A/N: The end is nigh, my friends. Massive thank you to everyone who took the time to review and fave/follow the story. I hope reading it has been as cathartic for you as writing it has been for me. With all the recent spoilers and speculation for series 5 (mainly about Killian and his potential ties to Camelot), I'm almost certain that this story will become completely non-canon by September 27th, so I'm glad I got my take on it down and out before this becomes completely AU!

As a reward for your getting through the angst-fest this fic has been (sorry about that...I have dark thoughts :P), here is a short FLUFF-FEST to finish off with. Because in life, happy endings are so rare...we might as well let them exist and run riot in fiction!

If you've enjoyed this fruit of my twisted brain, please consider leaving a final review to let me know! Thanks again, and peace out!

Chapter 11

To my Swan,

If you are reading this letter, it means that either you have finished reading my story, or you've skipped straight to the end of the book (take that shocked look off your face, Swan; I know you have a habit of jumping to the end of books!). If the former is true, then thank you. Thank you for taking the time to learn about my past. I have never uttered a word, or otherwise shared, the majority of the memories I have recorded here. I must admit, I was somewhat scared to show even you, but I want no secrets from you. I just hope you don't think lesser of me after learning what you have.

I know what you'll be thinking, having read the very last words I wrote all those years ago: "until Milah." I can almost picture your face; that adorable crease your forehead makes when you start to doubt yourself. And I know there's that pang of jealousy when her name is mentioned; trust me, Swan, I feel that same pang whenever Neal is mentioned. And so I also understand how hard it is to trust that you are loved as much as she was. So I feel I need to explain to you a little more about the man I was when I met Milah.

In the years after Liam's death, I became someone I had never wanted to be. I was filled with anger at life, the injustice of it all, at all it had denied me and taken from me. I hurt a lot of people, and I did a lot of things that I'm not proud of. I was arrogant. And that's the man that Milah loved. Together we stole, together we killed. Our love was built on a shared hatred of the world, and a desire for revenge upon it and its inhabitants. We fed off the darkness in each other. But it wasn't happiness, and it wasn't satisfaction. It was empty, and it was cold. Of course, it wasn't all bad; despite it all, at least I wasn't alone. Then after she was killed, that loneliness returned full-force. My hatred intensified, and became absorbed upon one man. And it fuelled a rage that lasted hundreds of years, following me to Neverland, with all those years focussed solely on ending the crocodile.

But alas, I'm going off-topic; the true purpose of this letter is to tell you the most important part of my story. It is not recorded here, because it occurred many, many years after I finished writing this book. It's something that changed me - changed my entire perspective on life, helped me finally move past the ghosts that had haunted me for so many years. It crushed the hatred and rage that had festered in me for centuries, and brought me a happiness I could never have even hoped to attain. Anyone else would have figured out what, or whom, I'm referring to by now, but I know your preposterously misplaced lack of self-worth will hold you back from that assumption. But it's you, Emma. Everything I am, everything I have ever wanted, I have found in you.

I never realised how dark my life had been until you came along and lit all the candles. From the moment I laid eyes on you, it was like you were calling to me. I could sense your strength, your tenacity, and your untapped capacity to care and love. It sounds crazy, but I swear that I saw something in your eyes; I saw that you were like me; I saw the loneliness and the anguish hiding behind your greener than green gaze. And I couldn't draw my own eyes away from you. Though I played the game, put up that façade of arrogance that I had hidden behind for so long, my heart was screaming inside my chest. I knew without a doubt, from the first moment that you spoke to me, that you would never again be far from my thoughts. And I was right. I would have then, and always will, follow you to the ends of the world.

By now, you must know that I love you. And though I will never understand why, I know that my love is reciprocated. But I also know that, at times, you still doubt yourself. I just wish that you could see yourself through my eyes, Swan. And I will gladly spend the rest of my days trying to show you just how loved and adored you truly are. The single greatest choice I ever made was to follow you up that beanstalk.

After Neverland, when that curse was coming and you were forced to leave Storybrooke with Henry, I believed that not only would I never see you again, but you would not even remember who I was. It felt like my life was ending, right there and then. Back in the Enchanted Forest, I tried so hard to move on, to get by however I could. I fought like hell to get my ship back, stupidly believing it might go some way to filling the gaping hole you left in my heart. But nothing worked, and I knew that I would never again be whole. Until I got the opportunity to come to you in New York, to find you and bring you home. And when I had, I vowed to myself that never again would I be separated from you. I know it took you time to trust me, to open up, to reciprocate my feelings for you. But believe me, my love; I would've spent the rest of my days fighting for you.

And then when the darkness took you and I saw your name on that dagger, I was terrified. I know now, that the day I lose you, is the day I cease to exist. And I thank whatever powers there may be, that you were strong enough to defeat that darkness, and come back to me. And now here we are, after everything, and I have to pinch myself upon waking every morning, just to be sure that this is all real. I do not deserve you, Emma. But I know now, that all the hell my life has been, was leading me to you, and I would go through it all again just for a single moment at your side.

With all my love, my Swan,

Your Killian

Killian was still stood leaning over the railings of the Jolly, looking out over the ocean, when he heard quick footsteps behind him. He turned to see Emma running full pelt up the gangplank, stopping just for a second at the top as her eyes met his. He couldn't quite get a read of the expression on her face, and before he could ask her what was wrong, she was rushing across the deck. He turned his body just in time to catch her as she barrelled into his chest, her arms gliding around his neck as her lips crushed into his.

He returned her fevered kiss with equal fervour, his own arms snaking around her waist and holding her tight against him. He could have stayed like that forever, but the taste of salt in her kiss alerted him to the tears she was shedding, and he pulled back ever so slightly to take in her expression. His hand came up to her cheek to rest along her jaw, his thumb wiping lazily at the tear tracks down her face. He couldn't look away from her gaze; the intensity of her red-rimmed eyes on his own had him trapped within her stare.

"So, I'm guessing you read the book," he muttered, smiling ever so slightly in embarrassment.

She laughed at that, choking back a half sob as her hand tangled in the hair on the back of his head and pulled his forehead close to meet her own.

"I read the book," she whispered, "Killian, I'm so sorry. I never knew…"

"Don't apologise, Swan," he interrupted, pulling back slightly so he could look in her eyes.

She sniffled slightly, her face growing sombre.

"All that stuff that happened to you, when you were a kid," she muttered, pausing for a moment to consider her words, "Killian, you've survived so much."

"As have you," he answered, his expression growing equally grave.

"You read mine?" she asked, surprise clear in her tone.

"How could I not?" he answered, the corner of his lip curling up just slightly in a half smile, "You're the one mystery that nothing can hold me back from solving."

Emma laughed again timidly, her hand stroking around from the back of his head to rest on his cheek. And then his eyes became downcast.

"What is it?" she asked concernedly.

He swallowed thickly.

"I'm sorry for everything that happened to you," he said, his eyes not meeting hers as he focussed on a freckle on her collarbone.

"For once, I'm not," she answered, and his eyes flashed up in surprise to meet hers, "Killian, there's so many things we went through that happened to us both. You can't truly understand what all that stuff does to a person unless it's happened to you. And we've both lived it. As much as I wish that stuff hadn't happened, at least it's brought me closer to you."

"Emma, the thought of anyone hurting you…"

"Kills you," she interrupted, "I know, I feel the same about anyone hurting you. But it's all in the past."

"Aye," Killian answered, smiling timidly, "that it is. And I swear, no-one will ever lay so much as a finger on you while I'm around. I promise, I'll keep you safe."

"And I, you," she whispered back.

They fell into a brief silence, just lost in each other's eyes as they tried to come to terms and accept all the new information they had learned about one another. And then Emma spoke.

"Did you mean what you said? Well, what you wrote…" she asked, and Killian frowned, unsure as to what she was referring, "In the letter. Did you mean it all?"

And then his face softened, and his lips were on hers, gentle and slow. Then he pulled back, their noses still touching, to whisper, "Every word."

She smiled broadly, and he followed suit as she placed a quick peck on his lips.

"You know I feel the same about you, right?" she mumbled against his lips.

"I do now," he whispered, nudging her nose with his own.

"I love you," she said, breathing him in and letting out a quiet sigh.

"I love you, too," he answered, tightening his arms around her waist as if he never intended to let go, "always."