Olivia was standing in the bathroom of the club with memories of the bathroom which she never wanted to think of again, of a time she never wanted to think of again, flashing through her mind. The grimy tiles, the foul toilet, the window that was bricked over, the pipe that almost set her free.

Her breathing was increasing and she clutched her chest. She crouched down and sat underneath the sink, trying to regulate her breathing. Tears slowly started flowing down her face. She leaned her head against the wall to stop the spinning in her head.

She reached into her bag and picked out her phone. It wasn't the phone she meant to pick up but for the moment it didn't matter. She hit the call button.

XXXX

Fitz and Jake were sitting in the oval office talking about Olivia and her progress. Somehow their common love for Olivia, the thing that had destroyed the last semblance of a friendship they had left, was also the thing that had them talking and drinking together once more. They weren't quite friends again, but they were getting there.

Jake had just requested another glass of scotch when Fitz' desk phone rang. He stood up and walked around to his desk to take the call.

"President Grant speaking" he said into the phone.

"Like I needed reminding" he heard her say. Fitz quickly looked up at Jake.

"Liv. Is that you?" he asked. He heard her exhale. "Liv. Let me call you back in a second ok. The line might not be secure." He hung up his desk phone, opened his top drawer to his desk and picked up his 'Liv phone' and quickly hit the call button.

"Liv. What's wrong?" he asked when she answered. He heard only laughter on the other end.

"You ruined me." Was all she said. Fitz frowned.

"You ruined me." She repeated. "Here I am, at a club, trying to get laid, but when I think of him ripping off my clothes, all I see is you, or Jake. So now, I'm sitting under the bathroom sink."

"Are you drunk?" he asked.

"Maaaaybe" she replied. Yes, she was most definitely drunk.

"So what bar are you at?" he asked casually.

"I think it's the 'Black Cat' or something. Which is funny, cause I'm black, and the guy who is waiting for me to come back out is black." she said ending with a big laugh.

Meanwhile, Fitz picked up the nearest piece of paper, wrote Black Cat Bar, under the bathroom sink. Go! And handed it to Jake. Jake read the paper, looked up at Fitz who nodded, Jake returned the gesture and he was out the door moments later.

"So tell me about this guy?" he said.

"You really wanna know about the guy I am going home with tonight?" she asked in return.

He didn't, he was just trying to keep her on the phone so that she would stay where she was long enough for Jake to find her.

"I wanna know everything about you." he said honestly. She rolled her eyes and let out a scoff.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me." He said as he wrote on another piece of paper.

"So I was sitting at the bar and this guy came over and bought me a drink and he asked my name and I told him it was Alex." She giggled.

"Alex huh? Why Alex" he asked as he put on his jacket and moved towards the door.

"I couldn't very well tell him what my name really is, what if I take him home and he's baaaad? He would know my name, he could look me up and who knows the damage that could do" she rambled. "And, I always wanted a little sister when I was a kid, and in my mind her name would have been Alex. Olivia and Alex. Sounds good right?"

"Sounds good Livvie." he said with a smile as he moved around his bedroom picking up a few more things and putting them in a small bag.

At the word 'Livvie' she let out a brief moan. "See. How am I supposed to go back in there with that guy, when you're calling me Livvie?"

He smirked at what the one word did to her. "Then don't."

"I need to feel something Fitz. Something other than scared and alone." She said sadly.

"There are other ways to feel, other than sleeping with a stranger."

She laughed loudly again. "Really Fitz. Need I remind you of Amanda Tanner?"

"That was different." He said as he was walking towards the basement of the White House with his agents to get to his car.

"How was that different to what I am doing right now?" she asked.

"You left me, I went to Amanda. I didn't leave you this time Livvie." He said calmly.

The words washed over Olivia. Fitz got into the car. They sat in silence for a few more seconds before the door to the bathroom Olivia was in opened. She saw two large feet walk towards the sink before they bent down. Fitz could hear that Olivia's breathing had changed. "Liv?"

Jake's face came into view moments later and Fitz heard her say "Jake". He exhaled in relief. Jake picked up the phone that Olivia had apparently dropped "Fitz, I have her" he said and Fitz replied with "Thanks Jake, see you soon". And they both hung up.

XXXX

Jake grabbed Olivia's arm and gently pulled her from under the sink, and she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Come on Liv" he said as he went to stand. She didn't let go of him so he just stood up with her still clinging to him. She felt her feet come off the ground and she wrapped her legs around his torso. She felt her core rub against his stomach and was instantly aroused. She started kissing his face all over and moving up and down on him slightly.

"Ok Liv. Lets get you home." He said as he swung around to face the door. She buried her head back in his neck. He opened the door and began walking towards the kitchen to go out the back. Olivia leaned back slightly as they went through the kitchen and shouted "I'm going home with Jacob Ballard" and began giggling.

They made it outside and to Jake's car. He opened the back seat and lay her down. She was still giggling, but they subsided. Jake moved to the drivers seat and started the ignition.

"Jake. Do you hate me?" she asked.

"Why would I hate you?" he asked her confused.

"Cause I haven't really spoken to you. Cause I love you, but I love Fitz as well?" she asked sadly.

"Liv. You went through a terrible time, I get that. And I know that you cant always help who you fall in love with." he turned back to look at her and gave her a weak smile.

She yawned "I'm sleepy."

"Nearly there." He said as they continued to drive.

They pulled up into the basement of her building and parked. Jake jumped out and opened the back door. Olivia had her eyes closed so Jake grabbed her hand and puller her into a sitting position before putting one arm underneath her knees and the other behind her back. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck again. He carried her to the lift.

She lifted her head slightly as they stood waiting for the lift.

"You smell like Fitz. Why do you smell like Fitz?" she asked confusion wracking her face. He didn't know what to say. He assumed it was the scotch on his breath. "I don't know Liv." He said not wanting to ignore her, but not knowing just what to say. She took a big sniff of wherever she though the smell was coming from before smiling and resting her head back on his chest.

The lift arrived and they went straight up to her level. Jake skillfully unlocked her front door and took her inside and down to her bedroom. He placed her on the bed and went to stand up but she was still holding him around the neck. "Liv, let me go get you some water" He said. He looked at her and from the hold she had their faces were only and inch or two apart. Her eyes were closed. "Fitz" she whispered.

Her grip hadn't loosened but he managed to get his head through her arms and placed them on her stomach. Jake stood up and walked to her feet, removing her heels.

"I'm just going to go get you some water ok" he said letting her know what he was doing.

"No water, get me wine!" she yelled.

"I think you have had enough for tonight." he said and she pouted. Jake left the room to get her some water. He filled a glass and went to find some aspirin. He was searching the cupboards when he heard a key in the front door.

XXXX

Fitz sat in the car as it drove around the White House and off the grounds. They did a double take of one of the blocks, he presumed while an agent went into the grocery store to pick up the things on the list he had made. Shortly after they were making their way around familiar streets that lead to Olivia's apartment block.

They pulled up into the basement and Fitz saw that Jake's car was already there, next to Olivia's. Fitz' entourage pulled up right next to the lift and Fitz and his, now four, agents went up the lift. One agent handed him two grocery bags before he put his key in the door.

He opened the door and walked to the kitchen where he found Jake looking through cupboards.

"Where does she keep her medicine?" Jake asked, half to himself, half to Fitz.

"Usually in the bathroom, but I brought some aspirin with me" he said as he retrieved it from the bag. He handed it to Jake who took it and picked up the glass of water and heading back to Olivia's bedroom. Fitz quickly unpacked all the groceries before following him.

He entered her bedroom just as Jake was standing to fill the glass with more water from the bathroom. Fitz walked over to the foot of the bed. When he moved into her line of sight she smiled.

"The only time the two of you have been in my bedroom together was in my dreams, am I dreaming?" she asked. Fitz and Jake gave each other a little look before Jake went to get the water. Fitz looked back at Olivia and walked around the bed to sit next to her.

"No, your not dreaming, just very drunk." he said smiling.

"I am not drunk." she said looking very offended.

"Sorry Livvie, but you are." He said. She crossed her arms and turned over so her back was facing him. Jake came back and put the water on her bedside table and Fitz stood up. They both saw that the back of her legs, below her dress, and her back, from the whole in her dress were dirty from where she had been sitting under the sink.

"I think you need a shower Liv." Jake said. They knew she couldn't shower by herself, but neither wanted to invade her privacy like that, especially because she hadn't wanted to see either of them when she was sober.

"I brought bacon and eggs to cook, you put her in the shower, ill cook." Fitz suggested.

"You're a terrible cook. I'll cook." Jake countered. Fitz nodded.

Jake left the room and Fitz went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She usually had really hot showers so he waited till the temperature was just right before checking the shower had everything he needed and that towels were hanging up before heading back to the bedroom where he stripped down to his cotton boxers and singlet before he sat back on the bed next to Olivia.

"Liv. We need to get you in the shower." He said and gently nudged her back onto her back. She still had the stubborn childlike look on her face, that was until she saw Fitz in his singlet and boxers. She looked him up and down before reaching her arms out for him. He stood up and grabbed her hands, sitting her up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. The zip of her dress was on the side and he unzipped it before pulling it over her head. It was already hiked up over her bottom from all her wiggling. He then unclasped her bra and pulled it off her arms. He then picked her up by the waist from the side and pulled her underwear over her bottom before sitting her back on the bed and pulling them the rest of the way off her legs.

He then picker her up with one arm under her legs and the other behind her back and walked into the bathroom and into the shower. He slowly put her down in the shower. He eased her backwards under the water and tilted her head backwards so her hair was under the water. He then picked up her makeup wipes and began rubbing her face gently with the cloth. "Close your eyes" he instructed when he needed to remove the mascara. Once satisfied all the makeup was gone, he then squirted some of her cleanser onto his fingertips before massaging that into her face and gently washing it off.

He moved slightly and she moved both her hands to grab his chest. She slowly ran her hands down his chest and then into his boxers. He quickly grabbed her hands. "Liv, this isn't about me, this is about you ok." He said before turning her around. He grabbed her shampoo and put some in this hands and began massaging Olivia's hair and scalp. He was massaging the ends when he felt her shaking against him. He turned her around and he saw that she was crying.

"Livvie, what's wrong" he said, concern filling him.

Her lip quivered while she found the words "Nobody wants me anymore, I'm damaged goods" she said before a sob escaped her mouth.

"That's not true." he pleaded with her to believe him.

"Then why wont you let me touch you." she asked through the sobs. "I am really horny and I just want to be loved." she whined through the tears.

Fitz quickly wrapped an arm around her.

"I love you Livvie." Her head fell onto his chest, with more sobs. "Livvie, I have to get this shampoo out" he said as he moved under the water more, trying to hold her head back to not get any in her eyes. She continues to cry. He thinks he got most of the shampoo out so he wraps his other arm around her and slowly sinks to the floor of the shower, his legs extended, and her wrapped up in a tight ball leaning onto him.

"I love you Livvie, nothing will ever change that." He whispers into her ear with his eyes closed. She grabs his singlet tightly with one of her hands and continues to weep. As they sit there, Fitz uses the face washer to wash the rest of her body, the part that isn't glued to him anyway, with light soothing circles.

Jake rushed in when he hear one of Olivia's sobs. He found the two of them on the floor of the shower. Fitz didn't see him, or appear to hear him so he moved back onto Liv's bed and sat down. He waited until she wasn't crying anymore before he moved into the bathroom again.

Fitz saw Jake this time and smiled up at him with a mixture of sadness and sympathy. "Can you turn the shower off, and get a towel?" Fitz asked and Jake followed through.

Fitz carefully wrapped Olivia in a towel before picking up the bundle and carrying her to her bed. Fitz used the other towel Jake gave him to put under her head as he lay her down. He quickly scurried to get her hair product, and moisturizer.

"Can you get her something to sleep in?" he asked Jake. Jake placed them at the foot of the bed.

Fitz returned with a towel around his waist, no shirt, two bottles of product and another dry towel. He placed the products on the bed side table before getting onto the bed. He picked Olivia up in his arms again before moving his back to the headboard, to be in much the same position as the shower. He grabbed her hair and put all her hair into a rough bun with a hair elastic he put on his wrist. He then picked up the dry towel and began drying her face gently, then moving to her neck, then one by one he would extend a limb to dry it. He lifted up her arms to dry her armpits and under her breasts. He made sure she was completely dry.

He then moved her to sit facing the other end of the bed. She was still hunched over so he supported her on either side with his knees. He gently took her hair out and began to towel dry it as much as he could and when he was finished he took her product and began massaging it into every strand.

He then moved the towel from around her and started moisturising her back. When he finished her back and brought it up against his chest and again, limb by limb, he applied moisturizer to every inch of her.

He then once again swung her legs to be over the side of the bed before he hopped out from behind her, but never completely broke contact. He held her by the arm to keep her sitting as he reached for the clothes Jake had put on the bed. With one hand he opened the shirt, it was her campaign shirt, and found the head hole and brought it up to her head. He moved quickly with his other hand to pull it over her head. One by one he put her arms through their holes. He then picked up one of the her boyleg undies, which she sometimes slept in during the campaign. He grabbed both of her hands and placed them on his shoulders and bent down to put her feet in the holes. He pulled them up to just under her bottom and lifter her up much the same way he had got her undies down earlier. This time though he held onto her a little longer so he could pull the bed covers down and he placed her gently into bed, on her side, how she often slept and then covered her.

She was in some sort of catatonic state and he didn't really want to leave her so he moved all the towels off the bed and lay on the other side of the bed, on top of the covers. Fitz lay there looking at her as she returned his gaze, but it felt like she was looking right through him. He moved over slightly and kissed her cheek. "I love you Livvie, and I will always want you." Slowly, her eyes grew heavy and she fell asleep. He waited a little longer before hopping off the bed, hoping not to wake her.

He quietly crept out of her room and all but closed the door. He walked down the hall to find Jake asleep on the couch. He didn't even notice when Jake had left the room. He walked towards the front door and found his small overnight bag there. He retrieved his clothes and headed to the common bathroom to get changed. He put on track pants and his navy shirt. Walking back he passed the linen cupboard and retrieved a blanket for Jake. As Fitz threw it over Jake he mumbled something about food in the microwave.

Suddenly he became very hungry and made his way to the kitchen where he found a plate full of bacon and eggs, which he ate and thoroughly enjoyed. He sat at the dining room table and thought about what to do next. It was 2am and he would need to get back to the White House by 5:30am at the absolute latest, unless he didn't go back at all. He worried about Olivia waking up, but Jake was there. Did she really need him. He decided to stay a little longer. He grabbed a brief from his bag and sat on the one seater couch in the lounge room.

5am hit and he needed to make a decision. Just then he got a call from Cyrus.

"Where are you?" he asked.

"I am at Olivia's…" he was interrupted before he could finish.

"Get back here RIGHT NOW! You have a meeting with Angela Merkel at 10:30am."

Shit, Fitz thought. He had totally forgotten. He would have to go back. "Cyrus, I just have to say goodbye and ill be on my way." And Fitz hung up. He walked into Olivia's bedroom and found her eyes wide open. He sat down on the bed next to her and started patting her head.

"Im so sorry Livvie, I have to go." He said, his heart breaking at the disconnected look on her face that seemed not to have changed since earlier. Suddenly her hand reached out to grab his and she looked up at him, still no facial expression. That was the most movement she had made since she broke down crying.

"Livvie, I'm sorry" he repeated. "Jake" he called out.

Jake woke and moved off the couch to where he heard Fitz call. He was not sure how he felt at this moment. Last night, he saw the tenderness that Fitz gave to Olivia and felt like he was intruding on a private moment. When he walked back into her room, he felt much the same. Olivia was clutching at his arm, he was stroking her hair.

"Jake. I have to go. Will you hold her. I think she needs to be held." His voice caught at the end and Jake could see the devastation he felt in his eyes.

"Of course." Replied Jake.

Fitz bent down closer to Olivia. "I'm sorry Livvie, I have to go, but Jake will be here ok." Then he whispered "I love you" and kissed her forehead. He had to pry her fingers from his arm. He quickly left the room, not wanting to let Jake see him cry. He gathered his things and hurried out of her apartment slightly hesitating at the front door.

XXXX

He arrived back at White House a few minutes before 5:30am and Cyrus was waiting for him at the Oval once he had changed into a suit.

"What were you thinking?" Cyrus yelled.

"Cyrus, she isn't doing very well." He said sadly.

"Olivia is a big girl, she can handle herself" he said dismissively.

"SHE WAS KIDNAPPED CYRUS! She didn't know if she would live, and now she is lying in bed practically catatonic. She is your friend too Cyrus, have some compassion." He began in a yell but calmed down.

Just then Mellie walked in "Is everything ok?" she asked only hearing Fitz raise his voice, not actually what he said.

"Everything is fine Mel." He said walking to his desk and leaning against it with his hands. She walked up and rubbed his back lightly.

"Is Olivia ok?" she asked. Fitz felt his composure slipping. He turned his head to look at Mellie and whispered "I don't know." Mellie could see the sadness in his eyes.

"Do you want me to go check on her?" She asked still rubbing his back.

He cleared his throat before turning around and straightening up. "Jake is with her." The three of them then sat down on the couches and began discussing the schedule for the day.

XXXX

The whole day Fitz was distracted, and he put so much energy into pretending he was fine that as soon as Angela was gone he collapsed onto his couch.

"Lauren" he called and moments latter Lauren entered. "What is on my schedule for the rest of the day?"

"Nothing Sir. Mrs Grant had me clear the rest of the day and tomorrow as well." She could see how terrible he looked. "Sir, can I get you anything?" she asked.

"No thanks Lauren, that will be all." He said and Lauren left.

He lay on the couch for a little while longer before heading up to the Residence. He checked in on little Teddy and played on the floor for a few minutes before he saw Mellie walk past. He got up quickly and followed her.

"Mel" he called after her. She stopped and turned around.

"How are you feeling?" she asked when he reached her.

"You cancelled my schedule until Wednesday?" he asked.

"You did well today." She said brushing the lapel of his jacket before just resting her hands there. "To everyone who doesn't know you, you were flawless, but Cyrus and I could see how off you were. We fought, but eventually I got him to agree. I also packed you a bag." she said with a smile. Before she knew it Fitz had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him.

"Thanks Mel." He said before letting her go.

"Make sure you eat something before you go!" she said before walking away.

Fitz returned to Teddy for a little while longer. It was still too light outside for him to go to Olivia's anyway.

About 40 minutes later, it was 5pm and Daniel found Fitz asleep on the floor of Teddy's bedroom.

"Sir" Daniel light nudged Fitz. Fitz woke with a start. He looked at his surroundings before sitting up.

"What is it Daniel?" he asked.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked. Fitz looked at his watch.

"It is only 5pm, it isn't even dark yet."

"Sir, we are taking advantage of Ms Merkel being in town. All reporters will be following her to one of the events she is going to. We are going through Blair House." He said evenly.

Fitz smiled and his heart soared.

"Thanks Daniel." Daniel smiled before standing up and offering Fitz a hand up.

The plan went well and they arrived 40 minutes later.

XXXX

Fitz used his key and entered her apartment. He found Jake in the kitchen leaning on the counter.

"Jake?" upon hearing his name he spun around. He looked exhausted.

"She wont eat or drink anything and I don't think she has slept at all since you left." He said, concern written on his face.

"Its ok Jake. Why don't you go home, have a shower, get some sleep." He suggested, trying to find a straw in the cupboards, and putting some popcorn in the microwave.

"Will you let me back in if I go?" he asked skeptically. Fitz didn't know if he should be insulted or not.

"Of course Jake. If you want to be here to help her, you are most welcome." He said genuinely.

Jake thought for a while before he conceding. "Ok, ill be back in the morning." Before Jake could leave Fitz held out his hand to shake.

"Thanks Jake. I appreciate your help last night and today." Jake nodded.

While Fitz waited for the popcorn to finish he changed into something more comfortable, a pair of cotton pajama pants and short sleeved shirt.

The popcorn finished and Fitz put it in a bowl, picked up the glass of water and headed to Olivia's bedroom. She appeared to have moved very little since he left her this morning. He placed the popcorn and water on the bedside table and moved onto the bed, bringing her up into the sitting position with her back to his chest, her head resting against his neck.

"Hey Livvie, its me, I'm back and I don't have to go anywhere for a while." He said to her. He grabbed the water with the straw in and held it near her face and tried to get the straw between her lips. Once she got some water she probably realized how thirsty she was because the glass emptied after a few minutes. He placed the glass back and picked up a handful of popcorn.

"I made you popcorn." he said placing his hand under her face so she might smell the popcorn. He picked up one kernel and she opened her mouth slightly, just enough for the popcorn. She only ate three more kernels before her jaw locked in place.

"That's ok, better than nothing. We will try again later" he said as he placed the popcorn back in the bowl and wrapped his arms around her waist. He started humming slightly and rocking gently.

He realized after a while that she was asleep. Feeling tired himself Fitz moved so that they were both laying down. He rested her head on his bicep and wrapped his other arm around her waist.

XXXX