"I would join you, but I'd rather not be seen after that."
Fandom: Tales of the Abyss
Characters: Jade, Luke. Minor mentioning of the others.
Warnings: Spoilers. Specifically, Jade's past. And Shounen-ai.
Prompt from: ALynnL

Notes: A sort of what-if scene? Possibly AU-ish or at least alternative scene setting. But it had to be done. Because I am the biggest sucker for these two and hnnnng, feeeels. MY OTP FOREVER AND EVER. -curls up in the corner and foams at the mouth-

It was done.

Nebilim, or rather, the hideous replication, the monster he'd created to look like Nebilim, was no more.

Jade was unsure if what the sensations of feeling that were swirling in him were still that of guilt, of relief, or sorrow. Perhaps it was a mixture of it all... As much as he told all the others to embrace their own pain and come to acknowledge it, he was the biggest hypocrite of them all as he was more than terrified to confront it all.

However...

"Jade?"

He slowly turned and looked down slightly to stare into the large, emerald coloured eyes of Luke.

Luke.

A replica.

A being created through his own foolish research.

He was as much at fault for Luke's existence as Van was. Because if the technology had never existed, the thoughts to use Fomicry wouldn't be there, either.

But he supposed that even if he hadn't been the one, someone else as ambitious-as stupidly driven and obsessed as he had been-possibly Dist or someone else entirely-would have created it.

Either way, it was foolish to debate on who it could or would have been if not him, because it was set in stone that it was he, and he lived with it.

He supposed... In a way, he stayed, even if he had many chances to leave, to claim some form of responsibility over the events that were both beyond him, but at the same time, partially caused by him.

"Jade... Are you okay? You look even paler than you normally do..."

Luke's voice was filled with such concern, his tone was unusually soft and almost timid, unsure. His eyes swam with many questions, and Jade was mildly surprised the redheaded replica was not firing them off in one, continuous string.

Jade tried to think of something to say, but no matter how he reached for his usual quips, a comeback, even something to divert the topic at hand, nothing came. Nothing answered in the swirling vortex of all the thoughts and feeling running through him that he couldn't get a grasp on.

After several long moments of silence, and Jade trying to ignore the piercing, but completely innocent stare of the other, he finally heaved a long, heavy sigh, letting his eyes slip closed, bringing a hand up to slowly slide his fontech glasses off of his face momentarily and rub his eyes.

He felt unusually bare, but if there was something... If he had to answer properly, then the most he could do was show Luke all the vulnerability that was there within him. He'd seen Luke's so many times, and while he'd shown mere glimpses of his own in response-how could one not? It was Luke, who was so open and free with his own thoughts and feelings-he had never been this open, or truthful.

"...No, Luke. I'm not. I'm not sure what to feel. This is something I wasn't-I wasn't ready or wanted to face. And perhaps, as childish sounding as it seems, I wanted to keep running. Because facing it meant facing everything. All of my mistakes, all of my regrets... I still don't know if I can deal with it all." He finally answered, slowly, his voice filled with weariness and the chaotic mix of emotions spilled out in his tone. For once, he didn't sound like the spry, young-acting Colonel that Luke was so used to seeing.

It wasn't the strong, confidant, deadpan snark and quip making man. Instead it was a worn, hollow, regretful man filled with mourning and self-hatred. Luke's eyes widened marginally, lower lip trembling the slightest. His whole body shook. He could almost feel said chaos even without needing to hear it, it was emanating so strongly from the Colonel.

Tilting their head upwards, Jade still didn't open his eyes. Truly, he wasn't sure how he was even supposed to begin or try to handle this. All these years, he still had no answers. He'd still found no solution, no way to truly atone or fix the things he'd done. There was no bringing Nebilim back, there was no erasing Fomicry. There was no quick-fix Fonic Arte that he could cast that would make him wake up back in time to stop it all.

And when he'd thought he was getting a grip on some of it, along came this Replica crashing into Malkuth and thus, his life. He didn't know anymore. And to someone as logicically driven and scientific as he, that was terrifying. And while all scientists and people of logic strive to understand and learn the unknown, Jade was almost positive he never would come to understand this.

Before he could even begin to reign his thoughts in, or make a move to put his glasses back on, he was startled as he sensed more than felt Luke move, and then the next thing he was aware of, was the replica's arms around him. And a moment beyond that one, felt the warm, but wet splatters soaking through his uniform.

He was startled and his eyes flew open of their own accord, unrestrained power flowed through him as he did, but his eyes met and stared down into those same emerald eyes. Eyes that were now glossed and glittery with tears falling from the corners.

"Jade..." Luke said, his expression was twisted as if he were fighting to decide on some type of reaction, but slowly a smile-however pained-rose to their face.

"It's not childish. And you're... You're far stronger than me, even. To have dealt with it this long, to let it eat at you... You don't have to deal with it all at once. Just what you can for the moment." Jade felt more than heard the redhead's words sink into him. He wasn't aware of his own movements, but he was made so when he felt his fingers tighten in the fabric of the back of Luke's overcoat. He was holding onto the replica just as readily as the boy were clinging to him.

He wanted to say something, but couldn't. He never really expected to hear his own words in a sense come back to him, and from Luke of all people. Luke's eyes were filled with nothing but pure understanding and acceptance; he felt and related more than anything to him in this moment.

Impulse struck him, and the Colonel bent down, closing the gap between them as he fused their lips together. It was instinctive, reflexive; to reach for something to connect to. For something-anything-to understand and relate to.

Luke's eyes widened further, but the replica didn't pull away or even tense up. Surprise filled him, but there was no confusion, no repulsion. He didn't need to know why to understand that this was something Jade-maybe even himself-needed. Because he felt the pain dull, both inside of himself, and that coming from Jade.

His eyes slid closed a moment later as he relaxed and was content to stay pressed close, wrapped in Jade's arms with their lips comfortably pressed together in the gentlest, if not emotionally charged kiss.

It felt like eternity and only the barest of milliseconds, just that simple contact and everything that was felt from it, but Jade pulled away, eyes opening once more-unaware they'd even closed, to stare down at Luke once more, whose eyelids fluttered as they dazedly opened again to reveal those still glittering emerald pools.

He could still feel his fonic power searing through him so with yet another sigh-but it was lighter, softer-he pulled away from Luke and his embrace to slowly push his glasses back into place and take a few moments to blink and let the inhibitors realign and fall back into place and suppress his fonons.

"Jade..." Luke said softly.

Jade looked back down at him in silence. He was momentarily worried that the other would start in on the bombardment of questions, that he would say something pertaining to his impulsive, possibly reckless action. But when his eyes once again met the replica's, the boy the smiled again at him, eyes still soft. The redhead reached out, and took Jade's hand with both of his.

"What are you-" Jade quietly began to ask, but didn't have to finish as Luke's eyes closed and his body began to glow and emanate a white light.

The Colonel immediately felt the boy's fonons flood into him, he was completely aware of every one as it filled his body, and he almost was baffled at how they nearly fused with his own, yet remained separate to themselves at the same time. And just like that, they left, and any physical pain he was feeling was gone.

...And honestly, much of his inner ache was dulled down.

Luke's eyes stared into him and he gave the man another smile. "I'm no healer like Tear or Natalia... But it's the best I can do."

Jade's mouth opened slightly, in surprise, and to demand an answer to his question of 'what did you do', but he already knew the answer.

Luke was made up completely of Seventh Fonons. Seventh Fonists were capable of the grandest healing, even without actual spells. If they linked and shared their fons with another, it could restore a person to truest physical health like nothing.

But...

Luke's eyes grew dull and unresponsive, and after another moment, eyelids slipped shut as the boy swayed and let out a low groan. Jade quickly caught the boy's prone form, eyes widening. "You fool!" He hissed.

"You shouldn't have done that...!" But the Colonel's words fell upon deaf ears as the replica had already fallen into unconsciousness.

He stared at the boy for a moment. So many feelings still stirred in him, but he felt he could push them aside. For now. Luke's stupidity warranted his annoyance first and foremost.

And yet... Somewhere in him, he knew he wasn't truly annoyed. And he couldn't honestly call Luke stupid. He far exceeded and surpassed any intelligence that Replicas should show or possess. But all of that was irrelevant to Jade right now. Luke was Luke, replica or no. He'd shaped and created his own identity...

He still felt an ache at his center, over everything concerning Fomicry and replication, but it was bearable now. He picked Luke's form up completely and decided it was best to get back before the others worried that he'd gone and murdered the boy.

Chuckling the faintest, he felt some of his usual self return. 'Hmm, and what grand excuse shall I make this time? I do love seeing their utterly baffled and abashed expressions~'

When Luke awoke, it was already the next morning. When he exited the room he woke up in and went to the front area of the Inn, he was surprised it was empty.

Empty, all except for Jade.

"Ah, good of you to wake up, Sleeping Beauty. I was afraid I was going to have to send Tear or Guy in there to give you the Kiss of Life." Jade remarked teasingly, pushing his glasses up on his nose and smirked.

Luke felt his face flushing before he snorted. "Whatever. Where are the others?"

"They went out to take a break and restock and all those wonderful things you normal people do." Jade hummed dismissively.

"I see," Luke replied before smiling. He decided he wouldn't push the man. As much as he was acting like usual, he could still see the distanced, weary look to the Colonel's eyes.

Turning, he walked towards the door before glancing back as he reached it. "I think I'm going to go for a walk myself. Want to come along?" He offered quietly.

Jade moved his head enough to look directly back at Luke. A contemplative look passed across his expression before the man shook his head. "I would join you, but I would rather not be seen after all that happened right now..." He answered back, tone softening, but remaining serious.

Luke's own eyes softened at the man's reply before he nodded in understanding. "Alright." He murmured before turning to face the door.

"Next time, though," The replica's voice carried back to Jade as the redhead opened the door.

"I'll drag you with me come hell or high water. Pretty sure all this being stuffed indoors all the time is bad for your skin and why you look so pasty." And with that, the door shut, leaving Jade to stare after the boy in a near stupefied silence at the Replica's sass.

After a long moment, the man let out a short, but amused laugh. "Hah... Oh, my. It seems as if I'm losing my touch, to be outwitted by such a young brat. Ah, well. I suppose he has a point..." Jade murmured, taking a glance down to his glove-covered arm and hand, amusement still in his eyes before they turned back once more to the door, gaze once more going contemplative.

"...I don't know what I can possibly do... But I can at least see it all through. I won't run... I've ran long enough. I have no answers, but there must still be something ahead..." The man murmured, before nodding to himself before he turned and walked back down the hall towards his own inn room, closing the door behind him.

His mistakes were made, and maybe he couldn't take them back...

But he could prevent more from happening.

And...

If anything, Luke's growth, the fact he overcame and surpassed more than any Replica was meant or made to be, perhaps was a sign in and of itself.

It was enough.

-End-

End Notes: -continues flopping in the corner and foaming at the mouth- Please excuse me as I drown in feels from having wrecked myself with this. These two, JFC. Halp. I'm way too deep. MY OTP~! -gurgles in agony- Hope every one of you that read this enjoyed it, even if it ended up wrecking you, too. (If so, my apologies.)