Chapter 1 – Scary Moments

'It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child, and someone special to love someone more than herself.'

Gabi's POV

Scary things happen often. A car accident happens and somebody loses their leg and dies. A plane disappears out of know where and nobody knows where to find it. You get fired from your dream job. Your mom is hurt and you have to wonder how much longer she might last. Your pet gets sick. Your son falls and takes a minute too long to get back up. The school calls in the middle of the day and you wonder why. There are these scary moments that people face everyday. They get up thinking that day is going to be the most normal day they ever thought would happen. You wake up and do your normal routine like you would everyday. In the morning everything feels the same.

You shower, you change, you do your hair, and you finish your make-up. You think nothing is going to happen, you never think something bad is going to strike down on you. You think it is all going to work just like it did the day before. The mornings are sometimes people's least favorite part of the day but they are the most normal part of your day. You have a routine and you do it…everyday. Yet the un-normal things begin to hit…one by one. The day unfolds and new things happen everyday. Causing them to become un-normal.

When scary moments pop up, you take a minute, you breath, and then everything falls in an instant clap. This slow motion domino begins to fall, you watch while you scratch and try to get the best help. You try to make sense of it. You try and you try and you fail. You want to scream, you want to cry. You want to protect everybody in the path of the storm and as a mother you want to protect your child from any harm. This rapid panic sets in and you clutch to everything you have, the storm may last for one minute to days and hours. The day that you thought was so normal is suddenly…real.

Yet you can't prevent scary things. They come when you don't want them, they come when you least expect them. They come when your heart hurts the most. They come and they tear you down until you are so vulnerable everything you have is showing to the world in front of you.

Collin laid his head in my lap as I stroked his brown hair; he was still running the fever he had been running for weeks. He was still in pain when you touched him or asked him to walk or move. He wasn't my baby boy who I had loved for the past 3 years. He cried when he shifted and I felt my heart hurt as I looked at him. They always say a mother feels the pain her child feels and sometimes they feel it twice as bad. I have watched Collin suffer for weeks on end now and I was hurting for him. I just wanted my baby boy to be better and nobody was helping us. We were waiting in yet another doctor's office. It was the 5th one I had been in since he started acting sick.

I finally had taken him to the ER hoping to get somewhere with him here. Everybody kept turning me away telling me that I was crazy, it was teething, he was going to be fine just let the small fever sweat it out. I wasn't crazy. I knew Collin because he was my own child. He was my blood and my DNA; he was the baby I have known since the day he was born. I know my child and I know I am not crazy. He was an active, sweet, three year old little boy who loved to run and play with everything he could get his hands on.

In the past six weeks he had stopped running, he had stopped walking, he hated to move, he started to cry with little movements. He had a low-grade fever, he was constantly tired, he just wasn't himself and nobody would believe a single mother. Nobody believed a single mother who had no idea who the father was. "Ms. Montez," I looked up as the old doctor moved in, he moved so slow I thought a turtle could pass him. "We think it could be just a virus," a bubble stirred inside of me as I gently moved Collin off of my lap and I laid him down onto the bed. I then asked the doctor to step out into the hallway. My blood boiled underneath of the surface. Damn virus my ass.

"A virus?" I asked him, strain rolled over my shoulders, "Probably," Probably? The word raced through my mind, probably, a word you used if you didn't know. The word you used if you weren't sure of the answer you just gave somebody. I narrowed my eyes to the man.

"Probably?" I asked, my voice rising, "You probably think my son has a virus? Do virus last for six weeks? Do they just randomly make your kids legs stop working; take all of his energy away from him? Do they randomly just suck the life out of his mother for six weeks? Do they make him complain of pain? Disturb his sleep? Do viruses actually do that or is it just because you don't want to try and look," Breathe Gabi, breathe. In and out, in and out.

"We can't find anything," he shrugged his shoulders, I was so done, "You haven't looked!" I demanded, "You have only done a physical exam, please run a CT, run an x-ray, I don't care, I need to know why my child isn't himself anymore! You have done nothing to help me, you have looked at him and you kind of shrug your shoulders at him because you don't even look at him! You are just trying to move me through the ER because apparently I am crazy! I am not crazy! I love my child and I know he just wants to feel better," I had started to cry at some point and my voice had risen, "So please, if you will, just help me find my little boy who is lost because the one in that room is not the same son I gave birth too. Something is wrong with him and nobody will help me." I covered my eyes with my hands as tears leaked out, I was exhausted, and I just wanted to curl up next to Collin and sleep.

"Ma'am," I uncovered my eyes as I looked up.

"Is something wrong here?" I looked up as a young guy who was tall as he looked down at me; his eyes were such a piercing blue that I felt like I had fallen into the Caribbean ocean. "Uhm," I fumbled over my words as I took a calm breath trying to regain any composer I might have, "My son, has been sick for several weeks, he has had a low grade fever and my sweet little three year old had the utter most energy and now he can barely keep his eyes open, he can barely walk, and he doesn't eat that much anymore, something is wrong with my child and I need help. I need help, that is all I have been asking for and nobody will help me." I began to cry, again, as the man nodded his head, those blue eyes so understanding. "Webber, I have this," he said taking the file out of his hands.

His hands were strong as you saw every single vein in them; I even saw them through the blur of my tears. I tried to gain my entire composer but it was slipping as I was so tired and I could barely focus. Dr. whatever his name was walked away as the man looked through Collin's chart.

He peered through it as he gave me a warm smile, "I'll be right back, I am going to go get a pediatric doctor to take a look at him and he isn't leaving until we have an answer for you okay? I am going to make sure you get the help we are supposed to provide for you. Okay?"

I nodded my head, "Thank you," I said, "Thank me later," he turned and walked off as I wiped my eyes and walked back into the ER room. Collin was sitting up as he was rubbing his eyes. "Collin," I whispered, he looked up as he tried to muster a smile but he was tired of being poked and prodded, I was tired of watching him be poked and prodded. I sat down and pulled him into my lap.

"I'm going to fix you little guy, I'm not going to let you go, I promise," I whispered into his ear, "I promise mommy is going to make everything better," I rubbed his leg as he cuddled into me. His little hands folding into my shirt as he held me tighter.

Troy's POV

I looked through the file that I had just taken from Old Geezer Webber who was freaking a mom out. Something was most likely wrong with her child but it seemed nobody was looking. He had symptoms of several things so why was everybody ignoring her? I had learned in the many years of being in the medical field is to never doubt a mother. If they come to tell you something is wrong…something is most likely wrong. They have this sixth sense to them about their children. I only wished as a doctor I would be able to have the same thing but I guess a mother will do. They were normally crawling through the hospital anyways.

Decreased appetite, decreased mobility, sleeping, easily agitated, I read over the words again as I tried to figure out what one thing this could be but I wasn't sure yet. I wasn't sure of anything right now anyways. I was supposed to be sleeping somewhere but the screaming, crying mother in the hallway of the hospital distracted me. Something wasn't right with this case and nobody had even run an x-ray on this poor guy. I shook my head as I stood in Casey's doorway, "Casey," she looked up, her blonde ponytail flipping backwards. "Yea?"

"I have a case for you,"

"Oh do you? Is it a good juicy one that I can just giggle and jump all over?" she asked with a big smile, I laughed as I shook my head. "I mean…I could go and find you someone to eat you vampire," I teased, she laughed, "What do you have Bolton?"

I nodded, "I went down to the ER to grab a resident and I heard a mother freak out on Webber. Her three year old son has in the past six weeks run a low grade fever, lost mobility, lost his appetite, sleeps a lot, easily agitated, doesn't do a lot from what mom describes as a very active, loving, healthy three year old," Casey frowned, "And Webber was…?"

"Sending her home saying it was a virus," she scrunched her nose and rubbed the bridge, "CT, x-ray?"

"No and no," I frowned as I told her these words, I can't believe they didn't even run a CT or an X-ray. It was unbelievable. They won't kill the kid. It is one stinking x-ray and the doctor organization doesn't see it fit here.

"Why does he still work here?" I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know but the mother has been to five different doctors looking for help and she really wants to fix her son. It's been six weeks for them, which is a long time for a little guy. She is pretty upset over the whole ordeal or pretty damn tired. She seems to need somebody to just listen to her and help her."

"Got it," she muttered, "I'll head that way right now, you doing anything fun tonight?"

"I have one kids scans being ran and read and then my other kid is starting his chemo regimen," I said with a shrug, "Pretty simple evening,"

"Have fun," she said as she flipped through the file, "Oh, I will,"

Gabi's POV

I tapped out a text on my iPhone to Susan, my receptionist, at Brooks & Damon, the top lawyer company in Denver, Colorado. I sighed as I looked at Collin who was sleeping again, a blanket up around his waist as I brushed his hair out of his eyes. He shifted and moved his hands as I held on to him. His face was so peaceful as he slept unless he tried to twist and move. His eyes were a deep brown that had sparkles of another color that I couldn't tell. His thin lips were straight and his tan complexion brighter against the blue shirt he was wearing. A soft knock came at the door and the door opened quietly as an older woman, maybe early 40's, with blonde hair looked at me with a smile.

"Are you Ms. Montez?" she asked, I nodded my head as I looked back at Collin, "Yes, you can call me Gabi though."

"I can assume this is little Collin?" I nodded as I felt a smile pull of my lips, "Yea," He will always be my little guy. I loved him too much for him to be anything else.

"Well, I am Dr. Casey Jones, all of my patients parents call me Casey, and I am a peds doctor on the floor tonight. So I want to hear all of your concerns. Please, don't hold anything back; I want to know everything about this little guy. I want you to tell me so many details I have to take five pages of notes," She said with a smile, a reassurance flooded through me as I began to cry right in front of her. A mental note ran through my head to find the doctor who got her for me to say thank you. She laughed as she patted my back. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear somebody say that,"

"I bet," she said with a smile, "I heard it has been a little rough in the past several weeks,"

"The past six weeks have been very rough,"

"Well let's start way in the beginning with your pregnancy, how was it?" I sighed as I played with my jeans, my fingers traced a small pattern as it was hard to open up about such details to new people but I knew it was for Collins best. "The pregnancy was easy, I had very little morning sickness and it was easy. I carried him until he was 41 weeks and he was a very healthy baby."

"No complications?" she asked as she wrote something down, her pen was purple as it slanted as she wrote. My mind flickered back to Collin as I looked at him and then back to the doctor.

"Not one. No high blood pressure, nothing, it was easy. I told my OB if all of my pregnancies were like that then I could be pregnant forever," she laughed with a smile, "Do you have other kids?"

"Oh no, he is my only one but he is my life."

"So he was a healthy baby?"

"Yes, he never got sick, he was very easy baby, I mean he was sleeping through the night, it was just so easy. I loved it, we would cuddle and we were together all of the time. He had RSV when he was about nine months old but it wasn't severe, when he was two he had the flu and each time it took maybe a week for it to go away or at least he bounced back from it. This, this has been six weeks and every single day he gets worse. It just started with decreased energy, which I thought was due to the low-grade fever. After that he stopped running around so much and was moving slower, when that went away he was basically crawling again, he then stopped moving. He hates being picked up or being moved a lot." I paused as I looked at Collin, "He rarely eats enough food for it to be called a meal. He eats a couple of bites and then gets so fussy I think he is going to burst a blood vessel."

My hand drifted to his blanket as I adjusted it, he opened his eyes as I smiled, and my fingers found his.

She nodded her head as she was taking notes, "All of the doctors have told me it's a virus, that it will go away on it's own and I keep trying to tell them that no, it's not going away, this is something else, he isn't my same little boy. He isn't the same little boy who I have loved for the past three years. I know when it's just a cough, I know when it's a little bit more like the flu and RSV, I know that feeling and I don't have that feeling. I have this feeling of I have no idea how to get him help because he is in pain. If you touch or move him the wrong way he cries and is sometimes inconsolable. He has ran low grade fevers, he barely walks anymore, he doesn't eat the same, I just want… I want my little boy back."

"Very understandable, does he go to his yearly doctors appointments?" I nodded my head, "Yes, we see them right around his birthday which his birthday was a little over seven weeks ago."

"So he just turned three?" I nodded my head, "Yes,"

"Alright, well, do you mind if I do an exam?" I nodded my head, "Please," she smiled as I glanced at my watch; it was already late in the evening. I bet she needed to get home to her family, she was married and I knew she had to have kids if she works in pediatrics. Collin woke up as he cried at another person touching him. He began to cry as she moved his legs; his cries grew louder, as my heart wrenched at the little cries that came out of his mouth. He began to call my name as my fingers shook, "its okay Collin," Dr. Casey soothed.

"It's okay baby," I whispered as I pressed my lips into his hair, "It's okay Collin," he cried as he tried to reach for me, his fingers wrapping around my hand as I was going to cry if he kept crying like this. He was my only weakness in life.

I stroked his hair as he squirmed to get away, she pressed on his belly and she frowned a little bit. I felt my heart race as she kept doing little things; she listened to his heart and looked at his eyes while he cried. She moved backwards, "Hey, it's okay big guy, do you want a sticker? How about a popsicle?" he looked up at her and his cries didn't settle.

I picked him up as she talked to him again, "Collin, I have stickers of puppies and kitties," he peeked up at her and I rubbed his back, "Puppies," he said quietly, she smiled, "Do you like puppies?" he nodded his head as she got out a couple of stickers. "Here you go, I'll get you a popsicle too," he nodded his head as I looked at her, "I want to have a CT scan run and do a blood count on him, we will go from there after that okay?" I nodded my head, "Somebody will be back shortly to get you for the CT alright?"

"Thank you so much," I whispered to her, "I can't even begin, I need to find the young doctor who came and got you because I would have been sent home again and I just know he needs help."

"Thank you for being patient, I don't ever want to understand what you are going through." She paused, "Do you have a husband?" she asked, I shook my head, "No, I'm not married nor am I dating, it is just Collin and I." she gave a soft smile, "Alright, well, I will send a nurse in with a popsicle and we will be on our way." I thanked her again as I relaxed with Collin.

I held him tightly as we rocked gently in the little bed. We were still in the ER as I rubbed his stomach but he winched, I sighed as I kissed the top of his head when the door opened to reveal a nurse with a big smile. "Collin?" he looked up but turned into my chest, "It's alright buddy," I whispered into his ear about how if he was good he could get a new toy car, how he could pick it out and everything.

"I am here to have him change into a gown and to give him a special Popsicle requested by Dr. Casey," I smiled as I stripped him of his clothes and put on the gown as they gave him a Popsicle. "Thank you," I said with a smile, they nodded as I rubbed his foot gently as they came and took blood from him, which caused him to cry forgetting about the Popsicle. I tried to sooth him as I wrapped him up in my arms as he continued to cry.

I felt exhaustion rush over my body, as I just wanted him to feel better, that's all I wanted. Dr. Casey walked back into the room as I smiled softly, "Someone isn't happy," I shook my head, "No, he didn't like giving up his blood," I admitted to her, "He just isn't used to all of this…doctors and needles."

"Nobody should be," she said with a small smile. I nodded as I rubbed Collin's back to try to get him to clam down.

"We are going to sedate him for a CT," she said with a sad smile, "And we are going to admit you guys for overnight observation as well. We will run more tests and do other things as well. We are going to get to the bottom of this Gabi, you deserve that as a mother." I felt an overwhelmed feeling of gratitude come over me as I felt a big smile come over my lips.

"Thank you so much, I will never be able to repay you,"

"You will when I know what is wrong with him okay?" I nodded as she smiled, "I'll see you guys in a bit, we will move you guys up to the normal Peds floor where I will be since this is a children's hospital," I thanked her again as she left. A nurse came in to give him an IV as I held his hand as he screamed bloody murder.

"It's okay Collin, I know it hurts buddy, I know, I'm sorry," I whispered into his ear, he cried as they put him onto a bed as I held his hand, they let me come back while they sedated him, I had to sign papers as I held him while he was sedated. I whispered into his ear how much I love him and how I would find him a new truck to play with when it was all over.

Once he was out, I laid him down and kissed his forehead. They wheeled him down a hallway as I felt my chest cave. I wasn't ready for this; I wasn't prepared for this scary moment.

Six Weeks Ago

I laughed at my desk as I sent out a fax and then I stretched out. I looked at the picture of Collin on my desk as I smiled at the beautiful face; he was all smiles and looked almost nothing like his dad…who ever that was. I didn't know who Collin's dad was and that was okay, three years ago at the end of law school I went on a wild spree of men.

There were several candidates and I thought I would know who it was when he was born but…he was spitting image of me. His bold brown eyes and his Latino skin looked back at me when he was born. I actually had a thought of who the dad was and I had a really good guess but I was happy. I didn't need a guy to help me out anymore than a guy wanted to probably help me out. I knew it was completely unfair to whomever the dad was to never tell them but what was the need to tell them? I didn't know who they were and bonding with a complete stranger over a baby, fighting for custody? No thanks. I am just going to keep this to myself.

It was tough in the beginning of the go around with him but I was an associate who was pregnant. I had my job before I found out and I kicked ass all the way up until my 41st week of pregnancy in the courtroom making a name for myself. I took two months off of work and found an awesome daycare for Collin before I returned back to work.

I cut my hours to eight to four and I was always home. I took less cases but I still worked on the top of my game. I had worked my way up in the rankings and was happy with where I was. I loved my co-workers and I had fun every now and then but I had no true best friend. Collin was my best friend.

I pushed away from my desk as I went out and I picked up my copies I had made as I went to Susan. "Can you please mail these to Mrs. Kennedy," she looked at them, "Yup,"

"Thank you,"

Going into my office I adjusted a few things as I grabbed my bags. Collin had just turned three last week, June 21st, 2011. The day that he had captured my heart and I would never want anybody else to have it, he contained it all, I hadn't been with a guy since the spree after I graduated law school and finished my internship. A man burst into my office as I looked at him, "May I help you?"

Susan came up behind him as she said something, "My wife is going to take my children out of the country," I frowned, "She doesn't want me to have them and I don't understand I just, I need somebody to help me stop this act,"

"Does she have sole custody?"

"We are married,"

I turned my head, "We just decided to separate last week and since that day she says I have no right with my children,"

I put my bag down as I looked at Susan, "Please call Collins daycare and tell them I will be a little late,"

"I can go pick him up,"

"Perfect, thank you,"

Now – August 2nd, 2014

I sat nervously in the room as I waited for Collin to be delivered back to me. It had been an hour since he was taken from me and I felt nervous and upset. I just wanted him back in my grasp. I wanted to see his dirty hair that most likely had applesauce in it from last night's battle to eat. He had screamed for hours at the table and splashed his food around everywhere until I gave in crying with him. We both lay down and cuddled until his screams turned into soft snores.

"Right here," Dr. Casey's voice entered as I looked up, she wheeled Collin's bed into the room as I stood up. They put him into place as they hung his IV bags; he was still asleep or had fallen back asleep. "He has woken up but our little guy here fell asleep again," Dr. Casey said, I smiled, "That isn't normal," I said quietly, "I bet it isn't. We are waiting for the CT scans to come back and we will look over them and talk with you all about them," She adjusted some things on the monitors. They put a pressure cup around his arm and hooked it up, a pulse monitor on his finger, another wire to somewhere else. He was going to hate this.

"And then?"

"We will talk from there," she said with a smile, "Will it be all night?" I questioned, "Well, it's going to take a while since it is after eight in the evening but I promise you that I will try and get back to you as soon as possible okay? I understand the feeling of being put into the dark so I will try to tell you something as soon as I can."

I nodded my head as I stroked his hair softly with my fingers. I thanked them each again as I sat down next to the bed when he woke up, he began to cry as I picked him up and settled him into my lap. I wrapped him in my arms as he settled down as I closed my eyes, willing him to fall asleep again. "Momma,"

"Yea buddy?" I asked, "I hurt,"

"I'm sorry baby, maybe we can get you some medicine." I said as I adjusted his hospital gown they had put him into. The racecars on the front made it a little bit better instead of the plain old strips.

"Okay," he said quietly, I kissed his forehead as I paged a nurse, she came in as I looked at her, "Can we get anything for his pain?" she nodded, "I'll get some Tylenol," I thanked her as I scooped him tightly in my arms. "I love you so much Collin,"

"I love you mommy," he whispered before he fell into another sleep.

Troy's POV

"Good morning," I announced as I walked behind my desk, the nurses said good morning back as I hung up my jacket and put on my lab coat. I sat down as I booted up my computer and logged in. Emails began to roll into my Mac as I turned to find a couple of charts to see what I had on my schedule for the day. Dr. Casey appeared in my doorway with a file. "This is yours." She said, her face even and almost upset.

I looked at her with an arched eyebrow, "What?" she handed me the chart as I looked at it. Collin Montez. "I gave this to you yesterday," I said with a shake of my head, "So it is yours," I told her as I held it to her, "Incase you forgot, I am not a resident. I don't do charts,"

"I know you aren't a resident Mr. Attending, this is your case now. I figured it out, you get to be the big guy in charge now." I felt my stomach sink as I looked at her, "You are joking right? This mom isn't looking for what I am going to tell her."

She shook her head as she handed me the CT and the other papers. "Oh my God," I muttered as I looked at it, "I figured you would want to talk to her and see him," she said softly, "She is a mess too. She just wants her son to feel completely better and she finally got somebody to listen but I'm not sure if we listened in time or not."

"I can't even, this is horrible," I muttered as my fingers traced the shapes, I thought of the girl I had seen yesterday who was in tears trying to get help for her son. She loved her son and I knew she would go to the moon and back for this kid. "Hell," I muttered, "I sometimes hate my job."

"Bolton, I would never in my life want the job you have today. I have never seen a mother so attached to her son,"

"Fuck," I said softly, "Fuck, fuck, fuck,"

"I know,"

"I want a bone marrow aspiration and a bone scan, I want to see how far this has spread," I told her quietly, "Don't alarm the mother yet, I want her to be calm to get this little guy through the scans."

"Are you going to go and talk to her?" she asked, "Yea, I will," I paused as I looked at the scans shaking my head again.

"So we aren't going to move her floors?"

"Not yet, I don't want to worry her just yet. Once you say the oncology ward they freak out and they won't leave me alone. They want to know everything and they are panicked."

"She has been hoping for something so we can make her child better but how are you going to tell her it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better…if it ever gets better."

I rubbed my forehead, "I have no idea,"

Gabi's POV

I woke up with a pit in my stomach; I looked down at Collin as I kissed the top of his head. I went out in search of coffee and I could only find it in the café. I didn't like being this far away from Collin. I poured the coffee as the steam rolled off of the top, I dumped a couple of packets of sugar in, stirred it together, and tossed my trash away as I took a sip of my drink.

On the elevator up, I entered his room to see the doctor that had been here yesterday who had got me Dr. Casey. I walked up as I cleared my throat, he turned around to look at me and I got caught on those blue eyes again. He shifted and a flash of worry crossed his features and he then smiled. "I wanted to thank you," I said with a smile, "Dr. Casey is fabulous and it has been a joy being with her. She has really helped me unlike the past six doctors," he smiled and nodded, "That's fabulous,"

"Yes, thank you again, you were the first doctor to listen to me and to get me what I needed. She has made Collin feel at ease and I feel like we are going to get somewhere."

He shifted as he took a deep breath, "I am actually Collin's doctor today," I raised my eyebrows as I saw Dr. Casey this morning; she had come to see Collin and to check up on him. "You are?"

"Yes, Dr. Casey wants me to run a couple of more tests today and then this evening we will have the cause to your sons pain," a flash of relief crossed my face as he smiled, "I haven't yet actually got to meet Collin, so may I?" I nodded as I guided him into the room where Collin was still sleeping. "He was in a lot of pain in the middle of the night,"

"We can get him some morphine," he spoke softly as he pressed on his stomach and a couple of other places, he examined his back as he looked up. "We are going to do a bone aspiration on Collin, he is going to have to be sedated again for this producer and he is going to be pretty sore from it. After that, he will have a bone scan and after that we should be able to fully tell you what's wrong."

"Thank you Dr…" I let it drag on as I had yet to even learn his name, I wanted to know the name behind those blue eyes. "Troy, Troy Bolton," he said with a smile; he stuck out his hand as I shook it. "Gabriella Montez," I said, "You can call me Gabi though,"

"I like it," he said, I smiled as I sat down in the chair; Troy did a couple of other things before he left. He talked to a nurse as suddenly Morphine was being brought into the room. His smile had a sexy charm to it and I couldn't take my eyes off of him when he left the room. Shaking my head, I stretched out as Collin opened his eyes. "Mama?"

"Yes sweetie?" I asked, "Can I have pudding?"

"I'm sorry bud, you have to do a couple of more tests," I whispered, "No, I want to go home," he said, I felt a sad smile cross my face, "I want to go home too. Soon though okay?" he nodded his head as I kissed the top of his head. My fingers rubbed his hand as nurses began to come and go and I began to worry more.

The day had dragged on and by mid afternoon Collin was in tears from pain and it was just a long day. I held him as he cried and cried into my chest. I was exhausted, as I didn't get an ounce of sleep last night. I was too anxious about his results coming back. He screamed as I was going to scream with him too as I hugged him closer to my chest. "I'm sorry Collin, I'm sorry," I tried everything to get him to calm down but he was just suffering. My heart broke at each sob and scream that came from his mouth.

"Oh man, what's wrong little man?" I looked up as I saw Dr. Troy Bolton walk in; he was in a scrub top with a pair of scrub pants. Collin was screaming as he held on to me as Troy came over, "Can I see him?" he asked me, I was gladly ready for a small break as I handed him over. Collin cried harder in the transition as Troy tried to calm him, "I know big guy, this day has sucked huh," Troy pushed a couple of buttons on his machine as Troy tried to soothe him. He gently rocked him as I took a couple of breaths trying to calm my self down.

I watched as my heart was breaking, I couldn't help him and I only hope Troy could help him. I hope it was simple. Troy rested him in his bed as his crying died down as he hiccupped, "There you go big guy," Troy said quietly, "How did you do that?"

"I upped his pain medication a little bit," he said with a blush, I smiled, "Oh really?"

"Yea, his bone marrow aspiration is probably pretty sore so," I looked at him as I was wondering what he was waiting to tell me, "Is everything okay?" I asked Troy looked at me as he looked around. "Do you have anybody with you?" he asked, I narrowed my eyes as my stomach twisted. "No, I don't have any family or friends,"

"His dad?" he questioned, "It's just me." I answered; he turned around and rubbed the back of his neck. He turned back around to face me, "We ran several tests today on Collin and it wasn't good," I felt my heart race as I gripped the edge of the bed. He didn't know how to give me the news. It was bad. Something wasn't right as I felt my breath come in rapid gasps. "Gabi, Collin most likely has cancer." My legs gave out from underneath of me as I felt my breathing go labored, "Gabi, hey," I looked up as I was sitting on the ground, his blue eyes captivated mine as I looked at him. I couldn't remember what he just said to me. I couldn't process anything besides those words.

Collin most likely has cancer.

A rock hit my gut as I felt panicked, my heart raced, my breathing was fast as I shook my head. This couldn't be happening, this wasn't possible. No, no, it wasn't. I can't.

"Gabi, hey," I looked up as Troy was right in front of me.

"Take a breath okay," I nodded as I took a deep breath and he helped me up, he eased me into the chair next to Collins bed as I took more breaths as I looked at Collin. "I know I heard you wrong," I whispered, "Collin doesn't have cancer," I said shaking my head, "Collin is healthy and happy, it's just a stupid virus," I felt the tears rush into my eyes as I looked at Troy, "He can't have cancer, he is all I have, I can't," I started to cry as I clutched my chest as Troy set me down in a chair as I cried.

"We are going to do a biopsy tomorrow but I am 99% sure its cancer,"

"No, no, no, you are lying to me. You can't be honest with this, he is fine, and I want to take him home. It will go away," I cried as I tried to get up but Troy gently eased me back into the chair.

"I know how hard this is to hear, I am so sorry," I cried as I felt everything inside me rush out. He rubbed my back as I came too it, I looked at Collin as I shook my head, "He was fine," my lips trembled as I looked at his face which was paler than normal, his hand was sitting on top of the blankets as I shook my head trying to keep all of my tears at bay.

"I am going to take care of him, I am a pediatric oncologist," he looked at me as he held my eyes, nobody did that anymore, "I am going to take care of Collin and I am going make sure he is going to be okay, okay?" I nodded my head as he nodded, "I am going to do the biopsy tonight and we are going to figure out what we are dealing with before we freak out. After that we will start and we will fight okay?"

"Okay," It was the only words I could muster right now, it was the only thing that ran through my head as I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and stomped on so many times.

He gave me a soft smile, a smile that might have made my knees weak months ago but right now, I just wanted to smash anything into a wall. I wanted to smash everything. "I'll be back in a little bit,"

"Okay,"

When he left I felt like my world around me had fallen apart. The scary moments, you had no idea when they were coming, you had no warning, and you didn't get to have one last final moment of solitude before the world comes crashing in around you. You are just thrown into the pit of fire with a sign that says eat me because you are unprepared, lacking information, scared for the next fire ball coming at your face.

I got up as I crawled into the bed next to him and I wrapped my arms around him. I hugged him close to me as I kissed on him, I held him tight, and I wanted my little Collin back. I wanted him to be mine and I wanted to love him forever, I wanted him to be in my arms forever.

The scary moments left you weak and scared, there are some moments in my life where I wish I were more prepared for everything that was thrown at me.

Five Weeks ago

"He has just been running a low grade fever," I said to the doctor, "I have been working a lot the past week so some extra time in day care but I don't know, I am just making sure it isn't the flu or anything," I told his doctor, she smiled as she looked over the chart. "No, he seems pretty healthy. It could be some teething or other things but he should be fine."

"Awesome," I said with a nod of my head, "Big case?" I nodded my head, "Yea, it has been pretty crazy in and out of court,"

"Well Collin is looking very healthy," I smiled and thanked her again as I walked out of the office as Collin ran up to the car, I helped him up as he protested that he could buckle the seat belt himself. I smiled as I kissed the top of my head, "Do you want some ice cream buddy?"

"Pwease!"

I shook my head as I shut the car door and I grinned, I loved being his mom. He was the best little boy in the entire world.

Now – August 3rd, 2014

Troy entered the room as I wiped at my eyes, it was the following day and he should have the report back from the biopsy they did in his stomach. "Can you come to my office?" he asked me, I nodded as I wrapped my arms around my body, the breeze cold as I followed him on the oncology floor. The words felt bitter as I entered his office, the walls bland, no pictures of wives and kids. The walls were boring and white; a lone Mac sat on the desk as he had two chairs on both sides.

"Boring office," I said quietly, my brain numb from everything and apparently I didn't have a filter either. Troy laughed a dry laugh, "I don't like spending my time in an office so not much goes in here," he said with a shrug, "I would rather be out on the floor where my patients can reach me." I nodded as I turned to look at it again; I turned to look back at Dr. Bolton as we both caught each other's eyes. Our mouths moved at the same time as we both stopped, he nodded his head towards me as I let out a breath.

"How bad is it?" I asked, my eyes settling on his chair, "Take a seat," he said softly, I did as he looked at me. "Collin has stage IV Neuroblastoma, it's what I thought he had when I looked at it," I felt my stomach flip when he said stage four. I felt tears in my eyes as I pressed my hands to my face, I couldn't stop the sob from creeping up into my mouth as my shoulders shook. My baby had cancer. My baby was sicker than I thought. It took me several minutes to regain myself as I looked up at Troy because I knew he had more. "Collin's main tumor is in his stomach, it's about the size of a softball, a little bit smaller which sits on his right kidney on his adrenal gland," I closed my eyes as he continued, "He has another tumor pressing against his spine which his causing the pain in his walking, he has several small tumors on his bones all around and traces of it in his bone marrow,"

The news was heart stopping as I began to sob; I bent over, as it didn't sound good never less the odds of him beating this. My sobs hurt my chest as I sobbed; I could barely breath as I cried. I felt Troy's hand on my back as I cried in his office for what felt like ever. "Breathe," his voice entered my ear as I sucked in a gasping breath. His voice caused shivers down my spine and goosebumps broke out on my arms. I rubbed my eyes and I hiccupped. "I'm sorry," I said, "I'm sorry, I should handle myself better." I told him with a shake of my head. "No," he said, his lips pursed together, "This is completely normal," his hand rested on my back as it was about the only warm part of my body.

"Do you want me to continue or do you want to wait?" he asked me, I knew he wanted to finish but I didn't want it to continue. I wanted time to stop and I wanted to fold Collin in my arms. This day was just too much to keep going forward. "Go ahead," I said softly, my voice so light I could barely hear the words that escaped my lips.

"The tumor is too big and complicated to start with surgery first. Collin is going to have to have chemo to shrink the tumors, and then we will do a surgery to get rid of as much as we can. After that, we will most likely do some more chemo, a bone marrow transplant, radiation, and probably antibody transplants."

I shook my head, as this was so much information as I shook with fear. "I can't, I can't do this right now," I cried as I got up, Troy hesitated but he let me walk out, I walked back to Collin's room as I looked at him, tears were full flooded as I looked at him. I stroked his hand, as I had nobody to tell, I had nobody to go too. I was suddenly so alone in the world I was beyond scared.

I was going to have to tackle this by myself. I was going to have to make the best choices possible for him. I was going to have to be strong. I looked at him as I let my fingers trace down the side of my face as twenty-four hours can change your life so fast. "I am going to do the best I can to save him," I turned around to face Dr. Bolton as I took a big breath.

"What are his odds?" I asked, he looked at me, "I don't like odds," he said, "They are fact,"

"They also put doubt into my patients mind and nobody needs that when they are about to enter a very long journey," I looked at him as I nodded my head, "You think this is all the right route for him?" I asked, Troy nodded his head, "I will run it by a couple of more colleagues but I want to start as soon as possible. I want Collin to beat the odds because his mother has been fighting for him for the past six weeks and now I am going to help you fight okay?"

I nodded my head as he smiled, "You are a very strong woman, are you sure you don't have anybody I can call?" I rubbed my eyes, "No," I said quietly, "I don't, and I wish I did, but I don't."

"That's fine. After I get my consultants on his case, I will have you meet a surgeon who will be placing a central line into his chest so we don't have to give him an IV every time we need to do something, after that we will start six rounds of chemo, five days of chemo and then a month rest. Hopefully, in six months we will be able to take his tumor out of his stomach and every other tumor. If we see that the tumor has shrunk after say three chemo regimens then we will remove the tumor then,"

"Why so many and so far apart?" I asked him, "His tumor is quite large and he has many of them on his bones. We just want to make sure we are going in with a successful way, we want to get as much of the tumor as possible." I nodded my head as I rubbed my eyes, "I don't know,"

"It's okay," Troy, said, "I do know, that is what I am here. I know what I am doing; it is going to be a very long grueling process so if you know anybody you might want them to come, the more support the better,"

"I don't have anybody," my voice snapped as I felt like I had told him this so many times before. "My parents are dead, I don't know who his dad is, I have been in law school and a lawyer for the past six years, I don't have friends. I have an assistant. I am by myself. I don't have anybody." Troy looked at me and I turned away from him as I stroked Collins hand. "Mommy?"

I smiled as I looked at him, "Hey buddy, how are you feeling?"

"Tired," he replied, I nodded as I kissed his forehead, "I bet you are tired,"

"Collin, hey buddy," Troy made him self noticed as Collin looked at him, "I am Dr. Troy, you are a very brave young man, how are you feeling?"

"Okay," he answered, his eyes flickered towards mine as I pushed his hair back, "Collin, your mommy here is pretty awesome," Collin looked at me as he smiled, "I love my mommy,"

"I bet you do, she is pretty cool."

A smile crossed my lips as Collin gave a big smile, the one I had missed so much, I kissed the top of his head, "I'll be here…if you need me." Troy said as he looked at Collin, "I'll see you in a bit big guy," he nodded as I squeezed his hand as Dr. Troy Bolton walked away.

With every scary moment there is a brief moment of relief, that moment where you remember it's not impossible to keep breathing and somebody…just somebody might be there for you even if it is a complete stranger.

Ah! I am so ready for you guys to enjoy this story! I am in love writing this story and I hope you guys love it just as much! Spread the word about this story and let's get some readers back into the world!

I hope you guys are in love with sweet Collin because he is by far one of the best things I have ever written. So sweet.

Sorry it took so long to update! Very busy day that I had! Thanks for all of the love and patience!

xx - Jo

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