self-harm, rather I am trying to keep you from doing so and I also give a thankful shout out to those who want to help prevent others from self-harm. Now back to the story!]

Moving lower toward the elbow, Smokescreen slashed again, feeling the same effects before. He then moved the blade to his left servo and set his right arm down, slashing twice again, but in different places. This process of switching arms and finding a welcoming but dangerous bliss repeated for a few more times until a knock sounded from the door. "Smokescreen?"

The rookie sheathed the dagger quickly, reapplying his arm defense cover, making the cuts disappear from sight. "Y-Yeah?" He replied.

"It's me Arcee." The bot on the other side spoke, "We were just about to start training."

'This early?' Smokescreen thought to himself. "Okay. I-I'll be right out." He rapidly placed the dagger and sheath in the box lid and closed it.

"Are you alright?" Arcee asked.

Suddenly, Smokescreen opened the door with a fake smile, "'Course I am. Why ya ask?"

Arcee raised an optic ridge, "Well, you were stuttering. And you look pretty nervous."

Smokescreen scoffed, "Tch! Believe be 'Cee, nothing can shake me." He walked out of the washroom, closing the door behind him, "Now come on! Let's go train!"

Unknown to him as he walked away, Arcee had seen the rust box slightly, and was wondering what the liquid blue stuff on the sink counter was.

/

Smokescreen watched as Bumblebee and Bulkhead traded blows with one another. Ratchet programmed the computer to pick the fighters for each round. Wheeljack and Arcee already went first, Arcee winning for her agility and flexibleness, giving her an advantage. For the next fight, Bulkhead ended up winning the match due to his durability. Luckily, Bumblebee wasn't the sore loser type and accepted his loss quite well. Arcee spoke up, "Alright, who's next?"

"Let me see." Ratchet typed on his computer. "The first match was Wheeljack Vs. Arcee, then Bulkhead Vs. Bumblebee, now..."

The room went silent as two pictures appeared on the screen. Smokescreen Vs. Ultra Magnus. 'Scrap!' Smokescreen hissed in his head. He was a bit woozy from his... habit, and Ultra Magnus was a tough fighter. How was he supposed to fight well enough to not embarrass himself yet not cause any more pain?

Ultra Magnus approached the young rookie, "Well soldier. It seems we are meant to fight."

Smokescreen turned to him and faked a smirk, "Seem so. Sir." He added, knowing how strict the blue mech was.

Ultra Magnus walked to one end of the training area as Smokescreen went to the other. Arcee looked at him, "Smokescreen, be careful." She whispered, "He might not hold back for you."

Smokescreen turned to her, "Well, neither will I."

The two mechs faced each other, determination in both optics. Deciding to get it over with, Smokescreen made the first move. Dashing forward, he readied his arm for a punch. Ultra Magnus moved to the side easily, thinking how ridiculous the rookie was. But he was taken by surprise when Smokescreen swung his leg at him, hitting him in the arm. Smokescreen rushed forward, but his arm was countered by Magnus'. The two traded blows, Smokescreen trying to keep himself together by evading most blows, while Ultra Magnus focused on making the match end as soon as possible.

The two soon found themselves at a standoff, servos locked, trying to push the other back. Smokescreen didn't dare look at Magnus in the eye, so he focused on the ground, watching their peds try to move. Ultra Magnus was annoyed, yet impressed. The young mech was actually doing a fairly well job at fighting. Suddenly, Magnus noticed a glowing blue from the rookie's arm. He turned to see a blue liquid run down Smokescreen's arm from behind his plating. Shocked and awestruck, Ultra Magnus didn't notice Smokescreen releasing his grip and shoving the mech back. He staggered until he found his balance again. But when he looked up to see Smokescreen, ready to charge again, all he could focus on was his bleeding arm.

Smokescreen dashed forwards once more, ready to upper cut the lieutenant. But he was taken by surprise when Ultra Magnus grabbed his arm and held his other hand against the mech's chassis, keeping him from getting any closer as his arm was stretched out. Smokescreen struggled to get out of the grip, but stopped then Magnus spoke, "You are wounded." Smokescreen froze. Everyone in the room heard and looked closely at the rookie. Sure enough, Smokescreen was indeed bleeding from his arm. "Why are you bleeding?" Ultra Magnus asked, releasing the rookie.

Once he was released, Smokescreen held his arm as Energon dripped. 'SCRAP!' He mentally hissed. 'They must've opened!'

"Smokescreen," The rookie turned to Ratchet who was nearby a generator, gesturing him to sit down, "Let me see."

To everyone's shock, the rookie actually backed up, showing he was rejecting the offer. "Uh... N-No thanks. I-I'm good." He shrugged it off, still holding his wounded arm.

Arcee turned to him, "Smokescreen, you're stuttering again. Are you sure you're okay?" She asked, approaching him.

"I'm fine!" He snapped, "It's probably just an old wound. I'll just clean it out and patch it up. No big deal."

"No big deal?!" The medic asked. "Smokescreen, you're bleeding. Rinsing it off and covering it up won't do anything. I need to take a look at it." He insisted loudly.

Smokescreen's pressure built up, Energon pouring out faster. He sneered, "Ratchet! I'm fine!" He snapped back, "Just leave me alone! All of you!" He stormed out to his room to wash up.

Everyone stared at where he left, shocked and worried. "Why do you think he didn't want any help?" Bulkhead asked. Bumblebee shrugged in reply.

"I think I know," Arcee noted, gaining everyone's attention, "Smokescreen's hiding something. Something big."