Chapter 1: Breaking The Fourth Wall
"people on the internet ship us," the hero muses.
"GOOD" the partner says with a sinister smile as they continue squeezing toothpaste into their eyes.
in the distance, chatot's voice can be heard screaming "WHAT IS THE INTERNET!"
Chapter 2: Gengar Causes The Apocalypse
"lmao gengar why ur mouth so big?" medicham asks.
"because FUCK YOU" says gengar as his mouth unhinges and swallows pokemon square in its entirety.
arbok forgot his name.
Chapter 3: Misanthropyand Basketball
virizion is angst.
"you know who i hate," virizion says. "fucking everyone.".
"not ALL men" whines umbreon as he vomits up his spleen.
somewhere, locked away in the glacier palace, keldeo impales himself with an icicle. he was trying to shoot some fuckign hoops.
this is why basketball should be illegal.
Chapter 4: Dusknoir Takes A Critical Hit To The Self Esteem
grovyle walks up to dusknoir.
"you're so fucking tall that when you fart it causes a tornado" he says rudely.
dusknoir sheds a single tear. he hates grovyle.
Chapter 5: Emolga's Secret Weaponhydreigon sneezes in dunsparce's face.
dunsparce now has the plague.
emolga goes on a killing spree. he pulls a gun out of his ear. oh dear. how unnatural. no wonder his ears are so big. that's where he keeps his weapons.
Chapter 6: Sunflora's Identity Crisis
"plants are useless," sunflora declares. "chlorophyll is for chumps."
sunflora becomes the void.
Chapter 7: Memes
imagine grovyle walking in on dusknoir laughing at a meme.
"that's the shittiest meme i've ever seen," grovyle says. dusknoir is offended. his life has no meaning now.
celebi turns into a hawk and pecks primal dialga's eyes out.
dusknoir dies.
Chapter 8: Eggs
"have you ever laid an egg?" emolga asks offensively.
"get the fuck out of my house" says swanna, smacking him out the door with her powerful wings.
Chapter 9: Sex Ed
"what is a nipple" asks wigglytuff.
"oh my god" says chatot as he slowly backs out of the guild.
bye bye bird dad.
Chapter 10: Bees
"have you ever made out with a beehive" questions hydreigon.
"what kind of question is that, hmmmm?" quagsire replies. the bees are surrounding him. honey is everywhere. oh god, it's everywhere.
hydreigon is scared.
Chapter 11: Don't Do Drugs
"haha hey grovyle" the hero giggles while smoking a joint. "you know what would be fuckin radical? if we like. went back in time. that'd be so awesome, bro"
"sounds like a riot. let's fuckign do it for the vine" shouts an equally stoned grovyle, who should not be smoking ANYTHING because he's a fuckign GRASS TYPE.
Chapter 12: No Feet
"i can't tie my shoes!" screams chimecho, shattering five windows with just the sound of her voice.
"you DON'T fucking have FEET!" loudred shouts back.
oops.
Chapter 13: Gardevoir's Vegetable PSA
"lmao hey guess what" gardevoir says to the hero. "pickles are just cucumbers gone badly wrong"
and with that she snaps her fingers and swaggers away.
the hero is so confused.