Disclaimer: I own nothing Downton Abbey related. It's a disappointment, really.

Mary knew that her family was talking about her downstairs. She knew they were talking about Matthew's proposal. They were probably also wondering why she had not answered the poor man.

"May I give my reply in a few days?" she had asked. His bewildered look haunted her memory. He had hesitantly nodded and smiled like the gentleman he truly was. She was flattered, really she was. Mary was happy that a man of such a pure heart found her worthy of being a wife.

There was a problem though. There was always a problem and this time it was all because of Mary's heart. She thought of the Irishman who had talked to her, who had been intimate with her. He had confessed his feelings – at least the beginning of them – and she had disappeared. She had left him. She hadn't dared to go near the garage since the proposal. Mary knew he must have heard. Probably from Barrow, the gossiper. She wondered what he thought of her. Did he think less of her? Did he wonder what she would tell Matthew?

Mary found herself slinking down the stairs, willing her family's chatter to go on so that she could escape out the door. Indeed, their chatter continued. Mary quickly stepped outside and inhaled the fresh air. She had felt as though she was suffocating inside. She felt as if she was suffocating outside, but it was more bearable. She stood near the front of the house. She wasn't worried that Matthew would come. He wouldn't. He was giving her space to mull over his proposal and then answer.

Really, what was there to consider? His proposal was clear. He wanted to marry her and love her. She would be a solicitor's wife. Not forever, Mary reminded herself. She would, if she married him, become Countess of Grantham one day. That was an exciting thought. Downton meant so much to her. It was where she was held as a baby, where she took her first steps, where she proudly grew up. There was no question in her mind that she could run Downton. Her fear was that someone else couldn't run Downton. Matthew seemed capable enough, but would his wife be capable of running the estate? His wife would not be just a figure in society, she would have responsibilities. Mary could handle responsibility. She could handle it better than her sisters. She knew Downton. That was more than some pretty stranger could say.

Her legs kept her moving and she realized she ended up closer to the garage than she would have liked. A jolt went through her body and she anxiously backed away. What if he saw her? She missed talking to him. She missed the conversation more than the other aspects. At least she was still somewhat a lady. She felt her breathing increase as she saw movement in the garage. All of a sudden the door swung open and Sybil stepped out. Sybil was laughing, her hand on her stomach and her head titled back. Tom was right behind her, a large smile on his face.

"Mary, dear!" Sybil cooed as she saw her older sister. She walked to her and smiled.

Mary knew how to perfect a fake smile – and she did this now. "Sybil, whatever are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing at all. Is Papa or Mama calling for me?"

"No. I, well I was just walking."

"Oh yes. Deep thoughts," said Sybil with a smile. She patted Mary's shoulder and walked ahead.

The smile fell from Mary's face once Sybil was out of their presence. Her gaze landed on Tom and she felt her breathing become ragged. They stared at each other for a moment, she allowed her eyes to look up and down him. Her lips parted. She missed him.

Mary felt as if something was stuck in her throat and was preventing her from speaking. Her red lips pressed together and she quickly fled back to the house.

/

Mary Crawley had never been an explorer. Her sisters were seen as adventurous, Sybil at least loved exploring uncharted waters. Mary, however, had been told where her place was. For that reason, she had no reason to explore. Mary had her life planned out for her and there had been no reason to do anything daring. Patrick was never the bold type and because of that Mary wasn't either.

She felt silly, walking further through the grounds of Downton than she had ever dared to go. She supposed she had been to the edges on her horse, but never in her shoes and nice dress that was meant for tea at a Lord and Lady's home. Mary laughed, a feeling of insanity creeping through her. She had to be insane. She had to.

Mary was walking slowly because she had at least remembered that a lady never ran. She was contemplating how un-lady like she had become when the rain started to fall. It started slowly and then sped up. Large droplets were falling on her bare arms and on her face. The rain came down faster and Mary felt as if she was drowning. She was drowning.

Her hair felt heavier as it started to sag. Strands started to stick to her pale cheeks and she blinked furiously. The sky had grown dark and the raindrops were irritating her eyes. Damn, she thought. Goddamn.

She shivered as she decided that it was a good time to walk back. How late was it exactly? How much time did she have to change for dinner? And why was it so cold suddenly?

Her dress felt heavier than anything she had ever worn as it clung to her curves. Her shoes were ruined as dirt turned to mud and sloshed around her. Her small heels sunk into the mud and Mary let out a yelp as she struggled to free her left foot from the muddy hole. Was anyone looking for her? She was drowning.

Mary freed her foot and continued down the path she had come from. The path, now though, was hard to see. The raindrops continued to irritate her eyes and she furiously brushed them away. It was no use, her hands were wet and only made her eyes hurt more. She whimpered. "It's no use."

Was anyone looking for her? Did they even realize she was not in her bedroom? Mary continued forward in what she hoped was the correct direction. Her hair slowly fell out of its twist and clung to her neck and cheeks. Her teeth were chattering.

This, she thought, is why I don't go exploring the unknown. The phrase ran through her mind and Mary abruptly stopped. She had been enjoying herself until the rain. The unknown had been beautiful. It was enchanting and she wouldn't have known that unless she adventured further than she ever had. The unknown was excitingly beautiful. Yes, the rain was irritating and she didn't enjoy that one bit. The rain was disastrous for her, but it would go back to normal. The rain would clear and the area would become breathtaking once more. Mary was sure of this. She wasn't drowning.

Mary continued her walk back with a new determination. Her family didn't think she could do it. They would never assume she could be adventurous. That assumption was because they had built her role. They had made her role and made sure she fit it. But Patrick was dead. It was tragic, yes, but it gave Mary a second chance. She wouldn't be throwing it away with Matthew because Matthew was a wonderful man. He was good. But so was another man she knew. A man she would not have dared to be seen with at first. "He hates you now though," Mary whispered.

She continued walking with determination. She freed her foot whenever it got stuck in mud and held her dress up to prevent anymore mud clinging to it. Her teeth chattered and she could see the goosebumps along her arms. She was cold. Goddamn, she thought. Her pace started to slow and she cried out in frustration. Mary Crawley was no quitter.

"Mary!"

She laughed. She was hearing voices. Life was cruel. She often reminded herself of that.

"Mary!"

He was in front of her then. His face held worry and his arms grabbed her. She blinked several times, an attempt to stop the raindrops. They were irritating her eyes, those damn raindrops.

"Tom? Whatever are you doing?"

"What are you doing? People are looking for you. Me, Barrow, Mosely, Lord Grantham. You were supposed to be at dinner ages ago. Do you not realize how fuckin' scared we were?"

And she did realize. She did. Her hands reached up and she hugged him tight. "Just hold me."

They stood there in the pouring rain, Mary's head buried in his chest and his arms around her waist. She wasn't drowning.

"I've got to take you back," he whispered.

She nodded in response and gave a yelp of surprise as he scooped her into his arms. Her hair was sticking to her cheeks as well as his as he led the way back to the search party. Her eyes had been squeezed shut. She hated the raindrops. Mary opened them and was met with her father's look of relief.

"Mary, thank the Lord." Her father was reaching out and he scooped her into his own arms. He held her and she hugged him back.

"I walked a little farther than intended," she managed to say.

"I should say so," said Lord Grantham. He turned to Tom and nodded. "Thank you Branson. Thank you for finding my daughter."

Mary kept her arms around her father as he brought her inside Downton. She was greeted by her crying mother and worried sisters.

"I'm fine, really."

Cora embraced her daughter and patted Mary's soaked head.

"Where were you?" asked Sybil.

"I went for a walk," replied Mary with a shrug.

"I hope you enjoyed it at least."

"It was rather pleasant."

"Next time, tell someone you are going for a walk. We had all thought you were in your bedroom and when Anna told us you were not… just never worry me," demanded Cora.

"Of course, Mama. I never meant to be gone long."

"You're lucky we don't have company," said Edith. Mary frowned but watched as her younger sister offered Mary a genuine smile.

"If you don't mind, I should like to go up."

"I'm going to call Clarkson," said Robert.

"Why?"

"I'm not sick, Papa,"

"We must be positive."

Mary was in no mood to argue with her father, so she headed up the stairs. She wasn't sick. She had not drowned.

/

Mary sat up in bed with a boring book that Edith had selected for her. It was horrible and Mary couldn't deny it as she tossed the book aside. Clarkson had come and said she had a fever. It would be best if she spent one day in bed before resuming life as usual.

"May I come in?"

"Of course," Mary replied.

She was greeted with her youngest sister. Sybil smiled as she sat at the edge of Mary's bed. Sybil patted Mary's leg. She knew how restless Mary could become and it was obvious now.

"How is the book Edith gave you?"

"A bore."

"Do try and read it. She was genuine when selecting it."

Mary sighed. "Has anything interesting happened?"

"Well, Matthew was told what happened. Isobel wanted to know everything about your condition and insisted Matthew not see you if you were contagious. I told her I have been up here with you and feel quite fine, but she wouldn't listen. Oh yes, and Tom Branson asked how you were feeling. I told him you were quid adamant on leaving your bed."

Mary's cheeks burned. "I hope you told them both it was nothing serious."

"I did, but well, they haven't seen you for themselves so I'm not sure if they believed me whole heartedly," Sybil said.

Mary tried not to picture men in her bedroom. She tried to shift her focus. "Has someone told Granny?"

"No, she would only be horrified at the impropriety of it all."

"Yes. It really did start out as a small walk though."

"Did you enjoy it? I remember when we were little and I was always begging to explore the ground but you said no. Once time even Edith wanted to explore, but you still said no."

"The walk was wonderful. I know I did not like doing that when we were younger but perhaps I've changed. It helped clear my head."

"Was something on your mind?"

"Are you asking indirectly about Matthew's proposal?"

"You suggested that, not I," said Sybil with a smirk.

"I was thinking about a million things, but I'm better now." Mary smiled. She had a lot to deal with and she was almost certain of the decision she was going to make. Almost.

She had not drowned. Yet.

So this is chapter one of the sequel. I'm really proud of this chapter and I hope you guys like it. This updating is going to be at a much slower pace so please don't get your hopes up for weekly updates (but I'll try my best)! I wasn't planning on uploading it this soon, but I couldn't leave you guys completely hanging. I really hope you liked. Please review, it means so much when you do.

I know some of you were disappointed with how Mary acted at the end of Addiction, but Mary acts irrationally and even cruelly when she gets scared. Things were never going to be perfect and Mary wasn't willing to immediately give up Downton when Tom told her how he felt. Downton is a huge part of Mary and that's why she is still considering Matthew's proposal. Also, Matthew isn't a bad guy and she's come to that realization which makes things ten times harder.

I'm on tumblr. Also, as a thank you for following me on there, I've uploaded a one-shot that will not be uploaded on here. I'm also very proud of that one shot which I wrote in less than an hour. Check my blog out: mrsmarybranson

Also, title of this might change!