Amethyst stared down at the gem before her, her vision blurry from tears. She wished that she had healing tears like Steven, that could somehow magically bring him back to life right before her eyes. But there was nothing she could do, there was nothing any of them could do. Amethyst had never felt more useless.

Not only could she do nothing to bring him back, she hadn't been there to defend him in the first place. They were usually so careful on missions, always watching over Steven, taking care of him and protecting him. What had gone wrong? Why did they ever let their guard down? One thing was for sure: if Steven ever came back, there was no way they were going to let him go on any more missions. Then again, if he came back, wouldn't it prove that he could regenerate just like the others, and be absolutely fine afterwards?

The gem traced a circle on the ground around the red gem, sniffling as she replayed the mission in her mind. Why couldn't it have been her instead? She was always the one that was getting hit by monsters or crashing into things. She could have regenerated in no time, and none of them would have to have the guilt that they may have killed Rose's son.

Amethyst wiped her eyes, blowing her nose on her shirt. She brushed her hair from her face, so she could see clearly from both eyes. She picked up the gem, looking at it closely, turning it this way and that, checking for anything that might indicate Steven was going to come back. But after awhile, she sighed, cushioning it in her hands and placing them in her lap.

Amethyst hated waiting. It was why she always regenerated so quickly. Resting inside her gem was a waste of time. There were things to eat and places to explore and monsters to fight. Plus, she didn't want her popularity with Steven to get one-upped by Pearl or Garnet while she was out of commission. Amethyst liked to do things quick and dirty.

"Hey dude." She ran one hand over the polished surface, watching the gem reflect in the light. "I don't know if you can hear me. But we all miss you a lot. I know Garnet might not say it, but I think she blames herself for this. We all do, really. I think that's why she's been gone so much. I think-I think Ruby and Sapphire might be separating, and Garnet doesn't want us to know how much she's hurting. Pearl's pretty upset too. I'm really sorry, Steven. We shouldn't have let this happen to you. I shouldn't have let this happen to you. I'm always making mistakes, but usually only I have to deal with the consequences. Please come back to us, buddy. We'll keep you safe, I-I promise." Amethyst let out a sob, holding the quartz gem to her own.

She hated when the other gems saw her cry. It made her feel weak. But in the comfort of her own room, Amethyst felt safe to let her emotions flow. Rarely could she remember crying so much. The last time she'd holed herself away for a good cry had probably been... Rose's passing. And right before she'd left, she'd asked them to take care of Steven. It had been such a simple request! Babysit a little boy! How could they fight monsters so much bigger than themselves, but they couldn't take care of one little kid?! They'd all promised Rose, and they'd failed. It had been her dying wish, and here Amethyst was holding the very gem that they were supposed to protect.

Amethyst rocked back and forth for awhile, sobbing and whimpering. She hadn't cried so hard in a long time, and it felt kind of good to finally let everything go. Every time she started to feel better, she glanced down at the gem pressed to her chest, and all the guilt and failure washed over her again, bringing a fresh wave of tears.

It was probably hours, but it could have been days, that Amethyst's just stayed and stared at the Rose Quartz gem. What did time even matter? In fact, what did anything even matter? When Rose Quartz herself had first given up her body to become Steven, it had been a difficult time for all the Crystal Gems. But Steven had been a distraction from their sorrow, their promise to Rose always a constant in their minds. But not only was their leader gone now, but their hope for the future as well. Steven had Rose's shield and powers, and from the way his abilities were progressing and the way he always tried to initiate team building activities, he was shaping up to be every bit as great of a leader as Rose was. And now all that hope was gone.

Eventually Amethyst pulled herself from her room, her feet dragging and her head low. She was glad that none of the other gems had come to check on her, and seen her in this state. She carefully held Steven's gem in both hands, acting quite atypical of her normally rambunctious nature. It was midday in the house when she exited her space, the sun shining brightly through the windows.

Greg was sitting on the steps leading up to the bedroom, but her perked up when the purple gem entered. "Amethyst! How's-" He cut himself off as he saw Amethyst's expression, his gaze flying to the red gem she still held in her hands. Amethyst could only sigh, her grief rendering her unable to form words. Greg gently took the gem from her, cradling it against himself. They both felt so lost.

It was Garnet that pierced the silence, the squeak of the screen door opening giving away her arrival. Her glasses, as usual, covered her eyes, hiding her expression. The tallest gem walked over, standing before the two. "Greg. It's my turn to watch Steven." she said, matter-of-factly.

Of course, Greg was reluctant to let go of his son now that he'd finally gotten the gem back again. But he knew the Crystal Gems were just as much Steven's family as he was, and even though he couldn't help but at least partially blame them for what happened, he knew they loved his little guy every bit as much as he did. With a last look at the gem, he passed it to Garnet.

"Thank you, Greg." Garnet placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. As she headed off to her own room, she moved the comforting touch to Amethyst's head. Garnet was trying to be strong for all of them, as she always was. But she'd been gone so often since the incident because she knew she wasn't strong, she knew she couldn't be the leader that Pearl and Amethyst needed to depend on. She was unstable, and every bit of an emotional wreck as her teammates.

It was difficult enough pretending that she was fine for the few moments she was in the same room with Amethyst and Greg. But as soon as the Rose Quartz gem had been placed in her hand, she knew she could only stay composed for a few seconds.

Amethyst stood silently after Garnet had gone, wondering what she should do now. She didn't feel like doing anything. She pondered eating, then entertained the idea of visiting the Kindergarten, or maybe a simple walk on the beach would do her some good. In the end, she retreated back to her room, now empty handed, leaving Greg by himself once again.