Until Death Do We Part
NOTE* This first chapter will be the events leading up to the main story.
Chapter One:
Prologue:
Grave Situations
Death is a funny thing in a lot of ways. When people think of death, they think of a finality, a moment in their life when they no longer exist to be. When I think of death, I think of endless situations that I found myself literally knocking at death's door. I remember times when I was a child and people who mattered to me passed away. I remember feeling that void in my heart each and every time I lost someone of importance to me; not that there were many, but there were a few. For me though, death became more than just a word describing an end, it became a word describing life and a word that led me to my best friend and lover.
When my mother Peggy and my father Howard became pregnant, they were ecstatic. They had always dreamed of having a son, an heir to the Stark Company; a son who Howard wanted to be exactly like his hero, Captain America. They were not so excited when they found out they were having a girl. Goodbye futurist and hello princess, or so my father always thought. The day I was born, was the day I had my first encounter with death, though I was too young to remember it clearly. All I know is what people told me and what people told me, is that I came close to dying because of a medical problem. Instead, my mother, Peggy Carter Stark, died in my place and my father never forgave me.
Eventually Howard remarried a woman named Maria Armendariz, the daughter of Maximiliano and Dolores Armendariz, two Italians from Italy; billionaires in their own right. Maria and Howard were never as close as Peggy and Howard had been, at least according to others, but Maria was the hope Howard held for another heir, a son. Maria took to me rather well, calling me her own daughter and treating me like I was worth something. The first several months of my life, I didn't even have a name because my father never wanted to name me after my mother died. Maria who had been friends with Peggy took it upon herself to name me and my father cared little when she did. I was given the name of Antoinette Peggy Stark, though it quickly got shortened to just Toni.
Maria became pregnant when I was three years old. Howard however seemed neutral about the whole thing. I think he didn't want to get excited until he knew for certain whether the child would be a boy or girl. When it came up a boy, well…I can't think of another time in my life that I ever saw my father smile as much as he did that year. He even noticed me more often, though I doubt he ever considered me his daughter even then.
It was during this year that I had my second meeting with death, though my first real memory of it. I was outside playing and Jarvis, my personal servant, was watching me from the patio while talking to my mother and father about the coming child and what his role would be concerning it. I had just started to turn around and head back up the hill when I noticed something sparkling in the tree. Though small in stature, I refused to let it stop me as shimmied up the tree. I was nearly there when I heard Jarvis yell out at me. I turned to look at him when the branch I was standing on gave way. That feeling that comes with falling wasn't one that would leave me. It was like my body had become weightless, a mere breeze in the wind. The sparkling object in the tree above fell with me as I hit the ground and I had only a moment's time to wrap my hand around it, when the entire went dark.
I can remember what happened after. I was standing there in darkness, staring at nothing, feeling nothing. Then a voice spoke to me.
"Toni", it said.
"Who are you?!" I yelled, looking for the source.
"Toni", it said again, "that was recklessly stupid."
I frowned, not at all impressed with the voice rebuking me for my actions.
"Who are you" I asked again, though a bit more humble.
"A friend", was it all said, "Your time has not yet come. Go back child."
"Wait", I called a light began surrounding me, "Tell me your name!"
At first I didn't think the voice would answer me, but then just as the light became brightest, I heard it say, "Claudius."
I didn't forget that name.
AVNGRS
The third close encounter I had with death, or who I now referred to in my head as Claudius, was when I was eleven years old. Jarvis was driving the family limo and Howard, Maria, myself, and my little brothers Roman and Julian were all in the back. Roman had just turned eight and Julian, four. We weren't by any means a tightknit family, but we were family. The weather was bad that day; rain poured from the sky and lightning flashed in the distance. The front window was obscured because of the amount of rain pouring sown, but Howard ordered Jarvis to keep driving. Father didn't want to be late to a meeting.
I was sitting on the right side of the car, staring at the rivulets of rain running down my window when I heard the squeal of tires. I had just turned to look towards Jarvis and my parents when the car flipped and rolled again and again and again.
I didn't need to know what had happened to know that my family and I were almost dead if not deceased entirely, because I heard his voice again.
"Toni", it said, "I see you far too often."
I remembering smiling at the exasperated sound.
"Won't you show yourself to me?" I asked.
Strangely enough, he did. His form was obscured in shadows and his face, forever blurred from my memory, but I remember his eyes. Those shining silver eyes.
"Humans are not even supposed to know we exist", he stated, watching me and my reaction.
I had kept my features schooled, but I had to admit, I was curious about why he was allowing me to see him when it was obvious from his words that he shouldn't.
"Why then?" I asked.
He tipped his head and stared deep into my own eyes as he came closer.
"You are special", he stated and I know he smiled, though I can't remember it clearly, "Now sleep Antoinette Stark and awaken anew."
"Wait", I yelled reaching for him, but he yanked his hand away before I could touch it, "Wait Claudius", I begged, "Won't you tell me what you are and why you seem to be here whenever I am near death?"
Claudius paused, searching my eyes with his own before he sighed. It was a weird sound, because it rumbled like thunder.
"Very well" he replied, "I am what you call a guardian."
"Guardian?" I questioned.
He nodded. "When humans dream, their consciousness evades awakening. It is our job as a guardian to protect that consciousness until the time they choose to once again awaken or until they cease being altogether."
"So…you are my guardian angel?"
Claudius blinked before laughing, another thundering sound.
"I suppose you could call me that, or you could literally call me a shadow of death, a grim reaper of sorts. Depends on how you see the afterlife, I suppose."
"Claudius…am I dying right now?"
Claudius frowned as he knelt in front of me, allowing me to see his eyes up close. They were so beautiful. A storm of silvers, blues, and purples that seemed to come out nearly glowing in appearance.
"Yes", he replied slowly, "you are, but your time isn't now."
"How do you know?"
He smiled. "It is my job to know when people will die, as I am their guardian and guide to the afterlife."
"Then… when will I die?"'
He shook his head.
"I cannot tell you that Antoinette, I just know that it is not now. Go back and awaken. I will continue to watch over you, rest assured."
I don't remember anything more of our meeting after that, only waking up in the hospital being after having been in a coma for nearly four months. I was informed then that I was the only survivor of the car crash and the heir to the entire Stark fortune and company. It was at this time, that I met Obadiah Stane, my father's best friend and most trusted advisor.
AVNGRS
During the years after the death of my family, I did many things and saw many things, but it wasn't until my sixteenth birthday that I met Claudius again and for once, I didn't meet him because of my own near death experience, but rather a friend's.
When I was fourteen I started attending MIT and there I met James Rhodes, my best friend. James was like a brother to me in a lot of ways. He was nineteen and though five years older than me, he never once looked down on me or tried to use me. At least, not at first.
I was turning sixteen and for my birthday, he decided to throw a party. Not just any small party, but a wild, alcohol only, party. I didn't mind. I had been drinking since I was thirteen, which had been the first time Obadiah introduced me to the stuff, and James knew it. James Rhodes or Rhodey as I usually called him, had been getting a little carried away with a girl when a group of guys came out of nowhere and literally decked him, knocking him back into an expensive vase that I just knew Obadiah would yell about later when he found out.
Rhodey tried to defuse the situation, but the guy wouldn't back down. The punk grabbed another vase sitting nearby and slammed it over his head. Let me just say that the screams people heard that night, were one hundred percent real. Blood poured from the head wound and the man who had been doing it ran into the night as people screamed bloody murder. Literally.
I rushed to Rhodey's side, but even I could see he didn't have long left to live. It was then I noticed for the first time, Claudius and another person standing side by side talking in the corner of the room. Neither one had noticed I was watching them as their attention was strictly on Rhodey and the mass of panicked people who were quickly leaving the house in a mad rush. I could hear the sound of sirens in the distance, but I had eyes only for Rhodey and Claudius. When I noticed the man with Claudius take a step towards Rhodey, his eyes sad and downcast, I couldn't help what I did next. I stepped in front of him and growled. I will never forget the look Claudius gave me that day. The day he realized I could now see him without being in my subconciousness. It was a look of pure bewilderment.
"Don't take Rhodey!" I begged, "He is my best friend!"
The man I didn't know looked heartbroken, but he shook his head and stepped to go around me. I didn't let him.
"You can't take him!" I yelled again.
Claudius came to me and to my surprise, wrapped his arms around me, stopping me from moving as the stranger moved past me and to Rhodey's side. Never before had Claudius touched me, so I had to wonder why now?
"Toni", he whispered in my ear, "be at peace. James is not dead and will not die now, but Rogan must guard his consciousness if you wish him to be whole and as he once was."
Tears sprang to my eyes as I leaned into his embrace.
I'm sorry…I'm so sorry", I cried.
"Silence child", he whispered with a fond smile, "sleep."
I felt my body go lax as he lowered me to the ground. For the rescue workers when they arrived, I had merely passed away, but I knew the truth. Claudius had put me to sleep in order to guard my mind. He wanted to protect me.
"You truly are special", he had whispered into my ear, as I closed my eyes and dreamt sweet dreams.
AVNGRS
After that day, when Rhodey nearly died, my life changed forever. I could see guardians as clearly as I could see the humans around me. It was as though my eyes had been opened and I could see those guardians that followed their humans around each and every day of their lives. I could speak to them and they could nod or shake their head at me, but Claudius was the only one I could ever hear actual words spoken from.
It was a year after I graduated MIT, I was eighteen and now the new owner of Stark Industries because of having reached my legal age. I thought that this would be a day like any other, but I thought wrong. It was the day my life ended and the day my life began again.
I had just recently given a weapons demonstration to some buyers of SI weaponry when I was in a jeep riding with some soldiers taking me back to the military airport base. I can still remember their faces. Smiling young faces, just a couple years older than myself. It was the last time they would ever smile.
We had just been riding along, joking with one another when I noticed Claudius appear outside my window, with four others. The same number of people I had in the car with me. I knew then, that these soldiers wouldn't be going home again and I wondered if my time had also come.
When the first bomb dropped down in front of us, I could remember the panic that took me, but it was Claudius' resigned facial feature that kept me calm, like he knew what was coming and accepted it. While I didn't trust the fates, I trusted him.
The jeep was emptied out as the soldiers rushed into the desert to fend off the coming enemies, but I knew it was futile. The first to go down was a woman and I watched with a deep sadness as her guardian, the first female guardian I had ever seen, knelt beside her and closed her eyes with a finality I had never seen before. The guardian turned to me and to my surprise, gave a small bow before vanishing into thin air. The other three soon followed, their guardians showing a small sign of grief before vanishing altogether, until the only ones left were me and Claudius.
"Toni", he whispered as a bomb went off next to me.
The pain was excruciating and my ears rang, but I could still hear his voice somehow, past the panic and the pain, I could feel his own emotions rage within me. He was scared and … sorry? Sorry for what, I wanted to ask, but darkness took me and this time, he wasn't there to guide me awake again.
AVNGRS
When I opened my eyes, I could have sworn I was dead. No, like I truly thought I was dead and that where I had awoken was hell, because it certainly wasn't heaven. I was lying on a cot, my chest aching with a raw, sharp pain and I could hear strange words being spoken around me. I remember seeing them start a surgery on my chest and I can remember screaming at the fierce pain and yet it all felt like a dream.
The second time I woke, I knew I wasn't dreaming. I was in pain, agony even, and I was scared. I sat up, only to have gentle hands hold me down as I tried to regain myself after nearly blacking out again.
"Toni Stark", the voice whispered.
"Claudius?" I asked back.
The voice was silent for a moment.
"No", it said, a bit confused, "My name is Yinsen. You are Toni Stark, correct?"
I opened my eyes and looked up into the kind face above my own. He smiled in sympathy down at me, as I nodded.
"That's me", I whispered.
He nodded and no other words were needed. Yinsen became my most important person during that time I was kidnapped in Afghanistan for three months, he stayed by my side teaching me and caring for me the best he could in caveman like conditions. Still, I couldn't help but wonder where Claudius had gone. Did he leave me because he knew I was going to die? Or maybe, he left me because he had given up being my guardian.
I couldn't help the deep depression I fell into during that time, but Yinsen helped me. We had been there for so long, I lost track of time and eventually days turned into weeks and weeks into months. During that time I was tortured relentlessly and ordered again and again to make weapons. I refused and the torture continued. I built the arc reactor, the glowing light in my chest that stopped the bomb shrapnel from killing me; at least not immediately. I also began building the first version of the Ironman armor because I knew it was our only chance out of our current situation.
I remember that final day when we were about to leave. Yinsen and I had made plans, we were going to go back home, but Raza it seemed had other plans. He attacked us before my armor was ready and Yinsen stepped in front of me to give me the time I needed. Bullets sliced through his flesh and I screamed in anger and pain as I blasted Raza full of holes. As soon as the man fell, I turned to Yinsen and his smoky blue colored eyes, but I knew it was too late. Blood ran from his mouth and he smiled up at me past his square rimmed glasses.
"Come on Yin, get up. We…we need to stick to the plan" I begged him.
"It's my time", he whispered, "This was always the plan Toni."
"W-what about your family, waiting for you?!"
He smiled sadly.
"They are already passed on. No doubt, my wife is waiting for me as we speak."
He smiled before turning to look at me again.
"I am sorry to once again leave you alone", he whispered and I felt my heart ache.
I couldn't help what I did next. I kissed him, straight on the lips. Yinsen wasn't an old man by any means. He was only around thirty-four at the time and while I was eighteen, he had become someone more dear to me than all the money in the world. I remember kissing him and how he kissed me back, until finally he pulled away with a bitter sweet smile.
"You have your entire life ahead of you", he whispered, "Don't waste it, A-Antoinette… Stark."
Everything after that moment was a bit foggy. I remember his guardian stepping forward to close his eyes as they all did when their protected one passes away, but his guardian was different than the others. She was a beautiful fair haired woman with rosy cheeks and green colored eyes. She turned to me and gave me the biggest most appreciative smile I had ever been given and it suddenly clicked for me. This woman, this guardian of his, was his wife.
"Please", I begged her, "make him happy."
She nodded and turned away from me, vanishing out of my sight. I didn't wait around after that. Yinsen was dead and I had some terrorists to obliterate.
AVNGRS
The next time I almost died was only a few months after my return to civilization following the events of Afghanistan. I was welcomed warmly home by Obadiah and my staff, especially by my personal assistant, Pepper Potts. I had put a stop to weapon making upon my return and while I knew that it was for the best, that it would lower the amount of people being killed by my own hand each and every day, I knew not everyone would be happy about it. I hadn't expected Obadiah to be one of those people. His betrayal had been nearly a fatal blow for me.
I had been home, working on my suits when the phone rang. I opened it to speak to Pepper, when something sharp zapped me in the back. I wouldn't have expected Obadiah to be there, killing me with his own hand as he pulled the reactor from my chest, literally twisting out my heart in more ways than one.
Honestly though, it was during those minutes sitting there, dying and unable to move that I thought about Claudius and why he still wasn't here. Perhaps, I thought with a small ounce of hope, his not being here meant I would live again. I wouldn't, couldn't dare to think of it being for another reason.
Thanks to Dummy and Rhodey, I did make it out of there alive and only in the end, when I killed Obadiah with my own hand, did I realize I didn't need anyone to protect me. I could do that on my own. Or so I told myself.
During the time of my second reactor, I began to notice that I was losing my ability to see guardians. The last I saw was the one for Obadiah when I killed him and since then, I hadn't seen any others. Not even at funerals where most were located. I wondered if perhaps that was why I couldn't see Claudius anymore. Maybe he was still here, but invisible to me.
It was also during this time, my nineteenth birthday that I began to notice other signs of problems. My skin was becoming infected with silver colored lines and it didn't take a genius to know that they weren't normal. I also knew almost immediately that they were coming from my reactor and that the machine I had built to keep me alive, was also killing me, albeit much more slowly.
It was during this time that I met Natasha Romanoff or at that, Natalie Rushman and from then on, my life changed for the better. It was because of her I was cured from the poison and it was through her that I met the team and the man who would become my everything.