Self beta-ed and not brit-picked.


"Imperfections in our reality are the seams and cracks into which our out-sized love can seep and pool. And sometimes we are annoyed, and disappointed, and that too is how love works. It is not a perfect system, but...oh well."

-Cecil Palmer, Welcome to Night Vale


2013

"So...Who's telling James?" All eyes turned to Alec, wide and blinking in their surprise. Fuck, they'd forgotten about that. Somehow amid all the chaos they had forgotten about the double-oh that was going to be absolutely murderous when he found out what had happened to his lover. Bond would be thirsty for blood the second he knew, and whoever was in the immediate vicinity was likely to get a taste of that wrath.

R sighed, sounding resigned to her inevitable fate as she pushed fingers through her long black hair. "I suppose I will. He'll be demanding to know where Q is the minute I show up on the comms instead anyway."

"No, no one will tell him until his mission is over." M's voice carried a finality that settled uncomfortably in the still room. They were all sat about his office, each trying to figure just how they had let something like this happen.

"Sir," Eve interjected, albeit gently, "I don't know if keeping-"

"His mission is almost finished." M cut her off. "By tomorrow he should be through, unless something goes wrong. He's put in too much time and is too close to completion for us to pull him out now. No one may tell him of what's happened until his mission is over, otherwise no power of ours will be able to keep him in Korea."

Alec was nodding, despite how much this felt like betrayal. He wouldn't want something like this kept from him, would understand if James came around and punched them all in the face afterward. At the same time, he understood the need to complete the mission objective. There were some things that simply had to take priority. "Still, when it's time, who's going to tell him?"

"Eve, you might be best suited for this." Moneypenny nodded at Tanner's request. "Out of all of us you're the best at delivering bad news."

"Still, I won't wait 'till he comes back. I'll call him as soon as he's done."

"And I'll cover for Q until then." Added R.

"Good." Said M. "I guess now we sit and wait for the inevitable fall-out."

Alec and R sighed, Tanner downed the drink M had place in front of him, and Eve dropped her head into her hands.


2004

One more kill, one more and he'd have made it into the double-oh program. How hard could it be? He'd already done the first one, though that had been about the farthest thing from a walk in the park.

Alec, the fucker, had already gotten his double-oh status. Though James found it unreasonably unfair that the other agent had gotten to simply seduce his last target and then kill her during sex.

"Shit. Bond, there's still a technician downstairs." R's voice in his ear was still as steady and calm as ever.

He swore, stopping outside the door to the IT department, back to the wall.

"You don't have your license yet, you'll have to simply apprehend him."

God damn workaholics not leaving when they were supposed to. At this time of night there should have been no one left in the office building.

Bond entered the room silently, the place near dark except for the rows of computers casting the blueish glow of their login screens across the floor. The blond drew his gun and switched the safety off. Even if he didn't have permission to kill the man, guns intimidated most people enough. It wouldn't be hard to send the boffin running.

The kid didn't even know he was coming, too absorbed in his back-lit lines of code and how fast his fingers could fly across the keyboard. Bond slammed a hand over his mouth, pulling the boffin back in his chair so that the front feet were suspended off the ground and his fingers were pulled away from the keys. He had a mop of brown waves that hung over his eyes, and glasses that reflected the bright light of the computer screen.

Bond pressed the cool metal of the gun against soft curls. "Make a sound and I blow your brains out." The other man stayed still, and Bond released his hold in order to find something to tie the other man up with, gun never leaving the brunette's temple as he grabbed for some nearby cables.

"James?"

Bond froze. The voice was soft and lilting, and pulled at something in the agent's chest that he had thought no longer existed. "The fuck?" Bond turned back around to find wide green eyes staring back up at him and... he knew those eyes. Those were the eyes he could find through his childhood window each night in the next house over. He had seen them light up with joy, and fill with tears, and beaten black and blue. He knew those eyes better than his own, had spent more than enough time staring into them in his youth. But this couldn't be possible. Fate didn't just hand out favors like this.

"You don't remember me?" The words sounded hurt, and Bond wanted to say no, of course he remembered, but there was no way. "Dancing on Skyfall's front lawn at night while we listened to your old radio."

He had him then. Had picked out the one memory of his childhood where he could recall being truly happy. He could never forget that. It had been the summer after he had finished his A levels, back when he still thought he would go off to university instead of to the navy the following fall. It was the summer he had thought he could fix everything, could run off with his best friend and keep him safe from the dangers of his home. Back when he was still lighthearted enough to dance in the moonlight and kiss under the stars because they really were more than just friends, but no one needed to know that at the time. Back when he saw the makeshift family he had created for himself ripped away once again.

"Elliot?" The young man smiled in response. "Fuck. You're alive?"

"You thought I wasn't?" The brunette's brows furrowed, and his head tilted with a look of concern.

James shrugged, dropping the gun away from the man's head. This was too much. All he had been there that night to do was infect his target's computer network, not find his lost childhood love. "I didn't know what to think."

R buzzed back to life in his ear. "Bond? What the hell is going on?"

Bond shook himself. The mission. He had to complete the mission. "Right, sorry." When he turned back to Elliot the man was looking at him with wide, trusting eyes. It was jarringly familiar, while at the same time having been far too long since anyone had looked at him with that much faith in their gaze. "Elliot, can you do something for me?" The boffin would no doubt be better suited for the task at hand.

"Anything. You know that."

James pulled a flash drive out of his pocket. "Can you put the virus on here into the company's network? We need it to extract information."

"What kind of information?" The brunette asked, but took the flash dive and plugged it in anyway.

"The evil plans kind. The company you work for is actually a cover for a terrorist organization by the way."

Elliot humphed. "I take it I'll be out of work again soon then."

"You man have to run for your life as well."

The other man's tone was dry. "Delightful."

"Don't worry, I'll keep you safe."

Elliot offered up a small smile, just a barely there curl at the edge of his lips. "Just like old times then.

"You know, I can do better than simply putting the virus on here. I can get the information for you myself straight from the boss' main computer, that way there's no trace to lead back to you."

"Who is that kid?" R piped in. "If he can pull that off I want him in Q-branch."

Bond didn't give him a response. "Can they trace this back to you though?"

"No, not if I do it right." Already his fingers were flying over the keys, producing lines and lines of numbers and letters and symbols that made no sense to Bond.

"Alright, after this go home. Don't leave until I come for you."

Elliot paused for a moment to look up at him. "How will you know where to find me?"

Bond winked like it was an involuntary reaction, and the other man flushed before turning back to his work. "Don't worry, I'll find you."

Every time James blinked there was at least three more lines of code. "When this is over, will you come back to London with me?" Bond asked.

The work paused for only a moment. "You would want me to?"

"Of course I would. I can get you a job at where I work." Or at least he could if R was being serious about wanting Elliot in Q-branch. "I can't tell you exactly where that is right now, but I think you'll like it."

"That sounds nice." Elliot unplugged the flash drive and offered it up to Bond. "I've dumped everything on there, from family photos to plans for an oil rig. I didn't know what would be important and what wouldn't. I assume you have people to go through it if the person talking in your ear means anything."

"Thank you." Bond pocketed the small device. "Now go home. Despite what you said about them not being able to track you be careful anyway. I'll come for you when the job is done."

"You be careful too." Elliot offered, before quickly getting up and heading for the door. He stopped halfway though and turned back around. "James?"

"Yes?" Bond had stayed put, watching him leave.

"I'm glad I got to see you again." He must have understood then, the gravity of what Bond was about to do. The words sounded final.

Bond closed the distance between them, grabbing the other man and dragging him forward by the collar of his rumpled dress shirt. He crashed their lips together with a bruising force, pouring all of the grief and longing he had felt for this man over the years. Elliot's lips were a taste he never thought he'd have again, and he cherished it on his tongue. When they broke apart Elliot swayed on his feet for a moment, and James kept him steady with a hand on his hip.

"I'll see you soon." Bond said. Elliot nodded once in response before turning and running out of the room.


1994

Can you call the police?- EH

Why? What's wrong?- JB

He's trying to kill us. If I call he'll hear me.- EH

Where are you?- JB

The closet.- EH

Elise's breath puffed hot against his hand as he held it over her mouth, trying to muffle the sound of her frightened, heavy breathing. Elliot himself took measured breaths, trying his best to disappear into their small hiding place. The glow of his phone screen lit up his face with a fake, aggressive light, but when he shut it off they were once again plunged into darkness.

"Where the hell are you fucking brats?" Their father's drunken slur erupted from the hallway, and Elliot could hear the thump of the bat against his legs as he walked. Elise's breath hitched, and Elliot held her against him even tighter. She was still in her night dress, her brother having woken her up early that morning to take refuge in her room. It was only a few minutes later though that their father had come in and driven them to find a new hiding place. "You're not as good at hiding as your mother. I found her, and I'll find you too!"

Elliot flinched at his words, and Elise's fingers curled tighter into his t-shirt. They still remembered their mother being pulled down from the attic a few months ago, the sickening thud her head had made when it connected with the ground.

Suddenly there was a crash on the other side of the door, and the sounds of a scuffle coming from outside. It lasted for a few moments before there was a loud crack, and the closet door was pulled open. Elliot blinked at the sudden change in light, his vision clearing to reveal James standing over them, the boy only slightly out of breath.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He demanded as the blond grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the small space, Elise coming out after him. "I told you to call the police."

James shrugged. "This was quicker. And besides, you know the police won't do shit. Now come on, we have to get going. I don't know how long he'll be out." The blond nodded to the man currently unconscious on the hallway floor, the bat discarded not too far away. Elliot spared him barely a glance before grabbing his sister's hand and fleeing from the house.


2013

"Moneypenny." James answered the phone, water droplets still running down his neck from his shower and dampening the collar of his shirt.

"Q's been shot." Her words were concise and clipped, no implied emotion coming through with her tone. Bond stopped. Moving, breathing, thinking, everything stopped as his brain tumbled over her words, uncomprehending.

"...What?" He finally choked out.

"He's stable now, and in Medical. You have a return flight in an hour, Q-branch will text you the details." The call cut off with a click.

Bond swallowed down his heart that was violently trying to crawl its way up his throat as his phone dropped away from his ear. His fingers tightened against the glass tumbler in his hand, ice still slowly melting inside, before he hurled it against his hotel room wall, sending it shattering into a million pieces against the plaster.


1994

James was steadily kissing his way up Elliot's arms, light brushes of lips to the bruises that littered the pale skin. They were barely there touches, soft enough to not cause pain, but yet still present enough to send shivers down Elliot's spine. James was gradually working his way up to the brunette's chest, where more dark blue and purple splotches lay scattered.

"Elise is next door." Elliot whispered into blond hair, despite knowing that the walls of the old house were much thicker than what he was used to.

"She's asleep." James murmured against skin that flushed with his touch. "I checked in on her a few minutes ago."

Long fingers weaved themselves through blond strands and pulled James' head back up so that the two boys could lock eyes. "You're sure it's alright, us staying here with you?"

"What, is this place not big enough for you?"

Elliot snorted. Skyfall manor was huge, larger than anything he had ever stayed in before. Elise had taken in its old wood floors and chipping stone walls and declared it a palace. "I was worried that our intrusion might leave you feeling a bit cramped."

James chuckled, a deep thing in his chest, and Elliot felt the vibrations tingle across his skin where they touched. "Really Elliot, I'd want nothing more than to have the two of you here with me. And I know Kincaid doesn't mind. He's always complaining about being all alone up here. And it's obvious he absolutely adores your sister and you."

"And your aunt? She's alright with you staying here?"

Elliot began stroking through the short strands under his fingers, and James practically purred. "I think she's the most pleased out of everyone with my being here. When I called her up to explain she could barely contain her excitement at the prospect of me being gone all summer."

"Her loss." Elliot pulled James down for a kiss, the other boy going willingly, and they spent a few minutes enjoying their lazy stroke of tongues.

"Run away with me." James whispered against Elliot's lips after they had broken apart. "Forget Uni. Let's go somewhere far away. We'll get jobs and support ourselves and never have to look back."

The other boy gave a melancholy sigh, drawing James' head back down so he could nuzzle at the blond's temple "As lovely as that sounds, I'm only 15. Not much very promising in the job market for someone my age."

"You don't act your age, I'm sure we could pass you off as older."

Elliot resumed stroking through James' hair, nails scratching ever so lightly at his scalp. "Even then, I couldn't leave Elise behind. There's no way we could support ourselves and her while we're this young."

"Would you stay here then? I'm sure we have enough family money, provided Aunt Charmain hasn't gotten her paws on all of it yet. Kincaid will be here too, and I can watch out for you." James pressed a kiss to his love's forehead and rolled them over onto their sides, tangling sleep-pant clad legs together.

"Of course." Elliot conceded as he began drawing a line of kisses along Bond's collar bone, driving James to hold them together even tighter.

"It's settled then."


2013

Bond entered MI6 like a thunderstorm.

He went to check on Q first, approaching the room in a silent manner that terrified the Medical staff more than any rambunctious double-oh ever could. Each step he took echoed the sound of impending death off of white washed walls. He stayed a while to assure himself that his lover would be alright, despite the fact that Q remained asleep the entire time, put under with a significant amount of drugs running through his veins. His bullet wound remained hidden from view, his side wrapped up in gauze and out of sight under a blanket. Bond read his chart though, garnering as much information from that as he could. The rest of the time he stood over Q's bed like a particularly frightening gargoyle, face twisted in his fury, while he stroked gentle fingers through the Quartermaster's hair.

It was with ferocious thunder in his tread that he approached M's office afterward. Alec and Eve were already there waiting for him, having been alerted to his arrival. "What the hell happened?" He growled nearly as soon as he entered the room, as if he were the one giving orders.

Alec and Eve stood up as if sitting would make them more vulnerable to his wrath, but M remained seated behind his desk, the mask he wore calm and impenetrable. Eve was the first to speak. "He found his sister."

Bond's focus shifted to her, his eyes icy daggers sliding down her spine. "I thought she was dead."

"We all did." Eve agreed. "But somehow something alerted him to the fact that she was still alive. He found her flat and went to go see her. The next thing we knew the tracker in him that alerts us if his health is dangerously low was going off."

Alec took over from there. "I went to go get him. I don't know how she got her hands on a gun, but it was hers. She definitely shot him on purpose. He was bleeding out against the wall, but he wouldn't let me hurt her. Eventually I had to just take her gun away and then carry him out so I could get him to Medical."

"Why the hell would she want to hurt him?" Bond's smothering eyes turned to the wall in contemplation, and everyone in the room seemed to relax minutely. "He adored that girl."

"He wouldn't let us take her into custody," M offered, "but we can give you her address if you would like. Just know that you will face Q alone for your actions."

Bond nodded. "Give it to me."


1994

It was raining the day that they left. Raindrops fell flat and heavy, muddying the lawn and darkening the stone of the old house's facade. James sat on the gravel drive, grey mud soaking into the knees of his jeans as he let the rain cover up the tears he was letting slide down his cheeks.

The police couldn't be damned to answer their calls for help at home, couldn't be bothered with the hassle of social work. They had no problem however with storming into James' home and dragging the children out kicking and screaming. Less paper work, he supposed.

It took a few minutes for James to notice that Kincaid was standing over him with an umbrella, only looking up when his face turned hot with his own silent tears instead of being cooled by the sky's. A large, calloused hand was placed heavy on his shoulder, though James could find no comfort in it. "Don't worry boy, we'll find them. We'll get them back."

"No we won't." The blond croaked. "Their father's moved them before, and he'll do it again. Now that he knows we want them back he'll do anything to keep them to himself. I wouldn't be surprised if they were across the country by tomorrow." James' hands went to his hair, spreading mud between the strands as he pulled at them in frustration. He was beginning to tremble, both from the cold and the dead weight settling in his chest.

"Come on then," Kincaid grumbled as he began to haul his charge up by his arm, "let's get you inside."


2013

James shot out the lock on Elise's door before kicking it open. It swung wildly on its hinges, slamming against the opposite wall with a bang that could be heard throughout the entire floor. Elise was standing in the middle of her living room, looking absolutely petrified as James stormed in.

He threw her against the nearest wall, and it was odd, attempting to hurt someone who bore such resemblance to Q, someone who he had once vowed he would protect. With age she had grown to look even more like her brother, all sharp lines and angles and long hair in a disarray of waves. The only thing different was the eyes, hers were mostly brown, with only a small ring of green around the pupil. Her stare was the same though, strong and defiant.

"Why the hell would you do that to your brother?" He growled, nearly spitting in his fury.

"He's not my brother, not anymore." She shouted back.

"Why the hell not? What has he ever done except be completely devoted to you?"

"Bullshit!" She erupted, straining against his grip on her arms that held her in place. "He left me all alone with my father. He said he would come back for me and he didn't!"

"He tried!" Bond didn't raise to her volume, but his words contained just as much venom. "He went back for you as soon as he could! You weren't there, and your father said you were dead."

Elise sobered, muscles relaxing as her eyes spoke of her unease. "You're lying."

"You think I would lie about this?" Bond's voice was so cold it sent shivers down her spine. "I was there for it, I was the one who had to pick up the pieces afterward. Thinking you were dead destroyed him. It took me months to even begin putting him back together again."

Elise shook her head in denial, brown locks falling in her face. "No."

"Thinking you were gone wrecked him. Where the hell were you?"

"I ran away at 16. I didn't think he would come for me by then."

Bond's grip relaxed marginally as their stories unfolded, anger dissipating slightly as she explained herself. "It took him a while to find you again after he got a steady job. Every time he would get an idea of where you were your father would move you again. He tried for years until he finally caught up with him, but by then I suppose you were already gone. Your father took his last opportunity to break him."

The slightest of tears filled her eyes, but didn't fall. "I didn't know."

"Obviously."

"I can't believe I..." Bond released her when she attempted to raise a hand to her mouth, a mannerism that mirrored her brother.

"Well, there's nothing you can do for it now. I'll tell you this once, and the next time I'll shoot before asking any questions. Stay away from your brother. We both know he'll forgive you of this, hell, he'll probably think himself at fault, but I'm telling you to keep your distance. If I let him see you he'll want to keep seeing you even when I'm not there, and I can't let that happen."

"I wouldn't hurt him. Not anymore." She truly looked like she wouldn't, not with tears in her eyes, shoulders slumped and head bowed in shame.

"You'll forgive me for not wanting to take that chance."

There were a few moments where nothing happened, before slowly, mournfully, she nodded. Bond left her then, slamming the door behind him on his way out.


2006

"She's not here."

Elliot froze at the entrance to the living room, just out of reach of the dim lamp light that would invade the shadows hiding him from view. There had been no car next to the house, so he had assumed it meant their father was out. Elise couldn't drive yet, could she? She hadn't been in her room, and that had been the first place he had looked, having used the trick James taught him of opening the window latch from the outside with a pocket knife.

"Where is she?" He surprised even himself with how steady his voice was. It was likely due to all the practice he was getting now that he'd been given 006 and 007 to monitor on missions with his new promotion. He was getting used to remaining calm in high stress situations.

His father took a slow sip of his coffee as he continued to read yesterday's news that was unfolded in his lap. "She's dead."

Elliot's breath hitched. "You're lying."

"I'm not." His father spoke as if discussing the weather. "She fell down the stairs, stupid girl. Broke her neck. She always had been a bit clumsy." It was a lie. Elliot was the clumsy one, always clipping his hips on desks and tripping over his own feet. Elise had moved with the grace of a dancer. "The service was small, just a few of her friends showed up. It's a shame we couldn't contact you so you could come as well."

"I don't believe you." He was beginning to waver, Elliot's voice beginning to shake as he stepped out of the shadows. He couldn't help it, this was too much for him to comprehend.

His father took a moment to look him over once he moved into the light. "You look more and more like her every day, don't you?"

He didn't specify, but Elliot knew who he was referring to. It was true, Elliot and Elise both favored their mother, no trace of their father's blond hair or soft edges anywhere. The only thing they shared was the green of their eyes. That wasn't what he had come to discuss though. "She can't be dead." He was in denial now, he knew, but he simply couldn't bare the idea of his little sister no longer within reach.

His father's face was grim but not grieving. "But she is. It seems you've come too late son."


2006

"You need to at least eat something, darling."

Bond was leaning against the doorway to the bedroom, the space just light enough from the sunlight straining through the closed curtains for him to make out the lump of covers on the bed. He had been like this for three days now, and all Bond had been able to force down him were a few cups of water. Not even promises of tea and shiny new tech were enough to coax Elliot out of the room, and his lover was beginning to worry.

"James." It was all the brunette requested, reaching out a hand from under the covers.

Bond complied easily, sitting so that the young man could nuzzle into his hip. Elliot wrapped his arms around James like he was a teddy bear, and James ran fingers through unruly curls in return. Elliot's breath shook with each intake, but his cheeks were dry.

"I don't know what to do now." He admitted into Bond's jumper. It made sense, Elliot had devoted so much of his life to caring for his sister, both by acting as the parental figure she needed and by looking for her once he could provide for her on his own. He had worked and spent time with Bond, but other than that he had dedicated all of his free time to his search. There were nights where James had been forced to physically remove his love from the computer, throwing the significantly lighter man over his shoulder and carrying him off to bed so that he could force him to sleep.

Everything he had worked for was gone now. He must have felt like he no longer had purpose.

"Survive. That's all any of us can do."

Elliot let out a small, short whimper, as if the very idea hurt him. He pressed further into James' side, breaths becoming deep and carefully measured. Bond gave him time to collect himself, knowing from experience how this worked. He couldn't expect Elliot to get better any time soon, and he didn't, but he needed to keep his lover's body as healthy as he could while he gave the soul time to heal. Elliot was so skinny already, the last few days had sucked all of the color from his cheeks, and his bones were more prominent than ever under his skin. Worry had become a heavy thing settled in Bond's gut.

"Darling, please." He was begging, but he was also past the point of caring about his pride.

Elliot's words came out muffled against James' side. "Will you make pancakes?"

Bond breathed a sigh of relief. Not the most nutritious, but it was progress at least. "Chocolate chips?"

"Please."

"Will you come eat with me at the table?"

A pause, then, "okay."

By the time Bond had a stack of golden brown pancakes ready Elliot was sitting in his usual chair, pajama clad legs crisscrossed beneath him. The pale skin of his torso was out on display, and goose flesh crept up his arms with the autumn breeze coming in through the window Bond had left open. James disappeared for a moment before returning with an old Navy sweatshirt, worn soft with too many washes. Elliot complied easily when Bond slipped it over his head, the clothing settling just a bit too big on his frame.

Bond cradled the other man's head against his stomach, and Elliot wrapped his arms around James' waist. He took comfort in the thick fingers running through his hair, letting all of his senses be invaded by James and blocking out all else.

"Boothroyd sends his condolences." Bond said. "Told me to tell you that they miss you at Q-branch. They understand the need to take time off, but want to know when you'll be back."

"Soon." Elliot didn't elaborate, and Bond didn't push, simply bent over to kiss the top of the brunette's head before extracting himself from the younger man's hold.

"Eat your pancakes before they get cold."

Elliot obeyed without question, and when he finished his serving James forked over half of his own share.


1994

And in my hour of darkness, there is still a light that shines on me. Shine until tomorrow, let it be.

The radio let out a slight buzz in the background of the music as they pushed the volume as loud as it would go. Despite this, James stepped in perfect time, one hand in Elliot's and the other around his waist, keeping the younger boy from messing up their graceful back and forth. Elise sat on a blanket not too far off, the camera in her hand giving off annoying little clicks and flashes as she took picture after picture of them. Every time the couple completed another small circle and Elliot was turned toward her once again he would pull faces over James' shoulder, causing the young girl to erupt into a fit of giggles.

Eventually James pulled the brunette closer, both hands going around his waist so that Elliot was forced to loop arms around the other boy's neck. He buried his face into the crook of one broad shoulder, taking in James' warmth and the spice of his cologne. Long tufts of heather brushed against his legs as they moved, and the moon lit up the cloudless sky with a beautiful white light, and he was so goddamn happy. The sensation was likely to overwhelm him.

The song ended and James kissed him on the cheek, before taking a hand and kissing that as well, as if thanking him for the dance. Elliot leaned in for a more direct approach, but stopped at his sister's squeal. "Ew! No, no, gross! I don't want to see that!"

Elliot pulled away from James so that he could run over and tackle her, placing kisses all over her face as she giggled and squealed, swatting at him uselessly. Lifting up her shirt he blew a raspberry into her belly button, and she shrieked before dissolving into laughter again.

"I give! I give! Uncle! You can be as gross as you want, I won't say anything!"

Elliot grinned triumphantly at her before picking up the camera she had dropped, laying down next to Elise so he could snap a picture of the two of them. "James." He called to the other boy, holding out his hand as an invitation to join them. James took it, and the three of them smiled up at the camera Elliot held suspended above them.


2015

God, she was so tiny. Q couldn't help but touch the glass, wanting nothing more than to reach through to the incubating child, to confirm to himself that she was real, that this great change in his life was actually occurring.

Nurses paid him no mind as they passed through the hallway behind him, simply casting worried glances at the silent tears streaming down his cheeks before moving on. The call he had received was still playing on a loop in his head, a stranger's voice filled with only the utmost sympathy.

"...There's been an accident..."

"...She didn't make it..."

"...Husband passed away at the hospital..."

"...We were able to save the child, though she's premature..."

"...Rewrote her will as soon as she found out..."

"...Our condolences to the family..."

James came up behind him in the silent way that he had, no indication of him being there until there were strong arms wrapping around Q's middle, drawing him back against his lover's sturdy chest.

"Who told you?" Q asked.

"Eve."

"Hmm." Q let out a wavering sigh and let James take on more of his weight, keeping his fingers against the glass. "It's a girl."

"She's beautiful."

"She looks like her mother." The small creature had a hint of dark brown hair coming in that would likely be a thick tuft by the time she developed fully into a newborn. He hadn't seen her eyes yet, but he had been told that they were a light brown.

"How early is she?"

"Two months. Nothing to worry over." Q and his sister had been early as well, though for different reasons. Their mother's body had been too small to properly carry a baby to full term, though they had turned out just fine none the less.

"I'm sorry." James rested his chin against Q's shoulder. "Are you going to be okay?"

"No, I don't think I will... Are you going to leave, now that she's mine?"

"Of course not. Why would you think that?"

Q shrugged. He didn't know what to think, had never thought that he would be in this position. "We never talked about children. Didn't know if it would be a deal breaker."

"I was fully prepared to finish raising Elise with you all those years ago. This is no different, even though she's younger."

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me for this."

"Still..."

"We'll have to baby-proof the flat."

Q chuckled despite the fact that tears were still rolling down his cheeks. "Good lord. That will be an endeavor."

"That it will."

Q's breathing hitched, an almost sob. "I wish I had been able to see her just one more time. I hate the terms we parted on."

James held the other man a bit tighter, guilt churning in his gut with the knowledge that he had caused part of that grief, despite having had Q's best interests at heart. He changed the subject. "What's her name?"

"Anna. Elise always said that if she had a daughter she would name her after our mother. Anna Elise-" His voice broke then, and he raised a hand to his mouth to muffle the sobs that came forth. He was breaking, the grief for his sister overwhelming him, the only things holding him together being Bond's arms and the small life on the other side of the glass that was now completely reliant upon him. He didn't know if he could do it, become a parent again only to feel like he had utterly failed in the end. His sister had left him her child though, she trusted him, forgave him, gave him the chance to try again. This time, he would do his damnedest to get it right.