Incandescent Ch3

AN: I'm gonna warn you guys. Things. Will. Get. Real. Not necessarily in this chapter, but in upcoming chapters. I won't make there any sudden miraculous happenings, but Star Wars IS known for plot twists (and Chewbaca. Never forget Chewbaca). I'm glad you all enjoyed the last chapter and Guest, I fixed the error for you. Thanks for pointing it out. Here's the chapter!

Being on the run is something I'm used to. But trying to get away from a group that you're on the run with is something else entirely. And trying to meet up with enemy number 1 only makes things harder. I had to give a good reason, one that everyone would believe without insisting that they go with me.

Two words. Jedi. Business.

And when anyone asked…

"Can we come?"

"No Ezra, this is something I have to do alone," is how I responded. Technically I wasn't lying. Meeting with your deranged ex-master is a private event.

With my reason for leaving covered, I left for Tatooine. In the Twilight. Which I somehow found in some old hangar. It's a small galaxy after all. Chances are I'll run into Obi-Wan at some point too. Wherever he is.

I looked at the pilots seat, where Anakin used to sit, and sighed. In my head I could still see him there, making a snarky remark while flying with his eyes closed. He was such a hot shot. But I loved him for it.

Those days have passed now, but maybe we can get them started again. I almost laughed. Darth Vader, being sassy. There's something you wouldn't expect to see. Ever.

With that funny mental image in mind, I set course for the old dust ball and let the stars turn to streaks as the Twilight went to hyperspace.

Perhaps I should have thought this through. Technically, I was committing treason by meeting Ahsoka on Tatooine. But what do I care about more, her or the Empire? I wrestled with the question for a while, then decided it wouldn't hurt to see her just this once. What's the worst potential outcome?

Actually, the Emperor would punish me greatly (clearly he doesn't care that I'm already a deformed freak) if he were to find out. He is my master, I must obey him.

'Anakin, don't say things like that!'

And there was Padmé's disembodied voice to make me feel guilty about…practically everything. Weaker men would commit suicide or at least go cry in the corner at this painful reminder. I may or may not have done the second option once…twice…three times… What? I'm a walking tragedy, sue me.

But today, I'll be strong. Not for the Empire or the Emperor. For Ahsoka. Because she never tortured me with lightening for slipping up. She would simply give advice or encouragement, then get me to stop moping and move my butt.

Now, I'm moving my butt to Tatooine.

Wait, did I just say "butt"? Like, multiple times? Now I'm saying "like" in unnecessary places! Oh force, her naïvety is rubbing off on me already.

Oh well.

I never thought I'd be glad to feel conflict. Throughout my trip, I felt Anakin's overwhelming presence. It was a perfect storm, light breaking through darkness and regaining control. And to think the Jedi all thought there was no turning back from the dark side (Revan much?)! But that was probably the easiest part. Talking with him face-to-face had the potential of being far more difficult.

I landed the Twilight near a cave on the dust ball, just incase shelter was needed. I spun around in the pilots chair until I heard the sound of another ship landing. He's here. I internally freaked out and straightened out my tunic, trying to look more professional. I got out of the old rust bucket and approached the sleek white shuttle.

Here goes nothing.

I stood at where the ramp SHOULD have stretched out, waiting for the sound of heavy breathing and metal boots meeting metal floors. It never came. Something was clearly up. I activated one of my lightsabers and made myself an entrance. The inside of the ship was just as monotone as the outside. Except for the smoke coming from another room.

I entered, 'sabers blazing, to find myself staring at a black wall. But, it wasn't actually a wall. I didn't know that though. So I poked it. And it, or should I say HE, reacted.

I have never seen someone flinch so violently before. I'm not even sure you could call it a flinch. The "wall" turned around and I found myself staring into the mask of death.

I tried to say something but no words came out. From the fact that I heard seven breathing cycles, I imagine the same thing was happening for him too.

"Why did I see smoke when I came in here?" I asked.

The mask conveyed no emotion as he moved towards the side and motioned towards some weird flaming pod.

"My last mechanic was an idiot," was the synthesized response I received.

THAT is what his voice sounds like now? I know it's just a voice modifier but…it's really creepy to think of how it used to sound, and then hear THAT. Well, at least he was TRYING to be funny.

"On a scale of one to ten?" I questioned.

"What would you rate a man who can't tell matches from power couplings?" Vader asked.

"That bad? Wow. I have to say a thirty six."

"Reasonable."

This would be the part where we'd laugh a little, but we didn't.

"Do you have a fire extinguisher?" I asked.

"Yet another reason for that thirty six. The mechanic forgot to put it in," Vader replied.

"Seriously?" I exclaimed, "How'd that guy even get a job?"

Vader nodded, "A relevant question indeed. Perhaps the Emperor likes morons. His most favored men fall into that category."

That's when I attempted gentle teasing, "So, I guess that means you and ol' Palps aren't on the best of terms. You aren't a TOTAL moron after all."

I didn't get the laugh or comeback I was hoping for. "I beg to differ actually. I've made some choices I most certainly regret, and I've paid the price for it. All these years I've tried to blame someone else for the course of events that led me to be who I am now, but it's really just my fault. Because I AM a total moron," Vader said, with an evident sadness to his voice. His helmet tilted down so he was looking at the floor.

I was taken aback by this. I really didn't expect him to start doing any confessing, much less getting emotional. What if I had accidentally upset him? I think I did, and that was the very last thing I had wanted to do. The fire was catching, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. In fact, I decided to make the moment.

"So you screwed up a bit, okay maybe a lot, but you shouldn't let that label you for life. You have the right to make your own choices and to change the path fate has laid out for you. It may not be written in Imperial law, but it's your right as an organic being. No one should be able to order you around like their slave. I once met a very special person, and he taught me that you need stand up for what you truly believe in, even if it means breaking the rules," I said encouragingly.

That earned me eye contact, and a hand on my shoulder, "He must be very proud of you, wherever he is."

"Then why don't you bring him over."

I can imagine his eyes widened under the mask. "I see what you're doing," he began, and I worried everything would go down the drain, "and I'm afraid there's little chance of it working."

"Then why don't you try to do what you used to do best and take a chance?"

When I first turned to the dark side, my world was turned upside down in a matter of hours. Now, talking to someone from my past life, it's been turned upside down again. In a perfect world, that would been it was right side up again. But clearly, I don't live in a perfect world.

"I-I-I…I'm sorry Ahsoka, but I just, I-" I tried to explain it, but failed.

"You what?"

"I don't know how. In fact, I don't know who am I anymore. Or who I'm supposed to be. Or really ANYTHING. Can't you see that I'M A LOST CAUSE!" I screamed.

There was a dead silence, not including my breathing, which had quickened significantly. The fire had died and Ahsoka was staring at me. What had I done? Had I just, let it out? All of my long buried sadness and pain, breaking through the walls I'd built and kept up for fifteen years? The damage was done, my defenses were destroyed. There was nothing left to keep me from doing the one thing I'd really needed to do the whole time. Cry.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, salty tears falling down my scarred face, "I'm just not accustomed to others caring about m-m-me. I-I didn't know how to react a-and I was so confused and lost and…I'm sorry for becoming such a terrible person. If you want to go, I understand. I wouldn't want to be around me either."

Ahsoka sighed and took my hand in hers, "Anakin, now you're gonna make me cry. There's nothing you need to be sorry for, you were manipulated by an evil mastermind. It wasn't your fault. Now look at me." I did, and she frowned. "I wish I could see your face. With that awful mask on, I feel like I'm talking to a wall."

'That's right. I'm not human any more, and I never will be again,' I thought.

Ahsoka seemed to realize she'd accidentally brought on more of my self deprecating thoughts, and continued, "But then I look into your heart, and it's the most human thing I've ever seen. Part of being human, is struggle. With that lava river and this suit, you're on life support aren't you? You struggle just to make it through each hour! Add that to the emotional pain, you're practically the very image of humanity. Just on a very high scale. A person who's been through tough times, stays strong through those tough times, and as you proved today; gets emotional. The only thing missing, is your independence. So, what do you say?"

She'd just offered me the one thing I'd been wanting my whole life. To be truly free. And accepting that it's possible is the key to making that happen. I realized that. The idea still seemed incredulous. Me, Darth Vader, the baddest Imperial of them all, rebelling against the Empire I helped to create. But the ideals of the Empire were even crazier. Meaning terrible.

"You're stuck with me Snips," I answered.

Next thing I knew, she'd wrapped her arms around me and said, "I knew you'd come through! The Jedi were wrong, there it IS possible to come back from the dark side!"

Acceptance is the key to be truly free. Ahsoka had accepted me, and I did the same for her. With my heart beating in my chest, I watched as the golden gates of opportunity opened up to me for the first time.

AN: For any of you who've read my work before, you knew I wouldn't be able to keep him on the dark side for long. In fact, this is a new record. I managed to keep Anakin as Vader for about 2.5 chapters. My old record was only around 0.5. What? I like my chosen ones to be on the side I'm rooting for. This is my longest chapter so far by the way. As always, please leave a review. Your input can actually be very helpful if you say what you liked and give suggestions. I take the reviews into consideration when I write.