I don't know why I did it, but I blame a post on tumblr and the added tags (#omg yes #now if I could just stop my brain from darting to the phrase 'make me') by my platonic Reid flightsquare. (Link to said post is on my profile since FF doesn't like links?)

So, yeah, this is absolutely silly and totally not really meant to be taken seriously. (aka I will be entirely surprised if it gets more than a couple faves, but hey, maybe it'll bring some laughs)

Work is unbeta'd. I own nothing but this drabble. :')

Pairing: Hotch/Reid - so slash is found in this fic. As in, guy kissing another guy. You've been warned.

There were times when Aaron Hotchner sincerely thought he was dealing with a bunch of children. He typically tried to let it slide because he knew they needed some sort of outlet, but damn it, they were adults. More than that, they were federal agents and they needed to start acting like it.

When he was pulled from an important discussion with the precinct's chief at the start of a case one afternoon by a petulant whine he knew was Reid's, Hotch tried to keep calm; he really did. He managed to politely excuse himself and walked at a measured pace down the hall and into the conference room they had just been set up in. However, that level-headedness abruptly left when he walked into the room to see Morgan and Prentiss tossing something back and forth between them, each time barely keeping out of reach of Reid's fingertips. They hadn't even been at the station for thirty minutes, and they were already acting like second-graders. Worse, even.

All three agents stopped immediately and looked in his direction when he cleared his throat, and Morgan and Prentiss had the decency to look chagrined as Reid flushed in embarrassment from having people witness the situation.

"Sir—" Prentiss started to speak, but she stopped when Hotch lifted a hand.

"I don't want to hear it. Morgan, give Reid whatever it is you stole from him, and then I want you and Prentiss to sit down and keep your mouths shut and your hands to yourself for the next ten minutes. If you're going to act like children, I'll treat you like children," Hotch demanded, his voice low but steely. They both did as they had been told, and then Reid smiled and mumbled something that Hotch couldn't entirely hear, but he knew from the sharp look Morgan sent the genius profiler it was purposely provocative.

"Reid, you, too. On the desk by the door. We don't antagonize our teammates after they've been chastised," Hotch reprimanded, crossing his arms as Reid turned to look at him in utter shock, sputtering.

It took Reid a moment, but he finally managed to say, "What? But Hotch—"

Hotch uncrossed one arm and pointed at the desk. "Go."

"But I—" Reid tried to appeal, which only made Hotch glare.

"Go," he repeated, still pointing at the desk.

By this point Morgan and Prentiss were fighting not to smile, and Reid was looking quite like a kicked puppy. But that apparently didn't stop him from trying again, "But can I just say tha—"

Hotch only believed in three chances, and he gave Reid his last one by asking, "Do you want to make it ten more minutes?"

Reid's lower lip jutted out in a pout, and his shoulders slumped as he made his way across the room and to the desk. He turned around and hopped up on it, angling his hands on the wood so they were partially beneath his legs, and then he looked across the room at the map on the board with a pitiful expression on his face.

It was awkwardly silent in the room, and Hotch could hear several officers snickering in amusement outside, but none of them dared to comment on what had occurred. When the first ten minutes were up, he cleared his throat. "Prentiss, Morgan, I want you to assist Officer Townshend in her efforts to interview potential witnesses."

"Yes, sir," both agents answered immediately, pushing themselves up and walking out of the room as quickly as they could.

Hotch didn't look at Reid, but he could feel the profiler's eyes on him. "Your time-out didn't start until a couple minutes after theirs, Reid."

"Hotch, please," Reid whined softly.

Hotch shot him a look, an eyebrow quirked. "I'm going to let that one slide, but unless you want to sit there for another ten minutes, you won't speak again until your time is up." Reid made a pitiful noise, but since that didn't count as speaking, Hotch let it go, and a couple minutes later, he finally sighed, "All right, get up. You and I are going to the morgue."

Reid did as he was told, and Hotch didn't wait for him before he left the room and headed directly outside. Reid was still sulking as he walked across the lot towards the vehicle, making a beeline for the front passenger's seat. Hotch stopped him before he could open the door, however, earning only a brief glance from underneath eyelashes.

"I don't know what makes you think you can act like this, but you're stopping it right now," Hotch commanded, his tone soft but serious.

And apparently Reid hadn't learned his lesson because the next words out of his mouth were a grumbled, "Make me," and Hotch felt his eyebrows shoot up. His lips curved into a smirk when he saw Reid's blush as the profiler realized what he just said. "I didn't—" Reid started to apologize, but he choked on his words when Hotch brought his mouth close to Reid's ear. The view from the building was blocked by the vehicle, and the one from the road wasn't much better, so Hotch wasn't concerned about being seen.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he murmured, enjoying the way Reid shivered as his lips brushed the genius's ear. "If I bribed you to keep you in a good mood." He gently nipped the cartilage, drawing a quiet whimper from Reid's throat. Slightly dissatisfied with that response, he nibbled the shell of Reid's ear.

"Hotch," Reid barely squeaked out with a slight squirm, and Hotch pulled his head back before grasping onto Reid's jaw and turning the genius's head to press their lips together. His other hand slid into the younger man's hair, and Reid made a soft keening noise as he allowed Hotch to lick into his mouth. Hotch didn't permit the kiss to last for long, however, because his goal wasn't to make them aroused and therefore unable to concentrate. He pulled away and took a step back, enjoying Reid's flushed face and slightly swollen lips.

Hotch chuckled, leaning in to give Reid a quick, gentle kiss. "Now get in the car and stop acting out, or you're grounded for a week."

It took a moment, and Hotch was already around the car, but he couldn't keep the grin off his face when he heard Reid's plaintive, "Hoootch."

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