Revenge of the Straight Elf

Disclaimer: I own the Lord of the Rings DVD (yay!) but I don't even have the special edition one (waah!) so how is it possible that I own the whole thing? IT ISN'T! (in case you didn't understand that. I do not own the Lord of the Rings)

Author's Notes: Ok, I'm going to say this in the beginning so we understand: I have nothing against gay pairings. Actually I enjoy reading a good Legolas/Aragorn romance every now and then. But in my story they're not gay. In fact they're just good friends. No benefits involved.

Duo: Only because you'd get jealous otherwise. And when are you going to work on stories with me in them again! sticks tongue out at Legolas author's pet!

Legolas: looks stricken I'm sorry! I can't help it that my good looks inspire her to write more about me and not about you!

Emerald: It's ok Duo, I still love you! It's just I finally saw the Two Towers and I'm all fired up about Legolas now!

Duo: rolls eyes whatever, just get on with the story.

Chapter 1

It started out as a normal day for Legolas. He had woken up then practiced archery for awhile, then went to get something to eat. As he passed through the hall he noticed his father, King Thranduil talking to a few other elves. He changed course to head over to their direction and saw that his father was trying not to laugh. This intrigued the young prince, and he couldn't help but wonder what it was his father found so funny. When he finally had made his way over to the group he bowed.

Thranduil smiled at the elves and announced "My son, the Prince Legolas." The others bowed back, than left. Legolas looked at his father with a confused expression.

"Why did they leave, Father?" The King chuckled.

"They didn't want to be here when I broke the news to you."

Legolas looked even more confused. "What news?" At this Thranduil covered his mouth to hold the laughter in.

"The council believes that it would be best to unite Mirkwood and Rivendell. They propose that you should marry into Lord Elrond's family."

Legolas looked at his father, worried. "I really don't see what is so funny about that, Father." Thranduil quickly pulled him into another room so no one would see him laughing before answering.

"Well, they told me that to suit your desires more, they have offered one of his sons." At this he could no longer contain his laughter and fell onto the floor. Legolas stood, shocked. He glared at his father.

"There is utterly NOTHING funny about this situation!"

"Yes there is!" Thranduil managed to choke out.

Legolas just stood silent before stomping out of the room. He stomped all the way to his chambers and locked the door. It wasn't so much that gays offended him, it was the fact that everyone considered him one. This wasn't the first time someone had mistaken him that way. 'Imagine' Legolas thought. 'Me, gay! I'm a womanizer for crying out loud!' He sighed.

For some reason people refused to accept that. They were constantly saying that he was sleeping with Elladan, Elrohir, or Haldir. What made him even madder was the fact that everyone ignored the actual gay elves. Nobody ever commented on Elrond's obsession with Thranduil, or that Elladan and Elrohir actually were gay. They always just assumed that Legolas had seduced whoever they were pairing him with at the time. He shook his head. Mostly it tended to be with Aragorn, who was his best friend. Aragorn was actually in a relationship with Elrond's daughter Arwen, but that didn't stop anybody from thinking they were involved. It always made Legolas mad that Arwen refused to stand up for them when she was well aware of how things really stood. She always claimed that it was funny. And now they wanted him to marry one of Elrond's sons!

Legolas cursed under his breath. His father might eventually help out, but for now he was too amused to do anything. Legolas suddenly stood up straight. He refused to be mistaken any longer. He would prove to people that he was straight AND expose those who weren't. It would be his long deserved revenge. Smiling deviously Legolas looked at the door. His father was sure to come soon and tell him he was being sent to Rivendell. Well, all the better. It was the perfect place to hatch his scheme.

This is going to be interesting! Hehe! Oh, by the way, when I put something like 'this' it means that it's people thoughts.