It's been…far longer then I want to admit since I've written anything. Fanfiction or on my own original stuff. I've been so engrossed in gaming, writing shamefully took a backseat to it.

And then I stumbled upon Hakuoki.

I knew I'd love Okita from the minute he opened his mouth. His is still my favorite storyline to play. Heisuke surprised me by being my close second favorite. As I wrote this, I suffered from sleep deprivation, but the inspiration positively boiled out of my fingers and demanded I start writing. NOW. I didn't stop until I could.

I have no idea if this will be long or short; I'm trying not to think too much on it, as it loses appeal when I overthink things. But I've some idea where I'd like to go with this. Hopefully, any of you who read this will enjoy the journey as much as I, so far, am as well. Feedback is always welcome.

Chapter One

Past and Present

To anyone looking on, the group of young men lounging about the dojo that lazy Sunday afternoon didn't particularly stand out. Age wise, there was a bit of a gap, but it was only 9 years that actually separated the oldest from the youngest of them in reality. On that particular day, it wasn't even surprising. They didn't talk much sometimes – there was nothing of particular need to say between them – and simply enjoyed the presence of each other's company.

These kinds of days, Okita Souji decided, were the best.

The world was so…different now. But here, in Shieikan, time almost seemed to stand still and brought Souji back to the days of Edo and the joys of sparring with those who were his peers. Maybe not friends then, per se, but comrades. Brothers, certainly. They'd fought together and bled together; in some cases, they'd died together.

It was hard to pinpoint what had made him remember who he was; the day Okita Souji, Shinsengumi Division 1 Captain, had awoken in him. He wasn't that person any more, of course, but he was him. It felt as if he'd gone to sleep and awoken many years later to a world that had born little resemblance to the one he remembered leaving behind. His life was different.

For weeks, he'd been angry; at anyone and anything, relying on the memories he had of his usual day to day life to get through things. School, he'd quickly decided, was an utter bore. Modern technology was fascinating – he especially liked this idea of immortalizing people in pictures on cellphones. In many ways, however, he was completely out of his element and that made him nervous – which in turn pissed him off.

So the day he entered Shieikan and realized it looked just as it always had, he'd relaxed. Something not entirely unfamiliar, finally. There were new modern touches, of course, but he'd walked to the wall of bokken and grabbed one off the rack just for the feel of something familiar – the weight of the bokken in his hand hadn't changed no matter what era he was in.

Out of habit, he began doing a few of his old moves when he'd heard someone behind him. "What are you doing here?" The familiar whip-crack of Hijikata's voice was unmistakable; Souji had frozen mid-kata and turned to stare at him. At the time, he hadn't known what to make of the expression that had crossed his face, but he'd later found out it had been shock. Hijikata knew.

They all knew.

Apparently, he was the last among them to gain this…awareness of himself, which rankled. It meant their group was complete, however, and it was seamless how they fell into old patterns. On free days, they'd congregate here in the dojo as if summoned by a silent force; just like old times. There were changes to the routine, of course – not everything was the same as before.

On his part, though he grinned devilishly and took shots at Hijikata just because he could, there was a part of him that was hollow now. It was a gaping wide chasm of darkness that took up most of his heart; a place reserved for that countryside home and sunlit afternoons among the trees and flowers. The peace had changed him in many ways; she'd changed him.

Chizuru.

Just thinking about her made him sigh.

"She's out there, ya know." Souji narrowed his eyes as he heard Heisuke behind him, annoyed. When had he snuck up on him? "Chizuru-chan, I mean." By unspoken rules, no one had mentioned her name around him since they'd all come together. Count on it being Heisuke to finally address the big ass elephant in the room. He never did know when to shut his mouth worth a damn.

"Sou ka?" Glancing at him over his shoulder, smirk firmly in place, there was a glint in his eyes that betrayed his otherwise indifferent attitude. "So what if she is?"

Oh, if glares could kill. Souji laughed a bit at the look the youngest of them shot his way. Heisuke hadn't hid his affection for Chizuru worth a damn – something that had annoyed him initially. Back then, he might've become annoyed to hear his words now, but Souji was actually absurdly thankful for it at the moment. Someone else besides him at least understood a small part of the emptiness in his chest. For all their sniping, they'd both cared about her, and if anyone would protect her almost as good as he could, it would be Heisuke. "Che, ass." He sat next to him, pouting for all the world like a child. "Just doesn't feel like we're complete without her, ya know?"

Souji's grin melted as he stared off into the distance. Not everyone had their memories. Kondo and Inoue were here, but showed no signs of knowing who they were beyond being students of the dojo they were particularly fond of. Yamazaki and Shimada were the same. It'd saddened him that Kondo, at least…but in a way, it didn't matter. Kondo would be Kondo, whether he had the memories telling him how to be or not. "Ah." The admission came out so quietly it might have been missed if one weren't paying attention. "Shouldn't you be heading off by now? Isa-chan might get upset."

Heisuke made a face at him that made Souji chuckle despite himself. In many ways, he and Heisuke had more in common now than anyone else. Back then, all the captains of the Shinsengumi had been alone – if they'd had family left, like Hijikata, they'd been at a distance. In this new era where war hadn't stripped them of everything, it was surreal for both of them to remember there were people who really cared where they were all the time now.

They had family.

Though Souji knew his older sister Mitsu had always been in contact with Hijikata about him, she'd always been distant – more so after she married and had a family of her own. Deserved or not, he'd always felt abandoned by her and he'd never quite forgiven her for that. Here, in this new era, she was anything but; their family, though suffering the same loss of his parents, hadn't fractured the way it had before. It'd been tough – Mitsu had worked multiple jobs to make ends meet – but not impossible.

That Kin, six years his senior to Mitsu's nine, was there helped too.

While Mitsu had become the primary source of financial stability, Kin had become the parent. She'd mended his clothes, made sure he ate good food, did his homework, and put him to bed when he'd still needed someone to do so. In and around all that, she'd smiled and grinned, ensuring his childhood had been…happy. Stable. Looking back on it now, it was surreal even for him to think about. Kin had died when she was nine years old during the old days, taken by what he suspected had been tuberculosis as well. An epidemic had swept across their lands, killing hundreds and leading to the decision Mitsu had made to have him live at Shieikan. He'd probably contracted it then as well, though where it'd taken years for him to waste away from it, Kin had been taken in mere weeks. He'd been three years old and had barely known who she was.

Heisuke's situation was fairly similar. His parents were distant bastards – wealthy elitists, really. While they probably didn't care two shits about where he was, he had a little half-sister now who did. They all gave Heisuke crap about the little duckling that would follow him around whenever he brought her, but even Souji had to admit she was cute. These days, she was a teenager who looked unnervingly similar to her brother in many ways. She even fought like him, much to his chagrin.

"Isa hasn't cried about me coming home in years," he muttered, though Souji wasn't sure if he sounded more annoyed or disappointed by that fact. "Was easier back then to just hang out with the guys, I guess. Didn't really have anyone else to really worry about."

"Yeah, we've got to be responsible now," Souji said, straight-faced.

Both of them snorted in unison.

They were silent for several minutes before Heisuke spoke again, staring off as they watched the last of the sun's rays disappear below the horizon. His voice was surprisingly quiet but firm. "You'll find her. And she'll be happy 'cause you're better. We're all better."

Souji didn't answer.

If she remembers, was unspoken between them.

"Souji! Kin!"

Souji didn't bother moving from the porch where he was lounging, snoozing as he was known to do in the late morning sun. Though he held no trace of the ochimizu in him, the habit was apparently still there and he indulged in it – frequently.

Down the hall, Kin poked her head out of the kitchen doorway. In the process of making lunch, he'd guess. "Is it just me or does nee-san sound mad?"

"She's always mad," he snorted. "Dealing with Hijikata all day will do that."

She chuckled loudly. "Not sure I'd use that word to describe it, but we'll go with that."

He cracked one eye open to stare at her, but merely received his own grin shot right back at him before she ducked back into the kitchen again. Despite having longer hair and standing a good several inches shorter, Kin could've been his twin with the same brown hair and sharp green eyes he possessed.

It made it all the more annoying to have his own expressions shot right back at him.

The door behind him slid open then, perhaps with a slight bit more force then was warranted, and Mitsu's aggrieved look confirmed she was, indeed, annoyed. Glaring out into the gardens, she unceremoniously sat herself beside him, leaning back and easily discarding her suit jacket and loosening the top few buttons of her shirt in an effort to relax. It was very different from the demure and polite sister he once remembered from long ago.

Kin joined them outside moments later, wiping her hands and settling herself off on his other side. For a moment, Souji enjoyed the surreal moment of him just lazing about in the sun with his sisters – his family – and couldn't help the pleased grin that crossed his face. Though Mitsu was preoccupied with whatever annoyance plagued her, Kin caught his expression and arched a delicate eyebrow in question. What are you grinning like a fool about?

Oh, you know me, his eyes said, twinkling with his hidden knowledge, making him smile wider and her snort softly before dropping it. Instead, she faced their sister and asked, "So what has you so frustrated, Mitsu-neesan?"

"We're going to be hosting a party." The way she said it made it sound like she was saying, "We're assassinating the Emperor."

Of all the things she could've said, that hardly seemed like cause to be annoyed. Souji grinned merrily at the prospect, in fact. "Eh? This sounds like it'll be fun."

Mitsu shot him a look then, gray eyes filled with equal parts exasperation and affection. "You would like that." Sighing, she muttered, "There's a big name doctor from the states moving back to Japan. The hospital wants to impress him and get him to come on board, so they want me to throw one here." She tilted her head out to look at the immaculately maintained western-style garden. It was an embarrassment of beauty, he sometimes thought, that only the three of them ever really got to enjoy. It looked like something better suited for the emperor's palace. "Apparently, word got around that we have a 'garden fit for the Emperor himself' and his daughter loves flowers."

Kin's eyebrow quirked. "Toshizo-san suggested it, didn't he?" There were only a handful of officials at the hospital who'd ever visited their home – Souji could count on one hand the number of mixers or parties that Mitsu had ever thrown here over the years. Hijikata was the most familiar by far of the few he could name; not only was he his friend, he was also the main pharmaceutical rep for his family's business that supplied over half the drugs used at Mitsu's workplace. Honestly, if he wasn't at Shieikan, he was usually here going over business with his sister. Thinking back among his more recent set of memories, Souji could recall numerous dinners that he'd joined them for because of discussions that ran late. Huh. Something to think about another time.

Mitsu's eye twitched. "Unfortunately, and the Board of Directors think it's a fabulous idea." Under her breath, he heard her mutter a threat towards his old commander for opening his mouth that made Souji laugh. Turning to stare at him, she said sternly in a tone that promised retribution if he disobeyed, "I don't have to remind you to be on your best behavior with the good doctor's daughter, right?"

His expression turned absolutely angelic. "Must you even ask, Mitsu-neesan?"

Kin snorted – a crude sound that seemed almost misplaced coming from her. "Ah, Sou-chan." She leaned her head on his shoulder and laughed – a buoyant sound that shook her shoulders and brought tears to her eyes. Mitsu shook her head at them both and rested her arm on his other shoulder, leaning heavily into his side.

It was very odd to him, these moments. He'd never really had a lot of moments where he'd ever truly felt like a 'little brother'. In the Shinsengumi, they'd all treated each other as equals. He'd even been somewhat superior, in some ways. But here, in these little moments of tranquility, he felt the warmth on either side from both of his sisters and closed his eyes, just for a moment.

It was moments like these he'd have killed for way back when.

"Can I invite the guys?" It was habit, mostly, for him to ask.

Mitsu knew that too, considering she shot him a rather knowing sideways glance. "As if they wouldn't come anyway." Despite her dry tone, he knew for a fact she liked every single one of them. Kin attended college with the elder two of the Baka Trio; Souji attended school with Heisuke and Saito. They were so intrinsically tied up in their personal lives that they were merely an extension of their little family and frequently treated as such. "That warning applies to them too; last thing I need is for Yukimura-sensei's daughter to get upset over the Idiot Trio being…themselves or something."

Souji laughed alongside her for a moment before his brain absorbed exactly what she'd just said. His laughter died in his throat and he was fairly sure the color drained from his face; it was all rerouted to his heart that stumbled over itself and damn near tried to stop mid-beat in his chest. With effort, he forced nonchalance and said lightly, "Yukimura-sensei, huh?"

Mitsu was oblivious, but he caught Kin looking at him out of the corner of his eyes and mentally cursed. She'd raised him, essentially, and could read him so well in a way that it frankly annoyed him at times – like now. To her credit, she didn't say anything about whatever she'd seen or heard in his voice that had given him away. "Yeah. His daughter's name is…Chisa? Chiharu? No, no, no…" She actually had to open up her email on her phone to find it. "Ah, Chizuru. Few months younger than your friend Heisuke, so she'll probably be joining your school when the new term starts if all goes well."

His fingers twitched, wanting to grab at his chest because he felt like he couldn't breathe for just a moment. Will she remember? Souji wanted to scowl at the hopeful voice in his head – the one who sounded like that hopeful little child he'd ruthlessly squashed a long time ago in order to become the Shinsengumi's Division 1 Captain. Chizuru had awakened many things in him from the moment she'd walked into his life – a world of existence that hadn't centered on Kondo, the Shinsengumi, and how he could best serve them until the day he died. He'd fought…unimaginable – unreal – things for the all too brief but wonderful life they'd shared without batting an eye. So it galled him to realize he was absolutely terrified of finding out the answer to the one question he needed answered most at that moment.

What will you do if she doesn't?

A Few side notes:

I've no idea if Okita Kin really did die that young. While Okita really did have a second sister that age, there is no information I could find on her beyond the fact that she existed, so her fate during the time of Hakuoki was purely fabricate by me.

I fully intend to explore Souji's relationship to his sisters in the present further. Family dynamics really are fun to flesh out, and Souji is…well, Souji. I've a feeling their presence may be useful in his current predicament.

Next Chapter: Preparations for Yukimura Kodo's party commence, the Shinsengumi lend a helping hand (or try to), and Okita does…well, what Okita does best to find his answers.