So I was in my room in the free company house, lounging around in my underwear. It's a very cozy room, furnished in the Doman style, with tatami flooring, rice paper doors, and the warmest kotatsu for those cold winter nights. At the moment, however, it was summer, and thus I was in my underwear, because for what purpose does one own their own room if not to lounge around half-naked in it? Anyway, I was sitting down, staring into the fireplace longingly, when who should bust through the door to my room but Ronnie, our resident guild leader.

To say I was /shocked would be an understatement. After all, I had thought I was alone here in my weeaboo's hideaway of a room, able to lustily look at my character's scaly legs in peace. I stood up, about to say something to the large man, but before I could utter a syllable he immediately turned around and bolted back out the door just as quickly as he had entered.

"What's the world coming to when a girl can't even lounge around in her underwear in her own room?" I asked the free company, knowing Ronnie would hear it and we would probably share a laugh over it.

But the line was silent. Ronnie did not respond. In fact, he logged off. Just as quiet as he had been during his brief excursion, he left Eorzea for that mysterious otherworld beyond the veil.

And then it came to me. I knew what this all meant.

I just witnessed a failed panty raid.

Clearly, as what other purpose could he possibly have for entering so suddenly and silently into my domain, just as the lesbian lizard lady who holds dominion there was sitting by the fireplace wearing naught but said panties? Certainly not because a few hours ago I had suggested people come in and see how I had newly furnished the place. That wouldn't make any sense at all.

But I am not a vengeful woman. Nor am I wholly innocent myself - the Roegadyn women (Hydaelyn bless their souls) of my free company have much to say of the dastardly Au Ra who ogles them from afar and blows sweet kisses with every chance she is offered. Thus, I chose not to shame poor Ronnie for his want of the silken treasure.

I chose to help him. Hurriedly I threw on some actual clothes and left my room, making my way for the nearest mailbox. When the moogle-capped box was within my grasp, I threw it open and pulled out a missive.

You don't have to go on panty raids anymore, man. It's okay. Here. They're yours now. Godspeed.

To the letter I attached four hempen pantalettes, each a different color (for variety), and each a treasured friend. With a quiet prayer for luck and for safe travels I sent the letter off.

And that is how I saved my guild leader from irreversible humiliation.