"It's the oldest story in the world. One day you're 17 and planning for someday. And then quietly and without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life."

One day you're eighteen years old, and the two of you are planning your someday, your future, and you lie on the bed in your dorm, trying to keep quiet because god forbid anyone hear you, pressing together with soft lips and even softer sighs. And he pushes you to join that stupid frat in the first place, because that's what college is all about. And you can't say no when he asks you, especially when he grinds his hips a certain way that makes you forget about what he was even asking in the first place.

And then someday comes, and you're kicked out of school, and as you look at him, you can't help but remember sunny days laying out on the grass, fingers intertwined as you planned a future, and you wonder if it was all a lie. All the days you spent pressed together on the two twin beds you moved together, planning for a future that looked like it was an inevitability.

And it comes crashing down around you that while you were promising forever, Bryce was only granting you a day at a time. And then he looks at you, and his eyes are so cold, and you wonder if you ever really knew Bryce Larkin at all.

And then the someday you planned for becomes yesterday, and you're working at a retail store, and this is not where you thought you'd be, but you put on a brave face and make the best of it. Because where else could you work with your best friend since you were little? And having Morgan around helps, because while the wounds you have don't heal, they scab over, and don't hurt quite so much anymore.

And over time Bryce Larkin fades into just a memory, and you think it's for the best. You try to forget it when Ellie sets you up on date after date, woman after woman, but you don't know how to tell her that you're not interested in anyone right now, and that when you're with them, you can't help but remember strong muscles where there's soft skin, and the beginnings of a whiskery beard in place of lipstick, no matter how hard you fight against it. And how do you tell her that Bryce was supposed to be your person, and he betrayed you, and how do you even move past something like that?

And then someday becomes a distant memory, and Bryce sends you the Intersect, and Sarah Walker comes into your life, and Bryce is dead, and you don't know how to deal. Because there was never supposed to be a world where Bryce didn't exist, and you stand at his funeral trying not to cry because Bryce doesn't deserve your tears. You gave your heart to Bryce Larkin, and Bryce Larkin tore it into pieces and threw it away.

And you squash down the small part of you that misses Bryce. The part of you that never stopped hoping that this was all a bad dream, and you'd wake up back in that dorm room with Bryce curled around you, and you felt warm and safe and comfortable. And then you see Sarah, and it hurts to know that she and Bryce were partners, and probably more. It hurts to know that you're coming in second to the man that ruined your life.

But you cling to her anyways because Sarah also has a piece of Bryce, and you think that maybe it'll bring you together. Two people grieving two very different Bryce Larkins, but your grief binds you together either way, and it's like a balm on your wounds. And you go on missions together, and you wonder if this was what it was like for Bryce, and then you almost get killed, and you realize that you're not cut out for this.

And you can't help but wonder why Bryce would send you the Intersect. You're not a spy. You're not. You're Chuck Bartowski, and you're the head of the Nerd Herd, and that should be enough explanation.

And then you learn that Bryce did everything he could to protect you. And it hurts, and you wish that Bryce was here. You wish that you could talk to him. You wish that you could turn back time, and hold onto the moment where Bryce promised you that everything would be okay. Wish that maybe Bryce would tell you the truth now that you know he did it to protect you, and maybe begin to repair the relationship you lost. And it's like an ache in your chest, and for the first time you allow yourself to cry.

You cry over the life you were supposed to have, the life that Bryce promised you. And you want to scream and shout and laugh and cry because you loved Bryce Larkin. You loved him so goddamn much that no one else will ever be good enough, and once again, you have to remember that you're living your life without him. And then you get angry because even though you were together, it wasn't Bryce's job to protect you. You could protect yourself, should have been given the choice, although from the sound of things, you maybe never had a choice after all. And then you remember that you didn't have a choice when Bryce gave you the Intersect, and you get angry because once again, Bryce Larkin took away your choice, without ever asking you how you were going to get through this.

And then Bryce is alive, and he's asking for you, and you struggle with the decision to see him, because how do you face the man that ruined your life twice? And then you see him, and you feel a flood of emotions because you can remember that face at eighteen when the whole world was opened up to you, and long sunny days were spent on picnic blankets, and cold winter nights were spent cuddled together under a pile of blankets. When forever seemed like an inevitability, and someday seemed like a far off dream.

And you can remember his face right before you went to your professor's office, when he promised you that everything would be okay, and you remember his face as you packed up the last of your things, when he turned cold.

And you're twenty-five now, and Bryce Larkin ruined your life, and you can't forgive him for that. And then he starts speaking to you in Klingon, and you fight back the lump in your throat because that's your language. That's your special thing, just for the two of you, and how dare he try to pretend like nothing ever happened.

And then you respond in kind, and you see a small sparkle in his eyes before he closes off and maybe the Bryce you knew isn't gone.

And then he holds you at gunpoint and you remember that this is not the Bryce you spent hours with learning each others' bodies, and days spent chasing each other around the library. This is someone who wears the face of Bryce Larkin, but it's someone you don't know at all.

And you make it to the elevator, and Bryce lets you go, and he tries to joke with you, and you just get so angry. Angry at yourself, for coming here, and angry at Bryce for crashing back into your life like a wave along the shore. And then he apologizes again, and you flash on the Fulcrum agent, and everything gets so much more complicated.

And then Bryce knocks you out, and disappears and you find yourself missing him. And you wonder if there's anything you can do to find him, because you want answers, and all you ever seem to end up with is more questions.

And that's just how it goes.

Things seem to end up okay at Thanksgiving Dinner, and you're surrounded by your friends and family, and at one point you can't help the pang in your heart when you remember that not to long ago you would have brought Bryce around. And suddenly you wish for things to be different. You wish that you were eighteen instead of twenty-five, and that someday was still a possibility.

You end up having to grab the marshmallows, and your heart leaps out of your chest when Bryce emerges from the shadows, and he asks what happened to you. And you get angry because it's all his fault, and doesn't he get that? Doesn't he get that you you loved him, and Bryce let you go, and then it breaks your heart when he asks to speak to Sarah.

Because Bryce has moved on, and it doesn't matter that you haven't, because Bryce never cared.

Bryce isn't the one for you. Bryce chose a path that didn't include you, not even when you were together, and why should you make all the sacrifices, that you didn't even know you made? Bryce Larkin doesn't deserve your tears, and he doesn't deserve your time.

And you should probably feel bad for dropping the ball on Bryce and Sarah, but you see him kissing her, and something inside you snaps. He's kissing her in your bedroom, and it's like a nightmare you can't wake up from.

You hate Bryce in that moment, because he obviously never loved you and it hurts. But then you feel guilty because even though Bryce never loved you, and he betrayed you, Sarah is your friend. And she was hurt by Bryce too.

So you jump up to stop Casey, and Bryce is gone, and Sarah is probably mad at you, but you can't think about that right now. Because Sarah has no right to be mad. And you should probably feel guilty because she didn't know.

Sarah didn't know that you loved Bryce, and Bryce probably never told Sarah about you, and you feel bad for her, because she's not the only person Bryce lied to.

And suddenly you wish you never have to see Bryce again. And then it turns out that he's in Casey's apartment, and you see him again, and your heart skips a beat, because he never went rogue, and then Casey shoots him, and your world goes black because you lost Bryce Larkin again, and you didn't mean what you said about never seeing him again.

When you come to, and realize that Bryce is still alive, your heart clenches. And he tells you the story of how he survived, and you want to believe him, want to imagine that Bryce is is really that lucky.

And you flashback to his funeral, how your world went dark, and irrational anger courses through you because Bryce was alive, and the world is unfair because you grieved Bryce, you grieved him. And the world is a bitch, because you would rather have gone through your whole life without knowing that Bryce was actually alive, because at least when he's dead you can miss him without feeling guilty. You can miss the way you fit together, the way the world had shrunk to just the two of you.

And you can pretend that someone else would have come along, and you would have been happy. Because you can't be happy in a world where Bryce is alive and you're not together.

And then you come up with a plan to turn him into the CIA, and it's goodbye all over again, and you want a moment alone before it's time to leave, and then Morgan sees him, and it's almost a disaster. And you see the momentary flash of pain in Bryce's eyes when Morgan mentions how Bryce ruined your life, and you want to say something, but you can't, and guilt crashes through you because whatever Bryce put you through, he went through something much worse.

And you don't understand it, don't know why after all these years you feel like you might be able to forgive Bryce, but then you never were very good at holding grudges.

And then you get your moment alone, and Bryce apologizes, and you want to forgive him, but you stop yourself because you might not be angry anymore, but you're still hurt, and Bryce should know what it feels like. And then Bryce is gone, and Tommy the Fulcrum Agent is in front of you, and Bryce is in trouble.

Your heart sinks to the bottom of your shoes because you let Bryce down.

He's in trouble now, and your friends are in trouble, and you have what feels like the weight of the world on your shoulders. And then you have the possibility to save everyone, and Casey grabs you, and he puts you in a safe room, and you take a moment to be shocked by the guns, before you have to hide when the shooting starts, and then Bryce and Sarah come in, and they work together, and you realize that they make a good team, and it hurts your heart, because maybe Sarah is better for Bryce, and then you're in Tommy's hands, and Bryce is looking at you and he's speaking in Klingon, and you answer in kind, and you close your eyes as Bryce shoots you in the chest.

And when you come to, Sarah is leaning over you, and you want to laugh because yes, you were wearing a vest, and Tommy is down, and the NSA cleanup team comes in, and Bryce disappears to talk to General Beckman.

And then Bryce comes out in a tux, and your heart skips a beat. He always knew how to make you weak in the knees, and you make jokes to cover it up, and you wish you knew where he was going, not because you want to follow him, but because you want to make sure he's safe.

You may never have Bryce again, but you can't help but want him.

You can't help but remember the promise of someday, and the inevitability of forever, and it hurts to watch him walk away from you.

And then Casey tells you that Bryce is going deep, and that he'll probably call Sarah, and Sarah will go with him, and you will lose any connection you have to Bryce. And you can't help but want, you can't help but wish, and hope, and dream, and think of the someday you used to dream of.

And when your phone rings later that night, and Bryce wants you to come with him, your breath catches in your throat, and you stumble out excuses about Ellie, and Morgan, and Captain Awesome, and now Sarah and Casey, and Bryce understands, and maybe that makes it worse.

So Bryce leaves, and you live under the knowledge that you'll never see him again, and that's okay because you've lived without Bryce once before, and you can do it again.

And if the gaping hole that you thought had healed over is open again, well then it healed once, and it can heal again. Because Bryce Larkin is not your forever. He is not your someday, and you need to remember that.

So when emails start coming through, incoded in Klingon, you consider deleting them, because this isn't fair. Bryce isn't allowed to do this. Not now. But you read them, and you reply back, and even though Bryce is god knows where, you feel just that little bit closer.

And if you start to fall in love with him again, well then that's no one's business but yours. And maybe one day you'll be able to trust him again, and maybe one day, you'll hope for someday, and that inevitability of forever.

Because with Bryce Larkin, forever isn't just a possibility, it's an inevitability.